Keep My Heart (Top Shelf Romance Book 7)

by Lex Martin

  “Viola,” Travis yells across the parking lot.

  “Do you ever go away?” I sigh as I unlock my car, but he catches up to me before I can open the door. I can smell the whiskey on his breath as he comes closer.

  “Nope.”

  “You’re not driving like this, Travis. Regardless of how mad I am at you right now.”

  “Mad at me? For what exactly, princess? If I remember correctly, you were the one going on a date. Not me.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Travis. This is just like the Anthony thing all over again.”

  “Andrew,” he corrects me again.

  I sigh. “Gah, whatever. The point is, you can do whatever you want, but the moment I go out with someone, you act like this. Make up your mind. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either? That’s bullshit. I’m tired of your double standards. My heart isn’t disposable. It’s not the first time your words have hurt me like that, and now I’m making sure it’s the last.”

  He looks at me, his expression blank. I take the opportunity to slip inside the car. I roll down the window and watch as he stands there with his hands in his pockets.

  “Get in. I’m taking you home.” I snort to myself. “Funny I’m saying that considering it’s the exact opposite of what you told me earlier.”

  Travis leans down, crossing his arms against my window frame, his face uncomfortably close to mine. “I need my car for work in the morning. Unless you plan to be my personal chauffeur?” The corner of his lips turns up in amusement.

  “Fine. Give me your keys then.” I hold my hand out in front of him. “You can’t drive like this.”

  He chuckles and dangles the keys in my face. “I don’t think you can handle it.”

  I groan. “You’re such a child.”

  “That’s not what you were saying earlier.”

  “If I can handle you, I can handle your precious car,” I say, snatching the keys out of his hand. I roll up the window and slam my car door shut before locking it. I don’t wait for him before I head toward his car. I unlock the Challenger and climb inside the driver’s seat as he slips into the passenger seat.

  “Buckle your seat belt. I won’t be held responsible if the Travis King gets a boo-boo.” I shake my head and push down the clutch before I snap it into first. It’s a smooth takeoff, and before I know it, I’m going over sixty. The engine screams for me to push it to its limits, but I don’t. I look in the rearview mirror and see the back seat and exhale deeply.

  “Viola, I’m sorry. I should’ve never treated you like that. I’m a fucking asshole. And when you say I don’t want you . . .”

  I pull into the driveway and shut off the engine. I hand him his keys and get out of the car. As much as I want to hear what he has to say, I know it’s better to leave it where it is. I walk into the house and kick my shoes off by the door. Travis walks in and takes off his suit jacket and throws it over the back of the couch.

  I should just let it go for now, walk away, and take the high road.

  But I can’t.

  “You know, Travis, that’s an apology I’ve been waiting on for years.” I walk to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. He stands in the doorway with his shirt completely unbuttoned. I force myself to look away from his abs and how his pants sit haphazardly on his hips.

  “For years?” He crosses his arms and studies me. “For what?” He looks genuinely confused, but that doesn’t surprise me.

  I roll my eyes at him and take a sip of water. I don’t even know if it’s worth mentioning anymore. As I try walking past him, he blocks me, and I’m forced to look at him.

  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Viola.”

  His features are hard, and he’s not letting me pass by him.

  “Don’t act stupid,” I state harshly. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. I was your pity friend, and I won’t allow myself to be that girl again…” His face tightens, and he clenches his jaw. The man is a human wall, blocking me from running away.

  “I don’t.”

  “Whatever.” I don’t have the strength for this argument right now. “Please let me by,” I bite out. I need to leave before the tears come. I don’t know how much longer I can hold them in.

  “Just wait a goddamn minute,” he demands. “When have I ever said I was your friend out of pity?” He’s dangerously close. I inhale his cologne, stirring up all my emotions.

  “My thirteenth birthday. You made it the worst one I’ve ever had. Thanks, asshole.”

  The emotions start to surface, so I try to walk past him again before he can respond, but he makes it impossible. “I never said—”

  I cut him off before he has a chance to deny it. “You were talking to Drew. You said I’d never be anything more than your best friend’s annoying little sister. I was a loner with no friends. That I only had my books and stupid characters, along with a lot of other shitty things. You took pity on me and only befriended me because you felt sorry for me.”

  “Viola…”

  “You broke my heart, Travis. I was only a kid, but I trusted you. I held out hope every single day that I’d get to see you, even if just in passing. You didn’t make me feel like a burden to have around. You made me feel special.” I close my eyes, holding the tears back.

  Realization sets in, his body tensing. “You were never a burden, Viola.” I hear the sincerity of his words, but I shake my head. I don’t want to hear it.

  “It’s one thing to hear those things from your big brother but hearing them come out of your mouth; I was destroyed.”

  “You have to know, I didn’t mean what I said, Viola. I would never think those things.”

  “You know, it’s funny, because even while I was listening, I kept holding out hope that maybe just maybe you were pulling some stupid birthday prank on me.”

  His shoulders relax as he lowers and shakes his head in disbelief. “That’s why you cut me out of your life? You overheard Drew and me.”

  “What was I supposed to do? I was practically in love with you, and you’d just confessed your true feelings for me. I felt like an idiot.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Say anything?” I repeat. “I was humiliated! Here I was, coming to find you so I could thank you for the gift when I hear you say it was all out of pity. After that it was as if you purposely flaunted every girl you were with, just to prove your point and dig the knife deeper.” My heart pumps louder in my chest, adrenaline rushing through my veins, as I relive the memories. “Everything I thought I’d felt between us was shattered. I was devastated.”

  He rubs his fingers over the stubble that runs the length of his jaw. His lips are in a firm line, and as much as I’m trying to read him, nothing prepares me for what he says next.

  “You were devastated?” His deep tone takes me off guard, his eyes narrowing in on me. “I was fucking wrecked, Viola. You ruined me.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I never pitied you, Viola. Ever. You’re the main reason I was over all the damn time. How didn’t you see that?”

  “Well, the flock of girls around you didn’t really give me that impression.”

  “You should’ve known me better than that to know I’d never mean those words. Drew and a few other guys kept cracking jokes about you and were giving me shit for hanging out with you all the time, and I just wanted to shut them up. Drew teased you behind your back every chance he could and so I said the only thing I could think of to shut him up.”

  “They sounded real to me,” I say, not quite sure how I feel about his confession.

  “So, after everything we’d been through, it was just that easy to drop me?” he asks, hurt evident in his tone. “Was that it?”

  “Are you kidding me right now? I cried myself to sleep for months! I missed you so goddamn much, all while hating your guts. My emotions were all over the place, and then when I started high school, you were
all my friends talked about. It was torture.”

  “I tried to get your attention, Viola,” he growls, his lips dangerously close. “You ignored me anytime I tried to talk to you. You walked away as if I’d meant nothing to you at all. You looked at me as if I was the most disgusting person in the world. That destroyed me.”

  His words hit me like a brick, and I can’t breathe. “I didn’t want to hear your excuses after that.”

  “Was our friendship not strong enough for you to even consider giving me the opportunity to make things right again?” His jaw tightens, and I can see the vein in his throat bulging.

  “I already felt like a pathetic loser. I wasn’t about to confront you about what I overheard. I didn’t want to be anyone’s pity friend.”

  He shakes his head, pinching the back of his neck. “How didn’t you see, Viola? How didn’t you see how special you were to me?” He shifts his body, fidgeting as he continues, “You were the only person who ever understood me.” He inhales a deep breath. “I never even told Drew about my father. You were the only one I ever told.”

  My mouth falls open at his honesty, and I’m lost in his words. My head is spinning, and my heart is betraying me.

  “I-I never knew that. I always assumed Drew knew.”

  He shakes his head, looking defeated.

  “Viola, I swear on my life that I never meant a word of what I said to Drew that day. I was a dumb kid, embarrassed for having a crush on his best friend’s sister, but I was never embarrassed by you. I was crazy about you.”

  My breath hitches as our eyes lock.

  “I’m still fucking crazy about you.” He takes a step closer toward me, trapping me between his hard chest and the wall, and wraps his hand around my neck, pulling my lips to his.

  His kiss is desperate and telling, heated and passionate, deep and soft.

  It’s everything.

  His other hand cups my face, and I completely lose myself in him, giving in to every breathless motion. All the pain and emotion are packed in this one kiss. It’s unlike any other kiss we’ve shared, and I can tell he notices, too.

  He leans his forehead against mine, pulling back just enough to catch his breath. “All those years of one-night stands and random hookups never meant anything. They were to numb the pain I’d felt from losing you.”

  I swallow, unable to fully absorb his words. I keep my eyes closed, afraid if I open them, tears will come falling down. His confession takes me completely off guard, and I want to melt into his arms right here.

  “Why didn’t you fight for me then? If you’re being honest about the way you felt, why didn’t you push me harder to ask me what was wrong? It was as if you’d just given up.”

  He sucks in a deep breath, shaking his head against mine. “I was scared.”

  “About what?”

  He takes a small step back, keeping his palm on my cheek and looking into my eyes. “I’d seen the way my father treated my mother for years. I was certain I’d be built the same way, and if we’d become closer, I’d eventually turn out like him. I started to convince myself that perhaps you hating me was for the best, so I’d never be able to hurt you. I didn’t know how to emotionally handle the way you just discarded our friendship, so anytime you shot daggers at me, I shot them right back to get some kind of reaction out of you, even if it was a negative one.”

  Tears well in my eyes. The thought of it hurts my heart. “You’re not your father,” I whisper. “You’ll never be your father, Travis.”

  He shrugs, not convinced. “I never wanted to get close enough to anyone to find out.” His words start clicking in my head, making sense of every little thing we fought about. He’s constantly on defense mode. He studies my expression and begins rubbing the pad of his thumb along my jawline. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did tonight. It was uncalled for and completely out of line. I have no excuse.”

  I’ve never seen Travis like this in my entire life. He looks so vulnerable and desperate for my forgiveness.

  His hands run through my hair and instinctively, I fall into his touch again.

  “I’m sorry, Viola. I’m so fucking sorry I said those words, that I hurt you, that I didn’t fight for our friendship. I was a coward and filled with teenage hormones I didn’t know how to control, and I took it out on you every chance I had.” He looks at me with so much sincerity, I can’t take my eyes off him. “I fucked up.”

  I’m in shock at how honest and sincere he’s being. I’ve imagined this scenario a hundred times in my head, never really believing it’d happen.

  “I think we both did,” I tell him honestly. “Hating you was the only way I could deal. It hurt too much.”

  “Plus, you’re too damn pretty to be so fucking mad all the time.” His lips curl up into a grin. The way he’s looking at me right now, saying all the words I’ve waited desperately to hear for years, is all so overwhelming.

  “Years of practice,” I quip, shrugging.

  He looks down at me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into his chest. His other hand reaches up and cradles my neck, pressing his lips gently against mine. “Viola,” he whispers and slightly pulls away so he can look into my eyes. His fingers slide down the side of my arm, and small bumps form on my skin. With his other hand, he traces my bottom lip that’s still swollen from being with him earlier. “You said I didn’t want you.” Before he speaks again, he pulls my bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. I gasp, and he lets go. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” His lips press against mine, and a small moan escapes from my mouth, begging him never to let me go again.

  Chapter 21

  Travis

  I wrap both arms around her, pulling her up until her legs wrap around me. I tighten my grip and kiss her senseless until I feel her relax and she kisses me back in the same heated passion. I walk us out of the kitchen and down the hall to my bedroom. Before I open the door, I get a bright idea and walk back to Drew’s room.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, breathing heavily. “I’m not doing it in my brother’s bed,” she states with a serious expression. “Or anywhere inside his bedroom.”

  I laugh and set her on top of Drew’s old desk. “Just making a pit stop.”

  I feel her eyes watching my every move as I dig through her bags. Once I find what I’m looking for, I palm it and walk back to Viola.

  She eyes it, not looking amused. “Are you serious?”

  With a smirk, I glance back down at the vibrator I once found in the shower. “One hundred percent.”

  I take her back into my room, wasting no time to strip her down and show her exactly what I’ve been dreaming about with her naughty little vibrator.

  I wake up sometime in the middle of the night with Viola asleep peacefully in my arms. Fuck, I wouldn’t be surprised if she sleeps until Friday with the way her body was begging for it over and over again. I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. The adrenaline high is too good to sleep through, and now looking over at her makes me want to relive it all over again. No matter what, I can’t seem to get enough of her.

  As carefully as possible, I slip my arm out from under her and slide out of the bed. I pull my boxer shorts up and look back down at her. I smile before covering her up and tiptoe to the door. If I didn’t have to piss so damn bad, I’d never let her go.

  Just as I’m washing my hands, I hear the front door slam shut. What the hell?

  Would she leave? Sneak out like a regretful one-night stand?

  But where the hell would she go?

  Thoughts are running through my head as I walk back into the hallway and toward the front of the house. I turn on a lamp and do a double take when I see Drew standing there.

  Oh, shit.

  “Hey, man!” he calls out, taking a step forward to give me a side-hug. “Sorry to wake you.”

  “No, it’s—” I cough to clear my throat, needing to buy time to think fast. “Fine. I was just grabbing something to drink.”

 
He releases me, and I take note of his bags on the floor next to his feet. “You’re back early.” I try to sound indifferent, but my heart is hammering in my chest as I think about Viola down the hall, wrapped in my sheets.

  He squeezes the back of his neck, and I see the tense look in his eyes. “Yeah, change of plans.”

  Looking up at me, I see it on his face. “What happened?” I ask, walking toward the kitchen, needing to keep the distance between him and who’s currently sleeping naked in my bed.

  “Mia kicked me out. One minute she was all over me, and the next?” He inhales deeply. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

  I fill a glass with water and hand it to him.

  “Did you two get into a fight or something?”

  He takes a large gulp and sets the glass down on the counter. He shrugs casually. “When aren’t we fighting?”

  “Well, more than usual then?” I inquire, grabbing a glass for myself.

  “Yeah, I mean, I guess. She started getting all weird, and when I called her out on it, she called me an insensitive asshole and told me to leave. It usually blows over in an hour, but tonight she threw all my shit out and told me to get the hell out.”

  “Damn,” I offer, taking a large drink. “Sorry, man.”

  He shrugs like it’s nothing, but I can see the pain written all over his face. “Whatever. I guess the space will be good for us, but damn, we’ve just spent most of her semester apart.”

  “You think she’s been seeing someone else?” I ask, prolonging the time before he walks down the hallway.

  He crosses his arms over his chest, and his eyes follow the length of the countertop. “Not sure. It’s possible, I guess. We’re apart more than we’re together.”

  I give him a sympathetic look, unsure of what else to say. I’m too distracted in my thoughts when I realize Drew’s walked over to where he left his bag and picks it up, hauling it over his shoulder.