Keep My Heart (Top Shelf Romance Book 7)

by Lex Martin

  He brushes a hand through his hair as his jaw clenches.

  “That’s what I thought.” I turn and reach for the door handle, but he stops me once again.

  “That’s not how it happened, Viola.”

  I roll my eyes and let out an amused chuckle. “Classic, Travis. Seriously.”

  “Stop being so damn stubborn for once,” he growls. “She kissed me, Viola. Not the other way around. I have zero interest in her.”

  I shake my head and narrow my eyes at him. “That doesn’t even make sense. Either you kissed, or you didn’t.”

  “Okay, yes, but I didn’t kiss her back. She threw up on her dress and ripped it off, so I had her lay in the back seat. That’s all that happened. I swear, Viola.”

  “So you’re telling me you two didn’t make out in your car? The same car we’ve been together in?”

  His head falls back, and he groans out in frustration. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “How could you not tell me? I said I didn’t need to hear the whole story because I trusted you, but I asked if anything had happened between you two and you said no. Now it looks like you had something to hide after all.”

  “Because it was nothing! She gave me a kiss I didn’t want, and now she’s all pissy because I rejected her. That’s the only reason she’s saying those things now.”

  “Even if she’s the one who kissed you and you pushed her away, that’s more than just nothing. Especially considering she’s your best friend’s girlfriend. That should’ve been something you told me. Now I stand here like an idiot, thinking you were being one hundred percent honest with me.”

  “Because it meant absolutely nothing to me! I didn’t want you to worry for no reason because I don’t want anything to do with her. I never have. I don’t care about her. You’re all I want, Viola.”

  “Well, then it’s a shame you gambled away my trust on someone who meant nothing to you.”

  “Don’t say that, Viola. Please. I would never hurt you.” He grabs my hand and secures it between both of his over his chest.

  “You already have, Travis.”

  “Viola, please.”

  Tears fall down my cheeks, and I don’t even have enough strength to wipe them away. “How can a relationship work if there’s no trust?” I ask, and he doesn’t answer. “It can’t.” I pull my hand back, and he reluctantly releases it.

  “I will do whatever it takes to gain your trust back, but I promise, you have nothing to worry about. The one-night stands, the girls, and guys’ nights out—I’m done with all that.”

  I shake my head and close my eyes. “It’s too late, Travis. I can’t do this again. I’ve given you my heart and have been in love with you for so long that I just can’t let you throw me away again.”

  “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that.” His voice is low, and when I look back up at him, I can see he’s crying, too.

  “And it’ll be the last.”

  “Viola…”

  I reach for the door and slide inside, shutting it behind me. He’s looking at me with his hands behind his head—his eyes red and swollen—and I can’t fight back the tears. I shift the car into reverse, and once I’m able, I shift again and watch him in my rearview mirror. He’s bent over, his knees supporting the weight of his hands as he shakes his head.

  My heart is lying in that driveway, shattered into a million pieces, and I’m not sure it’ll ever beat right again.

  Chapter 13

  Travis

  Viola’s graduation is tonight, and she hasn’t responded to any of my messages, calls, or emails. It’s been over a week. It’s killing me. I need her so fucking bad. It feels like I can’t breathe without her in my life. As much as it makes me sound like a pussy and an asshole, I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt this way before.

  After Viola had stormed out, Drew sent Mia home, and he’s barely looked at me since. The fact that he’s more pissed about me being with his sister than the situation with Mia says a lot about their relationship, but that doesn’t matter because she’s full of shit. She always has been. I’m pissed that I ever supported their toxic relationship because somehow it’s bled into and affected my own.

  On top of that, Alyssa has started coming around my office again, offering me her “services,” and it’s taken all of my willpower to calmly ask her to leave instead of kicking her ass out like I so badly want. I’m actually proud of myself for keeping my composure, considering my world is rocking on its axis.

  This week fucking blows.

  And fuck! I miss Viola.

  She should be here with this fucking dog and me. Gryff whines all night long, wakes me up at least three times to go outside, and barks at every car or person who goes by. The little fucker sleeps all day and then wants to play all damn night. I can’t even be mad at him for being so damn annoying because he reminds me of her. When I think about how much she loved him, it makes me smile. He even still smells like her, so when he climbs up on my bed and nuzzles his way under the covers, I wake up with her scent surrounding me, and it’s fucking torture.

  Not trying to be a crazy ex, but somehow seeming like one, I parked outside her dorm one night, hoping I’d catch her walking in or out, but she never did. I’m not sure what I would have said to her anyway, so it’s probably best she didn’t. I figure she’s probably staying with Courtney, but I don’t know where she lives, so I’m stuck begging over voicemail for her to return my calls. I’ve left so many messages that her voicemail eventually became too full to receive any more.

  I need her to let me explain, to tell her the whole truth and not Mia’s twisted version of the truth. She has every right to be mad at me, but I can’t bear the thought of her flying across the country without seeing or speaking with her first. So even though Drew has made his feelings loud and clear to me about coming to her ceremony tonight, he can’t stop me. Their family is coming, too, so it’s not like she’ll be able to deny my existence.

  I’m gone before he arrives home and find myself mindlessly driving around before I end up at the parking lot with a dozen red roses and a card. I scribble a note inside the card and will give it to her whether she wants it or not.

  So many smiling faces are walking into the auditorium, and I try really hard to play the part. A lump forms in my throat knowing I will see her for the first time in over a week. Over the years, I’ve given her a million reasons not to trust me, but this time, my innocence is so fucking tragic that Shakespeare could have written it.

  Right before the ceremony starts, I find a place to sit. The venue is crowded, and lots of people are holding signs for their loved ones. After the commencement speech, the announcer begins calling names by departments. My body goes rigid when I hear Viola Fisher followed by summa cum laude. Not that I ever doubted her, but she received the highest honors and I’m genuinely happy for her and so proud. The smile on her face grows, and the tears in her eyes form as she walks across that stage. She’s wanted this for so long, and now the time has come. I wouldn’t have missed this moment for the world.

  Hooting and hollering and sounds from air horns come from an opposite corner of the room, and I instantly spot Viola’s parents and Drew. And it fucking hurts not to be sitting with them. They’ve always been my second family, and now I’m the outcast.

  Viola sees them, raises her diploma with a fist pump, and walks back to her chair. On top of her graduation cap, I’m pretty sure it says Mischief Managed in golden letters. I can’t help but laugh at her Harry Potter nerdiness.

  The next name that strikes my attention is Courtney Bishop, magna cum laude. Holy shit, she’s a little nerd, too. Well, who would’ve guessed that? Courtney walks across the stage with her long blond hair in waves and big high heels, and she treats it like a catwalk. A bunch of high-pitched whistles ring out close to me, and I turn and see what must be her entire family. Most of the men are wearing cowboy hats, and the women’s hair is heaven high. I can’t help but chuckle.

  Once t
he students exit, I watch Viola glance around the room, as if she’s looking for someone. Me, maybe? I want to stand and yell her name, but I stop myself. The time begins to pass quicker, knowing I will see her face-to-face in a matter of minutes. I watch Drew and his dad make their way down the stairs, followed by Viola’s mom and stepdad. Though there are tons of people in the room, I keep my eyes on them, knowing Viola will be searching for them, too. I head outside where everyone is huddled, waiting for their loved ones, and when I turn the corner, I see her. Our eyes lock, and the smile on her face fades. It’s just the two of us in a sea of people, and all I want to do is kiss the fuck out of her. Instead, I tuck my lips inside my mouth and force my way through the crowd toward her. She gently shakes her head, giving me a silent warning, but I don’t care.

  Before I’m able to mutter a word, Drew steps up and hugs Viola, pretending I’m not there. Viola looks at him and looks at me, and it breaks my fucking heart that she’s in this situation, which was exactly what she was worried about. Apparently, I’m a liar and betrayed my best friend. It was never supposed to end this way.

  I hand her the roses and the card and give her a hug regardless of how stiff her body goes when I touch her. “Congrats, princess,” I whisper in her ear, before releasing her and walking away. As much as I want to hang around, leaving was the best thing I could do because her parents would force me to stay once they saw me. The last thing I’d ever want is to ruin her special day.

  By the time I get back to my car, and I’m out of the parking lot, I feel like a million pounds sits directly on my chest. If I had the ability to go back in time and tell her every detail from the night of the accident, I would, but we all know that only happens in the movies. Where’s a damn time-turner when you need one?

  I drive to the campus coffee shop and order one of those organic soy shit coffees and sit at a secluded table away from the dude reading poetry about broken hearts. Regardless of how lost I feel at the moment, I still find myself rolling my eyes. Each time the bell above the door rings out, I look up, hoping it’s Viola. After an hour passes, I drive back to the house, go to my room, and shut the door.

  Gryff is so happy to see me, and I feel bad for pushing him away. I lie on my bed, turn on the TV, and he tucks himself beside me.

  “It’s just you and me, buddy,” I say as I pet his little head. “But she’ll be back.”

  I’m a big ball of emotions. Between all the changes in my life, graduation, moving, and the breakup, I’m a mess. In the past ten days, I’ve felt every emotion that exists as if I’m checking them off a master list. At first, I was hurt, distraught, and upset, which transformed into me being livid about the entire situation. Then I wanted to pull a Courtney and go all crazy ex-girlfriend on his ass. His new Challenger almost got a dozen eggs cracked across its shiny black paint, but instead, I kept my distance. It was the best thing for me to do. I avoided Drew’s house like the plague and even did laundry at Courtney’s this week. But I miss my routine and poor little Gryff.

  Drew hasn’t been able to look me in the eye, and I’m just as pissed at him as he is at me. I want to strangle him. And I’ve already warned him that if he even mentions Mia’s name around me, he better call for backup because his police buddies are the only ones that’ll be able to save him. She’s a liar and a cheater, and she’s full of misery. I will no longer sit by and take it. He barely acknowledges my existence, and I won’t accept Mia and him, so we’re at an impasse.

  After graduation, our parents take us to dinner, and it’s awkward as hell. Afterward, I drive Drew back to his truck, and we exchange a few sentences with one another, but that’s it. I hate that he’s pissed at Travis and me, but what I hate even more is his stubbornness about the whole situation. As I pull up to his truck, he turns and looks at me, but I speak first.

  “Are you going to keep acting like a big ole baby until I leave?” I ask him directly.

  He rolls his eyes at me. “My best friend, Viola. Why?” The hurt in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed, and guilt washes over me again. It’s a dirty sensation.

  “Please don’t be mad at me. It’s killing me to know you’re throwing away your relationship with me and your best friend.”

  “I don’t hate you, Vi. I’m just agitated. I realize you’re leaving. You’re growing up, and I won’t be around to protect you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for Travis, too. But you both felt the need to lie to me. Two people I trusted with my life both snuck around behind my back together and betrayed me. I should’ve realized it when you got that fucking puppy.” He shakes his head with an aggravated sigh.

  Low blow. Gryff was a thank-you gift, but I won’t correct him right now. It’s the first time he’s admitted any of that, and I hate that it’s come to this—that he’s hurting because of our actions. It’s everything I wanted to avoid in the first place, but I know my actions have consequences.

  “I’m not a little girl anymore, Drew,” I say when he finally looks up at me. “Just so you know, Travis wanted to tell you right away, but I asked him not to because I wanted the timing to be right.” I let out a sarcastic laugh as if the timing would ever be right.

  He shrugs, unaffected. “He broke the bro code on so many levels, Vi. You don’t mess around with your friend’s sister behind their back—no exceptions,” he states firmly.

  “I know. But you won’t have to worry about it again because I’m leaving anyway. Everything I love will be in Cali, and I’ll be thousands of miles away. I’m sorry. With graduation and the internship, I was busy focusing on that.” My eyes begin to water, and I’m allowing my emotions to slip again. I wipe a tear that streams down my face and try to compose myself.

  “It was a lot for me to deal with. So, please, if you’re going to be pissed at someone for not knowing, direct your anger toward me. As much as I want to blame him, it’s not Travis’s fault. I never wanted or intended to hurt you, Drew. You’re my big brother. My hero. One of my best friends, and as much as you piss me off, I love you. I’m really sorry it happened this way, but I can’t be sorry it happened, even if it was a big mistake.”

  Drew sits there for a second, looking straight out the window as if he’s absorbing all of my words. He lets out a sigh and then a small chuckle. “You’re still a nerdy little brat; you know that?”

  “And you’re going to miss me when I’m gone. Are we okay?”

  “I forgive you this once, but only because we’re family, and Mom says I have to like you.” Drew jokes just like he used to when we were younger. I let out a sigh, knowing we’re going to be okay. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and as he pulls it out, I glance down and see Mia’s calling.

  “I’ll see you later, sis.” He gets out and answers it immediately.

  Even after all the trouble she’s started, Mia still has this hold over him. I wish he could see through the bullshit, but perspective is everything, and I can’t be a hypocrite.

  Before I put the car in drive, I catch the sweet smell of the roses Travis gave me. Though he shouldn’t have, I’m glad he was there to acknowledge the accomplishment. It meant a lot, but I don’t have the words to tell him that yet. My heart still hurts, and I’m still learning to push all of the memories we spent together to the side. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but a part of me prays that distance will help me forget.

  I reach in the back seat for the red envelope. The front has a couple kissing in color while the rest of the image is in black and white. Inside, the card is blank, but in all uppercase letters, he wrote: CONGRATULATIONS, PRINCESS! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! GRYFF & I LOVE YOU!

  Below that is a note in his signature scribble handwriting. I still plan on driving you to the airport so I can see you one last time before you leave. I miss you. I miss us.

  For a moment, I close my eyes and can smell the hint of his cologne on the card.

  I peel my eyes open and study it for a moment longer before shoving it back into the envelo
pe and setting it in my middle console.

  Thinking about his written message, I feel torn. We’d planned on him taking me so that we could spend those last moments together, but now I’m second-guessing that plan. I’m afraid I won’t want to leave if I see him again. Maybe a clean break is what we both need.

  As soon as I pull up to my dorm, I get a text from Courtney.

  Courtney: Drinks tonight?

  Viola: How about I watch you drink? I’m not in the mood. I have to start packing.

  Courtney: DEAL! Be there in an hour, after I ditch my family.

  I walk inside with the roses and card. I place the flowers in a vase and lean against the counter and look around at everything I’m leaving. After a few more minutes, I go to my room to make sure I didn’t forget to pack anything. The few boxes stacked against the wall will be shipped to my new apartment on Monday. Other than a few more books and clothes, everything is ready to go. But it’s easy moving when most of the furniture is screwed to the wall and floor.

  It’s funny how time seems to crawl by, but then in a blink of an eye, it’s like years have passed. College has been my life for the last four years, and it’s bittersweet to be leaving, to be opening a new chapter in my life.

  A pound on the door lets me know Courtney has arrived, and I can’t help but shake my head as I rush to the door. When I open it, she’s still wearing the tight little black dress she had on under her graduation gown and high heels that make her tower over me.

  “Well, come on, I need a stiff drink after dealing with the Beverly Hillbillies. Oh, you didn’t know they came from Texas to California?”

  I laugh. “I’m sure they’re not that bad.”

  She playfully rolls her eyes and steps inside, noticing the flowers on the counter. “Oh my God. You got roses? Seriously? From who?”