“We miss her, too,” Amos said. “She smelled like flowers, and spring.” He crinkled his nose. “Not in the beginning of spring, when it smells yucky like all the bad stuff that shows when the snow melts, but when it’s all gone, and the flowers come.”
Nellie smiled. “That’s a nice smell. I can see why you like it. I would miss it, too.”
Amos nodded sagely, like he held all the wisdom of the ages, and then some. “You smell like cimanonin...no, cimanon...er...” He looked up at her for an answer.
“Cinnamon.” Nellie couldn’t help but look on the boy with affection. “I like cinnamon.”
“I do, too,” Amos said. “Especially on the oatmeal you make us for breakfast. I miss our mama, but I like you, too.”
He hugged her, and for the second time that evening, Nellie felt her eyes fill with tears. Especially as Maeve, who probably didn’t understand any of what was going on, wrapped her arms around Nellie, as well.
Amos gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I know it’s not time for mistletoe yet, and we don’t have any, but this feels like when we all would kiss and hug under the mistletoe.”
She kissed him back, then planted a kiss on top of Maeve’s head. “We don’t need mistletoe to hug and kiss. We can do it whenever we want.”
Then Amos turned his gaze to Luke. “Papa, we don’t have to get mistletoe this year if it makes you and Ruby sad. We have Nellie, and she’s enough for me.”
Even if things never changed with Luke and Ruby, Nellie could never leave this sweet child and his equally sweet sister. Amos and Maeve, while not her children in the usual sense, filled her heart with so much love, she couldn’t imagine feeling anything deeper.
Nellie held the children close to her, then gave them a final squeeze. “I think it must be getting close to bedtime. Why don’t you go get ready for bed and help your sister do the same, then we’ll have one final hug and kiss?”
“All right.” Amos grinned and turned to scamper off, but then he stopped. “Will you tuck us in tonight?”
Everyone knew how terrified Nellie was of climbing that ladder. Well, the climbing wasn’t so bad, it was the going down. But if that was what Amos wanted...
“Not tonight,” Luke answered for her. “Nellie and I are going to sit by the fire, have a cup of tea and talk about Christmas.”
The light shining in Amos’s eyes made Nellie’s heart even more full. But beyond that was the way Luke looked at her. With hope, promise and the same kind of recognition she’d seen in him when they’d first met. All night, she’d seen signs of this slight change in him, and now she was beginning to believe it was actually happening. They just might be able to talk and get to a place where things weren’t so awkward and strange between them.
Nellie watched as Amos gently helped Maeve wash her hands and face. When Nellie had first come, the children had been horrified at how often Nellie asked them to wash up. But she believed that keeping clean was the best way to stay healthy, and now even Amos, who would be happy if he never washed, took to the task without complaint.
“You’ve taught them well,” Luke said, coming to stand beside her. “Ruby might be a challenge, but it seems like Amos and Maeve have taken to you.”
Turning to look at him, Nellie smiled. “They have, and I’m so grateful for that. I can’t begin to thank you for the joy they’ve brought to my life.”
“And I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for my home and family. I find...” Luke paused, then he turned his gaze out the window.
Snow had begun falling, and Nellie could barely make it out in the dark, highlighted by the lights in the street. The streetlights were a luxury most towns didn’t have, and Nellie could see why Luke was so quick to point out that while Leadville was full of wealth, tiny cabins like their own peeked out from behind the mansions. Maybe that sounded wrong to some, but to Nellie, when the two children were running up to her to give her a final hug and kiss good-night, she couldn’t imagine living in a more perfect place.
“Tiss, Newwie!” Maeve tugged at her skirts, and Nellie picked up the little girl, then gave her a kiss. Maeve responded with a slobbery baby kiss Nellie was tempted to wipe off but found she didn’t have the heart to.
Maeve reached for Luke. “Tiss, Papa!”
Luke took Maeve out of her arms and rewarded his daughter with a hug and a kiss. Nellie didn’t get much of a chance to enjoy the moment between father and daughter because Amos had wrapped his arms around her legs.
Nellie bent to give the little boy a hug and a kiss, and she breathed in the warm scent of the freshly washed child. With a pang, she wished Ruby could be a part of this, but she knew it had to come in Ruby’s time. They could force her to behave, but Nellie wasn’t going to force affection. Perhaps it would be best not to have mistletoe this year.
“Good night, Nellie,” Amos said, giving her a final squeeze.
“Good night, Amos.”
Luke set Maeve down, then kissed and hugged his son. The children giggled as they made their way across the room, up the ladder and into the loft.
“I’d like some tea, if it’s not too much trouble,” Luke said once the children had disappeared from view.
“Of course. I have a nice blend of herbs that I came up with to help with sleep, if you’d like to try it.”
“That sounds fine.”
It was a polite answer, but there was something more intimate in Luke’s tone than Nellie had heard from him before. As she made the tea, she could see that he’d moved the chairs closer to the fire.
“It’s already getting chilly in here,” he said, sounding thoughtful. “The storm has barely begun, but by the looks of things, we’re in for quite a lot of snow.”
Nellie looked out the window. “Looks like there’s already at least an inch or so. But we’ll be fine. We have plenty of wood, plenty of food and good company.”
She didn’t know why she added the part about good company, except that when she turned to look at Luke, she was pleased to see he had a smile on his face.
“I found a deal on a new stove. Some people are renting the Carmichael place, but they wanted a bigger stove. Ed offered to sell me the one already in there at a fair price. I have enough saved to cover it.” Then he let out a long sigh. “I just hate to use our savings.”
Nellie took the kettle that she kept on the stove and filled the teapot. “That would be nice, but don’t feel obligated on my account.”
“Honestly, I feel more obligated continuing to use the Fitzgeralds’ stove all the time. They give us so much, and I hate that we’re taking advantage of their hospitality.”
Luke moved the small end table from the other room so Nellie could set the tea things on it. She also set out a few cookies she’d saved from the baking she’d done with Myrna.
“I wish you wouldn’t feel like we were taking advantage. Yes, it is inconvenient to go across the alley to cook, but their friendship means so much to me. Myrna has often commented on how she loves having me and Maeve over. She quite despairs of Ellen ever getting married, since Ellen has now decided to become a schoolteacher. For Myrna, it’s like having the extended family she’s always wanted.”
Luke gave her a smile as he sat in his chair. “Seamus says the same thing, but I was afraid he was just being polite.”
“Seamus doesn’t strike me as the sort to mince words. I can’t see him telling you that just to be polite.” Nellie poured him a cup of tea. “Besides, this has been the arrangement since long before I got here.”
He took a tentative sip of the tea, then gave Nellie a satisfied look. “This is very good.”
“Thanks. Myrna had some dried herbs that a friend had given her, and she didn’t know what to do with them, so I showed her how to blend them into a tea. She liked it so much that she’s been having other ladies at church try it
, and they’ve been having me make some blends for them, as well. It made me think about doing some for us, and well, here we are.”
“You have a real gift in the kitchen.” Luke reached for one of the cookies Nellie had brought over. “I assume these have cinnamon in them?”
“Thank you. And yes, they do. I will admit to being rather liberal in my use of cinnamon. I hope you don’t mind.”
Luke leaned over and reached for Nellie’s hand. “I hope we get to the point in our relationship that you stop saying that. If I minded, I would say so.”
The look he gave her brought a strange sensation to Nellie’s stomach. So warm, tender and... She shook her head. Those were dangerous thoughts. He might be her husband, but she couldn’t allow herself to be attracted to him. It was all this flattery. She wasn’t used to such things. Not from a man. Not from her husband.
“I’ll try,” Nellie said, looking away.
Luke made a noise, as if he had something to say but thought better of it. That sort of thing had been bothering Nellie about their relationship, but right now it felt like a safer choice. How could she admit to him that sometimes, when he looked at her a certain way, she felt like a schoolgirl in the throes of an infatuation?
It would pass, just like those schoolgirl dreams and silly flights of fancy. Luke wouldn’t have that effect on her—someday.
Unfortunately, when Nellie looked away, she hadn’t taken her hand from his. She felt the pull of his grasp, asking her to come back to him.
“I’m sorry I haven’t made more of an effort to spend time with you and work on our relationship,” Luke said when she finally brought her gaze back to him.
“It’s all right.” Nellie took a sip of tea to mask the fact that she didn’t really know what else to say. Especially when those blue eyes seemed so full of sincerity...and something else.
But what? Luke reminded her often enough that he’d buried his heart with Diana. So what could he feel for Nellie when he couldn’t love her as a man loved a wife?
Luke looked nervous, like he, too, didn’t quite know what to say. Only in Luke’s case, he seemed to have something on his mind.
“I’ve kept you at a distance,” Luke continued, his gaze still firmly on her. “And that hasn’t been fair to you. When I was talking with Ruby earlier, asking her to give you a chance, I realized that in some ways, I’m not giving you a chance, either. Can you forgive me?”
Nellie took a deep breath. She hadn’t expected this from him. One of the reasons she’d accepted Luke’s marriage offer was his seeming honesty, even when it would have been better to be less forthright. Until this admission, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed that in him.
“Yes,” Nellie said, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know it’s hard for you, missing Diana, and I’ve tried to give you your space.”
A strange expression crossed Luke’s face. “I appreciate that. I suppose I don’t know where to draw the line. Ruby’s behavior, even with how much she misses her mother, is not acceptable. And there are times I know I am not as...open...to you also, but I find I don’t know how to handle this as well as I thought I did.”
His brow had furrowed, and Nellie realized that he had, indeed, been struggling with the balance between honoring his dead wife and moving on with his life.
“You’ve never been rude or unkind to me, if that helps.” Nellie gave him what she hoped was an encouraging look.
“It does.” A sort of half smile twisted his lips. “But I feel like I owe you so much more.”
He leaned into her, and for a moment, Nellie thought Luke might be trying to kiss her. But a clatter behind them made them both jump, and when Nellie turned to see the source of the noise, she saw Ruby standing there, a murderous expression on her face.
“Maeve is fussing, and I can’t sleep.” She glared at Nellie like it was all her fault. In Ruby’s mind, it probably was.
“I’ll come up,” Luke said. “See if I can get her settled. Thanks for letting us know.”
“Why don’t you bring her down to me?” Nellie turned her gaze back on Luke. “You’ve got work in the morning, and you need your sleep.”
“Thanks. That sounds good.”
It wasn’t until Luke started up the stairs that Nellie felt the weight of Ruby’s stare leave her back. What had Nellie done this time to upset Ruby? Surely Maeve’s fussing wasn’t enough of a crime to warrant such anger.
But as Luke gave Nellie a tender glance before starting up the ladder, she understood. Ruby had caught part of the exchange between her and Luke, and she, too, had probably thought Luke was going to kiss Nellie.
The flutter in her stomach that she’d been trying to ignore returned and grew to her heart.
What if Luke had kissed her?
Before Nellie could even begin to address that thought, she heard Ruby stomp across the floor and up the stairs. Luke quickly came down after Ruby had gone up, Maeve in his arms.
“She’s quite warm,” he said. “No wonder she’s fussing.”
Nellie took the little girl out of his arms. “I’ve got some herbs that will help. You get some sleep. I’ll take care of her.”
Worry creased his brow as he looked down at her. “Are you sure? Should I call the doctor instead?”
The wind howled as if to answer his question.
Nellie pressed a kiss to the top of Maeve’s head. “It’s going to be all right, Maevey.”
“Newwie.” Tears rolled down Maeve’s cheeks.
“It’s not safe for you, or the doctor, to be out in this weather. But she’s got tears, which is actually a good sign. I’ve treated many a sick person, and I’m not worried. Get some rest.”
Luke looked at her doubtfully. “We’ve always called the doctor when the children are sick. Or Myrna.”
She put her hand on Luke’s arm. “I know what I’m doing. But if she gets any worse, I’ll wake you and you can get Myrna. Maeve is going to be fine.”
Luke looked like he was going to argue, but Nellie gave him another squeeze. “Get some sleep. If Maeve is truly ill, then I will need you to be well rested to help take care of her. The best thing you can do for your daughter is go to bed.”
Finally, he nodded. Then he bent and kissed Maeve on her forehead. “Feel better, Maevey. Papa loves you.”
Maeve lifted her head slightly. “I wuv you, too.”
As Luke went up the ladder, Nellie carried Maeve over to where she’d just been sitting by the fire. The tea had cooled enough that Maeve would be able to drink it, and Nellie was pleased to see that the little girl drank quite a bit. The herbs would also help fight whatever was making Maeve sick.
But then Maeve emptied the contents of her stomach all over Nellie, and Nellie knew they were in for a long night.
Chapter Nine
“Where is my breakfast?”
The angry tone jolted Nellie from what had been a sound sleep. She’d barely drifted off, or so it felt, when she looked up to see Ruby standing above her.
Nellie started to stretch, then felt Maeve beside her. She touched the back of her hand to Maeve’s forehead. Thankfully, it was cool.
“I was up all night with your sister. You might recall coming down to let us know she was sick.”
Ruby continued to glare at her.
“There are some leftover biscuits on the shelf, and some preserves. That will do for your breakfast.”
Maeve whimpered in her sleep, and Nellie smoothed her hand over the little girl’s hair to comfort her. Maeve snuggled closer to Nellie.
“She’s not going to remember our mother, thanks to you.”
Nellie closed her eyes and said a quick silent prayer for patience. Maeve was ill, but all Ruby could think of was how it somehow violated their mother’s memory.
A few deep bre
aths settled her nerves, then Nellie looked up at Ruby. “And that is where you come in. You will share things about your mother with your sister, and you’ll help me by making sure we preserve the traditions that your mother started. But you have to stop seeing me as the enemy, and start seeing me as an ally in keeping your mother’s memory alive.”
Hard footfalls sounded, and Nellie saw Luke standing behind Ruby.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?”
Luke nodded. “I saw you were both sleeping peacefully when I woke, but I couldn’t stay focused without knowing Maeve was all right. I took the rest of the day off to help with her.”
“I think she’s better,” Nellie said. “At least, her fever is gone and she’s sleeping peacefully.”
The lines on Luke’s brow eased slightly as he turned to Ruby. “I heard what you said to Nellie. That wasn’t very nice. Now, I need you to do as Nellie suggested, and get some biscuits for you and your brother. You have to leave for school soon.”
Then Luke looked around the room. “Where is Amos?”
Amos staggered into the room, still in his nightclothes, his face flushed. “I don’t feel so good.”
Nellie sighed as she struggled to get out of bed. “Get him a basin. He’s probably going to be sick to his stomach soon. If you wouldn’t mind getting him some blankets, we can put him on a pallet in the main room. It’ll be easier than going up and down the ladder.”
Luke gave her a funny look as she swung her legs out of the covers. “What are you wearing?”
She looked down at her clothes. “Oh. Maeve was sick all over me, so I had to change dresses, but she was fussy and wouldn’t let me go. I ended up putting on a blouse that was easier than the one that matched this skirt.”
“Are you sure we don’t need a doctor?” The lines returned to Luke’s brow.
“If it would make you feel better. But I’m fairly certain it’s just a run-of-the-mill bug that will work itself out in time.”
Amos’s face suddenly looked pale. Nellie gestured at Luke. “Your son needs to get to a basin now.”
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