by Jana LaPelle
“To hell with caution,” I throw myself into his arms, my lips crashing down on his and he wraps me up in his strong arms and for the first time in my adult life, I feel as if I’ve come home. His lips capture my own as he takes the lead and deepens the kiss. Instantly, a spark flares to life, the same spark that has been hovering below the surface since we met. As our kiss deepens, my body reacts and oh my freakin’ goodness. My demon boy can kiss, not that I’ve had much experience in this arena but, damn. I know on a fundamental level that I can never let him go. He is mine and I am his.
16
Surrendering My Heart
(Daxell)
Irealized in mere moments that I would never be able to let her go. Not now. Not ever. How the hell am I supposed to protect her now? Protect her from me, from my demon? From The Underworld? As the implication shudders through me I pull her closer. Needing to feel her decadent body in my arms. At some point, we ended up wrapped around one another lying close to the pool of water beside us. Kissing LJ is like tasting heaven. As much as I want her, I’m still conflicted and so I gently pull away from her. I know that I need to put some distance between us, even though her every touch seduces me.
“LJ,” I breathe out. “We should stop.” I pull back, cupping her face in my hands, “By all that is holy, you are so beautiful to me, but I need to think.”
“Don’t you dare push me away.” She demands, her eyes full of fire and sass as she pulls back from me.
“I couldn’t, even if I tried.” I sigh. “This is so much bigger than me, than us. What we decide at this moment will affect so much more than just us.”
“I get that, but you and I? We’re meant to be. The sooner that you accept that, the better.” Sighing in exasperation, she pulls away. Shaking her head, she says, “You’re not ready. Not yet. I get it. I’ll see you in the morning. Try to wrap your head around everything between now and then. I need you to have your head in the game when we leave out. If you can’t break the ties that bind you, let me know.” She pulls away and stands, turning her back on me. She walks back the way we came, her back stiff and defiant. Night has fallen and I have never felt so utterly alone in my life. I watch her walk away from me, back through the trees, and darkness swallows her up. For a moment I feel lost.
Hellfire and brimstone, I’m a fucking idiot.
I go about putting our uneaten dinner away. She was so looking forward to this meal and I ruined it for her. She brought me to one of her favorite places… and I ruined that as well. Isn’t this how it has to be? It’s best this way. So why does it feel so wrong? I take a few minutes to look around this place. The waterfall is not a large one but is soothing none the less. It’s dark here, not many lights in this area anymore so the night sky is alive with stars and a fantastic meteor shower is on full display. The night sky is the perfect dark background with tiny sparkling diamonds stealing the show. Slowly, I make my way back to the house. The lights are dim and I know that everyone has gone off to bed. This place is comfortable. Homey. I hate to admit it, but I like it here. Making my way back into the kitchen, I slowly go about putting our leftover food in the refrigerator. Then, spying a decanter of liquor, along with several wine bottles, I cross the space and pour a healthy two-finger pour of Irish whiskey adding a couple of ice cubes before settling back at the island in the kitchen to contemplate the turn of events tonight.
I hear quiet, bare feet pad my way on gleaming hardwood floors, and look up to see that Lachlan is standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his bare chest. He’s dressed in nothing more than a pair of soft cotton sleep pants that sit low on his hips. He watches me in silence as I sip my whiskey before walking into the room and grabbing a bottle of ale out of the refrigerator. Turning to me, he takes another moment to size me up before saying, “I’m not sure if I should admire you, or pity you.”
Shaking my head, I bite out, “I’m not in the fucking mood, Lachlan.”
He chuckles, “I get that…, demon spawn, but my sister is hurting and you’re the reason for her heartache. As much as I don’t like that there is a connection between the two of you, you owe it to yourself and to her to explore it.” He takes another swallow of his ale and looks at me. His eyes burning holes through my façade before announcing, “Hell, you may be demon-born but you’re not an altogether bad guy. As much as I hate to admit it.”
“So, is this you giving me your blessing to go make little demon babies with your sister?” My response is obnoxious and I know it.
“Fuck you, asshole! Don’t be such a fucking dick. If you respect her? You’ll either choose to walk away from her forever… or you’ll choose to explore your connection. I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but I hope you choose her.” He downs the remains of his ale and pins me with a look.
Sighing, I take another healthy swig of my whiskey and get up to pour another shot. Turning back, I say, “What if being with me, means that your sister is tied to The Underworld for half a year? What then? Would you still feel the same way?” I demand as I toss back the liquor in my glass, staring out into the dark night, not wanting to see his reaction.
Lachlan laughs, “Seriously? You two really need to talk more. She still hasn’t figured it out yet, but she’s already drawn to The Underworld. The two of us were born a pair. A Keeper and a Guardian, the firstborn pair, the firstborn god and goddess and we are… Retribution. As long as we remain a pair, but that was always destined to change once we found our soulmates, our kindred partner. We will always be tied to the four main realms.” Sighing he looks over at me, “I’ve said too much. Lillie must find her place. On her own.”
“Retribution,” I sigh. “Not LJ, she’s too kind, too pure.”
“How else would you envision Retribution, Daxell?” Lachlan prods, planting the seed of what he believes to be true for me to contemplate.
“Are you sure, Lachlan?” My words are a mere whisper as I speak them, but everything is beginning to click into place.
“Yeah. I’ve known for a while now. She has not clued in yet. Maybe she is just in denial. All I know is that my place by her side will change as soon as she finds her mate, her kindred. I think that is you. Then my purpose will change.” He stares down at the empty bottle in his hands.
“What do you mean, your purpose will change?”
“Exactly that. If you accept your place beside my sister then she will no longer need me as her guardian and I will have to find a new path, a new purpose.”
“So, I would become her guardian? Man, this is messed up.” I announce, scrubbing my hand over my face, my day-old beard rasping under my fingers.
“Yeah, well, I always knew that there would come a day when our paths would diverge and I always knew that Lillie would take a more difficult path. Believe it or not, she is very well equipped for this role. It all makes sense to me now. I’m not even sure at what point that I began to understand how our paths would separate, but it’s always been there waiting for me to grasp the idea of it. I was pissed earlier when I realized what you were, but it’s genius really.”
“You’re speaking as if this thing between LJ and me is a done deal. I’m trying to step back here, trying to protect her from me and The Underworld.” Just saying it out loud leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I toss back the last of the whiskey in my glass.
Lachlan chuckles, and thumps my back, “You two are like two peas in a pod, both in denial. You think you can walk away now? This is bigger than just the two of you. This is the Creator’s divine plan and we all have a part to play, including you too, demon spawn.”
“So? Are you trying to say that I don’t have a say in my life and the path that I choose?” Anger is simmering just below the surface at the implication. “What are you implying?” I demand, “That I don’t have a choice?”
“Everyone has a choice, Daxell. What will you choose?”
“I choose to protect her!” My ire is cutting and I direct it at Lachlan.
He chuckles, “Then you c
hoose to be her guardian.”
I growl, “If that’s the only way to protect her … then yes. I will become her guardian.”
Lachlan laughs low and deep, “Damn, you’re intense, loosen up a bit. All things considered, Lillie will need that in what is to come. I feel better about stepping down from my post as her guardian knowing that you and your demon will be there to protect her. Not that she needs protecting, you will soon find out just how capable she is on your own. Our parents have seen to our training from an early age. Now that we’ve had this little conversation, I think its time I get my happy ass in bed. Believe it or not, you may not think this is a good thing, but once you fully give into the bond between you, I think that you will settle in and embrace it.”
“How is it that you are so fully on board with me being with your sister when just hours earlier you were ready to beat me to a bloody pulp or die trying?” I question, watching him closely.
“Lillie was right. She always is, but don’t tell her I said that. I was only seeing a part of who you are when your demon presented itself. I think we came to an understanding earlier, that, and seeing you with her has made a difference. I think that you’re a good guy. I still worry about what is to come for the two of you and the hurdles you will have to overcome as a couple, mixing the bloodlines and all, but I have faith in our creator in the path that we have chosen. More importantly, I have faith in my sister.”
Six words stand out and I have to ask, needing to know more, “What do you mean the path that you and she have chosen?”
Sighing, Lachlin runs his hands over the almost day old scruff on his face, the scratching noise breaking the silence of the night that has covered us. He gestures to my drink, “Do you want another? This may take a while longer than I thought.” I refill my drink, and he grabs another from the fridge before he continues, leaning on the granite counter across from me, “I’ll need to start from the beginning. Evidently, my mother was originally created by our Creator. She was born from angel fire in The Overworld. She, like Lucifer, was born with a sibling. Lucifer’s brother born is Micheal and our mother’s sister born is Morríganna. After Lucifer fell, along with the original Fallen, our Father sent some of his hand-picked angelic warriors to become the gods and goddesses of The Mortal Realm and The Otherworld. At some point, after Morríganna chose to become a goddess and leave her sister behind, it became clear that she would become The Phantom Queen. That she would continue walking down a path that would be disastrous for the realms. At that point, my mother and her Creator, cooked up a plan that included her giving up her angelic form to be born when the time was right to challenge her sister. Our mother has no recollection of the actual plan but somehow or another, my sister and I signed up to help her overcome Morríganna and her twisted plans for the realms. We agreed to be her firstborn to challenge The Morrígna and save the Tree of Life. We chose to give up our memories in order to complete our mission, or that’s what we think. We have yet to ascend to our rightful place, but we’re close.”
“What if my being with LJ hinders her ascension?” I take another swallow of the Irish whiskey in my hands.
“All joking and kidding aside, this feels right. I think she’s right. This is meant to be. She will not ascend until you take your rightful place by her side.”
“So that’s it? You’re good with our being together?”
“Yes, but you should know if you ever hurt her intentionally or in malice? I will gut you and hang your entrails out for the vultures to gorge on. Do you understand me?”
His threat is full of promise and I chuckle and nod, “I got you. Thanks for the talk … for bringing me up to speed. I still find it hard to believe that our Creator would pair a demon-born with a soul that was angelic-born.”
Lachlan laughs, “Dude. You have no idea. He is full of controversy and not at all what you would expect. He wears jeans and tee-shirts and walks around barefoot. Getting back to my sister, Lillie has always been so serious. When she realized that she was tasked with transporting more souls to The Underworld than The Overworld it had a profound effect on her. She has been struggling ever since. Until she met you.”
Sighing, I take another large gulp of my drink, “I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or not.”
Lachlan laughs and takes the last swig of his ale, “Goodnight, demon. Tomorrow is another day.” He places his third bottle of ale on the counter in front of me and makes his way to the stairs in the front of the house. I watch as his form is swallowed in darkness and I sit back to think on what LJ’s brother revealed. From the corner of my right eye, I see LJ emerge from the murky shadows of the sitting room off of the kitchen.
She assesses me, before saying, “Hey.”
I smile at her greeting, “How long have you been standing there? I figured you were asleep.”
She smiles back tentatively, “Not that long really. I couldn’t sleep, but I didn’t want to disturb the two of you either. I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, well it is your house. Do you want a drink?”
She grins, “Maybe.” Her facial expression becomes more serious, “Are you okay? Lachlan unloaded a lot on you.”
I nod, “Yeah, I think so.” I slide her a bottle of water across the counter.
“You know … if you want to walk away from all this craziness, I get it. I will totally understand.”
I turn to her and pull her to me, holding her close, and whisper, “Not on your life. I know that I’ve struggled to accept this pull that I feel to you, but I’m here now, talking with your brother helped. I want you, LJ. I need you in my life. What doesn’t make sense to me is that you would need me in your life. You’re perfect, and angelic even.”
“Not anymore. That boat has sailed. I need you. Everything in me is screaming that I can’t do this without you. It’s only been a few days, but you feel like a permanent fixture in my life and I like it.” She leans into me and pulls me close laying her head on my chest.
Nodding, I give in and let my guard down to let her in and say, “I’ve got you, little one. I know you’re right. You’re mine to protect, mine to love, and mine to hold, always.” I pull her close to me and nuzzle into her neck. For several minutes we just stand there holding one another. Swallowing thickly, I realize for the first time in my life that I have someone important to protect. Someone who needs me and I have no idea where to go from here. I pull back and ask, “What now, honey cheeks? You’re stuck with me now. Do you think you can handle all of this?”
She snorts, “You have a mighty high opinion of yourself there, demon boy. All kidding aside, we have to go to check out Mammon’s casino tomorrow.”
“Then maybe we should get some shut-eye?”
“Yeah, I think you’re right. We need to be ready for whatever happens tomorrow. Are your parents still there? I would love to meet them.”
“Well, my mother is just going to adore you. Come on, honey cheeks, let’s head to bed. Tomorrow will be here before we know it.”
17
Feeling Conflicted
(Lillie Joanna)
Morning comes all too soon and with it the realization that Daxell and I have reached an understanding. I can’t help the thousand-watt smile that threatens to split my face in half as I stretch and yawn. For the first time in forever, I feel free. I feel… complete. Almost. What did Mama say about her and Da? They had to complete the bond. Well, we really don’t have time for that right now. Sighing, I roll over and hug Cara to me. Her thick soft fur tickles my nose and I snuggle into her and hold her close. I sense that she’s confused but happy. Then I sense what she has. Lachlan’s tie to me is different. He’s … he’s pulling away to allow Dax to fill the role of my guardian, the role that my kindred will take and for a moment I still, not sure what to think.
Throwing my bed covers back, I launch myself into the hallway and raced to find my brother. I stumble down the stairs and into the kitchen before launching myself into his arms. I wra
p my arms around him and hold him close, sobbing into his neck. “I don’t want you to break our connection.”
Lachlan chuckles and holds me close, “As if. Lillie Joanna, we will always be connected, you and I, we’re twins. Just not so closely bound to one another as when we were young.”
I cling to my brother and whisper, “I already miss you.”
“Don’t be silly. Lillie, just because our bond is changing doesn’t mean that it has to be a bad thing. It’s time for you to ascend and time for me to find my kindred and find my purpose as well.”
His words cut me to the core, I had not thought this through, I did not realize that our connection to one another would be compromised. I pull away and look up at my brother, “Lachlan, what happens now?”
He smiles, “You’ll figure it out, along with your demon. And I will follow, always in your shadow.” He teases me and tweaks my nose.
I punch his heavily muscled bicep, “Whatever! I think it has always been the other way around. You always had everyone eating out of the palm of your hand.”
He grins and pushes a plate of pancakes drizzled in real maple syrup in front of me, “Eat up, little sis, you have a long day or so ahead of you. I have a feeling that you and Daxell will be pulled away from us for a time on your mission.” He shovels scrambled eggs onto my plate along with some sausage links.
I grab a carafe of coffee and squeal just a little in my enthusiasm. Lachlan slides a glass my way filled halfway with ice cubes along with a container of half and half, and a simple vanilla sugary syrup and I go about making my favorite beverage, iced coffee, just the way I like it. Sighing, I breathe out, “Java…”
I hear a chuckle from over my shoulder and turn to see Daxell watching me, his eyes twinkling before he saunters into the room. Once again he’s sporting a bare chest and his sleep pants ride low on his hips. I drink him in. Holy freaking demon horde, he’s sex on a stick. Dax catches me ogling him and winks at me. By the gods, give me strength. Turning back to my breakfast and coffee, I see my brother smirking, before making a plate for Dax and sliding it across the island counter.
