by Kat Cotton
I bit my bottom lip. This had to work. I didn’t have a lot of options at the moment.
I waited for some reaction, a puff of smoke or an explosion. Some sign this worked. But, nothing. Not even a sizzle.
“It didn’t work,” I said.
Damn, hell, fuck. Fuck. I’d have to wear these cuffs forever. I wanted to throw myself to the ground in a fit.
“It did,” Philbert said.
“Yeah, but we only have your word for it, and there’s no way of testing that until I get out of here and into the clutches of the Council. I don’t really want to do that. I’d rather have some sparks or purple smoke.”
“You know I need to you to help with the escape, don’t you? Why would I try to fool you about this? It’s alchemy, not magic.”
He had a point, but he got something else out of the cabinet and sprinkled it on the cuffs. A cloud of purple smoke rose from them. A very satisfying cloud of smoke.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You realize that was a cheap magician’s trick designed to ease your mind, with no effect whatsoever?” Philbert asked.
“Whatever. I’ve seen smoke. It worked.”
Chapter 39 Cake
THE CUFFS WERE NOTHING compared to the rest of our problems. We had to get into the Demon Fighters’ Council offices, then find Fleur and get her out.
“If we got in touch with Fern, she could help us,” Kisho said. “She said she has intuitive powers. She knew Fleur was still alive.”
“True, but we can’t get in touch with her,” I said. “We don’t even have Wi-Fi access down here.”
“Yes, we do,” Philbert said. “Not in this room, but elsewhere.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“I might be from the 16th century, but that doesn’t mean I don’t keep up with things. How I survived centuries without the internet is beyond me. You know in my day, we never had Netflix or Tinder or anything civilized.”
“Will I be able to test the cuffs there?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure.” He said that a little too easily.
Then he took us to another room. “A few Wi-Fi boosters and some clever arrangements of sigils, and I’ve tapped into the best network in the city. I can download episodes of Game of Thrones in seconds.”
I went on to the website Fern had given me.
“Tell her to come to the house,” Kisho said.
I shook my head. “She’s too paranoid for that.”
“Then tell her to go to the magic shop and ask for Tarragon. Maybe give her a code word only he’ll understand.”
I did that, and told her to use the word “necromancy”. Which made me think.
“You can’t really bring people back from the dead, can you?” I asked Philbert.
“Hell, no. Even if I had that power, I wouldn’t use it. You don’t mess with that kind of thing. It’s against all the laws of nature.”
I grinned. He was so right about that. Tarragon would just have to find another girlfriend. It was sad that his girlfriend had died, and even worse that the Council had killed her, but dead is dead.
“Try thinking bad things about the Council,” Kisho said. “Test the cuffs.”
I thought about how nice it would be to escape. Nothing. Then I thought about punching Baldy in the face. Still nothing. Even thinking about destroying the entire Council didn’t trigger the cuffs. But that was still relying on Philbert’s theory about the cuffs not working anywhere that didn’t get a Wi-Fi signal.
“You and Nic got into the dungeons pretty easily,” I said to Kisho. “How did you do that? You said Nic thralled a guard.”
Kisho nodded. “The guard slipped out for a cigarette, and Nic just walked up to him.”
“I guess most vampires don’t just waltz into the Demon Fighters’ Council headquarters. I know you can’t thrall anyone, but how about you, Philbert?”
“It’s not going to work,” Philbert said. “Thralling isn’t a part of any reasonable plan. You can’t thrall someone who doesn’t want to be thralled, deep down. You can’t make someone go completely against their training. If that guard could be thralled to let you in, part of him wanted you to escape.”
“I knew that gruff guy had a soft spot for me under that rough exterior.”
“Or maybe he secretly hates the Council. Some tiny resentment like not getting a pay raise can do that.”
“But all vampires can thrall, right?” I’d always thought so.
“Yes,” said Kisho. “But that doesn’t mean all vampires are good at it. It’s a skill, like anything else.”
“Not really a skill. More like a cheap trick,” Philbert said.
“Says the guy who just used fake smoke,” I pointed out.
“Also, not many people have Nic’s skills at thralling people,” Kisho said. “No offense, Philbert, but you don’t seem like the thralling type. Nic has that amazing charisma and charm. People really want to do whatever they can to make him smile, because that smile reaches in and grabs your heart. That’s why he’s such a successful motivational speaker.”
I wanted to mock Kisho for saying that, but he wasn’t wrong. As much as I hated that vampire sometimes, he had all that and more.
“If he wanted to, he could make anyone obey him, but he prefers not to,” Kisho said.
“Phht,” I said. “He loves making people obey him. Anyway, Nic’s skills are beside the point. Since Nic isn’t here now.”
Kisho’s phone buzzed. I bet it was Nic. Like he had some secret sense.
“It’s Nic,” Kisho said. “He says he’s ditched the mayor and wants to meet us.”
“Wait,” Philbert said. “Fill me in on this.”
I gave him a quick recap on Nic and the mayor.
“Wow. I never knew absinthe had that effect on vampires. You learn something every day.” Philbert shook his head.
“I don’t think you’re grasping the main point here,” I said.
“That guy wants my gold. I grasp that. But he’s not getting it. I’m sympathetic about your destroyed city, but it doesn’t work that way. If you make too much gold and the market becomes flooded, the value of it goes down. It’s a short-term solution, but long-term, you can cause real economic damage.”
“I say we tell Nic to meet with Tarragon at the magic shop, then Tarragon can bring both of them here, as well as checking for possible traps,” Kisho said.
“That’s putting a lot of responsibility on someone so flaky,” I said.
“I don’t know where you get the idea that Tarragon is flaky, Clem. He’s been fine, in my opinion.”
“He wants to raise his girlfriend from the dead. Enough said.”
Kisho put his head on the side. “If you died, I’d want to raise you.”
I didn’t know if I should be disgusted or touched by that. “Please don’t,” I told him. “It’s not that I don’t want to spend eternity with you, but being a zombie just isn’t me.”
It’s important to have discussions about these important issues at some point in a relationship. Kisho and I had never talked about it, but there was that whole “’til death do us part” aspect to our relationship. It was pretty much a given that the death would be mine, what with him being all immortal and crap. Of course, there was the whole issue of me being turned, but that wasn’t a path I wanted to go down. A natural life span was good enough for me. But, shit—I might think that now, while I was young and pretty, but maybe, in ten years’ time, when I started getting all wrinkly and jowly but Kisho stayed young and hot, I’d regret that decision. Botox could only do so much.
Actually, the way today was going, that “do us part” could be real soon, and premature aging would be the least of my worries.
“Hey, guys, since we’re just waiting around like dead shits, how about we do it in that other room, the one with the little cakes?”
Philbert nodded. I didn’t want to say it, but my ultimate goal was to eat all those cakes before Nic got here. If I died today, I wanted to make sure I
died leaving Nic only with crumbs.
Chapter 40 Nic
“ABOUT TIME YOU GOT here, vampire,” I said to Nic when the three of them turned up. “I thought you might be having party times with the mayor instead.”
Philbert had gone to meet them in the old house. He must have another way of entering the place, I figured, because none of them looked soot-covered. If Kisho had trouble squeezing down that tunnel, it’d be impossible for Philbert.
Having Nic here made me feel much more confident about things. Which was weird, because I had no idea how he’d be able to help.
“Clem Starr, you underestimate me. You always underestimate me.” He patted me on the cheek. “I had to convince the mayor that I didn’t care about your escape. Just because we have an intimate relationship does not mean I trust the guy.” Nic handed me my backpack. “I grabbed some things for you and Kisho. I left most of your clothes behind because they’re ugly, but if we need to make a fast escape, you’ll need your phone and wallet. Especially your wallet, because I’m not paying for you.”
Then Nic turned and studied Philbert. If Philbert’s bulk made Kisho looked small, Nic was a runt by comparison. The two of them stared at each other like a pair of stray dogs. Philbert was much older than Nic, which gave him vampire rank, but Nic wouldn’t back down. In the end, Philbert looked away, and Nic grinned.
Fern and Tarragon sat at the table, and Nic eyed the empty cake plates. That look of sadness in his eyes almost made me feel guilty about scoffing the lot. Almost.
“This is no time for eating cakes, Clem Starr,” Nic said.
“Don’t worry, Nic,” Kisho said. “I saved you some.”
He pulled out a parcel he’d made from napkins with five cakes hidden in it. Bastard. I was his girlfriend, not Nic.
Nic grinned again. “So, the plan is?” he asked.
“We head to the Council,” Philbert replied. “Straight in the front door. Clementine says she’s turning me in. That way, we get taken to the dungeons, where we rescue Fleur and escape.”
“There seem to be some major holes in this plan,” Nic said. “Like, how do you escape from the dungeons? Also, are you sure that’s what the Council will do? Are you sure Fleur is even in the dungeon?”
“Fleur is in the dungeon,” Fern said. She said it with such finality that no one doubted her.
“As soon as Clem walks in the door of that place, they’ll capture her and ship her off to the research lab. Which is God knows where.” Nic folded his arms.
“We plan to do this around five o’clock,” Philbert said. “Most of the Council staff will be knocking off work around then. Typical public servant style. We walk in as they are leaving. The Council will have no transport until the morning. That gives us time.”
“I think you’re sorely underestimating the Council,” Nic said.
“Says the guy who thought he could thrall a guard and get straight in.” Philbert folded his arms, mirroring Nic.
“Well, it worked.”
“Do we have any other ideas?” Fern asked.
“There has to be a secret tunnel,” I said. “Every single building in this city has a secret tunnel. The underground is a total labyrinth of them. I’m surprised the city doesn’t just collapse.”
“There was one, but it’s been completely blocked up. No way through,” Nic said.
I stared at him. How did he know that?
“The mayor had plans of the building on his phone,” he said. “He also had a lot of dirt on those Council guys.”
“Lycra Shorts is into kinky porn, right?”
“Totally shacked up with a succubus. That’s against Council regulations. And that other guy, the good-looking one, he’s so dodgy.”
“Can you two stop with the Council gossip and get back to the plan?” Kisho said.
I shot Nic a grin. I’d missed him. I’d missed the old him. Horny fun times with the mayor Nic wasn’t nearly as much fun for me.
“Anyway,” Nic said. “I have a vital part of this plan. I told you not to underestimate me, Clem Starr.”
I bet this was the bit where he told me to have sex with someone to save the world. It’d better not be Lycra Shorts because I had some standards.
Nic put his hand in his pocket and swung something on the end of his finger.
“The keys!” I exclaimed.
“You don’t think I just handed them back after I rescued you from the dungeon. The guard thinks he dropped them somewhere. I bet he’s told a pack of lies to cover that up. Meanwhile, I’ve had them all along.”
I could almost hug that vampire. It wasn’t like having the keys would make this plan less stupid, but it would help.
“What’s our part in this plan?” Tarragon asked.
“You and the old lady wait here until we return,” Philbert said.
“Surely I can do more than that. I have knowledge.”
“You have pitiful knowledge that might do more harm than good. We won’t be able to protect you. Also, you have too much anger toward the Council. That will make you irrational,” Philbert said. “You two vampires, you’ll be the backup team. You wait at the door that backs onto the alley. The hunter and I will, of course, go in the front door.”
“I still don’t see how this will work,” Nic said. He was bitter about being relegated to backup. You could tell.
“I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”
“The Council will expect that,” Nic said. “And Clem will be useless, because her powers only work on demons.”
“You told her not to underestimate you,” Philbert said. “Well, my friend, do not underestimate Clem. She has powers she hasn’t begun to tap yet. Just wait and see.”
Nic rolled his eyes. I was inclined to agree with that eyeroll. Powers I hadn’t tapped? What the hell was that guy talking about?
“Oh, you mean this,” Nic said. “Starr, I knew all along you weren’t human. You argued with me, but you can’t argue with science.”
“Hell, yeah, I can. I can argue with science all I like.”
He pulled the papers from the Council out of my backpack. I snatched them from his hands.
“That’s my private stuff.”
“Whatever.”
“Seriously, Nic. That’s all bullshit the Council made up to discredit me. An excuse so they could torture me.”
I didn’t like where this was going. I hadn’t even looked at those stupid papers since the Council had handed them to me.
Before I could stop him, Philbert snatched the papers from my hand.
“God’s bones! I knew you were special, but this incredible. You’re a star.”
Chapter 41 Not Human
THE ALCHEMIST WAS FULL of crap. I knew I was special and amazing and all, but this star business? It was just a name. It didn’t mean anything.
“I’m human,” I said. “Nothing surer.”
“Why would you want to be?” the alchemist said. “People would literally kill for the abilities you have.”
“What does she have?” Nic asked. “A sex aura that helps her kill demons. That’s all fine and dandy, but she’s a one-trick pony. There’s only so much sexual aura-ing you can do.”
Fern gave a little cough. “Actually, the sex aura blocked most of her other skills. She relied too heavily on it. So, when Fleur deactivated her cuffs, she also removed the aura.”
I gasped. Couldn’t you trust anyone in this world?
“That’s not right,” I said. “That’s stealing. She took away my power without asking me.”
“It was for the greater good,” Fern said.
“Bollocks. The greater good is giving people their own choices. What if I’d relied on that power to save my life?”
Philbert ran his fingers through his hair, frustration eking from him. “That sex aura thing is the tip of the iceberg, my friends,” he said. “You’re right: it’s a party trick. Nice to have, but, Clem, you can harness the power of the stars.”
I laughed. The power of the stars
? He sounded like he should be on a late-night infomercial. The dude had been drinking too much of his bubbling concoctions.
“I have no powers,” I said. “I had that awesome glowy electric power before, but that wasn’t mine. It was the Vampire King’s, and now it’s gone.”
“That wasn’t real power,” Kisho said. “But maybe, if any of this is true, you can use these powers today.”
“There’s no way you can learn to use those powers in the time we have,” Fern said. “And I’m not the one to teach you, but if you could tap into them just a little, we can win, here.”
“What does Clem have to do?” Kisho asked. He’d folded his arms. At least he saw how ridiculous this was.
“Focus. It’s all about focus.” Philbert had started to pace. “Fleur told me a little about her powers, and I did some research of my own.”
Nic snorted. “That isn’t as easy as it sounds. Focus isn’t Clem’s strong point.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said. “I’m awesome at focus. I can focus like a—”
Nic held out one of the small cakes to me, and I grabbed it from his hand.
“See, it’d be like training a puppy. Maybe not even a puppy, because there’s hope for them. Like training a goldfish.”
I glowered at Nic. I wasn’t that bad. Sure, I could be easily distracted, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was one of my charms.
“It doesn’t matter, anyway,” I said. “We have immediate concerns that don’t involve me being some magic whatever.”
Fern stepped forward and touched my arm. “They’re telling the truth. All of your people have abilities. Fleur has amazing skills, but you’re a star. That’s incredibly rare. Once this is over, you’ll need to come with us to train those talents.”
“So, you’re one of these people?”
I wouldn’t call them “my” people. I had no people. I had me.
Fern shook her head. “Not really. I have a little bit of the blood, but not enough.”
Before I could argue, Philbert got out a glass orb. “Focus on the orb, Clem,” he said.
Whatever. I looked at that orb. It was just a regular glass thing. Was I supposed to be able to see the future or something? The way things stood, I doubted there was much to see.
