Faith (Stregth Series Book 2)

by T. L. Nicholas

  At the top of the stairs I open the door to my bedroom. It’s a beautiful room, with a gorgeous cherry wood bedroom suit. It’s the kind of room I never imagined I would be sleeping in, but I feel like I’m seeing it all through some kind of fog. None of it seems real or permanent. Chance made this set for Alex, along with all of Cadan’s matching baby furniture, but when they started sharing a room, and a bed, they left the furniture in here for me. I wonder what it’s like to have someone love you so much they build a world for you. That’s what Chance did for her when you think about it. He built a world around her, just waiting for her to realize it was her world. That must be an incredible feeling.

  I slide off my shoes and close the door against the low murmur of them talking downstairs. Even from here I can hear the concern in their voices, and on some level, I appreciate it, but I just want to forget about it all for now.

  The ocean blue sheet set is cool and soft and the pillow is perfect. It feels so much better when all the pressure is off my joints. I can feel the pain meds kicking in, thankfully they don’t take long, but they make me a little nauseous as well, which is not so great. Praying that I can sleep through the nausea this time, I curl up and close my eyes tight.

  I open my eyes slowly. The pain in my head is what woke me up, and I know the light of day isn’t going to make it any better. I’m surprised when I don’t see anything at all and for a moment panic, terrified that I’ve gone blind. Everything else is going to hell, so why not this, right?

  Out of the corner of my eye I catch a red glow from outside the window and I realize it’s dark out. Really dark. I sit up, straining to focus on the alarm clock – eight ‘o clock P.M. I’ve slept most of the day. Through lunch and dinner. Not that big of a loss really, since I don’t really feel hungry, but I missed a dose of meds.

  I get out of bed, extra slow. It’s odd that no one woke me for my meds and I’m worried, but I know how easily I get dizzy. I find my shoes, slipping them on in the darkness, and open my door. It’s dark in the hallway, and I don’t see any light from the stairs either. I feel anxiety creeping in and try to push it down. Everything’s fine, everything’s fine, everything’s fine, I repeat in my head. When I flip the switch for the light it comes on, illuminating the hallway and down the stairs. Nothing looks out of place so I keep going. At the bottom of the stairs I can see there are no lights on downstairs either. There is a yellow orange glow in the dining room from the woodstove, which is normal, but no other lights. I go through to the kitchen and turn the light on, noticing that Cadan’s car seat is missing from its usual spot by the back door. Maybe they went to dinner and just forgot that I needed my meds. It’s not as if it’s their responsibility to get me up. I should have set my alarm.

  I get my pills and find one of the little orange juice bottles to take them with. I wander into the living room and sit down on the couch. I can see the fire from here and it’s nice. They can’t have been gone too long or the fire would be out.

  I’m not sure I’ve ever actually been alone in the house. There’s always someone hovering around me. Usually it annoys me, but just now I realize it’s nice to not be alone.

  How did I get so messed up? I’m annoyed with people when they’re near me, I’m annoyed with them when they’re not. I’m annoyed when they talk to me and when they don’t talk to me. Well… at least I have Shadow. He’s never annoying.

  “Shadow!” I call. I don’t hear him coming, but his name is Shadow because he’s silent as one. It’s surprising, he’s such a huge dog, and you would expect him to be much heavier-footed. Still nothing.

  I stand up and walk to the foyer, sometimes he lays in there, but he’s not there either. Laundry room? “Shadow,” I call as I walk through the house. He’s not anywhere I can find. He never goes upstairs because Chance says his body is so long it makes him feel like he’s going to fall when he’s coming down. I don’t think they would have left him outside, they rarely leave him out, but it’s worth a shot. He’s definitely not in the house.

  The outside light bulb blows as soon as I turn it on. Awesome. I step out and close the door behind me, “Shadow! Shadow?”

  Something moves around the corner. It’s a wrap around porch so maybe he’s over there. Even if they did leave him out, he wouldn’t leave the property. I turn the corner and bounce off of someone, who immediately grabs me. I squeal and smack at them before the voice registers.

  “Easy, Tiny, it’s me. It’s Jace. Calm down.”

  “Oh my God, Jace! What are you doing out here in the dark? You scared me!”

  “I can see that,” he laughs, and even as shocked and frightened as I was a second ago, I love the sound of it. “I must have fallen asleep on the swing. It was light out when I sat down, I woke up when I heard you yelling. I didn’t mean to scare you, Tiny.”

  I realize I’m shivering when he puts his arm around me, “It’s freezing out here,” he says. “Why are you out here without a coat?” He steers me back towards the door and I let him. It really is cold out here.

  “I woke up and everything was dark, and no one was around --,”

  “Your pills!” he interrupts me. “I fell asleep and you didn’t get your pills!”

  He sounds so panicked it makes me laugh. Hard. “It’s not funny, you need them!” he says, pushing me through the door and towards the kitchen.

  “I took them when I woke up, Jace. It’s okay. Really. I won’t die from missing one dose.”

  “Here I’ll get you water,” he says, clearly not listening to me.

  “Jace! I already took them. When I woke up. Chill out,” I’m almost yelling.

  He turns and stares as if he’s having a hard time processing the information he’s been given. I wait patiently, trying not to laugh again. His hair is mussed, his shirt wrinkled, and there may actually be a line across his cheek from how he was resting his head, but it could just be a shadow. Shadow.

  “Jace, where is everyone? And where’s Shadow? I couldn’t find him. That’s why I went outside.”

  “He went with them,” he says simply.

  “With Chance and Alex?” I ask.

  “Yes. And Cadan of course,” he answers while randomly pulling things out of the fridge. A steak, carrots, butter.

  “Okay… where exactly did they go, Jace?” I have to stand up and move as he shoves more stuff in front of me.

  “They went to Tennessee, to my parents’ house,” he says, while rearranging things on the island and motioning for me to sit back down.

  “What? Why? Is something wrong? They didn’t even say goodbye!”

  He disappears into the laundry room, and comes back carrying a pot which he dumps the carrots into. He adds water from the sink, then butter, and a pile of brown sugar.

  “They didn’t want to wake you up. Dad got in a car accident and they went down to help mom with the business and stuff for a week or so,” he says.

  “Oh my God! Is your Dad okay? Why aren’t you with them?”

  He rubs seasoned salt into the steak and puts it aside. Then gets two potatoes out of the basket on the counter, washes them, and starts slicing them on a cutting board.

  “Jace?”

  He looks up at me startled, as though he’d forgotten I was there.

  “Oh yeah, he’ll be fine. Sorry. It wasn’t much more than a fender bender, but he has an old back injury and so it’ll be a few days before he can really get around well. I didn’t go because someone has to be here to handle the jobs we have going right now and Chance is better with the stuff Dad does for the business down there. It made more sense for him to go.”

  “Okay. Why did Alex and Cadan go?

  “Alex wanted to go so she can help Mom. They won’t be gone long,” he answers, reaching into a cabinet for aluminum foil. He pulls a length of foil off, then lays it on the counter and piles the potatoes in. He drizzles oil over them and sprinkles coarse sea salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, and parmesan cheese on top. He folds over the foil and seals all side
s like a packet.

  “Why did they take Shadow? Wouldn’t he have been more comfortable here?” I ask as my stomach growls. What he’s making smells heavenly and I actually feel a little bit hungry. It’s been so long since I’ve felt hunger it takes me a moment to identify it.

  “Mom and Dad have almost five hundred acres. Shadow loves running around there and they have Shadow’s brother, Falcore. They thought he’d like to run around and play with him.”

  “I see,” I didn’t know Shadow had a brother. Or that their parents owned so much land. I realize I haven’t been paying much attention to these wonderful people, and decide that I need to get my head out of my ass.

  Jace places the pot of carrots on the stove and turns the back burner on medium. Bending low, he opens the drawer below the oven and pulls out a heavy looking metal cage with a handle. I’ve never seen it before and I wonder what it’s for, but don’t want to look stupid. He surprises me when he carries it into the dining room. I hear the woodstove squeak as the door is opened, but I don’t hear wood going on. Returning to the kitchen, he picks up the shiny packet of potatoes and walks back into the dining room.

  “What are you doing with them?” I call to the dining room.

  “Cooking them,” he answers. “I like potatoes, but I prefer them cooked.”

  “In the dining room?” I ask, and haul my butt off the stool and to the dining room.

  He’s just standing there, in front of the woodstove, no metal cage thing, no potatoes. “What did you do with them? Throw them in the fire?” I ask.

  “Kind of,” he replies, opening the top load door of the woodstove. I step closer and see the metal cage is resting in the top, above the fire. The foil pack is resting on top of it. He closes the door, “See?”

  “You made a grill inside of the woodstove? I didn’t know you could do that!”

  He grins, “Well, I didn’t make it. Chance bought it. I just put it in there.”

  “That’s so cool! You can grill in the winter!”

  “Personally, I believe grilling is the only real way to cook. I have one of these at my house too,” he says.

  His house. I’ve actually never been there and don’t know much about it. Alex says it’s beautiful, and I wonder sometimes what it looks like. Chance and Alex’s house is homey and warm, decorated in a kind of colonial cabin way. It’s lovely with lots of antiques, combined with handmade wood furniture. Somehow it all works, and is the perfect home for a family.

  Chance is the kind of guy who always wanted a family, so he bought a great big house, with lots of space, and lots of bedrooms, and decorated it for a family. Most of what is done, was already done before he even met Alex.

  Jace isn’t a family guy. He’s not the kind of guy who dreams of one day having a bunch of kids running around. He likes going to the bar after work and dancing with as many beautiful women as possible. He’s known as a heartbreaker for a reason. He would be known as a player, except that, from everything I’ve heard, he’s always very up front about not wanting a relationship. He’s always up for a good time, and he’d like to remain friendly, but he’s not looking for a girlfriend or anything long term.

  I understand how a woman could hope for more. Watching him crouched in front of the fire, keeping an eye on his meal, I can see the appeal. Not that I didn’t see it before. The first word that comes to mind when I think of Jace is hot. A lean, solid build, and a six-pack under that sweatshirt is pretty much a given. Sexy crooked smile, gorgeous blue eyes. Even his temperament is solid. Usually calm, quiet, not at all easy to rattle. If he’s near you, you can lean on him. He won’t ever let you fall. He’ll catch you with huge, long fingered, capable hands. I just know those hands are capable of —.”

  “Earth to Bayleigh,” he says. My eyes focus and he’s right in front of me, close enough to kiss. “Are you okay, Bay? Here, sit down,” he pulls me into the living room, over to the couch and gently pushes me down.

  “I’m sorry. I just… zoned… I guess,” I say. I can’t very well tell him I was daydreaming about the finer points of his physique.

  The cushion sags as he sits next to me. Raising his arm, he rests the back of his hand against my forehead, “You sure you’re okay, Tiny? You look a little flushed.” His eyes are filled with concern, but I can’t tell him why my face is flushed.

  “I’m fine, really,” I say, brushing his hand away.

  “Okay, but I think you should lie down,” he says. He grabs both of my ankles and then stands up, flipping my legs up onto the couch where he was sitting and I’m on my back.

  “I don’t need to lie down,” I protest, but he’s already covering me with a throw blanket off the back of the couch.

  “Please? It’ll make me feel better if you rest,” he says. He doesn’t bother waiting for an answer before heading back to the kitchen.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Don’t touch me!” I scream. It’s dark but I can hear him breathing above me, feel his hands on my shoulders holding me down. I swing hard and feel my fist connect, but my hand is tangled in the blanket so it’s not as hard as I hoped.

  “Bayleigh! Bayleigh, STOP!” he yells, but I’m not doing that again. I get my hand free and swing harder. I connect with only air.

  My eyes adjust to the darkness and I see Jace above me, eyes wide and hands up, palms facing me, “Take it easy, Tiny, it’s me, Jace. I thought you’d like some dinner. I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

  I sit up slowly, stretching the stiffness out of my neck and back muscles as he lowers his hands and stares at me warily.

  “I’m sorry. I must have been dreaming,” it’s the only explanation I can think of that won’t require three hours of further explanations, though I know for certain it wasn’t a dream that made me hit him.

  “I think I’d call it a nightmare, personally, but I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he stretches his hand out to me, “dinner’s ready. You hungry?”

  “I think I am, thank you,” I reply, taking his hand. I notice again how large his hand is, how warm. How strong his grip is as he effortlessly pulls me up to standing. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t say anything else. He pulls me lightly towards the dining room and drops my hand to walk around the dining table.

  “You didn’t have to cook for me,” I say, more than a little overwhelmed at the work he’s put in. The smells of steak, wood fired potatoes, and glazed carrots is mouth-watering. “Is that wine?” I ask, both hopeful and nervous.

  “No, I’m sorry. It’s just cranberry juice,” the sadness reaches my eyes before I can stop it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you could drink with your medications. Would you rather have wine? I’m sure Chance has some around here somewhere,” he says, getting up from his chair.

  “No, no, please, this is fine. I probably shouldn’t be drinking. You’re right. This all looks absolutely delicious. Thank you so much for going to all of this trouble for me. You really didn’t have to,” I say. I immediately regret it. I know I sound ungrateful.

  He doesn’t seem to notice, and begins loading my plate with food. I decide I’m going to do my absolute best to eat it all. My appetite hasn’t been good lately, and I just keep losing weight. I don’t think I even have an ass anymore. I cut a small piece of steak and pop it in my mouth. The flavor is amazing. “What else did you put on this besides seasoned salt?” I have to know.

  He smiles and the corners of his eyes crinkle. It’s adorable. “Nothing,” he says and shrugs. “I think seasoned salt is the best thing you can do for a steak, and the only thing you need. It draws out the natural flavors without covering it up.” It’s a simple explanation, but I can’t deny the logic when the product of that logic is the best steak I’ve ever had in my life.

  I take a sip of my cranberry juice and do my best to hide how disgusting I think it is. I know I’ve failed as soon as I look up.

  “What else can I get you to drink?” he asks softly.

  “Nothing, thank you, this is per
fect,” I answer.

  “C’mon, Tiny. I can see that you don’t like it at all. What can I get you? Water? Soda? Orange Juice? Name it,” he says, standing up from his chair.

  I stand up as well, “No, Jace, please. You’ve done enough. I can certainly get a drink for myself. Please, eat your dinner. I’ll be right back.”

  He sits back down, but it’s clear he’s not at all happy about it. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. Nothing looks especially appealing, but Alex has some Diet Coke and she’s not going to be drinking it for the next week, so why not. It’s not my favorite thing, but more flavorful than water and far less gross than cranberry juice. I fill a glass, put the bottle back in the fridge and go back to my seat.

  It doesn’t look like he’s eaten anything since I left. His fork and knife are sitting on his plate. He waits until I’ve settled myself and then picks them up and cuts another piece of steak.

  I push my carrots around on my plate with my fork. They look delicious, but I feel extremely exposed all of a sudden. Nervous and jittery.

  “You don’t have to eat them if you don’t like them, Tiny.”

  “I don’t know if I like them,” I respond, stabbing several with my fork. I deliberately put them in my mouth, where it feels like they melt more than like I’m chewing them. “Oh my God, Jace, these are amazing!”

  He laughs, a throw your head back, shoulder shaking laugh that makes me laugh too. “They’re just glazed carrots, Bay, nothing that special.”

  “No way. I’ve never had anything this good. Where did you learn to cook like this?” I ask, shoveling another fork full of carrots into my mouth.

  He finishes chewing the mouthful he’s eating before wiping his mouth with his napkin and answering. “Well, I live alone, and I’m not one for girlfriends, as I’m sure you’ve heard. I appreciate good food, and hate eating out all the time, so… I guess you’d call it self-preservation cooking. I don’t want to starve and I appreciate good food.”