Faith (Stregth Series Book 2)

by T. L. Nicholas

  He pulls away slightly, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I never thought I’d get to do that again.”

  He smiles. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere, Tiny. I’m here for you.”

  I shake my head, forming the argument in my mind, when Ben says, “Kayleigh needs to just worry about herself, right, Bayleigh?”

  I look down, nodding.

  “Who’s Kaylee?” Jace asks, letting go of me, and getting a cup of coffee.

  “Just some girl who’s a lot smarter than Bayleigh,” Ben says.

  Jace looks at him, his eyes confused and angry at the same time, and I laugh. Okay, he’s not jealous over me, but he’s definitely protective. “It’s true, she is,” I say, to be sure he knows Ben didn’t upset me.

  Ben being who he is, though, doesn’t just let it go. “Wow. If you look at me like that just for saying there might be someone smarter than her in the world, I’m really glad you were sleeping for most of the day. When she’s mean, I’m mean back.”

  “You’re not mean, you’re honest. I just don’t always like the truth very much,” I say, laughing.

  “See? She’s getting smarter by the second!”

  They both laugh, and I relax a little.

  There’s a loud knock on the door. Jace looks at Ben, questioning, and Ben shakes his head. “Not for me. All the people who know I’m here are in the room.”

  Jace goes to the door, and I can hear low voices. “Bayleigh?”

  I walk to the door, Ben right behind me. When I see it’s a cop, I stop in my tracks so suddenly Ben runs into me. He grabs my arms, steadying me, and I know the second he sees him. He tenses so much, I’m sure he’s leaving bruises. He realizes it and let’s go.

  “Bayleigh Richards?” the cop asks, his hat under his arm as he steps inside.

  My heart is pounding so hard I’m afraid I won’t be able to hear what the charges are this time. “Yes?”

  “You are Bayleigh Richards, previously of Cecil County, Maryland, and daughter of Elise Richards?” he asks.

  “Yes.” What did she do now?

  “I’m Officer Watts, and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Your mother has passed away.”

  “Oh.” I know I should be saying something. All three men are staring at me as though I’m a bomb. They’re clearly not sure how to handle me, but they also look like they could dive for cover at any second. “Okay. Um. I don’t… what happened?” I ask.

  He puts his hand up to his forehead, in what I assume is a nervous gesture. His hazel eyes are as soft as his voice as he says, “I don’t know, I’m sorry. I don’t have all the information, but I do know they’ll be doing an autopsy, to be sure. They don’t believe it’s suspicious though, to my knowledge.”

  I nod. “I understand. It was probably liver failure. She’s an alcoholic,” I say. “Sorry, she was an alcoholic.”

  He rubs his forehead again, “Can I ask when the last time you talked to her was? They’re trying to narrow down time of death.”

  “So, she was there for a while, before someone found her, you mean?” I ask.

  He nods. “It looks that way, ma’am. I’m sorry,” he says.

  Ben moves to the side of me, closest to the door, and Jace moves to my right. Neither one of them touches me, but I can feel the heat from their bodies on my arms. “I haven’t talked to her in months. We didn’t have a close relationship,” I say. He nods. “Who found her? Do you know?” I ask.

  “Her landlord, when she didn’t pay the rent.”

  I nod. “What do I need to do? Do I need to identify the body?”

  “No, the landlord took care of that. And he’s waived the rent for this month. You’ll have to have her place cleaned out by the end of the month, and you’ll need to make arrangements.”

  “Arrangements for what?” I ask.

  He looks down at the floor, closing his eyes for a second. He swallows hard, then looks up, eyes shiny, “You’re going to have to decide if you want her to be cremated or if you’ll be having a funeral, and then make those arrangements. The coroner will be able to help you get everything done, once they release the body.”

  “Right. Alright. Do you have a phone number for them or do I need to look it up? Never mind. I’m sorry for keeping you, I can look it up. Thank you for letting me know.”

  He takes a card out of his pocket, and holds it out to me. “The number is on the back of my card. I’m very sorry for your loss, ma’am,” he says. I stare at the card, nodding.

  Jace reaches over, taking it from him, “Thank you, sir.”

  He nods, putting his hat back on. “Sorry again, ma’am. I hope everything works out.”

  “Thank you,” I mumble, watching him walk across the porch. Ben closes the door, and I can feel his eyes on me.

  “Bayleigh?” Jace says my name, and appears in front of me.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?” he asks.

  “Of course. We weren’t close. It’s alright,” I say, looking up at him. He exchanges a look with Ben and they both walk toward the kitchen. It appears that they’re going to go through me to get there, so I turn around, walking in front of them.

  I sit down, staring at my empty soda glass, trying to remember when I finished it. Ben takes it away, and I stare at the veins of rock on the counter. A minute later, he puts it back, filled with soda. I pull it toward me, watching the bubbles pop and feeling the cool mist they create on my face.

  “How long do you think she was there?” I ask.

  “I don’t know,” Jace says.

  “You don’t need to think about that, Bayleigh,” Ben says.

  I nod. “It doesn’t matter, right? Dead is dead.” They don’t say anything, and I feel bad. I don’t know what to say either.

  “I don’t have money for a funeral. Do they have one of those potters things, do you think?”

  “Like Potter’s Field?” Ben asks.

  “Yeah, that’s it. They bury people there that don’t have anyone to make arrangements, right? Do you think they can do that?”

  “But she has someone to make arrangements for her, Bayleigh,” he says quietly.

  “Well, yeah, I can call people or whatever, but I don’t have any way to pay for a funeral or anything. She didn’t have any money, either. I don’t even know how I’m going to clean her apartment out.”

  “You have me, and I can afford to pay for her funeral,” Jace says.

  I stare at him, “Why would you do that? You never even met her.”

  His expression tightens and I wonder if he’s in pain, “I know you. She’s your mother, Bayleigh, I want to. Let me help.”

  I snort, “My mother. Ha. She wasn’t much of a mother, Jace. She loved alcohol, not me. Maybe we can find a beer maker to pay for the funeral. That would be fitting, wouldn’t it? And she’d probably be happier with that too.”

  “I don’t think they do that, Bayleigh. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do,” Ben says, shaking his head at Jace when he starts to talk. “If you want to have her buried in a Potter’s field, we’ll look into it, if you want to have her cremated, we’ll do it, if you want to give her a funeral, we’ll do that. She was your mom, good or bad, and while I understand how you feel” — I look up to argue with him, and he puts his hand up — “you know I do, Bayleigh, I understand. We’ll do whatever you want to do.”

  “I want to do the Potter’s field thing,” I say succinctly.

  “Sorry, I wasn’t finished. We will do whatever it is you decide to do, after we go to Maryland and clean out her apartment. Once we’ve done that, whatever you decide is what we’ll do.”

  I stare at him. “I don’t want to go to Maryland.”

  “Sorry, kid, this is one of those times when you don’t get a vote.”

  Jace nods. “Sorry, Sweetheart, but it has to be done,” he says to me. “When are you clear to leave, Ben?” he asks.

  “I don’t have anything except work, and since I work for you, I think it’ll be ok
ay if I miss some time.”

  “Wait. Why is Ben going? You don’t want to go clean out my mother’s apartment.”

  “I’m going because I give a shit, and even if I didn’t, furniture is heavy and it sucks trying to move it by yourself. Plus, Jace needs a bodyguard around you. I’m doing it for him,” he grins and I laugh.

  “I’m not going to hit him,” I say.

  “Uh-huh. Bet you would have said that yesterday too” — he looks at Jace — “When do you want to head out? Tonight, or in the morning?” he asks.

  “How about morning? Is that alright?” Jace asks.

  I shrug. I know it doesn’t matter anyway.

  “Good with me. I don’t have anyone to answer to,” Ben says. He walks over to the freezer, rummaging around, and coming up with a bag of frozen peas. “You better put these on your face” — he throws them to Jace — “or people are going to think I kicked your ass.”

  Jace grins, slapping them to his face.

  CHAPTER 21

  A bump wakes me up, but I keep my eyes closed. I don’t want Ben and Jace to know I’m awake. We left at eleven o’clock last night, after they decided they didn’t want to deal with morning traffic. I’m sitting in the front seat of Jace’s truck, though I tried to give it to Ben. He says the seats are the same size in a crew cab, and the lady gets shotgun. I was too tired to argue.

  “She’ll be okay, man. You didn’t grow up like we did, so I know it’s hard for you to understand how she’s acting, but don’t worry,” Ben says.

  “Yeah, it is hard for me to understand. I’m trying though,” Jace answers.

  “I know. Just be ready for the dam to break. It will. No matter how hard she tries.”

  “I’m ready. I still have one good eye, so at least she’ll have something to aim for.”

  They both laugh, and I struggle to keep from smiling. Ben’s wrong though, there’s no dam to break. There’s nothing.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” Ben asks.

  “You can ask, but no, I don’t think you’re pretty,” Jace says.

  Ben laughs. “Yes, I am. You only have one good eye, what do you know?”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Why don’t you just tell her you love her?”

  “How do you know I haven’t?” Jace asks.

  “Because she doesn’t know. I mean, I think she knows, but she can’t admit it to herself. She’s scared.” Ben says.

  “She’s afraid of me?” Jace’s voice shakes.

  “No. She’s afraid of you loving her.”

  “Why? She doesn’t love me back? I can wait.”

  Ben laughs. “You’re so fucking predictable, man. No. She loves you, but I don’t think she can admit that either.”

  I don’t know if I should be insulted that they’re talking about me or ashamed that I’m listening. I try to will myself back to sleep, but in the meantime, I can’t help listening.

  “Then why would she be scared?”

  Ben sighs. “Alright, listen. I shouldn’t get involved, I know that, but damn, you two need some help. A blind, deaf man could see that you two love each other at a hundred paces.”

  Jace’s voice sounds wary, “Okay?”

  “Bayleigh and I, we’re different than you. From what I can see, you grew up in a stable family with people who loved you. They took care of you, they loved you, and it didn’t matter what you did, you knew that even if they got mad, they’d still love you. Am I right?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So, she didn’t. She grew up with a mom who she loved more than the world, because that’s what kids do, they love. Her mom though, she loved differently. If she didn’t have enough beer, or little Bayleigh interrupted a good time with the man of the night, little Bayleigh was garbage. To her? Love has strings, and people cut through them, leaving you freefalling all alone for one little mistake. She’s terrified that she’s going to do something to make you cut the string that ties you to her.”

  I turn my head to the window, acting like I’m still asleep. I can feel the tears coming, and if they see them, they’ll know I’m listening.

  “There isn’t a blade in the world strong enough to do that,” Jace says simply.

  “Yeah, I figured that out when I saw your face this morning and all you could talk about was how scared you were of losing her.”

  “She didn’t know she was hitting me, Ben. You didn’t see her.”

  “I know that. I know she wasn’t trying to hurt you, man. Think about it though, if she was just the flavor of the week, or even of the month, you would have had her committed, dusted yourself off, and moved on with your life.”

  “Is that what you would have done?”

  “With her? No. I wouldn’t have.”

  “Why?” Jace’s voice is hard.

  “Calm down, I’m not crushing on your girl. I don’t know why. She’s so much like my sister, I think I have a hard time separating them. I know she’s not my sister, but when I look at her, I feel like her big brother.”

  There’s a long silence, and I start to worry that they’re giving each other death stares through the mirror.

  “Alright,” Jace says. “So, if you wouldn’t have done that, why do you think I should have?”

  “Woah, I never said should. I said if you weren’t in it for the long haul, you would have. I also said that I wouldn’t have with her. Any other girl? Good God, yes. As soon as possible. You have to be invested to willingly deal with that.”

  “I am invested.”

  “I see that. Anyone can see that.”

  “It’s the meds. She was doing better, so much better, but then she was super happy, and the next minute, super depressed, then mad, then happy again. I think when they’re out of her system, she’ll feel a lot better.”

  “She will, but with her mom, it might get worse before it gets better, Jace.”

  “I know. I already thought of that. She has some really good reasons for feeling the way she does. Really good ones.”

  “Just the ones I know are enough, and I know there are more.”

  “How do I help her not be scared?” Jace asks.

  “Just keep slaying all the dragons, man. Keep that blade sharp, you’re going to need it.”

  “Hey, kid, time to wake up,” Ben says. I open my eyes, and he’s smiling, two inches from my face. I jerk backward as he laughs.

  “Are we here?”

  “We’re somewhere, but it doesn’t seem like much. I already miss the mountains.”

  “What time is it?” I ask, stretching.

  “Six. We’ve got a couple of hours before we can do anything. Jace is getting us hotel rooms and we’ll get cleaned up, then meet for breakfast.”

  “How many hotel rooms?” I ask.

  “I think two. One for you guys and one for me” — he puts his hand on my arm, lowering his voice — “do you not want to stay in his room?”

  “No, I do. I was afraid he was putting me by myself,” I answer, then feel stupid for saying it out loud.

  “He’s not pushing you away, Bayleigh, so don’t push him either,” he says, grabbing our suitcases out of the bed of the truck.

  I follow him into the hotel lobby. “I’m not. I’m trying not to, anyway. I’m trying to just let things… be.”

  “Good plan, kid, stick with it.” He smiles and I smile back.

  We have rooms right next to each other, so Jace opens our door while Ben opens his. “See you downstairs at eight,” Jace says.

  “Yep. I’ll be there,” Ben answers before his door closes behind him.

  I walk in ahead of Jace and abruptly stop. “This isn’t a hotel room, it’s an apartment.” There’s a galley kitchen, with granite counter tops and a breakfast bar to the right, a huge bathroom to the left, an actual dining table and chairs, a living room area, with a huge television.

  Jace laughs. “No, it’s just a nice hotel room. We’re going to be here a few days, possibly even a week, I don’t know. I�
�d rather us all be comfortable.”

  “Where’s the bedroom?” I ask, not seeing anywhere it could be. He walks into the living room, then around the corner. I follow, losing my breath when I turn the corner. It’s huge, with a king-sized bed, night stands, two dressers, and a sitting area in front of the windows. Everything is white or gray, and it’s beautiful.

  “Let’s see what kind of view we have,” he says, opening the curtains. The sun is coming up, its light spilling over the millions of lights below us. In the distance, I see a couple of boats. “We can see the Bay!”

  “Yes. You’re from here. Haven’t you seen it before?” he asks.

  “Yeah, but only when I was standing in front of it or on a bridge. I’ve never seen it from a window like this. It’s so pretty.”

  “Not as pretty as you,” he says, pulling me to him for a kiss. He slides his tongue across my lips, and I’m so happy I could burst. He loves me. He won’t say it to me, but I know he does. I raise my hand to his face, and he flinches.

  “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I forgot. I’m so sorry, Jace.”

  He grips my waist, so I can’t back away like I want to, feeling awful for causing him pain. “Sweetheart, you can stand on it if you want to, I’ll take the pain as long as you kiss me.”

  “I hate that I hurt you.”

  “I hate that you felt so trapped, you felt like you had to.”

  “You said you wanted kids. I don’t remember much after that.”

  “I know,” he says, resting his hand the side of my face. “I need you to listen though. I know you have a lot on your mind, but I just want to get this out of the way. It does not matter to me, Bayleigh. The only thing that matters to me, is you. If you want kids, we’ll have kids, if you don’t, I’ll be perfectly happy spoiling my nephew and any others that follow him.”

  “I can’t have kids though, Jace.” I answer, blocking out the part where it sounds like he plans on staying forever.

  “I know. You can’t physically carry a child, but we can adopt, or maybe, if it’s possible, we can get a surrogate. You never told me why you can’t have kids, so I don’t know if that’s an option or not.”