Personally I wouldn’t put it past her. Sasha was very lucky not to have become a bowl of setter soup.
‘But if it’s over, why is she here tonight?’
‘Because you asked me to bring her!’ says Ollie, sounding exasperated. ‘We’re not together; we haven’t been together for months. OK, maybe I might have had a relapse for that one night when you told me we were better off as friends, but apart from that I’ve hardly seen the girl. Which has taken some effort, I can tell you. She’s like human Velcro.’
‘I thought you wanted to be with her!’ I’m glad I’m sitting down, because I’m in serious shock here. ‘I thought you’d only come tonight if you were with her!’
We look at each other and start to laugh.
‘I thought you were pushing us together.’ Ollie shakes his head. ‘I didn’t understand it. And then when you started seeing Gabriel Winters, well, I won’t lie, I was really pissed off with you. It seemed less painful just to let you think we were still a couple, because you were so happy with him.’
I squeeze his hand. ‘My relationship with Gabriel isn’t quite what it seems.’
‘I don’t care about that,’ says Ollie. ‘How long have you known me?’
‘For ever,’ I hiccup.
‘So why did you prefer to listen to Nina? Didn’t you know in your heart I’d never say those things?’
I have the answer to this one. It’s all I can do not to shoot my hand right up into the air and shout ‘I know, sir!’
‘Nina’s everything you look for in a girlfriend,’ I remind him. ‘She’s blonde, thin and successful. Basically, the opposite of me. All your girlfriends are like Nina, Ol. It wasn’t rocket science.’
‘Just as well you teach English and not science then,’ says Ollie. ‘You total muppet, Katy! Why do you think I never stayed with any of them?’
Can I ask the audience?
‘Because, you idiot,’ Ollie’s hand moves to cup my cheek, ‘I’ve been biding my time and waiting for someone else, somebody really special. Somebody who loves bacon sandwiches as much as I do, who rescues lobsters and keeps them in the bath, somebody who sneaks off for a fag at break time.’ His hand caresses my cheek. ‘Do you know anyone like that, Katy Carter?’
I can hardly breathe. ‘I think so.’
‘Well,’ murmurs Ollie, ‘I do. And this time I’m not being fobbed off with excuses about being mates, because to hell with being mates, Katy. I don’t want to be your mate any more.’
I pretend to be very absorbed in the false eyelash. ‘What do you want to be?’
But Ollie is done with speaking. Instead he pulls me closer and his lips brush against mine. It’s amazing! Little ripples of desire fizz and pop through my bloodstream like champagne, and I feel all light-headed. Then he puts his arms around me and is kissing me softly, his tongue gently caressing mine and probing the inside of my lip. I coil my hand around his neck and at last I know what it feels like to bury my fingers in those soft curls at the nape.
It feels like heaven.
I could kiss him for ever.
‘Christ!’ Ollie pulls away first, his eyes dark with emotion and his hands trembling. ‘You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.’
Actually I think I have; about as long as I have probably. Why did I pretend for so long that Ollie was nothing more than a mate? Who was I trying to kid? I trace his full, sexy mouth with my finger and smile. How could I have thought he was nothing like a romantic hero? When I think of the motley crew I’ve met over the past few months, I want to punch myself for being such an idiot. The perfect romantic hero was there all the time, right under my nose. Romantic heroes can wear beanie hats and make a mess in the kitchen when they cook. They can leave the loo seat up sometimes and forget to hoover. They can even play Xbox for hours on end. Sitting on a cold stone bench in Jewell’s garden, I have a revelation a bit like that guy in the Bible who had fishes’ scales fall from his eyes, only less messy. Being a romantic hero isn’t about fitting some formula, because, let’s be honest, Gabriel and Guy look perfect on paper but are both as about romantic as cold custard. Being my romantic hero is actually really simple.
It’s about being Ollie.
There’s a sigh of wind and the magnolia trees whisper softly. The fairy lights looped between them shiver and cast silvered beams on to us. Ollie lifts my chin and drops a kiss on my lips. It’s as soft as the breeze but my stomach flips just like it did when Jewell forced me to go on Oblivion at Alton Towers.
Luckily this time I don’t puke, though.
I suddenly feel really shy, which is mad, because I’m with Ollie. I can’t be shy with him. He’s seen me cut open and has seen me throw up on numerous nights out. He’s seen me dribble after having a tooth out.
‘This is wrong,’ Ollie says suddenly. ‘You’re with somebody else.’
‘It’s over with him,’ I say hastily. ‘In fact it never really started.’
‘He’s a movie star. Mr Rochester. He’s what you’ve always wanted. He can give you everything.’
Yeah. Apart from that one vital thing.
I’m going to have to tell him. ‘There’s something you need to know about Gabriel—’
Ollie places his finger on my lips. ‘I don’t want to talk about Gabriel or Nina any more. I know that I haven’t got a lot to offer you. I’ve got a yellow camper van, a red setter and about three hundred quid to my name. I know that if you stay with Gabriel Winters you’ll have a lifestyle that most people can only dream about and there’s no way I can compete with him.’
I try to speak but Ollie’s hand is in the way. He’s known me long enough to realise that near suffocation is the only way to keep me quiet.
‘But I love you. I love you a million times more than he ever could. I know that you make a mess, leave empty milk cartons in the fridge and eat all my biscuits.’
I do not! I never eat his biscuits.
Well, only sometimes.
‘You don’t clean the bath, you hide your credit-card bills under the sink and you have terrible taste in music,’ carries on Ollie, working his way through what is starting to sound like a rather alarming list. ‘But I wouldn’t have you any other way. Gabriel Winters could never love you like I love you.’
Ollie, you don’t know how right you are!
‘Come away with me,’ Ollie says, squeezing my hand. ‘Tonight. The van’s outside; all we need to do is get in it and drive. I’ll sort things out with Nina — if I’ve mislead her then I must put that right — and you can sort things out with Gabriel. We’ll travel together. Just you, me and Sasha.’
‘Really?’ There’s a big bubble of happiness rising inside me, pushing aside all the scum of months of misery. ‘You really mean it?’
‘Of course I do!’ laughs Ollie, and kisses me so fiercely that our noses bash together.
‘Ouch!’ I giggle, as I surface for air.
‘Sorry,’ he grins. ‘I’m acting like a sixteen-year-old. But I really don’t care. Life’s too short for messing about; if I’ve learned anything over the past few months then that’s it.’
Ollie and I sit for what feels like ages, not wanting to burst the bubble of our happiness, and we talk and kiss and laugh as the party goes on around us. The fairy lights twinkle, and from inside I hear Jewell’s laughter. I can’t wait to tell her about us, although I have a feeling she already knows. She’s working her magic tonight.
‘So,’ says Ollie eventually, threading his fingers through mine, ‘meet me in about thirty minutes, outside the house? That gives you some time to tell Jewell and sort things out with Gabriel. It also…’ he pauses and looks at me long and hard, his eyes behind the lenses so full of mingled hope and uncertainty that I feel weak, ‘gives you some time to think things over and, if you want to, change your mind.’
‘I won’t change my mind.’
‘It’s a big decision,’ Ollie says firmly. ‘I want you to think it through. I’ve had months of thinking about nothing else but
I’ve sprung this on you. You need to think about Gabriel.’
Gabriel? It’s like hearing a name from another lifetime, another world. How could I have been such an idiot as to embroil myself in all those fibs? Never mind tangled web, this is more like being stuck in one of Guy’s trawls. I know that I’ve sworn to say nothing, but…
I have to tell Ollie the truth about Gabriel.
Honesty is my new policy, remember.
I take a deep breath, open my mouth and—
‘There you are!’ screeches Frankie, flinging open the French windows and staggering into the garden. ‘We were getting worried about you!’
Why does Frankie always have to interrupt us at a critical moment? He’s starting to make a habit of it.
Seconds later Marilyn Monroe falls into the garden behind him, her high heels trip-trapping over the terrace and her full breasts threatening to escape any moment from the halterneck. In spite of myself I’m mesmerised. I’ve never seen a real false pair, so to speak, before. I can’t really blame Ollie for being fascinated. I know that he’s fantastic and all that, but at the end of the day he is but a bloke.
‘We were paired together,’ explains Frankie, pulling a desperate face that Nina misses; rolling his eyes, drawing a finger across his throat and twirling round, he points to his badge, which reads Homer. Nina looks less than thrilled to have Marge pinned to her back. ‘I don’t think it was me that Nina was hoping for, so we thought we’d come and find you guys.’
‘Thanks,’ says Ollie, but irony was never Frankie’s strong point.
‘No problem!’ He plops himself in between us. ‘Ooh! Tight squeeze! Shove up. You’re a bit cosy, aren’t you?’ He peers closer. ‘Hey! Are you holding hands? Oh!’ Frankie looks from Ollie to me as slowly it’s not so much the penny that drops as his entire and rapidly increasing bank balance. He claps a hand over his mouth. ‘Oh shit! Sorry!’
‘Oliver,’ snaps Nina, her chest rising like twin hot-air balloons. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’
‘I’ve been talking to Katy,’ says Ollie coldly.
Nina’s eyes sweep over me.
‘I thought Cosmo said you’d lost weight?’
Whatever charm school she went to owes her parents one whopping refund.
‘Thanks for passing on all my messages to Ollie,’ I say.
Nina doesn’t even have the good grace to look embarrassed.
‘I only did that because I hate to see Ollie used.’
‘I’ve never used Ollie,’ I cry. ‘We’re friends.’
‘Really?’ Nina looks amused. ‘And you tell each other everything, I suppose?’
This is the part where I really ought to cross my fingers. I will tell Ollie everything just as soon as I get the chance.
‘Of course we do,’ says Ollie.
Nina looks sceptical. ‘That isn’t what James just told me.’
‘James?’ Ollie looks confused.
‘Merchant banker? Very charming?’ Nina smirks at me as she reels off this list. ‘Used to live with Katy, who I believe now lives with Gabriel Winters?’ She wags a crimson talon at me. ‘All these men, Katy. How do you do it? I’m seeing you in a whole new light.’
She makes it sound as though it’s a red one.
‘Ollie,’ I say quickly, because put like this even I think I sound like a right old slapper. ‘I can explain it all. Especially about Gabriel.’
‘No you can’t,’ squeals Frankie.
‘But can you explain James?’ Nina places her hands on her hips and I practically hear the bones grating. If I never ate again I still couldn’t be that thin. ‘Can you explain why he spent yesterday afternoon in your hotel room?’
‘Is James here?’ I look nervously over my shoulder, half expecting to see him lurking in the shadows, scattering trouble like a malevolent pinstriped Puck.
‘Of course he’s here,’ Nina giggles. ‘You invited him.’
‘Did you?’ Ollie turns to look at me, baffled.
‘No, but I knew he was coming. Sort of.’
‘Sort of?’ says Ol.
‘Just be honest,’ Nina snaps. ‘You’re getting back together, aren’t you? You’re going to dump poor Gabriel and go running back to James.’
‘No!’ I splutter. ‘I’d rather chew my legs off!’
‘That’s not what James says.’ Nina’s enjoying this. God only knows what rubbish James has been feeding her. I should imagine he’s taken another look at Jewell’s lovely house and is seeing pound signs again. ‘He says you guys are on the phone non-stop.’
Ollie looks at me. Bewilderment is etched across his face.
‘Hardly non-stop,’ I say quickly. ‘Just a few texts now and then. And he popped over to see me yesterday.’
‘You never mentioned that,’ Ol says quietly.
‘That’s because there’s nothing to mention. Anything else I’ll have to explain later. Alone.’
Nina places one claw on Ollie’s arm. ‘We really need to talk, but not out here. Let’s go inside where it’s warmer.’
‘Five minutes,’ says Ollie, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘Five minutes and that’s all.’
I feel queasy with nerves. What is James cooking up now?
‘Half an hour, remember,’ Ol says, looking back at me over his shoulder. The fairy lights bring out the golden streaks in his hair. ‘Thirty minutes — unless you change your mind.’
‘I won’t,’ I promise. ‘No way.’
The door opens; chatter and music drift into the garden and are truncated swiftly when the door clicks shut.
Ollie doesn’t glance back. In spite of the tender kisses of only moments ago, I can feel the foundations of my happiness turn to quicksand.
Goose bumps pimple my arms. ‘What’s James been telling her?’
‘Some old bollocks,’ says Frankie airily. ‘I shouldn’t worry about that. Ollie loves you, girlfriend.’
‘You reckon?’ Now Ollie’s gone, it’s like the minutes before were a dream; certainties roll away like mercury.
Frankie nods. ‘Oh yeah, I reckon. I could have told you that months ago. Everyone knows he’s mad about you.’
They do? How come nobody ever thought to mention it to me? Thanks a bundle everyone.
Frankie gives me a watery smile. ‘You’re lucky to have someone who loves you like that.’
‘You’ve got Gabriel.’
Frankie’s head droops. ‘Have I?’ He looks up, and I’m horrified to see that his eyes are bright with tears. ‘Is that the Gabriel who pretends to be straight so that his precious career is safe and who is paying you to pretend to be his girlfriend?’
Um, yeah.
That Gabriel.
‘It’s pointless,’ wails Frankie, shoulders slumped and face buried in his hands. ‘What sort of future do we have if he won’t even acknowledge me? Is that love, Katy? Is it?’
‘But he can’t!’ I remind him. ‘You knew that from the start. Gabriel’s career is really important. You told me that yourself.’
‘More important than me?’ Frankie dashes the back of his hand across his eyes. ‘He’s never going to tell anyone, is he? I’ll always be the guilty little secret that’s hidden away. What’s the point?’
‘So what’s the solution? Gabriel has to come out?’
‘God, no!’ Frankie looks horrified. ‘That would crucify him. And he’s adamant it’ll ruin his future as an actor. Nobody must ever find out the truth.’ He grips my arms. ‘Promise you won’t say anything? To anyone?’
‘I’ve got to tell Ollie.’
‘No!’ Frankie cries. ‘You can’t tell anyone. If this gets out it will wreck everything for Gabriel. It’ll destroy him!’
‘Then you’d better think very carefully about any decisions you make from now on, Katy.’
Hey? That’s not Frankie’s voice. I must have overindulged in the champagne and am actually snoring in a drunken heap somewhere, because unless Frankie can add ventriloquism to his list of talents, I would swear
that it was James who just spoke.
There’s a rustle from behind the lilac trees and a black shape materializes.
I am having a weird trip. Not only have I spent the evening kissing Ollie, but now Darth Vader has appeared in my godmother’s garden. I’m bitterly disappointed. I’ll wake up in a minute, Ollie will still be with Nina and I’ll still be eating my heart out in Cornwall.
Bummer.
‘Arrgh!’ squeaks Frankie. ‘Who’s that?’ and he jumps to his feet, tipping me off the bench and smack on to the gravel.
Ouch. I’ll be picking it out of my knees for weeks.
Guess that means I am awake then.
‘Do you know,’ says Darth Vader, slowly peeling off his mask, ‘I often find that you learn some very interesting things when you skulk in bushes. People tend to be very indiscreet. ‘ He shakes his head and a lock of dark hair falls over his eyes. ‘Hello, Chubs,’ says James, ‘fancy seeing you here, and Frankie too.’ He looks us up and down and raises an eyebrow. ‘Very… interesting.’
I gulp. Just how much has he heard?
‘You’ve got exactly five seconds to fuck off,’ Frankie says, in a voice tight with emotion. ‘Otherwise I’m going to give you such a pasting that you’ll be shitting teeth for weeks.’
‘What with?’ sneers James. ‘Your handbag?’
‘He’s not worth it,’ I say. ‘Calm down.’
‘Calm down?’ Frankie sounds like he’s ready to show Vesuvius a thing or two about erupting. ‘He spies on us and eavesdrops and you think I should leave him alone? After all he’s done to you?’
He steps forward and James takes a hasty pace backwards, stumbling a little over his robes. Not very Dark Side of him.
‘This isn’t about Katy,’ says James quickly. ‘But I’m fascinated by your little romance. Who’d have thought Gabriel Winters is a faggot? Not quite the image he wants to create, is it?’
‘Right,’ snarls Frankie, ‘that’s it.’ And suddenly James is sprawling in the grass, blood dribbling from his nose.
Katy Carter Wants a Hero Page 33
