by Skyler Grant
“It’s not a horrible plan,” Walt said.
“How about this. How about instead of wandering into a group of drunk and horny boys while completely fucking naked, I just go steal some clothes from the camp first so I look like a villager instead?” Ashley said.
I never thought of that. I gave her my best smile. “I mean, if you want to go that way instead. Sure.”
“Horny idiot,” Ashley said, and stormed off back towards the direction of the camp. I found a pebble that had broken off from the nearby wall and focused upon it. I felt the thrum of that divine power within me, a faint connection to Yvera that never faded, and I projected that into the stone.
“You really should stop thinking about Ashley in that way,” Walt said. “Your love life is complicated enough already. Besides, she’s not scary enough for you.”
“It’s not intentional,” I said, as I felt the divine magic seep into the stone. It took on a faintly reflective sheen. “I really don’t have the type you think I have.”
Walt gave me the look that one gives to an idiot and I wondered if he knew something that I didn’t. It took about ten minutes for Ashley to return and she’d already changed into peasant clothing. Her arms were loaded down with her armor and one of her daggers, she must have kept the other. The worn cloth revealed her curves more than the leather armor and I reflected that Walt was probably right. I really did need to stop having these sorts of thoughts.
I offered Ashley the stone. “I think you’ll just need to will it to invoke.”
Ashley snatched it out of my hand. “You couldn’t enchant anything more badass?”
“What would you have preferred? It was right there. It worked.”
“You have a drinking horn. You could have a drinking horn of water blessing. Instead I’ve got a holy pebble,” Ashley said.
Okay. A drinking horn would have been more badass.
Ashley gave me no chance to give a reply as she faded from sight.
“Besides, it’s not like I fantasize about Ashley constantly,” I said to Walt. “I mean sure I do occasionally, but that’s normal right?”
“Stealth is not a teleport. I’m still here,” Ashley said from the air nearby.
“We need to get you a bell of some kind,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m sure that is fantasy number one,” Ashley replied. “Heading out now.”
It is a strangely agonizing sort of sensation to wait on her. It’s one thing to put yourself in danger, it’s another thing entirely to wait around while someone else puts themselves in peril on your behalf. Sure we’d rush in, if she called for help and damn the odds, but in that case things would have already gone seriously wrong.
I couldn’t tell whether it had taken longer than expected or if waiting made the time drag on, but it seemed hours before Ashley was finally fading back into view near us.
“Success?” I asked.
“I’ll tell you all about it. Let me get changed back into my armor. Liam, turn your back and if you peek I swear I’ll stab an eye out,” Ashley said.
“I’ve seen you naked,” I said. “We’ve all seen each other naked. We entered the game together naked.”
“You haven’t seen me since some charisma buffs. Turn your back,” Ashley said. With a grumble I complied and soon enough heard the sounds of her getting dressed from behind me. Man. Charisma buffs, I really wanted to peek.
“Why don’t you have to turn?” I asked Walt.
“Because I’m not a sex-obsessed pervert with a variety of strange fantasies. In fact, I don’t give a damn,” Walt said. “That sort of thing matters.”
Ashley told us, “The bandits are way more alert than I expected in there. I counted twelve inside in addition to the three outside. They caught me twice, the outfit was a really good idea,”
“You blessed the booze?”
“The pebble of intoxication worked like a charm. We’ll see how plastered they get on crazy-bitch juice.”
“You are just all about the names today,” I said.
“There is a lot of time to think, when you’re trying to be stealthy,” Ashley said. “You can turn back around.”
I did and saw she was back into her usual armor with the pair of daggers at her sides.
“Now I guess we wait,” I said, and the other two nodded. More waiting. That’s the bad thing about devious plans, they require patience. Rushing in was a lot more fun.
A few hours passed and from within the inn we heard some unexpected sounds, the ring of steel upon steel. Somebody was fighting.
The guards on duty looked at each other and rushed inside.
Ashley faded from view and I heard the slightest rustle of her steps as she hurried towards the inn. She was only gone a few minutes this time, before returning and breathlessly saying, “Oh, this is great. Young guys and powerful booze, the whole lot are just standing around the kegs ready to murder each other.”
“That is everything we hoped for,” Walt said. “Do we just let them take care of themselves?”
I snagged another pebble and focused upon it, slipping it to Ashley.
“What is this one for?” Ashley asked.
“Smite. I want you to get in there and use it on the booze.”
“I like it. We get a big fireball and a bunch of burned drunken idiots,” Ashley said.
“It will set the building on fire,” Walt said.
“We don’t want to lose the loot,” Ashley said.
“We can kill them off quick and put out the fire. They’re drunk off their asses, already injured, and will most likely be on fire,” I said. “We pick them off as they leave. How many ways out of the place, Ashley?”
“Two. Front door and a kitchen exit in the back. I can take that one, if you two can handle this one,” Ashley said, before she faded from view.
I moved towards the front and it wasn’t long until there was the sound of a large whoosh from inside and the ground trembled. How much booze did they have in there?
Dimensional Tremor
A panicked-looking bandit made his way out the front door, half his hair on fire, then Walt’s spell caught him and flung him backwards into several others following behind.
Smite
Smite
I threw a series of smite spells into the doorway, each resulting in a pillar of fire. I was casting blind here, but convinced that someone would be trying to leave and certain my flames would catch someone.
Judging from the agonized screams the pillars of fire weren’t wasted. These were the third humans I’d killed since entering the game world. The other two had been heroes. I wondered if I felt less bad about these, because they weren’t the good guys—or if I was simply becoming used to murder. Comfortable in slaughter. A part of me thought that I should be horrified by what I was doing, but the larger part was just satisfied the plan was coming together so well.
Backstab
I was wondering where Ashley had come from when I saw that prompt appear—and felt an agonizing sensation exploding through my chest. A good half my health bar was gone in an instant.
Dirt Kick
I turned around. Walt was clutching at his eyes. There was a man in his mid-thirties, wearing dark chain mail and holding a bloodied mace in one hand. He seemed to be on fire, how had someone on fire managed to sneak up on me?
Barton the Brute
Level 10: Type: Human HP: 70/210
Once a guardsman but now the leader of Barton’s Boys this man lives up to his cruel and violent reputation.
“Burning my boys alive, not gonna stand for that,” Barton said with a growl as he jammed backwards with his elbow. With a squishy thud it made contact with Walt’s throat.
Breathstealer
I drew Intemperance and flames burst into life wreathing the sword. “You should really take out the caster first.”
“Taking him out second seems to have worked just fine,” Barton said.
“I meant more in a general strategy sense.”
�
��Not out to win, don’t have the numbers anymore. Just wanted to send a message to the one in charge,” Barton said as I charged him. He caught my blade between his crossed daggers and spun out of the way.
“What message is that?” I asked, bashing at him with my shield.
“You won’t see me coming,” Barton said, and with a shadowy shimmer was gone.
Rogue’s Retreat
Well, that was just great. I suppose I had something to look forward to in the future. Inside the burning inn the agonized screams had stopped.
QUEST COMPLETED
Banditry
You came, you saw, you burned alive. Do you solve all your problems with fire?
“Problem?” Ashley said, as she faded into view and nearly stopped my heart in the process. I decided then and there I’d had enough of stealth mechanics.
“Urgghh,” Walt said, still not having caught his breath from the blow to his windpipe, I had to give this to Barton, he knew how to incapacitate a caster.
“Barton the Brute,” I explained. “He got away.”
“Fuck,” Ashley said. “How did he get past two of you?”
“Because stealth classes are overpowered,” I said. “Why do you think? Did any get out the back?”
“Please, I’m too good for that. The fire is already too intense to put out. We’ll need to wait for it to burn out and see what loot we can scavenge.”
“The refugees will probably want to scavenge what they can as well.”
Ashley pulled a face. “Fuck them. They had their chance. If any of them had wanted in, we’d give them a cut even if they didn’t pull their weight. They sat back, they don’t get shit.”
I considered this and understood her point. I didn’t like it any more than she did that they had sat back and done nothing, while we risked our lives.
“Agreed?” Ashley asked.
They were helpless, terrified and they had kids. I might be a bad guy, but I wasn’t going to be that kind of bad guy.
“A lot of the loot was probably stolen from the refugees originally,” I said. “We’ve earned a cut, but we’ll leave them what we don’t need.”
The loot was better than expected. I wasn’t keeping track of our finances, but Ashley seemed well pleased at even our portion of the coin. Apart from that, she found a new set of black leathers that clung to her like a second skin, not only was it appealing but it made her look deadlier than ever.
I replaced my rusting and ancient plate mail with a fresh set of chain. Heavy armor should theoretically afford more protection, although I was more mobile in medium. In this case the chain even had a better armor value, so it was something of a no-brainer.
Bandit’s Chainmail Set
AC: 300 Type: Uncommon
Worn Position: Legs, Arms, Chest, Hands, Head, Feet
Set Bonus: Limber: The wearer will recovery from movement impairing effects 25% faster.
The ability to move quickly is vital in banditry and even their heavy fighters tend to keep that in mind. This set has been specially constructed to leave joints limber while still affording solid protection.
The foodstuffs we left for the refugees. I desperately wanted something besides fungus, but we had our travel supplies and it wasn’t that much further to the coast. We’d just have to make do until we got there.
CHAPTER SIX
When we were done picking over the burned remains of the inn we set off. The refugees moved in behind us to pick over the structure. They were overjoyed with what we left for them and our hands got shaken quite a lot as we left. I again encouraged them to brave the darkness and make their way to Sardonis Castle. Between my charisma and our deeds many appeared convinced.
Now that we’d left the perpetual darkness behind we traveled faster, although we still had to stop frequently to scout out structures. The farther we got from the castle, the more civilized things became, the deserted ruins giving way to small villages. The Kingdom of Galea wasn’t dead and abandoned, but clearly what had once been its heart was now a cursed castle few chose to live near.
It took two days to reach the coast. We set camp each night and rotated the watch, but fortunately danger seemed to be in short supply. I was starting to seriously regret that none of us was a ranger, they likely could have foraged us some sort of better food. Instead, we were limited to what we had from the castle.
Every so often there would be a branch off the main road. These we ignored until, as we came to one junction, I felt a sharp bite to my neck and a spider scuttled down my arm back and forth—indication one direction of the fork. Maria was our ally and the Queen of spiders and even though she had headed east in search of her mother the spiders continued to play messenger for us. I didn’t speak spider, but of course Elsora did, this must be a message from her to change our destination.
“A spider just told me to take the fork,” I said.
“Now you’re talking to them too?” Ashley asked.
“We’re more on a bite-and-point level,” I said. “I wonder if this means Elsora got us a ship?”
“If she did, why wouldn’t it have put in at Vala?” Walt asked. “That would be where proper docks are.”
“Let’s find out.” I spurred my horse forward.
It was a pleasant ride on a warm summer day, the terrain lightly forested. The side road narrowed until soon it became little more than a winding trail through the woods. Finally we broke free of the trees and got our first glimpse of the coast.
For the most part it was rocks, a beach pebbled with dark stones, and the water a bleak grey. Some distance off shore there was a heavy warship, three masts bearing sails of blue and white. A longboat was ashore with three sharply dressed men and two women standing near it. They wore uniforms of some sort, green and grey with brilliantly polished brass buttons.
“Hold it right there,” A perfectly put-together, white-haired older man said. “Who are you and what do you want here?”
I would have preferred they started by giving that information themselves. What was it about a uniform that interfered with proper introductions? Still, I’d had the spiders tell me this is where I was supposed to be, while I guessed they had no such guide.
“Liam Ottani, King of Genea and his companions, Walt and Ashley,” I said.
The man looked over our party and didn’t seem terribly impressed. I couldn’t blame him. With his sharp uniform and perfect grooming he looked considerably more noble than we.
I accessed my inventory where I had been keeping safe the royal signet and withdrew it, offering it for inspection. The man gestured to one of the young woman standing nearby and she advanced to study it, before performing a formal bow that was instantly adopted by the rest of the sailors.
I didn’t get this sort of respect in my own castle. It was both uncomfortable and exhilarating.
“Majesty,” The man said. “I am Lieutenant Javos, second in command of the Ebon Star, sailing for the Free Merchants of Theys.”
“Lieutenant,” I said, attempting to sound as formal as possible despite honestly feeling lost by it all. “We expected to meet you in Vala.”
“We’d have been happy to put in there, had your port not opened fire on us as soon as we drew near—despite our flying the proper colors,” Lieutenant Javos said, primly disapproving.
“Understood, Lieutenant. I’m pleased your ship is safe. Some confusion clearly happened at the sight of an armed ship. It is a situation I’ll see addressed,” I said.
They helped transferring our supplies to the longboat and I unsummoned my mount. Walt and Ashley let theirs go free.
These sailors looked a good bit fancier than anything I might have expected, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t efficient. They quickly got us out into the water and began working the oars.
The longboat made fast time across the water. The Ebon Star was massive. I had wondered what sort of trade ship the Traders would send, but this was nothing of the sort—this was a ship of war. The sides seemed to be en
tirely crafted of cannon ports.
We came to the side of the ship and a ladder was thrown down. One of the sailors climbed up first before waving it was safe for us to follow.
The ship was a marvel of brass and dark polished wood. The Lieutenant clambered up behind us.
“I must ask Lieutenant, are all your vessels like this?” I said.
“The Ebon Star is the finest vessel in the fleet,” Lieutenant Javos said, proudly. “Ninety-eight guns.”
Walt and Ashley looked to be as impressed as I was, it was rare to see them to agree on anything. If there was going to be consensus on anything, I was glad it was on how deadly our new allies were.
“You must really hate pirates,” I said.
“With a passion, Your Majesty,” Lieutenant Javos agreed. “They are a scourge to be exterminated. We were already in these waters hunting. When the council heard of your intentions they dispatched us to assist.”
The Lieutenant paused as a young man came up to him and they exchanged a few quiet words.
“Ensign Solos here will show you to your quarters,” Lieutenant Javos said. “The Captain extends an invitation to join him for dinner in his quarters in about an hour.”
My stomach rumbled at the thought. Finally, a proper meal.
“We’d be delighted,” I said. “Ensign Solos, lead the way.”
We were guided below decks. Although I had never been on a ship, I had the expectation that it would be cramped, but to my surprise the suite I was led to rivaled my one in the castle in size and surpassed it in opulence. Thick velvet pillows were everywhere in a rainbow of hues, with straps attached to help hold them in place.
