Controlling Darkness (The Control Series Book 4)

by Anna Edwards

  CHAPTER TEN

  Matthew

  "Are you sure you’re ready for this? She is different from the girls we have played with before." Matthew watched as James signed the papers and handed them back to him.

  "As sure as you are that you’re ready for marriage."

  "Point taken. I won't interfere anymore. I like her, Amy likes her a lot as well. We both know that she has issues, and you aren’t exactly Mr Sunshine, but I think you’ll be good for each other. Just make sure Amy is the number one priority."

  "You know I will always do my job!"

  "Good. I want to get back to my girl. I think I have a couple more things I want to explore with her."

  "I am surprised you both haven't got chafing!"

  Matthew strode out of his villa with James in front of him.

  "Jealous?"

  "You maybe my boss but I don't think Amy would mind if I smacked you in the face for disrespect. We all know she wears the trousers now!"

  Matthew turned his head and saw Sonia stumbling out of James and Amy's villa. She was deathly pale and shaking all over. She bent over and was violently sick everywhere.

  "What the.... Sonia?" The last word was shouted out.

  She looked up at him before she collapsed right in front of him. Matthew's legs were moving before his brain had even engaged. James was beside him as they both leapt over the small fence separating the villas. Amy ran out and straight to Sonia, but Matthew pulled Sonia into his arms.

  "She is burning up." The unconscious form in his arms felt like fire.

  "I will get a doctor. Take her to her room. Amy, help Matthew cool her down." James jumped up and sped towards the reception.

  Matthew scooped Sonia up and ran towards his villa. Amy followed and turned the air conditioning up higher to cool the room. Matthew's head was scrambled. What was going on?

  "What did you say to her?" He snapped at Amy.

  "Just a little advice. Nothing to cause this. Matthew, this is a fever. We need to get her out of these clothes."

  "I can't!"

  "Then go and wait for James and the doctor because I am going to!" Amy didn't wait for Matthew, she tried to pull Sonia up to remove her jacket. She was struggling.

  "I will hold her up." He took Sonia and held her still as Amy removed her jacket.

  "Matthew, I am going to remove her shirt as well."

  He nodded and averted his eyes. "Amy, tell her I didn't look."

  "I will Matthew. Don't worry. Once she is cool, then she’ll be all right."

  "Thank you."

  "You can lay her back down. Keep facing the other way. I am going to take her trousers off."

  Matthew did so, and as Amy covered her top half with a sheet, he turned away. He wouldn’t see her in the flesh until she agreed to it.

  He waited till Amy said he could turn around, but all he heard was a loud gasp.

  "Amy?"

  Sonia must have woken up because he heard her scream.

  "Get off me. Get out!"

  "Sonia. You’re awake? Are you okay!"

  "Get out, both of you get out!"

  "What?" Matthew wasn't keeping his back to her anymore; he turned around. She was huddled up and had pulled the sheet all around herself. She was still sweating, but this time, she was paler. "Amy?"

  Sonia was looking straight at her friend; Matthew could see the absolute terror in her eyes. Amy was moving her mouth, but nothing seemed to be coming out. The door opened behind them, and James and a doctor ran in.

  "Miss Anderson?"

  Matthew pointed to Sonia.

  "I understand you fainted, and Mr North tells me you’ve a fever. Can I take a look?"

  "No!" Sonia scrambled further up the bed. "I got hot. It is hot out today, that’s all. I feel much better. Please, an hour’s rest and I will be all right."

  "You won't." Amy whispered the words, but Matthew heard them.

  "Amy, what is going on?" James came to Amy's side and wrapped his arms around her.

  "Sonia, I have to tell them."

  Sonia was crying now.

  "What is going on?" He shouted and thumped his fist down on a nearby cupboard. Sonia startled and turned her head to him. "Show me?"

  She didn't say anything, just let the sheet fall. Her eyes went blank. Matthew looked down to her legs. Criss-crossed patterns of scars rose from both her thighs. One of them looked red and angry. It was new. And it was infected. Matthew's mouth went dry.

  Pondicherry. The bathroom. It all hit him. He left her, and she had cut herself. He stumbled backwards, bumping into the wall and sliding down it. Sonia shut her eyes and let the tears fall.

  "Amy." James' voice cut through the silence. "The doctor will see to Sonia. Come on. We should go back to our room and let him work." Matthew watched them both leave. He got to his feet as the doctor came over to Sonia.

  "Was the razor blade clean Ma'am?"

  "It wasn't sterile." She looked over to him, "Mr Carter had used it for shaving." The bottom fell out of his world. She had used his razor.

  The doctor placed a thermometer into Sonia's ear. "Your temperature isn't as bad as I expected it to be. I suspect the heat contributed to your fainting. You do have an infection, though. I will clean up the cut and give you a shot of antibiotics. When do you leave?"

  "Tomorrow."

  "You should be fit to fly. I will come and check on you before you do. When you return home, you must go straight to a doctor and get it checked again. Ma’am-- you need to look at counselling as well. That is important."

  "I have a counsellor."

  "Mr Carter, you’re responsible for this woman?"

  Matthew was listening to the conversation but struggling to take everything in.

  "Yes, I am."

  "She’ll need rest and plenty of fluids today. Try to keep her cool but don’t use cold water on her. It can do more harm than good."

  "I will."

  They sat in silence as the doctor did his work. When he was finished, Matthew placed the sheet over Sonia and followed the doctor out.

  "Will she heal?"

  "She has lots of old scars. She has been doing this for a long time. The one she opened is probably her 'go to' cut. The one she uses when desperate. Do you know why she did it?"

  "I have a good idea."

  "Talk to her about it. It is all you can do, at the moment."

  "Thank you, doctor."

  "If she gets worse, call me. I will sort the bill with Mr North."

  Matthew nodded and went back inside.

  "Sonia." She looked over at him. "Start explaining."

  "Should I go back to my room?"

  "You even go try to go back to your room, and I will tie you to that bed, and we will remain here till you decide to talk!"

  She made sure the sheets covered every inch of her body. "I cut myself. I have done it since I was a kid. I am a freak. Don't worry, I know what you’re going to say."

  "How do you know what I am going to say?"

  "Because I have heard it all before."

  Matthew pursed his lips together. He grabbed the end of the sheet and pulled it off her.

  "Matthew!"

  "Quiet. You don't have permission to speak. You’ll listen to me."

  "I don't have permission to speak?"

  "Silence, or I will put you over my knee and spank that beautiful little arse till you can't lay on your front or back. I have seen the way you watch James do it to Amy. I know that every time you do, you disappear to get yourself off."

  She didn't say anything, just made herself small like she was trying to hide.

  "You were passed between different foster homes, told you were a troublemaker, and you believe it. It caused you to feel pain, so you decided to start cutting yourself to get a pain of a different kind. Am I right?"

  "Yes." Her voice was mouse-like in reply.

  "You’re not well enough now for me to show you a different way of releasing pain when you’re stressed, but when we ret
urn to England and the doctor has given you all clear I will be showing you. And Sonia, don't think I mean that I will have sex with you. I will not do that till I believe you’re ready for it and you agree." It suddenly hit him, of course, it made complete sense. "You’re a virgin."

  Sonia whimpered and placed her head in her hands.

  "Yes."

  Matthew couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited by that thought; he would be the first one to be with her.

  "Okay we will discuss correcting that when you’re better. I have to show you what you’ve been missing out on."

  "Matthew, you don't have to do this."

  He let out a gravelly breath. He was at the end of his tether with her self-deprecation.

  “Lay back on the bed!” The commanding tone was back, and though Sonia hesitated at first, she did as commanded. Matthew pulled his shirt over his head and climbed next to her on the bed.

  "Don't move." She swallowed down a gulp as Matthew brought his lips down to hers. She was the best taste he had ever had. Slowly he moved his mouth over her jaw, down the slender column of her neck and across her shoulder blade. He lowered her bra strap and pulled her right breast out of her bra. Her nipples were the perfect mix of pink and brown. He pinched the tip, and she moaned.

  "Pain can also be pleasurable. Remember red if you want me to stop."

  She nodded at him.

  "I need to hear that you understand Sonia."

  "Yes, Sir."

  "Good girl."

  He lowered his mouth again, travelling down her body, savouring every inch of her flesh. He stopped at her thighs and looked back up at her. Sonia's eyes were wide.

  "Every inch of you is beautiful." And he pressed delicate kisses to her scars. He put his nose against the delicate fabric of her pants and took a long inhalation. He carefully pulled her pants down. She was completely shaved. His cock leapt.

  He parted her labia and ran a finger down from her clit to the entrance of her moist pussy. She instinctively shut her legs.

  "I know you’ve brought yourself to orgasm before. This will be no different, just more intense."

  She opened her thighs, and he traced his finger over her again. This time, he tested her entrance and pushed a finger slowly in. She was so tight. He circled his thumb over her clit, teasing the sensitive nub from its hood. She was fantastic. Her breath quickened. He flicked his finger over her clit again as he pressed another finger inside her and bent his head to kiss the scars on her legs again. She arched her back and exploded around him. Her pussy clamped down on his fingers as she rode her waves of pleasure.

  He was her salvation, and she would be his. In that instant he knew it.

  As she came down from her climax, Matthew withdrew his fingers and brought them to his mouth. She tasted so sweet, just a hint of tanginess. He pulled her knickers back up and corrected her bra. Sonia was exhausted; the fever and the orgasm had wiped her out. He placed the sheet over her. And sat beside her on the bed as she settled herself and closed her eyes.

  She drifted to sleep, and Matthew stayed by her side.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Sonia

  Three months later.......

  "How was he today?" Sonia entered the bedroom that she now shared with Matthew and placed her bag down on the oak table.

  "He managed to shave this morning and then locked himself in his office to work. I took him a tray of food, but when I went back an hour later to collect it, he had only taken a little bite of the sandwich." Matthew replied to her as he lay on the bed, his arms propped behind his head. The look of boredom on his face told Sonia everything she needed to know. Ever since Amy had left James, Matthew had become increasingly frustrated with his job. It had taken a month before James even left his bed after he was shot, and he still wasn't the same man. Sonia and Matthew had discussed finding Amy and talking to her, but they agreed it was probably best to leave them to sort out everything for themselves.

  "Miranda is anxious about him. She was quiet when we were shopping."

  "I know. Sophie should be here later today, so hopefully, that will help. He always seems to brighten up when his sister is around."

  "I hope so. Do you want to watch over Miranda tomorrow, and I will stay at home with James?" When Amy had left, Sonia had been assigned to protect Mrs North instead. She suspected it was James’ way of making sure she still had something to do. "I can't promise you it will be a thrilling engagement, but she does have the talk at the art museum tomorrow. Some of the attendees always make me chuckle."

  "No, I will stick with James. I will try and force him into the office tomorrow for an hour or so. At least that will get him out. I am sure I can make up some excuse to get him there."

  Sonia removed her trousers and placed them in the linen basket that she had brought to try and tidy up Matthew's room a little bit. For such a disciplined man, he had a terrible habit of leaving his worn underpants on the floor. She reached for a pair of yoga pants. "Are you forgetting the rules?"

  Sonia stopped with half a leg into the pants. "Sorry?"

  "We are alone in our rooms."

  "Your body and your soul are both beautiful. When we are alone you know you’re not supposed to wear clothes so you can realise that."

  "I thought you would want dinner."

  "Depends on what you’re serving?" His voice turned gravelly and dominant.

  She stepped back out of the pants and placed them on the side, her shirt, bra and knickers joined them.

  "That is much better. Come here." He moved to the end of the bed and opened his legs wide as he beckoned her.

  Sonia couldn’t argue with that look, when his eyes went dark, and he looked at her like she was a delicious dessert to savour.

  She came between his legs and he pressed his head against her breasts. He didn't move. She could just hear him inhaling her scent, and feel his warm breath against her tender flesh. He pulled back and ran a hand over the healing scars on her leg and dropped a kiss on them before letting out a long sigh.

  "He is dying on the inside. I don't know what to do to save him. I feel useless."

  "You’re doing all you can. Mr North and Amy just need time. We will give them another few months, and then we will spur them along a little bit." Sonia got down on her knees and leant her head into his lap. He stroked her hair, his thick digits running through the soft tendrils.

  "I love you, Sonia. Don't ever leave me."

  "I have no plans to, Matthew. Who else will, or even could, make me feel beautiful like you do?"

  "Are you doubting again?"

  She shook her head.” I know what happens when I do. Although maybe...."

  "Deliberate antagonism doesn't get you a spanking, my dove."

  "Why a dove?" She looked at him with a querying expression.

  "Because you’re learning to fly."

  She liked that idea.

  "Matthew, Sonia." A knock and Miranda's voice at the door.

  "Get on the bed and in position. I will be back in a minute."

  Sonia jumped eagerly onto the bed as Matthew disappeared. She listened to the voices coming from the hall.

  "I am sorry to disturb you. Sophie and Grayson are here already. His bodyguard is asking for you, and James won't come out of his office. Can you help?"

  "Of course. Give us five minutes, and we will both be there."

  "Thank you, Matthew."

  "No worries, Mrs North."

  Sonia got off the bed and put her clothes back on as Matthew returned to the room.

  "You heard everything then?"

  "Yes. Why won't he come out of his office?"

  "I don't know."

  Sonia grabbed her navy jacket off the side as Matthew swapped his Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans for a formal suit.

  "Do you want me to deal with Grayson's security detail, while you sort James?"

  They left their rooms together and headed down to the main section of the house in Knightsbridge.

  "I bette
r sort them. His bodyguard is a good man, but he can be a bit self-important. You go in and meet Sophie. You’ll like her."

  "Okay. Call if you need me."

  Sonia went to walk around the corner to the lounge, but Matthew grabbed her arm, her back landed against the wall as his body pressed against her and he drew a kiss from her lips.

  "Matthew Carter. You have a girlfriend?" The excited shriek came from behind them and they jumped apart. Matthew grunted out a cough as Sonia flushed.

  "Miss Sophie. May I introduce Sonia? She is your mother's bodyguard."

  Sonia raised her head and smiled as a woman jumped towards them and threw her arms around Matthew, first, and then Sonia.

  "Oh, my God. Come tell me all about yourself. How long have you been together?"

  Sophie linked arms with her and dragged her into the sitting room. Matthew winked a goodbye and headed off towards James' office.

  "Sophie, leave the poor girl alone." Miranda rolled her eyes as they entered.

  "How can I, mum? I mean, Matthew has a girlfriend. Sit, Sonia."

  A man with long black hair and American-Indian features came into view.

  "Sophie." His gravelly voice sounded just like Matthew's was when he was in dominant mode. "Come sit with me, and you can question Miss Anderson without making her feel like it is an interrogation."

  "You’re no fun." Sophie pouted at the man Sonia surmised was her fiancé.

  "Put your bottom lip away and sit or I will show you just how much fun I can be."

  "Will you spank me?"

  "Sophie, please." Sonia was sure Miranda turned green. “There are things a mother doesn’t need to know."

  "Sorry mum." Sophie finally sat down next to her fiancé, and he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder.

  "Miss Anderson. I am Grayson Moore, Miss North's fiancé. It is a pleasure to meet you. Miranda has been telling us about how you’ve become a valued member of the protection team. How long have you been here now?"

  "Only six months."

  "You helped rescue Mrs North when she was taken?"

  "I did."

  "Thank you on Sophie's part for that."

  Sonia found it a little strange that Sophie was no longer speaking and Grayson was dictating the conversation. She was sure she could say thank you on her own.