His eyes widened and he leaned back, gaping at my reaction. “Rena…”
“Last night, you said you wouldn’t give me a reason to run away—well, I’m not giving you one, either! You’re not a monster, and you don’t deserve to live like this. It’s bad enough you have to deal with the damn headaches every day. This.” I grabbed his hand and held it up. “This should be something you can get past. I know it’s going to be hard, but,” I paused, finding little humor in what I was to say next, “you’re strong.”
Chapter Thirty-One
It was late—early, even—but I felt like we were onto something. If physical contact caused him that much discomfort, he’d gone without it too long. No wonder he couldn’t gauge how much pressure to use. When was the last time he’d let himself get close to someone, let alone a human?
Wallace stared at our hands together for a moment, shaking his head. “It’s not that simple.”
“It can be,” I countered, pressing his palm to my thigh. “You just need to start slow. You know, baby steps…”
“Look, I get what you’re trying to do, but this isn’t going to—”
“It’ll be fine,” I reassured him, feeling more tired by the minute. “Just try.”
“How do you know?” His gaze bored into mine, searching, almost pleading. “How can you be so sure?”
I frowned. “Do you want to hurt me?”
“Of course not.”
“Then think about that.” I slipped my hand in his before he could protest. “Let’s try a handshake. We did it once before. Remember? It lasted all of two seconds.”
“Rena,” he warned.
I squeezed until my knuckles lost their color. “Come on. You’re giving me a complex.”
“I really don’t wa—”
“Please,” I added, pouting my bottom lip. It was an underhanded, feminine tactic, but I needed the advantage here. “I want to try this.”
“You’re insane,” he grumbled, slipping into deep concentration mode as he grasped my hand. “There. Happy?”
“Mhm!” I forced my lips back into a smile. The pain wasn’t devastating—kind of like when you’re getting your blood pressure taken. There’s always that one, brief second when you’re convinced the cuff is malfunctioning, and it’s going to do you in Boa constrictor style.
“You okay?” he asked in a skeptical tone.
“Totally,” I lied, projecting the happiest mojo I could muster. My thoughts drifted to puppies, tater tots, and…shoving Cole into traffic.
A spark of hope ignited in his eyes, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “Really?”
“Yes.” I grinned back despite the pain. Either my bones are about to snap or...gah!
He ripped his hand from mine and drew his brows together. “Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Don’t tell me everything’s fine and then panic about it.” He started to reach for my hand and hesitated. “Did I hurt you?”
I tucked my hand behind my back before he could see the marks he’d left behind. “I’m fine. Give me a little credit here.”
“Let me see it.”
“No.”
“Then we’ll do it this way,” he muttered, reaching across me. With a flattened palm, he guided my arm toward the front as if I were nothing more than a rag doll. My hand fell to my lap, swollen and flaccid against the white satin.
I was about to speak, when I felt his fingertips ghost over the palm of my hand.
His brow strained as he studied the darkened area, barely touching me at all. The trails he left tingled with electricity, making my heart beat faster and faster.
“See?” I swallowed. “Fine.”
The light danced across his features as he turned to me, eyes narrowed in scrutiny. “Are you?”
I knew I was in trouble the second I made eye contact. The connection sizzled through my veins like wildfire, heating every inch of my body. “No,” I whispered, hating how breathless I sounded.
“Me neither.”
The scent of rain enveloped my senses as he leaned in, his lips nearly brushing mine—but then he stopped. Confliction lined his mouth, and he turned away without a word of explanation; he didn’t need one.
Without realizing it, I’d let myself become his burden, my every move a liability. No wonder he didn’t know what to do with me. If I didn’t stay quiet about all this…
My mouth fell open. That was it. He was struggling, because he was forcing himself to act interested. He was trying to win my silence, through my trust.
“Rena?”
“It’s an act, isn’t it?” I asked, hearing the words with bittersweet detachment. “This whole thing between us.”
His chin pulled back, taut with defense. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to pretend you’re into me,” I said, hardening my heart against his wounded blue eyes. “I won’t tell anyone about you.”
“You think this is about you keeping my secrets?” Irritation marred his expression as he leaned over me again, bracing himself on the bed. “You’ll convince yourself of anything to find a reason to give up, won’t you? You just don’t want to admit you’re afraid.”
My back went rigid. “Excuse me? I’m not afraid of you.”
“Yes, you are,” he shot back. “You’re afraid of me and everything I’ve dragged you into. You’re not in control anymore, Rena. You’ve lost that white-knuckled grip on the wheel.”
“Oh, that’s really nice.” I seethed, fisting the sheets.
“Isn’t it?” He worked his jaw. “You can’t stand the fact that you can’t fix me. I bet you wish you’d never tried to make me one of your charity cases.”
“You’re not a charity case,” I spat. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Something dangerous flashed in his eyes, and he spoke with careful articulation, “Then don’t put words in mine.”
I could barely hear the TV over the hammering in my chest as we stared at each other, lost in a haze of aggression.
“You know what I think?” he finally asked, lowering his tone.
“What?”
“What you’re really afraid of is getting close to me.”
My jaw dropped. “That’s ridiculous.”
He leaned in, and I rocked back. “You think?”
I gave him a hard shot to the shoulder, narrowing my eyes. “Back off.”
He didn’t budge. “My point exactly.” Vertical lines creased between his brows. “Every time we start to relate on some level, you push me away. The same thing happened outside of the dorm, during the fire alarm. You think you’re the only one uncomfortable with this situation? Give me a break.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Do you think I like endangering you?” he asked, charging ahead with the conversation. “Do you find me so callous that you can’t believe I’d hate this situation? That it would make me sick? Someone hurt you because of me, Rena. Sometimes, I...” He gritted his teeth, never tearing his gaze from mine. “I wish we’d never met.”
The anxiety refused to settle in my chest, stinging my eyes and charging the air around us. “Yeah? Well, same here.”
A lie had never hurt me more.
Seconds ticked by, and his nostrils flared with barely restrained fury. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
He ground the heel of his palm against his temple, squeezing his lids shut. “I’ve been struggling, praying to find the will to stay away from you, but I just can’t do it. Now I’m getting mad at you, and I don’t even know why.” He clenched his jaw, and I couldn’t tell who he was angrier with—me or himself. “Everything’s so screwed up now. I just want you to be safe. I don’t care what happens to me.”
“What’s screwed up?” I asked, trying to catch my breath. “What do you mean?”
“Just forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I deflated like someone had pulled my plug. “If it involves me, I think I deserv
e to know.”
Some of the tension eased from his features as he opened his eyes to regard me, too tired to argue. “It’s about Sunday night, okay?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Panic pricked my senses. “What about it?”
“Cole wouldn’t tell me all of the details,” Wallace said. “But he said I should be prepared to help take care of things.”
“Take care of things? You don’t mean…?” My throat went dry. Oh God. “You can’t.” I shook my head until blond strands fell forward, obscuring my vision. “No.”
“I have to,” he said, his voice laced with quiet resignation. “I don’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I insisted, and when he didn’t respond, I spoke louder. “Did you hear me? There’s always a choice. You just have to make the right one.”
“And in the meantime, they’ll kill her!”
I blinked at the outburst, knitting my brows together. “So, you’ll kill them first?”
He looked away. “No.”
My stomach twisted into knots. There was no way I could let him give away his last shred of humanity. Not over something like this. “Listen...”
I had what was left of his attention.
“Why would someone be after your Grandma?” I asked, trying to walk through the situation. “Do you think it’s one of those thugs Cole went after? Someone looking for ransom? Maybe we should call the police. I mean, if he’s getting harassed—”
“It’s one of us.”
“What?”
“A Dynari—someone of my lineage. We’re not dealing with an ordinary human here, Rena. It’s dangerous.”
I flinched despite my best efforts to appear unaffected by his words. Because ordinary humans are such insignificant gnats that they couldn’t possib—
He must’ve sensed my turmoil, because he shook his head. “You,” he muttered, tucking one finger beneath my chin, “are anything but ordinary.”
I felt a rush in my cheeks as he held my gaze. “You’re touching me.”
“Baby steps,” he reminded me, his lips tugging into an almost-grin.
Damn it. Don’t melt me now...
“Okay, how about this?” I asked in an effort to distract myself. “If you’re worried about Clara, why don’t you just stay the rest of the weekend? Cole can scope out the meeting alone.”
“It’s not that simple.”
I wrinkled my forehead, waiting to hear the rest.
“Grandma refuses to have either one of us ‘underfoot’ Sunday night,” he explained. “She said if these people really wanted to kill her, they wouldn’t have announced it as a threat. They need something from us and, if we don’t show up, we’ll never know how desperate they are to obtain it.”
Who knew Clara was such a tough old broad?
His shoulders slumped. “I understand we need to learn what we’re up against, but Cole is on this paranoid kick that we’re going to get ambushed or something. And we have to leave Grandma behind. I just hate feeling...helpless.”
I touched his arm, hesitant at first, and then let my fingertips trail up his sleeve. “Then maybe you should let someone help you.”
His eyes sparked in the low light, and I felt smaller somehow, more vulnerable. “Is this the part where you push me away again?”
“No,” I whispered. “I’m done pushing you away.”
He leaned forward. “Good, because you’re the only person alive who could.”
I smiled at his attempt at a joke. “How about this? I won’t push, if you don’t.”
“It’s not the same thi—”
“Come on,” I urged. “Isn’t that fair?”
He thought about it, shook his head, and placed a chaste kiss on top of my head. “Goodnight, Rena.”
I swallowed hard. “You didn’t answer me.”
“You got me,” he said in a tired voice, moving aside. “I won’t push, if you don’t.”
Was he serious?
“Then I guess this is goodnight.” I stumbled over to my bed in a daze, unsure if I’d imagined the kiss or not. My heart was racing in my chest, like some stupid teenager with a crush. Of course, in my case, being crushed was a distinct possibility.
I shook my head and crawled beneath the covers. I needed sleep. Lots of it, if we were going to figure this thing out by Sunday night.
The next few hours, including a couple conscious ones, were nothing more than an exhaustion-ridden blur. Before I knew it, I was out on the sidewalk, filling my lungs with bitter, morning air. The sun had managed to escape the eastern horizon’s oppressive hold, only to surface beneath a screen of dull, puttied clouds. Man, I knew what that felt like.
“Promise me you’ll come back and visit sometime.” Clara pulled me into a quick hug, the scent of syrup clinging to her apron. “Under better circumstances next time, okay?”
“Oh, uh”—I glanced over at Wallace before pulling away—“sure.” It was a little strange hugging someone’s grandmother, wearing clothes I’d been abducted in the day before. Talk about bad first impressions.
“And you,” Clara turned her attention to Wallace, throwing her arms around his waist. “Come home more often.”
He stood motionless while she expressed her doting affection. “I will.”
The scene made my chest hurt. How long had she been waiting to feel her grandson’s embrace? Would he ever be able to express his love for her? Hell, would he ever be able to express his love for anyone? He looked miserable.
Before I could speculate any further, something cracked me on the behind, and I gave a little yelp. What the hell? A low whistle turned my head, and I saw Cole leaning against my car, dangling my keys with a smirk. “Gotta jet,” he announced, tossing them in my direction. “I need to make it over to my apartment, before I head to the office.”
I caught the lanyard with an awkward stretch, nearly missing the throw altogether. “Thanks.” Jerk.
“My pleasure.” He crossed the sidewalk and winked at me. “Maybe we can do this again sometime.”
My mouth twisted into a grimace, but I didn’t say anything. He was provoking me, and I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of a response. I’d just grin. I’d grin like an idiot.
He didn’t notice, brushing past me to wrap an arm around Clara. “And I’ll see you Wednesday night for pot roast,” he said, pulling her in for a hug. “Need me to bring anything?”
“Just your appetite, honey.” She patted his face, eyes creasing with grandmotherly pride.
Wallace looked uncomfortable, shoving his hands down into his coat pockets. “Well, we better hit the road. Long drive ahead.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay a little longer?” she asked. “I could bake something for the road.”
Wallace shook his head. “Thanks anyway, Grandma, but I’m sure Rena needs a little time to recover from everything. And I…well, you know.”
My hopes for pie died on the sidewalk. There went my grin.
“Well, you two be careful,” she said.
“We will.” He met her gaze with an apologetic smile, backing toward the street. “Bye.”
I took his cue and trotted to my car. “Thanks for having us!” I waved across the top, fiddling with my keys. To be honest, it hadn’t been a totally unpleasant experience. Sure, it was a little unnerving at times, but Clara had been hospitable. I couldn’t fault her for things out of her control.
“Here.” Wallace flanked my side and took the keys from my grasp. He found the slot and gave them a slight twist, opening the door. “Do you want me in front or behind?”
My face turned a thousand shades of red as he handed the keys over, and I climbed inside. Dirty mind, deactivate. “Y-You better lead. I don’t know how to get to the interstate from here.”
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll make sure you can follow me.”
“Better get a new phone this weekend.” Cole’s voice made me jump as he leaned over from the passenger seat, looking up at his brother. �
�I need you on call tomorrow.”
“Get out,” I yelled, shoving him toward the door’s opening. “How did you even get in here?”
He didn’t bother dodging in such close proximity, bracing himself with one leg out the door. “Relax, Rena,” he chuckled. “If you’re going to be my sister, you’re going to have to learn to deal with these things.”
“Are you insane?” I asked him before turning back to Wallace. “Is he insane?”
Wallace rubbed at his temples. “Probably. Cole, get out of the car.”
“You guys are so uptight today.” Cole held his hands up in mock defense, angling out of the car. “All right, well, I’ll be in touch one way or another. We have to—ow!”
Clara pulled Cole out by the ear, making him bend to stumble after her. “You do not just get into a young lady’s car without asking.”
“Sorry,” he hissed, scrunching his face up.
“Not to me. To her.” She used her strict voice as she pointed toward me.
I was afraid to laugh.
“Sorry,” he ground out, jerking away as she released him. “Man…”
She shook her head. “I raised gentlemen, didn’t I?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He heaved a sigh, rubbing at his reddened ear.
“Good. Now you better hurry along.” The warmth returned to her voice as she smiled, rubbing his back. “You don’t want to be late, do you?”
Apparently, real estate didn’t sleep in on Saturdays.
“Good point.” Cole straightened, his typical smirk back in place. “Later!” His image blurred and stretched down the sidewalk. Of course, I was the only one gaping. The other two were used to the supernatural; hell, they were a part of it.
Satisfied with her part in the matter, Clara shut the door, wiped her hands on her apron, and waved. “Be safe, kids!”
I waved back and patted my jeans to make sure everything was good to go. I had a long drive ahead.
“Are you ready?”
“Huh?” I turned around and blinked up at Wallace. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I pulled my legs in tight as he shut the door.
He raised a hand in acknowledgment and jogged back toward his truck.
Strength (Mark of Nexus #1) Page 20
