“No, not anymore. I gave her a sound spanking for thinking, and saying such things. I scolded her and explained what the purpose of a spanking was and that only very loved children get them.”
“I have to talk to her.” He turned to open the door, wanting to tell her that she was wrong. He didn't want a divorce but he didn't want her to say anything along the lines of them parting either.
“One moment, please,” Nanny said strictly.
Brian stopped. He turned and looked at Nanny with an eyebrow raised high at her audacity.
“I had to give her a very severe spanking that could have easily been avoided. I realize that you are my employer and I also realize that you love her very much. But I also know that I explained that if a person had time enough to spank then they should also have time enough to cuddle and console afterwards. You didn't and she felt very bad about herself and unwanted. That is something she can't handle and that she shouldn't have to anymore. She lived, with the certainty, that she wasn't wanted for years. I don't want her to ever be unsure again.”
He nodded at Nanny. Then went to his wife. She was in the dining room hovering by her chair. What was she up to now, he wondered?
***
I saw Daddy standing in the door. He had his arms crossed and he was leaning against the door frame. I sat down as quick as I could. The pain knocked the breath out of me. I kept my head down so no one could tell that I was in pain.
I heard Nanny sit down across from me. Daddy didn't sit down. I worked on controlling my breathing and once I had it regulated I looked up at Daddy who I guessed was very mad at me.
I met his eyes. He looked shocked at what I had done. His mouth even hung open. “Amelia,” he motioned with his finger that I should go to him.
I rose up from my chair and pushed it back into the table. I wasn't in a hurry to go to him. He could only want me to come because he felt I deserved more. We hadn't even been married a week and he was already so mad at me. Even if he did intend to keep me he must be regretting it already too. I walked towards him avoiding his eye. He turned and walked up the stairs. I followed him a couple of paces behind.
He opened the door to his bedroom. He held it open as I walked in. Just walking past him was scary. My heart was beating so loud that it pounded in my ears. I went to the foot of the bed and waited with my back to him. I heard the door close. I heard his shoes on the parquet and then he was on the rug and I couldn't hear him anymore. My heart sank deep within my body. I felt a sorrow and sadness gripping it. My head hung down even further. I heard the bed sag. He must have sat down on it.
“Come here, Amelia.” I could still hear the sadness in his voice.
The time had come. Nanny had warned me not to beg or complain. I lifted my head as little as necessary to see where he was sitting. He was on his side of the bed, facing my bedroom door.
I walked over to him and stood in front of him. I still didn't look him in the eye.
“Amelia, look at me.” His strict voice again.
I rose my head a little and brushed the hair that had fallen forward behind my shoulders. I was still having difficulties meeting his eyes.
Instead I was looking at the picture hanging on the wall behind him. It was of a boy dress all in blue with a lacy white shirt. He was standing in front of an open window. I guess it to be a couple hundred years old. I knew the mansion had been built in the early 1900's. It had probably been hanging there since. Before that it might have been in some european castle.
“Amelia!” His sharp tone made me jump.
I looked at him then. I couldn't place his expression. Maybe after a couple of years I would be better at judging his moods.
“Come here. I want you to lay over my lap.”
I nodded. That was just my luck, to have a Daddy who believed that Nanny couldn't spank hard enough. The truth was that Nanny's spanking had hurt far worse than Daddy's hand. But he had the strength to put her to shame if he wanted to.
I pulled all my courage together and sat down next to him. I took a deep breath and leaned in towards him and laid down on his knees. I was shaking a little again.
He moved me the way he wanted me. He helped me bring my legs up on the bed. I felt my dress being lifted up. As it went up and I could feel the cool air on the back of my legs and then on my bottom as he continued lifting it up. He laid the dress on my back and took hold of my underwear and rolled it down.
I tensed waiting for the first smack. Then I felt his fingertips on my bottom. Even that made me flinch and jerk away from him.
“Nanny got you good, didn't she?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
He repositioned himself and I felt my backside raise up high as his knee went up. I looked down at the floor. He had pulled out a step stool. His foot was now resting on it. He was probably getting comfortable for a long session. His hand was rubbing over my sore behind.
The first smack landed, echoing off the walls. I was still in pain from the last spanking. This smack had pushed me to the edge. I would probably fall over the edge with the next one. I'd be bawling like a baby then.
The next smack came down with such a force that my whole body was pushed forward.
“Please Daddy, stop, please Daddy. I'll be good forever and ever. I promise. Please stop.”
He didn't. The next smack came as soon as I stopped begging.
The begging hadn't helped at all. I bit into the blanket again. I didn't think I could survive this. I had gotten fifty spanks for staying up late and reading. This had been worse. Like a thousand times worse. Would he spank me a thousand times? Could a person die from a spanking? Probably not, but maybe I could pass out. I held my breath and hoped and prayed that I could pass out. It just stung so.
“Amelia!”
I nodded not able to speak and not willing to take a gasp of air. I was childishly holding my breath.
I felt a sharp slap on the middle of my back, knocking the air out of me. I gasped replacing it. Followed by many heavy breaths.
“Don't you ever try something like that again!” he yelled. “Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I sobbed over his knees.
The snacking continued. I gave up trying not to scream and just let go screaming for all I was worth, hoping that someone would hear me and come save me.
No one came and the spanking dragged on. I sobbed quietly defeated on his lap.
He stopped and turned me so I was sitting on his lap. The pressure of his leg and my weight pushing on my bottom was too much. I whimpered in pain, lifting my backside off of him and arching my back back. My breasts were right in his face. He held me in this odd position just staring at my still clothed breast. Oh no, he couldn't want to. More tears of worry, joined the tears from before.
He picked me up in his arms and turn and laid me down on the bed.
I couldn't stop crying. The sting was unbearable. My face was all red and I had my arms bent at the elbow with my hands laying over my heart as it raced. He stood over me watching me wither in pain. I wanted to roll on my side but I didn't know if I was allowed.
After many minutes my heart started to slow down and its rate decreased and my annoyance increased that he was watching me in my pain. Pain that he had inflicted.
He sat down on the bed then. “Do you remember that you asked me before we were married if I would eventually lose interest in you?”
I nodded, still unable to talk. The shaking was slowing down too now.
He reached for my face and held it in his open hand. “Do you also remember what I answered.”
I slowly and reluctantly nodded. I had looked him in the eye. That was a big mistake. He looked sad like, he felt sorry for me. In that moment all the guilt for what I had done flooded my soul. I was reminded of all the nice things he had done for me. I realized how hurt he must have been to hear what I had said.
I stretched my arms up to him. I wanted him to pick me up and tell me that he loved me. “Daddy.” With that one word, that I could get out,
I tried to say that I needed him. That I was so very sorry and that I would never do it again.
He turned away from me, stood and left. I heard the door lock as he left. After a couple of minutes I rolled up to sitting. I quickly jumped to my feet to escape the burn from my bottom.
I worried that I had ruined my marriage. Because I hadn't behaved I had changed things. This was my own fault. I had done something to ruin my marriage. I had had a good thing going but now that was over. I laid in bed sobbing and regretting my actions so much that I had cried myself sick.
I was replaying it over in my head again and again. I pictured myself closing the book after I had read the promised chapter and then joining daddy in bed. Everything would have been so much better if I would have just been good.
I felt so dizzy and sick as I stepped closer and closer to my door. I had to lean my hand on the door frame to support my weight as I took a needed break. I turned the knob. I exhaled in relief. The door wasn't locked. I went in and closed the door behind me. I had to lean on it for a bit until I regained the strength to continue. I pushed away from the door with the flats of my hands. I had to grab hold of my desk before I could continue. I had to concentrate to do the last several steps. It was a straight walk from my desk to the toilet. That was my goal. I needed to be sick so desperately. I had a terrible headache whose roots seemed to be coming from my stomach.
I raced to the bathroom with nonexistence strength, dropping to the floor next to the toilet. I wanted so much to vomit but nothing came. I hadn't eaten anything all day. I had nothing that I could throw up. But I honestly believed that that would have helped.
I gave up trying and laid down on the floor and cried. I wasn't even trying to be quiet. I wanted my Nanny to come and make everything better. I wanted her to tell me I was a good girl and that she loved me. I wanted her to bring me to bed and give me a kiss on my forehead. I wanted her to hear me crying and come to me.
I stared at her door. It didn't open and after a few moments I realized it wouldn't. It was Friday night. The weekend had begun. I was under his care now, tonight and then two full days. A fresh wave of tears flowed out of me, lapping against my broken heart.
Strong hands picked me up. My head fell against his chest. He carried me back to his bed. Great, after the effort it had taken just to get to the bathroom. He laid me down in bed again, only this time he laid me on my side and worked on undressing me.
Please, dear God, don't let him hurt me again. Please God, help me. I have nothing to offer you but please help me. I sobbed into the pillow in a silent prayer. He had me naked quickly. I was shaking in fear again. It was already getting dark outside. The temperature drop was noticeable. I shivered. My heart hurt almost as much as my bottom. I was so afraid of him. He was so much stronger than I was. I didn't have a breath of a chance. If he wanted to hit me, he could. If he wanted to rape me, he could. Was that why he had insisted on a virgin? That way he could be certain that I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Had this all been my fault or was it his? I was so unsure.
He rolled me on my stomach. I knew it. He wasn't finished.
He was making noises that I couldn't place.
I felt him sit down on the bed next to me. I felt him against my leg. What did he plan on doing with me now?
He laid both of his hands on my bottom.
I made a high pitched noise of protest that he ignored. He was applying some sort of cream to my bottom. It was cooling the only part of me that was warm at the moment. I buried my face into the pillow and cried.
“Shh, Amelia. My love, don't cry it's over. I'm here, sweetheart. Daddy's here. I'm not mad anymore.” He got up and went to my room. He came right back with my blankets. He covered me up and then he went into his bathroom. When he came back out he had his pajamas on. He pulled back his covers and got into bed.
“Here.” He handed me a handkerchief.
I slowly reached for it. When my hand got closer to his I snatched it and drew it under the blankets to me. I turned my head away from him and wiped my eyes and nose. I tried really hard to stop crying. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me blubber anymore.
“Amelia.”
I couldn't respond. My heart hurt too much even if my backside was smarting as much as ever.
“Amelia,” he said louder this time.
I was shaking again. Please, don't let him beat me again, I prayed. I felt so lost and alone. It had been a mistake to marry him. It had taken me less than a week to realize that. I had sold my soul to the devil without knowing it. I felt so sorry for myself.
I remembered reaching out to him and he just walked away. My sobs came even louder than.
I felt his weight shifting on the bed. He was coming closer to me. Why hadn't I just answered him. He was going to beat me for ignoring him. I pulled my head in like a turtle under my blankets.
He pushed them aside. “Amelia,” he pet my hair as he sighed. “My little angel, you were so brave. Daddy loves you so much. Please don't ever make me have to do that again. Be a good little girl.”
“Do you really love me?” I whispered.
“Yes, I really do. You are the most important thing in the world to me. I really want you to know how much I love you. I will never divorce you no matter how bad you are,” he laughed.
“No matter what?” I asked.
“No matter what.” He sounded worried.
“Even if I set fire to the rug, color on the walls and draw a mustache on the boy in the picture there?” I pointed to it.
“I'd spank the daylights out of you but I wouldn't divorce you.” He sounded playful now too. He was grinning again, like he usually did.
“You haven't had your dinner yet. You should go eat,” I said solemnly.
“Why do you want me to leave? So you can get started on the rug, the walls and the picture?” he laughed.
“No, Daddy, I wouldn't do that. I'm usually good, honest.” I started crying again.
“Hey, I know that. You are truly the best little girl in the world. You are Daddy's sweetheart. I know that you worry a lot about if I could truly want you but believe me I do. A life without you would be so sad for me. Don't ever leave me. Daddy doesn't even want to imagine that.” He moved in even closer to me. He cupped my breast with his hands. He played with the nipple for a while. I tried so hard not to shake in fear of him but my fear came crushing back over me.
He pulled my blanket back. He looked at me for a bit then he got up and came over to my side of the bed.
“I'm sorry but I have to think about this for a bit. I have to figure out the way that will hurt you the least.”
Oh God no, please no. Help me. Please I had never been happy in life. An unloved and unwanted baby. I truly disliked and hated child. My school years were horrible. The other girls all picked on me and made fun of me because I wasn't like them, and now this. Would I never know true love? I guessed I probably wouldn't. He was just thinking about himself.
“Can you get on your hands and knees, sweetheart?” He sounded excited, even eager.
I had begged before to absolutely no avail. Any request now would also fall on deaf ears. I had to obey. I had been stupid enough to vow that I would less than a week ago. I held my breath and tried to lift myself up like he wanted. I wasn't strong enough. Would he realize that I just wasn't strong enough?
“Let me help you.” He picked me up and laid me on top of the blankets. He bunched them up under my stomach. My backside was high in the air again. My face was pushing into the mattress.
I felt his hands on my hips. He was steading me. Then he pushed into me. He thrust into me carefully at first but as he got more and more excited he got rougher and rougher until his body was slamming into mine full force. I hadn't had anything to drink all day either, how could I have so many tears left in me. He went on for what seemed like forever. He called out my name and then collapsed on top of me. His weight pushed me down, pinning me where I was. I co
uldn't move and I could hardly breathe.
I had to runaway from him. The sooner the better. I had three hundred dollars hidden under a floorboard in my room back at my father's house. It hadn't seemed like much a couple of weeks ago but now I felt that it was more than enough for me to survive on. If I could get away from him and get that money. I could start a new life for myself. The life I should have started two weeks ago. If only I had been a bit braver. A thousand and one things that I could have done differently went through my head while he kissed me and told me that he loved me.
Finally he pulled out of me and went off to the bathroom. I tried and tried to get off of my blankets and get under them. I didn't want him to come back and see me with my bottom still up high.
There was nothing for it. I had to roll onto my backside and off the blankets, removing my weight form them to be able to get under them. I was panting in my effort but I managed it just in time. He came out and I pretended to sleep.
He sat down next to me on the bed. He rearranged my blankets and tucked me in lovingly. I pretended to stir a little as he did that. He kissed my forehead and left. He was probably going to get something to eat. It had been over twenty-four hours since I had last eaten anything. This was just like at my father's. I was so sad that my fingers were tingling. I mourned what could have been.
The signs had all been there from the beginning. I just hadn't known how to read them. I also remember my father saying that I couldn't come back no matter what. He had known why he wanted me. He hated me even more than I thought. I wished he would have killed me as a baby. He should have drowned me in the bathtub and claimed it was an accident. That would have been kinder than this. He had known that Brian wasn't right in the head.
Sick, that had been the word my father had said when Brian picked me up. He knew beyond a doubt and he let him take me anyway. A new sadness and self pity took me, ripping at my heart. I was the most unloved person in the world.
Chapter 10 Showing His True Self
Daddy's Sweetheart (Part 1) (Daddy's Sweetheart (Part1)) Page 10
