by Dilly Court
Chapter Sixteen
‘How could she do this to me?’ wailed Rosetta. ‘How could Ruby leave me at a time like this? The selfish bitch.’
‘Now, Rose, don’t go upsetting yourself,’ Billy said, kneeling down in front of her, anchoring her flailing hands in a firm grasp. ‘Think of the baby.’
‘I’m sick of the baby and I’m fed up with people telling me how to behave.’
‘I always said that Sarah was too soft on you,’ observed Granny Mole from her chair by the fireside. ‘A good slapping when you was little would have sorted you out, my girl.’
Pushing Billy away, Rosetta struggled to her feet. ‘You’re a nasty old woman and I hate you. I hate all of you, especially Ruby.’ Taking a step backwards and bumping into Elsie, Rosetta turned on her in a fury. ‘Get out of my way, you stupid girl.’
With a loud wail, Elsie fled into the scullery, almost knocking Sarah down as she came hurrying into the living room, her face crumpled into an anxious frown. ‘What now?’
‘It’s all right, Mother Capretti,’ Billy said. ‘Rose is missing Ruby, that’s all.’
Turning on him in a fury, Rosetta scowled at Billy. ‘I can speak for meself and I ain’t missing Ruby.’
‘You should be proud of her for what she’s doing,’ Sarah said, wiping her hands on her apron. ‘Ruby’s done a brave thing going out there to help our boys.’
‘She’s gone gallivanting off to South Africa. She should have stayed to nurse me when me time comes. I need her more than them blooming soldiers.’
‘You wouldn’t say that if it was Joe what got wounded in battle,’ Sarah said, casting an anxious glance at Billy. ‘Best take her upstairs to your room, Billy. She’ll do herself harm if she carries on like this.’
‘You’re doing it again; talking about me like I wasn’t here.’ Shrugging off Billy’s arm, Rosetta snatched up her shawl. ‘I need some air. I’m suffocating cooped up in this rabbit hutch.’
‘You can’t go out on a wild night like this,’ Billy said, barring her way. ‘Don’t be stupid, Rose.’
‘Get out of me way. I’m going for a walk and you can’t stop me.’
‘It gets them like this sometimes,’ Granny Mole muttered. ‘I seen it all before. She’s near her time, that’s for sure.’
Rosetta opened her mouth to scream and Billy held up his hands. ‘All right, Rose, have it your own way but I’m coming with you.’
Making a dive for the door, Rosetta stopped suddenly, doubling up and clutching her swollen belly. With one stride, Billy caught her in his arms, and helped her to a chair.
‘Told you so,’ Granny Mole said, grinning widely. ‘I ain’t never wrong.’
‘Get her up to bed, Billy,’ Sarah said, rolling up her sleeves. ‘I’ll send Elsie for the midwife.’
It was finally over, after what seemed liked hours of unimaginable pain and torture. Rosetta did not believe the midwife when she said that it was one of the easiest confinements she had ever attended. If that was easy, she thought, as she lay back exhausted against the pillows, then heaven help the poor souls who had a hard time. She took one look at the purple-faced, squalling morsel of humanity in the midwife’s arms and turned her head away.
‘Isn’t she beautiful, Mrs Noakes? You’ve got a lovely little daughter.’
‘I never seen anything so ugly. Take it away.’ Rosetta closed her eyes, wanting nothing but sleep. She heard Billy’s voice calling her name but it seemed far away. The midwife was answering him in hushed tones, telling him not to worry, that everything would be all right; it took a lot of new mothers that way. Mrs Noakes would be fine once she had had a rest. I’ll never be fine again, Rosetta thought, drifting into the oblivion of sleep.
She was up and about within days, refusing to stay in bed for the lying-in period. Sobbing with frustration when she could not get into her old clothes, Rosetta raged at Billy, blaming him for everything, but his tolerance and seemingly endless patience only made things worse. She would have given anything for a full-blown quarrel with someone, but they were all tiptoeing around her, being kind and understanding until she wanted to scream. Worse still, everyone in the house seemed besotted with the baby and even Granny Mole said she was a pretty little thing and good too, for a newborn. Apart from feeding her, which she did reluctantly and only because there was no immediate alternative, Rosetta had as little to do with her daughter as possible, leaving it all to Elsie and Sarah. The house was filled with clouds of steam from washing hanging up to dry in the scullery, over the backs of chairs and on a clothes horse placed in front of the fire. Rosetta could not get the smell of baby sick and soiled nappies out of her nostrils. As if having to feed the baby every two or three hours during the day was not bad enough, it seemed as though she had just fallen asleep when the mewling cry penetrated her dreams, dragging her back to the reality of broken nights and boring days ruled by the demands of a small tyrant. Trapped in a house full of women, Rosetta yearned for the bright lights and excitement of the theatre. She missed the gaiety and sharp repartee of the girls in the chorus, even Aggie Mills, and that was saying something.
Billy was out most of the time, insisting that he was doing an important deal but refusing to say anything more. He seemed so different now from the dashing figure he had been when she first met him; that Billy Noakes had been full of swank, a charming chancer with a twinkle in his eye. To make things worse, Rosetta knew she was behaving badly but somehow she couldn’t stop herself. If she had driven Billy away, then it was probably her own fault. Acutely aware that her figure had not yet returned to normal, Rosetta agonised about her lost looks, fearing that no man would look at her again but, when Billy reached out for her in bed at night, she turned her back on him.
The only sign that Christmas had been and gone was a withered sprig of holly stuck in a spill jar on the mantelpiece. Rosetta sat by the fire, fuming inwardly as she suckled the baby. She longed to share her pent-up emotions with someone sympathetic. If only Ruby had stayed on a bit longer, instead of going off to Africa to tend the wounded soldiers. Ruby would understand what she was going through; she might not approve, but she would understand. Gritting her teeth and feeling no pleasure as the insistent little mouth tugged hungrily at her nipple, Rosetta stared gloomily into the fire; this was how it was going to be from now on, with every day much the same as the last. She was caught like a rat in a trap, stuck in this tiny, overcrowded house with no hope of escape until they carried her out feet first. Everybody else seemed happy with their lot, content to carry on as usual, with Granny Mole dozing in her chair and Elsie placidly folding squares of cut up sheeting to use as nappies, while Sarah was preparing supper in the scullery. Sighing, Rosetta barely looked up as Billy came in from the street bringing with him a gust of frosty, smoke-laden night air.
‘Well, now,’ he said, taking in the scene with a happy smile. ‘This is a sight for sore eyes. Just what a bloke needs at the end of a hard day.’
Shifting the baby to her left breast, Rosetta scowled at him.
Seeming not to notice, Billy took off his hat and coat, hanging them on a peg behind the door. ‘How are my two best girls?’
Not trusting herself to speak, Rosetta remained silent.
Billy’s smile faded into a concerned frown. ‘Are you feeling all right, pet? You know you should have stayed in bed like the midwife told you. You got up too soon, in my opinion.’
‘She always was wayward,’ Granny Mole said, opening one eye. ‘You’re too good for her by half, Billy.’
‘Nothing is too good for my Rose,’ Billy said, chuckling. Perching on the arm of Rosetta’s chair he stroked the baby’s head with the tip of his finger. ‘Ain’t she just the pretty one? She’s going to be a stunner, just like her mum.’
‘Leave it out, Billy,’ Rosetta said, covering her bare breast with her shawl. ‘Don’t disturb her. I want to get this over so that Elsie can put her down to sleep.’
‘You know, pet, we can’t keep calling the baby “
her” and “it”. We got to give the poor little moppet a name.’
‘Yes, so?’
‘So as you ain’t come up with anything yet, I thought we might call her after my sister, Martha. She even looks a bit like her.’
‘Don’t talk soft, Billy. How can she look like your sister when you ain’t the father?’
Twisting a lock of Rosetta’s hair around his finger, Billy dropped a kiss on her forehead. ‘It don’t matter to me, Rose. I’ll love her just as much as if she were me own and she’ll never know the difference, not if we have half a dozen more little ’uns to keep her company.’
‘There won’t be no more, not if I can help it.’ Rosetta pulled a face as the baby hiccuped and spewed out a mouthful of milk. ‘I ain’t going through this again. Anyway, the midwife said I was delicate. Another baby could be fatal.’
‘Poppycock!’ Granny Mole snorted. ‘You’re as strong as a horse. You could drop one a year and not notice the difference.’
‘It seems to me that babies turn up when they want to,’ Billy said, taking the baby from Rosetta’s arms, hitching her over his shoulder and gently patting her back. ‘The more the merrier, I say. We don’t want little Martha to grow up lonely, now do we? Martha Noakes, me little princess.’
‘Martha, that’s a pretty name,’ Elsie said, stroking the baby’s head. ‘I love Martha best in the world.’
‘Put her to bed, Elsie,’ Rosetta said, hastily buttoning her blouse as Billy’s gaze travelled to her swollen breasts. ‘I’ll help Mum with the supper. I’m starving.’
‘No need,’ Sarah said, coming into the room with a tray of bread, cheese and pickles. ‘Did I hear you say you’ve picked a name for the little one?’
Relieving her of the tray, Billy set it down on the table. ‘It’s Martha, after me poor dead sister. And how about Sarah as a second name, after you, Mother Capretti? The third most beautiful woman in me life.’
‘Get away with you,’ Sarah said, going red in the face and giggling.
‘Don’t I get a say in all this?’ Rosetta jumped to her feet. ‘She’s my daughter, not yours.’
Still smiling, Billy placed his arm around Rosetta’s shoulders. ‘You’ve had a hard time, pet, and I know you was upset having to crowd the family by coming here, but I’ve got plans. This time next year we’ll be set up for life.’
Granny Mole let out a cackle of mirth. ‘You going to rob a bank then, Billy?’
‘Better than that, Granny. I’m going straight. I’ve done me last shady deal and I’ve made enough money to buy a business. We’re going to be in trade.’
‘Well I never.’ Sarah sat down suddenly. ‘In trade.’
‘What are you talking about?’ demanded Rosetta.
Sitting down, Billy pulled her onto his lap. ‘The baker in Spivey Street, the one what got burnt out, is selling up. His hands are so badly afflicted that he can’t properly work no more. The long and the short of it is that I’ve bought him out. There’s living accommodation above the shop, just right for a growing family.’
Rosetta stared at him aghast. ‘But you don’t know nothing about being a baker.’
‘I can learn, ducks. Ted is going to stay on and teach me the business. I’ve watched him work and it don’t look too hard. I’m a good learner.’
‘But a baker’s shop? You’re having a laugh, aren’t you?’ Rosetta felt her heart racing as panic rose in her throat.
‘No, cross me heart and hope to die,’ Billy said, making the sign of a cross on his chest. ‘That’s what I been doing all these weeks, in between scraping up the money to buy the business.’
Closing her eyes, Rosetta pinched herself, thinking this must be one of her bad dreams. It hurt. It was real. ‘I can’t believe you’d do such a thing. Didn’t it never occur to you to ask me what I wanted?’
‘I’m doing this for you, darling, and for baby Martha. No more shady deals, no more dodging the cops. I’m a respectable tradesman now. What d’you think, Mother Capretti?’
‘I think it’s a fine idea, Billy.’
‘Of course, I’ll have to rely on you to give us a hand,’ Billy said, smiling. ‘No one makes a better bit of cake than you, or a lighter pastry. You’d get a share of the profits, of course.’
‘Fine,’ Rosetta said, struggling free from Billy’s arms and getting to her feet. ‘So where’s my part in all this grand plan?’
‘Why, sweetheart, you’re my best asset. You can serve in the shop and charm the customers while Elsie looks after Martha.’
Speechless with rage, Rosetta stared down at him, her hands fisted behind her back.
‘So what can I do, Billy?’ demanded Granny Mole.
‘You can give us the benefit of your good advice, Granny.’
‘Bah! As if anyone listens to me.’
Making a huge effort to keep calm, Rosetta glared at Billy. ‘So when is all this supposed to happen?’
‘We’ll move in on New Year’s Eve, that’s Sunday, and I’ll bake me first loaves for Monday the first of January, 1900,’ Billy said, slapping his hand on his knee. ‘The start of a new century and the beginning of a new life.’
‘Never!’ Rosetta cried, stamping up the stairs. ‘Never, never, never. I ain’t going to live above no bloody bakery.’
The shop was small, but spotlessly clean, with a faint aroma of freshly baked bread. The living accommodation upstairs was roomy. Although workmen had repaired the fire damage and repainted the woodwork, the lingering stench of smoke and charring was not completely disguised by the sharp smell of turpentine and the distinctive odour of linseed oil emanating from the newly laid linoleum. Standing in the middle of the living room, all Rosetta’s worst fears were realised. Empty except for a deal table and four kitchen chairs, the room was bleak and cold.
‘It’ll be fine when we get some proper furniture in, pet.’ Billy hurried over to open the sash window. ‘It still smells a bit when it’s been shut up, but that will go as soon as it’s lived in.’
‘It’s horrible,’ Rosetta said, shuddering. ‘How could you bring me here, Billy?’
‘I got a mate down Stepney way what’s in the furniture business and he’s sorting out a sofa and a couple of armchairs. We’ll get a few rugs in the market and once we’ve got the fire going it will seem more like home.’
‘Home! It’s a hovel, Billy. I’d rather live in your old stable than here.’
Wrapping his arms around her, Billy gave her a hug. ‘Come and see the bedrooms, pet. At least I got us a nice comfy bed with that feather mattress you’ve always wanted.’ Billy took her by the hand leading her down a narrow strip of landing. Opening a door, he ushered her in. ‘This is our room.’
Rosetta glanced around, her lips folded in a tight line. The room was much bigger than the bedroom in Tobacco Court, furnished with an iron bedstead, a chair and a washstand.
Billy eyed her nervously. ‘And there’s more.’
Saying nothing, Rosetta followed him across the landing.
‘Now then, this is the big surprise,’ Billy said, flinging the door open. ‘What d’you think of that?’
Looking over his shoulder, Rosetta saw a white but rather rusty bath standing on claw feet, a washbasin with hot and cold taps and a lavatory with a cast-iron cistern and a pull chain.
‘Not half bad, eh?’ Billy said, pulling the chain in demonstration. ‘I bet the queen herself don’t have a better bathroom in Buckingham Palace.’
‘I suppose it would be nice not to have to go out in the yard at night,’ Rosetta said grudgingly.
‘And a hot bath whenever you want one. I knew you’d like it when you’d seen everything.’
‘How do I do the cooking, then?’ Rosetta demanded, refusing to be pleased. ‘And the washing? Or do I do that in the bathtub?’
Running his fingers through his hair, Billy frowned. ‘Don’t be difficult, pet. There’s a scullery upstairs and the bakehouse downstairs with a washhouse in the back yard. All right, it ain’t a palace, but like I s
aid it’s a start. Give me time, love, just give me time.’
Seeing his crestfallen expression, Rosetta hated herself. She knew that Billy was doing his best, but these days there seemed to be a devil inside her that made her say and do things to hurt him. ‘I daresay it will be all right,’ she said, smiling and patting his hand. ‘Show us the rest.’
‘Right then.’ Dragging her along behind him, Billy sprinted up the steep and narrow stairs to the attic rooms. ‘I thought this one would do for Elsie.’
Rosetta peered into the room beneath the eaves, dimly lit by a roof window. A truckle bed occupied most of the floor space, leaving just enough room for a chest of drawers. ‘I daresay it’s a lot better than anything she’s ever had before.’
‘And this one,’ Billy said, throwing the door open to a much larger and brighter room, ‘we’ll make this into a room fit for a princess. Just for Martha.’
‘Babies don’t have rooms all to themselves. You’ll spoil her rotten.’
‘She’ll have everything she wants. And so will you, Rose.’
Turning away, Rosetta made for the stairs, but Billy caught her by the hand, drawing her to him. ‘I know it’s not perfect, but I love you, Rose, and I just want you to be happy.’
Closing her eyes and imagining for a brief moment that it was Jonas who was pledging his love for her, Rosetta relaxed against Billy’s tense body. ‘I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a bit difficult lately. I don’t mean to hurt you, Billy.’
Holding her so tightly that she could hardly breathe, Billy’s mouth claimed hers with the hunger of a starving man. Sliding her arms around Billy’s neck, Rosetta opened her lips with a sigh, responding to him for the first time in months, but all the time her heart was crying out for another man. If only it was Jonas who was kissing her with such need and urgency, she would not turn away from him at night in the marriage bed. Repeating her name over and over again, Billy’s voice was thick with desire and his fingers shook as he unbuttoned her blouse. Burying his face in the soft swell of her breasts he pinned her against the wall, his hands searching beneath her skirt, stroking, caressing and tantalising until Rosetta gasped with pleasure. Blotting Billy out of her mind, she tried to convince herself that it was Jonas who was arousing her to a frenzy of desire. She did not protest when Billy lifted her in his arms and carried her down the stairs to their bedroom, throwing her down on the feather mattress and taking her roughly with all the pent-up emotion of enforced abstinence. Coming too late to her senses, there was nothing Rosetta could do to stop him and her struggling and fighting only seemed to excite him further, until he climaxed with an exultant shout. With silent tears running down her cheeks, she prayed that her mistake would not result in another unwanted pregnancy.
