by Dilly Court
‘I patch people up – that’s my job. I leave the bloodletting to prizefighters, soldiers and men like Jonas Crowe. You were well out of that house, Ruby. I didn’t like to say anything at the time because it really wasn’t any of my business, but I could never understand what a nice girl like you was doing working for a man like Crowe.’
‘Maybe nice girls like me don’t have much choice,’ Ruby shot back at him, feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks. ‘We can’t all be born with a silver spoon in our mouth.’
‘Now I’ve offended you. I’m sorry, Ruby.’
Shaking her head, Ruby turned away. The difference in their backgrounds had never seemed so unbridgeable, and she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the face.
‘Look, Ruby. Just look at that sunset.’ Abruptly changing the subject, Adam pointed at the dying sun as it plunged below the distant hills. ‘Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?’
‘I’ve never even seen the sea before. I’ve never been to Southend, let alone Africa.’
‘Life is strange, isn’t it?’ Adam said slowly, staring into the distance. ‘But for the war we wouldn’t be standing here on this ship, miles from home, watching the sun setting over the African continent. It feels like a world apart, don’t you think?’
Ruby gripped the iron railing and felt the throb of the ship’s engines beating like her own heart. Adam’s candid blue eyes searched her face for an answer; the warmth of his body enveloped her like a cloak as a cool breeze ruffled the surface of the sea, snatching playfully at her long skirt. She swallowed hard. ‘It isn’t Whitechapel and that’s for certain.’
Adam’s laughter broke the tension between them. ‘Ruby, you are such a breath of fresh air. Don’t ever change.’
‘Oh well, I’m glad I’ve got some uses,’ Ruby replied, staring down into the sucking swell of the water as the hull sliced through the waves. She looked up, startled, as Adam took her hand and tucked it in the crook of his arm.
‘I’m sorry. I’m saying all the wrong things tonight, but I truly meant it; you are so refreshingly honest. Most of the girls I know simper and smile and say things they think I want to hear. You’re different: you speak your mind.’
‘Pamela isn’t like that.’
‘Pam is the sweetest girl in the world and I love her dearly but you’re a chum, Ruby. I can say things to you that I would never say even to Pam. You don’t mind, do you?’
Allowing herself the luxury of leaning against him as the ship changed course slightly, Ruby shook her head. ‘No, of course not. I’m glad we’re friends, Adam.’
Making landfall in Durban next day, they were transported to Maritzburg and the military hospital at Fort Napier. Ruby couldn’t quite grasp the idea that it was the middle of January and nearing the end of summer, whereas they had left England shivering beneath a blanket of grey clouds that threatened snow. By contrast it was very hot during the day in Durban, much hotter than Ruby had ever experienced in England, but mercifully a lot cooler at night. The nurses were set to work almost immediately, tending the sick and wounded soldiers brought in by train. They were such young men, little more than boys, some of them with terrible injuries but many of them were ill with typhoid fever, which had spread with alarming and deadly rapidity. She had no idea where Joe was, but each one of the men in her care was someone’s son, brother or perhaps a father, and but for the grace of God, could have been Joe. Ruby worked tirelessly and, being one of the least qualified, hers were the dirtiest and most mundane tasks, all of which she did willingly. The hours worked by all the medical teams were long and at the end of each shift, all Ruby wanted to do was collapse on her bed, but she managed to compose a letter to her mother, writing a few lines every night before she fell into an exhausted sleep.
Sharing a room with Pamela and half a dozen other nurses, there was no privacy and no time to sit and think or to worry about what was happening six thousand miles away in London. In her few free moments, Ruby tried to escape the ever-present smell of carbolic, the stench of sickness and death and the draining heat by walking in the comparative cool of the tree-shaded hospital grounds. In these precious, quiet moments, she thought about her family at home and in particular about Rosetta, wondering whether her baby was a girl or a boy. She hoped that Rose was happier now and had become resigned to being married, putting aside her feelings for Jonas and recognising Billy for the good bloke he was beneath the brash exterior.
While the horrors of war that Ruby witnessed daily made everything and everyone at home in London fade into a hazy blur, like an old sepia tint, Jonas Crowe leapt into her thoughts with terrifying clarity. Late at night when she was drifting off to sleep, thinking of Adam, who had been summoned away to work in a field hospital under Sir Frederick Treves, Jonas would appear, his dominant personality wiping out everything else like the sweep of a board rubber on chalk. She had left London to get away from Jonas. She was in love with Adam, who was a good man and a fine doctor; she was desperately, deeply and hopelessly in love with him, but it was Jonas who haunted her subconscious. No matter how hard she fought against him, it was Jonas, a self-confessed villain, who made love to her in dreams from which she awakened night after night, aroused, sweating and having to creep out of the dormitory to the bathroom where she sponged herself down with cool water. Silently cursing and hating him, Ruby was shamed and disgusted by the lustful demon within her that no amount of water could wash away.
Despite the backbreaking work, the monotonous routine seemed to go on for ever as they waited for the order to board the sparkling white, luxuriously appointed hospital train donated by Princess Christian. Summer was slowly drifting into autumn and everyone at Fort Napier waited eagerly for the arrival of despatch riders with details of the push towards Ladysmith. The rainy season had started and nerves were stretched to the limit when the news finally came; the relief column had got through and the siege of Ladysmith was at an end.
After weeks of waiting, they were on their way at last and the train sped through the night, arriving at Ladysmith early next morning. Ruby thought they had been ready for the influx of sick and injured but she had not been prepared to see so many half-starved women and children who, in spite of their five-month long ordeal, were lining the track, waving, smiling and cheering their arrival. The stretcher cases were carried aboard and Ruby worked without stopping except for the occasional cup of tea and a bully beef sandwich. Working with a medical orderly, she was given the task of identifying and listing the patients, going from one end of the train to the other. By midnight, the names and faces began to blur and her ears rang with the soft groans of badly wounded soldiers and hoarse voices demanding water or begging for a cigarette.
Just as they thought they had finished, a fresh contingent of soldiers arrived bringing their most seriously injured.
Corporal Lewis, the nuggety Welsh orderly, took out his penknife and began sharpening his stub of a pencil. ‘I thought it was too good to be true. Looks like we got a long night ahead of us, cariad.’
‘I’ll go and take a look,’ Ruby said, stifling a yawn. ‘Maybe there won’t be too many.’
She found Pamela checking the men in and assessing the severity of their injuries. She looked white and drawn, with dark blue smudges beneath her eyes, and her fresh blonde complexion had yellowed in the heat of Africa. Anxiety shafted through Ruby at the sight of her friend looking so spent and fragile like a wilting, white rose and, for a brief moment, she was ashamed of her own good health and resilience. ‘Pam, you should have a break.’
Pamela looked up. ‘Another twenty,’ she said, sighing. ‘Poor souls, some of them are in a sorry state.’
‘Not me, nurse. I’m ready to take you out on the town.’ A young soldier with his leg roughly splinted, grinned up at Pamela and winked.
‘If you’re that well, soldier, then maybe you’re on the wrong train,’ Pamela said, smiling. Having given his leg a quick examination, she made a note on his chart. ‘I think the surgeon had bette
r take a look at that leg.’
The young soldier’s cocky grin changed to a worried frown. ‘I won’t lose it, will I, nurse?’
‘Of course not, but I’m afraid it may need resetting. Don’t worry, Private, we have the best surgeons on board.’
‘Not to mention the best physicians.’
A voice from the darkness outside the train made Pamela spin round with a cry of delight. ‘Adam!’ She jumped off the train into Adam’s arms.
‘And I thought I was in with a chance.’ The soldier grinned up at Ruby. ‘How about you, nurse? Or are you spoken for too?’
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Ruby stared down at the list of names in her notebook, unable to bear the sight of the tender reunion as Adam held Pamela in his arms. ‘Your name and number, please, Private.’
‘Going to write it in your address book, love?’
‘For the record and so that the authorities can let your folks know you’re alive and well.’ Ruby scribbled down the details, keeping her head bent over the page. She could not see Adam and Pamela but neither could she blot out the joyous sound of their voices. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the young private’s face contort with pain and she laid her hand on his arm, forcing a smile. ‘Maybe we’ll meet up again in London, soldier. Good luck.’
He blew her a kiss as the orderlies carried him away, clearing the table for the next stretcher case that was already waiting at the foot of the steps. The bearers climbed onto the train hefting the stretcher onto the examination table.
Pamela came running in after them, dragging Adam by the hand. ‘Look who’s arrived, Ruby. Isn’t it wonderful?’
‘Hello, Adam.’ Ruby flashed him a smile but her heart ached to see him looking lean and bronzed but bone-tired.
‘It’s good to see you, Ruby.’
‘This one looks serious,’ Pamela said, leaning over the inert body on the stretcher. ‘Can you take a look, Adam? I think we may be losing him.’
Adam’s smile faded. ‘You’re right. This one needs immediate surgery.’
‘Yes, doctor,’ Pamela said, snapping to attention. ‘I’ll see to it if Ruby will take down his details.’ Without waiting for an answer, she hurried off in the direction of the operating theatre.
In spite of the bloodstained bandages that obscured the soldier’s face, there was something terrifyingly familiar about him. ‘Is he …?’ Ruby’s breath hitched and she couldn’t say the word.
Shaking his head, Adam felt for a pulse. ‘Alive. Just.’
‘I’ll need a name. Has he any identification?’ She had seen dead and dying men, but this one was different and Ruby had to bite her lip to prevent herself from crying.
Feeling inside the man’s ripped tunic, Adam found the piece of linen sewn inside detailing the soldier’s particulars. ‘Dear God!’
‘Adam?’ Seized by terror, knowing the answer but not daring to ask the question, Ruby closed her eyes. ‘No!’
‘It could be a terrible coincidence,’ Adam said, taking her by the hand.
Trembling all over, Ruby lifted the bandages on the soldier’s face. She would have known him anywhere, even with half his face shattered by a bursting shell. She collapsed onto her knees, burying her face in her hands, wracked with sobs. ‘Joe. My Joe.’
Lifting her to her feet, Adam wrapped his arms around her. ‘He’s not dead, Ruby. There’s still a chance that we can save him.’
Although Pamela sent her off duty immediately, Ruby refused to leave Joe’s side. He was deeply unconscious and for that fact she was truly grateful. Sitting beside the stretcher, she held his hand, keeping up a constant stream of chatter about anything that came into her head until the orderlies came to take him into the operating theatre. Beyond tears, Ruby paced the narrow corridor, wringing her hands and praying as she had never prayed before. Outside the brightly lit compartment, the world was a black void, and this part of the train was eerily silent. The sweet scent of chloroform mixed oddly with the odours of carbolic and Lysol, filling her nostrils and making her feel sick. She lost all sense of time as she paced, forgetting her fatigue, focusing all her willpower on Joe and willing him to survive.
Leaning her forehead against the cold glass of the window, Ruby was dimly aware of thin streaks of grey light cracking the black bowl of the sky. A movement behind her made her spin round and she saw Adam coming out of the operating theatre. She knew at once by his expression that it was all over, and everything went dark.
The hospital train travelled down the line to Mooi River, but at least Ruby had been able to attend the mass funeral service before it left. Saying goodbye to Joe and leaving him buried in a foreign land had been heartbreaking enough, but trying to write a letter home was almost impossible. They would have received notification of Joe’s death from the official sources by now, but Ruby tried to find the words to soften the blow. Joe had died a hero’s death; he had given his life for his country; no man could do more. The piece of writing paper was grazed by rubbing out words that seemed unsuitable, pockmarked with dried tears and creased by folding and unfolding as Ruby gave up the attempt and put it away to try again another time. She finished it eventually in a rare quiet moment in the nurses’ dormitory at the Military Hospital in Mooi River.
Sighing with relief, Ruby felt as though a great burden had been lifted from her. Putting it all down on paper was her last goodbye to Joe. Despite the undeniable weaknesses in his character and his fatal addiction to gambling, Joe had had enough charm for ten men, and she had loved him dearly. She would always remember the laughter they had shared and forget the tears. Joe was and always would be her much-loved big brother, and at least now he was safe: safe from his own failings and safe from men like Jonas Crowe who had exploited them. Sealing the envelope Ruby got to her feet, pushing the memory of Jonas to the back of her mind. With Joe and Lily both gone there would be no reason for her ever to see Jonas again; his hold over her had ceased to exist.
Putting the envelope in the mailbag for home seemed like the last goodbye and she stood, for a moment, biting back tears and feeling desperately homesick. Hoping there might be a letter from her mother, Ruby was checking the incoming mail when Adam came to stand by her side.
‘No letters?’
‘I wasn’t really expecting any. There was one from Mum waiting when we arrived.’
Rifling through the envelopes, Adam paused, giving her a searching glance. ‘Not bad news, I hope?’
‘Not at all. My sister had a little girl. They called her Martha Sarah and Billy has bought a bakery. I just can’t imagine Rosetta serving in a baker’s shop,’ Ruby said, chuckling.
‘I haven’t heard you laugh since we were on board the ship.’
‘It’s been a hard time for all of us.’
Laying his hand on her shoulder, Adam’s eyes were full of sympathy. ‘Harder for you, Ruby. I’m truly sorry about your brother.’
Gazing into the depths of his blue eyes, Ruby was deafened by the blood drumming in her ears. The touch of his hand on her shoulder sent an electric charge through her whole body. ‘Th-thank you.’
‘Adam, there you are.’
Pamela’s voice shattered the moment and Adam dropped his hand to his side, a dull flush spreading across his face. ‘Pam.’
‘I’ve been looking for you, darling.’
Quick to hear an unusually peevish note in Pamela’s voice, Ruby shot her a curious glance. ‘Are you all right, Pam?’
Brushing her hand across her forehead, Pamela nodded. ‘I’m perfectly fine, except for this beastly headache.’
Feeling her brow, Adam frowned. ‘I think we’d better get one of the other doctors to take a look at you, Pam. You ought to be in bed.’
‘Don’t be silly. I told you, I’m perfectly all right. Ruby, I know you’re off duty but with so many of the nurses down with fever we need you now.’
Exchanging worried looks with Adam, Ruby followed Pamela as she marched off towards the sluice.
‘These bed
pans need washing out and disinfecting,’ Pamela said, thrusting a mop into Ruby’s hand.
‘You really don’t look well.’
‘For heaven’s sake, don’t you start. I told you I’m perfectly well.’
Ruby saw her eyes roll upwards and made a grab for Pamela as she fell to the floor in a dead faint.
Pacing the corridor outside the side ward, Ruby waited for news. It seemed like hours before Adam came out, his face deathly pale beneath his tan.
‘It’s typhoid fever. She’s very sick, Ruby.’
‘But she will recover? She must.’
Adam sank down on a chair by the door and held his head in his hands. ‘She must,’ he repeated dully. ‘I pray to God she will.’
Sitting down beside him, Ruby put her arm around his shoulders. ‘She’s young and strong and she’ll have the best care possible.’
‘I don’t know what I’ll do if she dies,’ Adam said, raking his fingers through his hair. ‘I love her so much. I can’t imagine life without her.’
Wrapping both her arms around him, Ruby cradled his head against her shoulder. At any other time, hearing him utter those words with such devastating sincerity would have broken her heart, but the thought of losing Pamela so soon after Joe’s death was even more unbearable.
‘You do love her, don’t you?’ Ruby whispered.
‘I do, I do. I didn’t know how much until the second opinion confirmed my worst fears.’ Raising his head, Adam met Ruby’s eyes with a stricken stare. ‘If I lose Pam, I don’t think I can go on.’
Holding him close, Ruby stroked his hair back from his forehead. If she had ever had the slightest doubt, she knew now that Adam truly loved Pamela and there was no room in his heart for anyone else. The pain of realising that her own love for him had been a beautiful but impossible dream was as nothing compared to Adam’s obvious suffering. ‘She won’t die, Adam. We’ll get her through this no matter what. We won’t let her die.’
The sister-in-charge was reluctant at first to allow Ruby to work in the isolation ward, insisting that only fully qualified nurses should be given such responsibility. Ruby argued that, as a probationer, she was the most expendable of all the nurses and that she was perfectly capable of carrying out instructions. In the end she won, and she was sent to the isolation ward to tend the mounting number of typhoid cases.
