by Ava Miles
“Fine. What can I bring? Besides my gun, I mean.”
“Why, Peg, are you flirting with me?”
She stopped, appalled. Was she? She needed a good smack upside the head. “In your dreams.”
“Every night.”
Okay, she’d walked into that one. “Time?”
“Is seven–thirty all right?”
“I was thinking five–thirty.” Later hours made it more of a date.
His throaty murmur made her want to pop him.
“I work a bit later than that. I hope that’s not a problem.”
He darn well knew it was. “Fine.” Time to get off the phone. This conversation was taking too long.
“I’ll see you then. And Peg? Thank you for being the first voice I heard this morning. It’s a wonderful way to start the day.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Too bad I can’t talk you into giving me a wakeup call every morning. That would—”
She hung up before he could finish the sentence. Her back had started itching, and her heart was doing funny things. It was warm, like his statement had meant something to her.
She grabbed the coffee pot to give herself something to do, anything to make her forget how his voice had sounded when he said good morning, and how easily she could imagine waking up next to him all warm and mussed, too.
Chapter 22
Mac silently swore when he spotted the full gasoline can on the deck with a note secured by duct tape. For the mower. That infernal woman! She wouldn’t even let him take care of the gas. He glared at the house, but didn’t see her in the windows. She was probably hiding somewhere.
“Uncle Mac,” Dustin hissed out.
Mac turned sharply. “What’s wrong?”
He darted forward, tugging on his T–shirt. “I went to get the mower and saw Keith crying behind the shed. I didn’t know what to do.”
If Keith was out here, his instinct told him he didn’t want his mom to know. Dustin used to hide the same way when he was upset, but they had always been able to tell because his lashes would be salt–tipped when he returned.
“Let’s see what’s wrong.”
Dustin followed him to the shed, but hung a few steps back, fidgeting. Mac heard the boy’s quiet sobbing as they came closer. Felt a horrible tugging on his heart. The kid was broken–hearted. He wondered if the woman inside was as well. Peggy would never cause this hurt in her kid.
He crouched down in front of Keith and cupped his head. “What’s wrong, son?”
The boy launched himself into Mac’s arms with surprising force, upsetting his balance. He put an arm on the ground to steady them and wrapped the other around Keith.
“Don’t…tell Mom.”
“Shh…” Mac stroked his damp hair. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Keith sniffed. “My dad…hates…me.” He raised his head. His brown eyes shone with huge fat tears. “Mom won’t say it, but I know he does.”
Mac felt the tugging of another boy long ago who’d said the same thing to him after another father’s show–and–tell day at school. An uncle simply hadn’t cut it that day. He looked over at Dustin, who was staring at the ground, kicking a rock. His ears were red.
Mac tucked the kid closer. “Why do you think that?”
Keith inhaled jaggedly. “Every time…Mom calls him after I beg her to…and asks him to visit, she always tells me he’s too busy…with police stuff. Today she called him about my birthday next month.” He started crying again, wetting Mac’s shirt. “I know she’s lying for him, and she hates lying! She gets so angry she shreds paper. She doesn’t think I know. She broke our shredder, so she’s really mad. He…he never wants to see me!”
Mac kept a gentle grip on Keith’s tense shoulder where the small bones met. “Isn’t he a police officer? Perhaps he’s working a really hard case right now.” He doubted it, but he didn’t want to hurt the kid anymore. Plus, he wasn’t going to contradict anyone’s parenting.
“He never visited me once while we lived in Kansas! He doesn’t ever remember my birthday anymore. It’s like…he’s forgotten all about me! How could he do that? He’s my dad! ”
Mac fought a dirty curse word.
“He’s a fucker,” Dustin supplied.
“Dustin!” Mac reproached, but it was exactly what he’d been thinking too.
Keith swung his hopeful gaze toward the older boy.
Dustin shuffled forward. “My dad’s a fucker too. You’re better off without him.”
Mac stayed silent, sensing a shift.
Keith’s lip quivered. “That’s what my best friend at school says, but he has a dad. He doesn’t understand. Why doesn’t my dad like me? I’ve tried and tried to think of what I did wrong, but he left when I was a baby.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Dustin said. “He’s an asshole. Some men shouldn’t have kids.”
Mac could hear the hurt growing in his nephew’s voice. They’d had these same discussions many times over the years. The pain had coalesced into red–hot teenage rage.
Keith nodded, looking much older than his years.
“If you don’t think your dad likes you, why do you keep hoping he’ll visit?” Dustin asked.
Wiping his runny nose with his hand, Keith said, “So he can see how good I am now.”
Mac put both hands on the boy’s small shoulders and stared into his eyes. “Now, wait just a minute. You’ve always been good.” He took a deep breath. Sometimes you had to go with the truth. He’d learned that with his nephew. “Dustin’s right. Some men shouldn’t have kids. I had a terrible dad until he left me and my sister. He didn’t like me either.”
Keith’s eyes turned as huge as chocolate circles. “He didn’t?”
“No, and I’m a good person, right?” He tried to smile. He’d used the same line on Dustin. It had worked every time.
Dustin put his hand on Mac’s shoulder. “You’re the best,” he replied like he always had.
It had been a long time since he’d heard that from his nephew. Funny how much he needed it. He cleared his throat. “Takes one to know one.”
“Did it ever make you cry?” Keith asked.
“Yeah,” Mac whispered, remembering how it had felt to be seven years old. The only difference between them was that his mother hadn’t bothered to reassure him. She hadn’t liked him either. Dustin was right. Some people should never have kids.
“What about you?” Keith asked Dustin.
His nephew kicked the ground. “I haven’t for a long time.” He crouched low to the ground. “So you’re part of the pack now—guys whose fathers hate them. Look at Uncle Mac. It didn’t mess him up.”
So the hero lens wasn’t completely gone from Dustin’s eyes. His nephew’s ears flamed when their gazes met.
Mac swallowed thickly and turned back to the Keith. “You’re gonna be fine. You’ve got the best uncle around and the best mom except for my sister. Plus, look at the Hales. You’ve got a whole family who loves you.”
“Mom says we have to stick together.”
Mac lifted his head and stared at his nephew. “Yes, that’s what families do.”
Dustin ducked his head to the right. Mac knew he only did that when he wanted to hide his emotions. So Keith was helping everyone with their hurts today.
As with everything life handed out, there was a silver lining.
“Come here,” he told Keith. He picked him up, stood, and pulled Dustin in with the other arm. He hugged those two boys hard until it became awkward. Then he jostled them back and forth. “We okay now?”
When Mac put him down, Keith took Dustin’s hand. His nephew’s brows shot up, but he didn’t shake free. Mac’s heart grew so huge he wasn’t sure it would fit in his chest.
“Okay,” Keith murmured, his Toy Story T–shirt dotted with wet spots. “Come on, Dustin. I need a boost to climb the tree.”
They walked off together, two hurting boys trying to understand why their fathers had abandoned th
em, trying to become what they were meant to be in spite of it. Pride couldn’t exactly describe what Mac was feeling, but it was damn close.
Dustin helped Keith into the tree and then climbed up himself. Keith’s higher–pitched voice blended with Dustin’s rapidly changing one.
Mac fished his phone out of his pocket and took a picture. He didn’t capture many scenes, but he intended to savor this one. Put it in a frame in his office.
Now, it was time to help the kid’s mother heal.
He headed inside to see Peggy.
***
Peggy gave the paper shredder another kick. “You stupid piece of crap.”
“Thank you,” a smooth, velvet voice said from behind her.
She whirled around. “I wasn’t talking to you. Yet.”
“I know. I thought humor might help. It’s not the shredder’s fault it’s jammed.” He walked up until he was standing right in front of her—way too close for comfort, but she wasn’t going to back away. She was spoiling for a fight. He’d do.
“What are you doing in here? Why aren’t you mowing?”
He crossed his arms and gave her that patient look she was coming to know all too well, like he had all the time in the world. “I needed to talk to you.”
“You should have knocked.”
“I did. You probably couldn’t hear me over the beating you were giving the shredder.”
“I don’t have time for you. Get mowing and get out!”
She tried to step around him, but he grabbed her arm gently. “Dustin and I found Keith crying by the shed.”
“What?” She flung his hand off and stalked toward the door.
“Peg, he didn’t want you to know. He might be little, but he’s got his pride. Dustin and I talked to him. He’s better now. See.” He gestured to the window and pointed to where the boys were playing in the tree, shoes dangling from the lowest branch.
Somehow the sight of them choked her up. They looked so sweet together. She threw her arms out, the pressure spreading in her chest. “He shouldn’t talk to you about this! He should talk to me. I’m his mother.”
Mac ran his hand down her arm. “He knows you only use the paper shredder when you’re upset.”
“Shit. He knows—”
“Yes.”
“I wanted to rip something apart, but it wouldn’t be a good example if I tore into a chair.”
Those stoplight green eyes crinkled at the corners. “I understand. I used to go to the driving range and smack the ball as hard as I could. I don’t even like golf. Abbie scrubs the grout in the shower.”
Her shoulders drooped. Still she wanted to bellow out, do some damage. Damn Frank for making Keith cry. “What did he say?”
Mac put his hand to his heart. “I won’t divulge a boy’s confidence. Deep down, I think you know.”
“His dad is a total deadbeat asshole, and it breaks his heart.”
“Like it does yours.”
She sailed across the room. “He doesn’t break my heart anymore, just his son’s. And Keith’s never done anything wrong.”
“He does break your heart—every time he says no to your boy.”
She had to blink back tears, so she turned away. Why did he have to see things so clearly? “So you won’t tell me?”
“If he chooses to tell you, he will. Don’t rush him. I know you find it hard to believe, but Dustin has a good heart. He understands what Keith is feeling. They…bonded today.”
She fisted her hands, not sure how she felt about that.
“Sometimes it helps to know you’re not the only one who’s going through something.”
She touched her aching throat. “You never told me—”
“Because you were too busy accusing me of beating up Dustin’s dad in front of the whole town. I don’t share the details—ever—but since I want you in my life, you might as well know the full story.”
Her legs shook at his words. No, he couldn’t tie her to him like this. “I need to do laundry.”
“I never billed you for a chicken.”
“Fine, but it won’t change anything.”
“Keep telling yourself that. Now, shut the door,” he said, his voice all velvety soft with danger.
The shaking moved up her legs to her belly. She did as he asked.
He leaned against the desk, but even she caught the tense line of his body. “Abbie started going out with a college freshman when she was a high school senior. He took her to a frat party. She did some drinking, and he date raped her. She was a virgin. She didn’t say anything, not even to me, but when she found out she was pregnant, she finally told me. I wanted to kill him. I went to his house. He told me that it hadn’t been rape, that she was a total slut, and the kid could be anyone’s. I went for him. You know the rest.”
She’d heard similar stories as a police officer, but this time, it was like someone had burned a hole in her stomach with a cigarette. “Why did his family drop the charges against you?” she asked, her voice cracking.
He uncurled from his casual position like a panther poised to attack. “I threatened to press charges for rape. I knew we had no evidence, but they were a family of some notoriety. They didn’t want a slur attached to their name or his. I told them we’d never ask for anything if they left us alone. They did.”
“If he did that to her, he’s done it to others. You should have pressed charges.”
“Well, we didn’t have any evidence, Deputy,” his voice lashed out. “Besides, Abbie didn’t want any reminder of what had happened, and we didn’t have the money for a lawyer.”
“The court would have provided one.”
“Right,” he scoffed. “They had a family attorney on retainer. They would have eaten us alive. I wasn’t about to put her through that. Sometimes, despite what you believe, the law just isn’t the right avenue.”
The venom in his voice raised the hairs on her neck. She didn’t want to argue with him. She studied the tense line of muscles visible through his simple forest green T–shirt. “I’m sorry.”
He released an explosive breath. “Dustin doesn’t know any of the details. We’ll have to tell him soon, but it’s not an easy thing to tell a kid.”
She shook her head. “No. I can’t imagine.”
“He knows something’s not right, but I don’t think he knows it’s this bad. It rips my guts out, thinking how much it will hurt him.” He turned around and stared out the window.
She reached a hand out to massage the rigid line of his shoulders before she tucked it behind her back. She couldn’t comfort him. That would be too…intimate. It would make them friends or something. She joined him by the window. The boys were sitting on the wide tree branch, talking. Even from this distance, Keith’s face looked radiant.
“Dustin’s surprisingly good with him.”
Maven met her gaze. “Sometimes we connect with someone when we least expect it.”
Since she was pretty sure he was talking about them, she looked away.
“Are you going to tell me what your ex said?”
She kicked the shredder again. “Pretty much what he always says. That’s why I’m so pissed. Why do I keep expecting he’ll wake up and realize he has the best son in the world, who’s waiting to shower him with everything he has?”
“Because you’re smart, and—to quote Dustin—he’s a fucker.” He raised his hands as if expecting a slap–down for his language.
Her mouth turned up, but she fought the smile. “I can’t keep doing this. It breaks Keith’s heart every time.”
“And yours when you have to lie to him again.”
“I hate lying.”
“I know.” He leaned back against the window jam. “Do you remember what you said to me in my office after the stunt Dustin pulled?”
Her mind searched for the memory. The first one it found was when Mac had devoured her in his arms. She rubbed her arms briskly and re–wound her memory further. “I said a lot of things. What specifically?”
<
br /> “When I asked you if you worried about him growing up without a father, you said you were more worried about how screwed up he’d be if his father was around.”
She huffed out a laugh. “Funny. I forgot that today. I need to type it out and put it in my purse.”
He pointed to her computer. “Have at it.”
“I want to kill him.”
“I get that.”
And he did. Hadn’t his story helped her understand him more? Her heart contracted. Uh–oh, she wasn’t going to feel this…whatever this was—not with him.
“Abbie has to take Dustin to soccer practice in a little while. Why don’t you let Keith come along? Might be good for him.”
She could do some chores while he was gone. Kick the shredder some more. “She wouldn’t mind?”
He shook his head. “No. Then you can come somewhere with me.”
Her thighs clenched at the invitation in his velvety voice. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
His smile grew until it stretched across his face. “I won’t call you a liar, not to your face, anyway.” He walked over and nudged the paper shredder. “I have a better idea for releasing your anger.”
She crossed her arms. “How?”
“Let me show you.”
“You’re going to have to sell it better than that.”
He tapped a finger to his lips. “Okay. That’s fair. If I were to describe it, I’d say it safely combines one of your best skill sets with an awesome view. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’ll bet you a new paper shredder you’ll even have fun.”
“Stop betting me!”
He took out his phone. “Can I call Abbie? I think Dustin would like spending some time with Keith too. We all need a little hero worship.”
Her gaze darted to the window. “He looks up to Dustin?” She fought with her Protective Mommy Syndrome.
“Only on this dad thing. Don’t worry.”
“Okay, but this had better be good.”
His eyes turned smoky, making her long for a fire extinguisher. “Oh, it will be, Peg. It will be.”
“And stop calling me Peg!” she fumed, storming out of the office.
When she reached the hall, she glanced toward her bedroom, thinking about checking her appearance in the bathroom. Then she pulled her hair. It was like Jill had said. He made her feel like a girl.
