“I want you to remember all of this when it’s my turn,” I said with a laugh.
“I got you, boo. Trust me, when it’s your turn, I’mma be there with bells on.”
I smiled and turned my head while she maneuvered awkwardly to wipe. The toilet flushed and she struggled with her panties – she was on her own with that part.
“Whew!” she exhaled. “I didn’t think I’d make it!”
We shared a laugh and then the conversation took a turn that I didn’t see coming.
“So…what was all that y’all had going on out there on the dance floor?” She asked.
My cheeks flushed red in my reflection as we stood at the sink. “What’re you talking about?” I couldn’t even look her in the eye as she washed her hands.
“Mmm hmm…I saw that look he was giving you.”
I blushed even harder.
“Girl, bye…AJ and I are nothing but friends.” As soon as the words left my mouth, Kira came through the door and I was so glad that she hadn’t entered a second sooner. I hoped that the awkward way Maisha and me abruptly ended our conversation didn’t give anything away.
“Ready?” Maisha asked, heading toward the door.
I nodded and took a few steps behind her, taking note of how tight Kira’s expression was. Had she noticed the connection between AJ and me out there?
Chapter Six
AJ
With Kira out of sight, I watched the one person in the room that I shouldn’t have had my eyes on. Sitting there with the new guy – Jason, or whatever his name is – she laughed at something he said while his hand landed on her thigh. I stared, watching as he touched her like I used to touch her…only it didn’t look like she enjoyed it nearly as much when he did it.
The form-fitting, turquoise dresses that Maisha chose for the bridesmaids hugged Sam’s body in all the right places – tight across her breasts and hips, showing off some of her best assets. At the thought of it, I could imagine what it would be like to let my hands run over the smooth satin, exploring her curves through the material. Even knowing that I shouldn’t have been looking, I couldn’t turn away.
Stop it. What the hell are you doing?
I chugged down the last of the champagne in my glass. I wasn’t jealous; it just seemed weird seeing her with someone else – with someone other than me. She smiled at him and he ate it up. I didn’t realize anyone noticed me staring until Terrell placed a hand on my shoulder.
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t really like him either. I just pretend to for Sam,” he said, taking the seat beside me while Maisha mingled with their guests.
I cleared my throat and looked in the opposite direction of Sam, pretending like she hadn’t had my undivided attention for the last two minutes or more. Terrell’s statement lingered in my head. Initially, I planned to ignore it, but I had to ask. It wasn’t like he didn’t know I was watching her anyway.
“You don’t like him?” I inquired, making sure my voice remained even.
He shrugged casually. “I mean…he seems okay enough. I just don’t think he’s right for her.”
“Based on?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he admitted with a smile. “Honestly, he’s never done or said anything that put me off. I just think there’s someone else out there for her.”
I smiled a little at the less than subtle plug. “So…having the two of us walk down the aisle together was your doing, I’m assuming?”
Terrell gave a satisfied nod. “Indeed. And I take cash, credit, and money orders only. No checks please, ‘cause I don’t know you like that.”
I laughed and shook my head.
He nudged my arm. “So…y’all been talking?”
I ran my finger around the rim of my empty glass while I thought. “Some. Nothing too heavy. Doesn’t seem like the time for that.”
“Does that mean there’ll be other times?” Terrell added, grinning like a kid on Christmas.
I couldn’t help but to chuckle. “Nah…that’s not what I’m saying. I only meant that this type of setting, with everything going on this weekend, hashing out the details of our past is not what’s important.”
“But you should keep in touch with her, though. I mean, you know…in my opinion. There’s no reason y’all can’t be –“
“Don’t even say it,” I interjected, smiling at how naïve Terrell apparently thought I was. “You know as well as I do that Sam and I don’t have the capacity to be ‘just friends’.” Without having to come out and say it, Terrell filled in the blanks. What happened out there on the dance floor was a prime example of what a ‘friendship’ between Sam and me would look like – a whole lot of awkward moments where one or both of us would have to walk away hot, bothered, and horny as hell with no possibility of getting our rocks off. It was easy to deny that there was still a sexual attraction to her before because I hadn’t been forced to face it. But now? I knew without a doubt that those urges were alive and kicking regardless of what negative energy still has a place in my heart after having her walk away from me before. Clearly, at least one part of my anatomy hadn’t gotten the memo about her no longer being a prospect.
“Well, I still say there’s something there worth exploring,” Terrell concluded, pushing his chair in when he stood. “And if you ever need an alibi to get away for a weekend, you know I got you. Just sayin’….”
I shook my head at him and ignored the offer. I wouldn’t need any alibis, because after this, I wouldn’t be speaking to Sam anymore. In fact, I’d already decided that, if and when our paths did cross again, it would be at some other random event hosted by one of our mutual friends…not by any doing of our own.
When I saw Kira emerge from the restroom, I cleared my throat and made sure my eyes stayed solely on her as she walked in the direction of where I sat at the bar. I forced a smile and returned her embrace when she tucked her small frame beneath my arm and stood there, watching couples on the dance floor.
“We should go out there and show them how it’s really done,” she joked, knowing good and well that she didn’t have an ounce of rhythm.
Dancing was the furthest thing from my mind, but I didn’t know how to tell her that. At the moment, I was fighting off the barrage of feelings – some new, some familiar – that had basically just fallen into my lap. Either way, I couldn’t seem to control it.
“Come on,” she insisted when another slow song came on.
Trailing behind a bit, I went.
We stopped in the middle of the floor and Kira’s arms came to rest on my shoulders as she laced her fingers at the back of my neck. A long breath helped to center my thoughts somewhat. Well…kind of.
‘Don’t even look over there’, played on repeat over and over again in my thoughts like a chant.
“Your heart feels like it’s about to leap through your shirt,” Kira commented, staring at my chest curiously.
I peered down at her and hid behind a smile. “That tends to happen when I dance with a beautiful woman.”
She deemed that an acceptable answer, although I knew there was more to my elevated pulse than the fact that I was holding Kira. On cue, I let myself steal one more look. When I did, Sam and her guy were coming out to dance too. They were way on the other side of the floor, but I still had a clear view of the two of them. He held her waist and pulled her in close. Real close. She held his shoulders and leaned her head over slightly when he placed a kiss on the side of her neck, followed by another, and another….
“What do you say we get out of here?”
Kira looked up into my eyes when the question flew from my mouth like a bullet.
“Are you feeling okay?” she asked.
No, not anymore.
“Yeah, I’m cool. Just kinda tired. Besides, all the important stuff is out the way. No real point in sticking around.” My blood was practically boiling and I couldn’t even put my finger on why.
Kira watched me for a few seconds, and then finally shrugged. “Okay…if
that’s what you wanna do.”
I nodded to confirm, and then looked for Terrell. When I approached him, Kira hung back a little. Tension crossed my shoulders and neck.
“Hey, look, I think I’m gonna take off,” I announced, shoving my hands inside my pants pockets.
Terrell looked me over. “Something happen?”
“No, everything’s fine,” I assured him. “It’s just been a long day.”
There was a slight look of disappointment that flashed across his face, but he didn’t let it linger. “Alright, man. Take it easy, then. Y’all still coming to the breakfast tomorrow, right?”
I almost cursed out loud – I’d forgotten about that part.
“Uh…yeah! We’ll be there,” I said, forcing enthusiasm. Truth was, I wanted to be back home in D.C. and back to the way my things were before coming here.
Terrell eyed me again. “You sure everything’s cool.”
I nodded. “Positive. See you in the morning, man.”
He stopped questioning me and eventually went back to talking to his uncle like he was before I interrupted. Kira smiled when she took my arm and I escorted her to the car.
“Did you have a good time at least?” Her voice rang out into the silence.
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “Umm, yeah. Everything was nice.”
In my peripheral, I noticed a smile on her face.
“There was the cutest old couple sitting at my table,” she started. “The man pulled his wife’s chair out for her whenever she got up, she shared her water with him when his was empty – you could just feel how much they love each other.” Kira reached across the console and gripped my hand. “That’s how I want us to be fifty years from now.”
I smiled back but didn’t respond.
“I really like the way the turquoise accents looked that Maisha picked out. I mean, I know we can’t do the same colors as them, but it gave me a few ideas.”
“Whatever you want,” I said out of habit.
“And we haven’t said much as far as a date, but how about my birthday next year. June’s the perfect month; and I checked, the eleventh falls on a Saturday, so it’s perfect. What do you think?”
“I think that’s perfect because I get to roll your birthday and anniversary gift into one,” I joked.
She laughed and snatched her hand away playfully.
“Kidding. That sounds fine, though,” I said, retracting my statement.
Kira rolled her window down a little and then took my hand again. “And I think there are some kinks that we need to work out with the guest list early on just so we know we’re on the same page.” She hesitated. “I really think you should consider including your father.”
My mood soured just thinking about him. “Kira –“
“It’s just a suggestion,” she interrupted. “Promise not to push, but it’s something to consider.” While I sat silently thinking of all the reasons why I hated the idea, Kira spoke up again. “I’m even thinking about inviting Reina.”
I smashed my foot against the brake when we stopped at the red light. The severe look that I shot Kira gave her pause.
“It’s just something I was thinking about,” she practically whispered.
I couldn’t even wrap my mind around why she would even think of inviting her sister. She knew better than anyone how much I hated Reina. The few family gatherings that Reina made it into town from Miami to attend, I avoided those events like the plague, meaning I hadn’t seen or talked to her since that day I tossed her out of my dorm room. I preferred it this way.
“It’s not like I want her to be in the wedding….I just thought it’d be nice if she were present. Besides with her expecting the twins in January, there’s no way she’ll have all that weight off by then. And you and I both know, she’s not gonna stand up there in front of all those people if she doesn’t feel like she looks her best,” she added, followed by a nervous laugh.
None of those petty details mattered to me. All I know is, I didn’t even want her there – in it or not. I turned to face traffic again with nothing to say when the light turned green.
“I know you dislike her, but…AJ, it’s been years. Besides, it’s not like things didn’t work out eventually.” I wasn’t sure what she meant by that until she squeezed my hand and added, “I mean, depending on how you look at it, she’s kind of the reason you and I got together. So shouldn’t you be past all this?”
Shouldn’t I be past it?
Images flipped through my mind like a silent movie. I recalled that moment that I stepped out of my bathroom and found Reina naked in my room….and that look on Sam’s face as she jumped to the most plausible conclusion about what’d taken place. Next, I remembered the way Sam cried and screamed in the courtyard. Then I thought of each and every other event that transpired as a direct result of what Reina had done. If she hadn’t showed up, Sam wouldn’t have been out on her own and vulnerable, and Antonio….
“She’s not coming,” I asserted, trying to mask the anger that was currently boiling in my veins.
Kira released my hand. “Are you serious? Just like that? No discussion?”
“We just did discuss it and she’s not invited,” I added, feeling the tension in my jaw as Kira stared.
When she sat back in her seat, she sighed and rested on her fist while staring out the window. “I knew it,” she whispered to herself.
Initially, I started not to respond, but I changed my mind when she started shaking her head. “You knew what?”
Kira chuffed a breath through her nose and glanced down at her engagement ring. “That that was why you can’t let this thing with my sister go.”
I frowned. “What’re you talking about?”
In the seconds it took Kira to respond, I shifted my gaze between her and the road several times. “This hatred you feel for her,” she said hesitantly. “I thought that maybe what she did just made you dislike her as a person – in general, but…it comes from somewhere deeper than that.”
Getting the feeling that this was about to be a longer conversation than I was up to having, I shut off the engine in the hotel lot. Kira didn’t bother waiting for me to open her door. We walked to the entrance in silence, holding our tongues until we were all the way in our room.
“Just what the hell are you getting at?” I asked flatly, removing the jacket to my tux when I did.
Kira set her clutch down on the dresser, but stayed fully clothed as she sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at her polished toenails instead of looking at me. And when she asked her next question, I understood why she wouldn’t make eye contact – it was a ballsy one.
“If you could rewrite history, you’d be with her wouldn’t you?”
“Who? Sam?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing.
Kira sighed when I sidestepped the question with a question of my own.
“History can’t be rewritten, Kira, so that’s kind of a moot point.”
She sat there in silence for a moment and then shook her head. “Maybe not…but it most certainly can repeat itself.” When she stood and disappeared in the bathroom, I felt my blood pressure rise. Removing the rest of my clothes, I killed the lights and climbed in bed in my boxers. By the time she came out, enough time had passed that I would’ve fallen asleep if I hadn’t been so mad.
Why would she say something like that? Me and Sam’s relationship was water under the bridge at this point. Kira knew better than anyone the kind of person her sister was. Why downplay my feelings toward Reina to make it seem like I’m just bitter about losing Sam? Granted, there was some truth to Reina being responsible, but Kira failed to see the bigger picture.
The sound of her feet padding closer to the bed frustrated me. When she sat and eased beneath the covers I stared at the ceiling. Her soft apology could barely be heard even over the quiet.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have said that,” she stated.
Frustrated, I sighed. “The issue is that yo
u even think like that. It’s a fact that, yes, if it hadn’t been for Reina it’s possible that Sam and I wouldn’t have broken up. However, things did go down the way they did and no one can go back and change that. My dislike for Reina isn’t because she messed things up for me and Sam. My issue with her is that she’s….her,” I concluded.
Kira was silent while she thought. “You’re right, it’s just that…” She paused and pushed her hair back in frustration. “This whole weekend is just…not what I expected.”
I turned so that I could see her through the darkness. “How so?”
She sighed first. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m this crazy, jealous girlfriend and I hate it,” she admitted, laughing a little. “You know I’ve never been ‘that girl’.”
“And I also know this is the first time you’ve ever met one of my ex’s….well, my only ex,” I amended. Liela, the crazy one, didn’t count. None of the others before Sam did really.
Kira nodded. “Yeah. And I’m failing at keeping up this whole ‘chilled, self-confident, modern-day, evolved woman’ thing I was hoping to pull off when I spoke to her at that meet-and-greet yesterday.”
We both laughed a little.
She sighed again. “I’m sorry if I ruined this for you with all my craziness.”
“Don’t apologize,” I replied, pulling her into my arms. There was a little guilt when I thought back to the feelings I had while I held Sam on the dance floor. I wasn’t completely innocent and Kira deserved better than that.
“Still love me?” She asked, snuggling her face into my neck.
My eyes drifted shut as she placed her hand on my cheek. If it hadn’t been for her, I’d probably still be broken, damaged goods. Only a certain kind of woman can heal a man form the inside out like that and I was lucky to have one fall right into my lap at the exact right time.
Kissing the palm of her hand before holding it to my chest, I told her what she needed to hear, and what I needed to remember: “You’re the only reason that I’m even able to love, Kira.”
Her cheek tightened against my neck when she smiled.
Exposed (Free Falling) Page 8
