Hopefully she had coffee.
On second thought, I hoped she didn’t. Because more than likely that cup would’ve met my face and I would’ve deserved it.
Without so much as looking through the peephole, I threw open the door, prepared to receive a scolding that only a sister-ish type woman could provide. Instead of finding my perturbed best friend ready to throw coffee at me, I came face-to-face with Aspen.
I stepped into the doorway, blocking my home from her sight. What I really wanted to do was slam the door in her face, but before I could act on my instinct she stepped forward.
“Please,” she uttered softly. “Hear me out.” Her gentle plea cut through me, soothing my compulsive rage. I managed to control my urge to laugh in her face then slam the door against her nose.
“What do you want, Aspen?” I spat her real name.
Gone was the eccentric masquerade mask from the night before. Another mask had taken its place. Thick black eyeliner, wild pink lips, and pale skin were highlighted by her dark hair hanging loosely around her face and ears. The sunlight caught hints of turquoise strands I’d missed last night. I liked it better than the purple. She wore a white tank top and black cargo pants with combat boots, and from the expression that now masked her face, she was just as uncertain about our current situation as I was.
“This was a bad idea,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have come.” Before I could reach out to stop her, she continued, “No. I came for a reason.” She inhaled, lifting her chin and jutting her jaw. Tears filled her eyes to the brim, but they never overflowed. “Can we talk?”
The sides of my mouth dragged downward as I contemplated her request. It would’ve been easy to slam the door in her face, but then I’d forever wonder what she wanted to talk about. All those months searching for her, and I was now in the dilemma of letting go or giving her a chance. If I’d learned anything, taking a chance opened the door to possibilities. I lifted my eyes heavenward and sighed in resignation. “Fine.” I stepped back, allowing her entrance into my house.
She walked inside and glanced around as I closed the door behind her. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. I’m a little surprised you know where I live.”
“Mercy.”
I waved an impatient hand out toward the sofa. “Ah. So, you’ve spoken with them. Shocker.” My voice was clipped, brimming with sarcasm.
She floated down onto my sofa. “Yeah. After you left Indulgence, they called me.”
I lowered myself into the armchair across from her. “I told them not to.”
Aspen brushed her bangs from her face then dug her phone out of her pocket. “They said that, too.”
A lull of silence hung in the balance. She tapped on her phone a few times, and my aggravation began to simmer. She said she wanted to talk to me, but she appeared more interested in her phone.
“So, what is it you want to talk about?” I groused.
She didn’t answer.
“Aspen?”
Rather than responding, she thrust herself forward, holding her phone out toward me. I took it and glanced down at a webpage that was open.
“What’s this?”
“Just read it.”
My anger roared inside me at her once again commanding me. That might’ve worked last night, but now, not so much. Having Aspen in my home was awkward enough without her behavior drudging up memories from last night. Yet there was something off about her. Her words were commanding, but her demeanor was more cowering. The bold Aspen I thought I knew was replaced by this weepy woman before me. It was kind of nice to see she did have a heart.
I scanned the page and realized it was a blog article.
“This is your article about last night?” I asked without actually reading.
“Sort of. Just read, please,” she pleaded.
The Real Heart of Indulgence
By: Aspen Church
The world waits on bated breath for the highlights from the year’s most anticipated event, Indulgence, hosted by none other than Sebastian Hawk. Last year, you heard first from me the most exciting story to have ever left Hawk Mansion since the induction of Indulgence. Sebastian Hawk, the man of the hour, was officially off the market. Now, I am pleased to reveal that one year later, Mr. Hawk has asked for the hand of his beloved in holy matrimony. The happy couple has offered to give me an exclusive of the events that led to their proposal.
I glanced up from the article. “I know all of this.”
“Keep reading,” she expressed.
My eyes dropped back to the tiny screen of the phone.
But to tell their story, I must first tell the story of another. Brix Johnson, local yoga instructor, only son of Heather Johnson, and grandson to Claire and Daniel Johnson...
My heart thudded to a stop in my chest. I jerked my eyes up from the screen to see a tear trickle down her face. “You’re not supposed to mention me,” I growled, ignoring her emotions. My aggravation burned like wild fire. All of this crap started because they were trying to protect me, to control me, and now she went off and published not only my name, but the names of my relatives in her stupid blog. “You signed a contract.”
“A contract Sebastian voided this morning.” Why was I not surprised by this development? Addison and Sebastian seemed to be unable to leave well enough alone, which only infuriated me more. “Please, read on.”
I nodded and continued reading:
My first encounter with Mr. Johnson was brief, but the impact was one of a lifetime. For had Mr. Johnson not been an acting member of Indulgence last year, Ms. George, the now beautiful fiancée of Mr. Hawk, may have walked away and we, their faithful fans, would not have had this epic love story to rejoice in.
As I continued to read, I realized she was telling the story about that night, but this time, it was my story. Addison and Sebastian were nothing more than supporting characters.
Mr. Johnson has an uncanny ability to leave a long, lasting impression on anyone he encounters. He cared nothing of himself in that moment. Merciful to the message of love, he encouraged Ms. George to follow her heart. Only someone who loves to the fullest, who embraces the power of love as the ultimate desire, can forgo physical gratification for that of the spiritual reward.
My mind poured over her words. They were soft, delicate, and full of passion. There was truth in the lines. Honesty was all that had mattered to me. Had everyone simply been honest from the start…
I stared at each word, rolling them around in my mind. A part of me was angrier than I could ever have imagined was possible. So much for me being Zen. She went behind my back to write this. Would it have been so difficult to ask my permission? Something none of them seemed capable to doing. Yet, while I was infuriated, I was also pleased. She wanted to prove to me she understood my side. Though she might not have gone about it in a way I would have preferred, she did what she knew best. She wrote.
As I pondered everything, I began to realize that the weight on my chest, though still there, had changed. The betrayal I’d felt was replaced by the vision in which this woman viewed me.
I glanced up at her as she swiped a tear from her cheek. “You see, Brix, I was messed up the night I overheard you and Addison, but what you said to her really hit me hard.” She scooted to the edge of her seat and placed her hands in her lap. “I need you to know where I was coming from that night and why Sebastian didn’t trust me.” She sniffed.
“Okay.”
“Honestly, he had every right not to trust me. You see, I’d been in a long term consensual bondage contract. My master and I had grown rather close, but not as close as I’d believed. Last year, Indulgence was a gift from him to me. We were supposed to attend together, but when I confessed my love to him, he cancelled our contract.”
“I’m so sorry.” I knew what rejection felt like. That was a sting that didn’t fade easily.
“Thanks. As a last-ditch effort, I decided to go to Indulgence anyway, which was an idiotic move, but I figured I
might run into my master and maybe, just maybe, I could regain his affection. But that wasn’t the case. I found out later he didn’t even attend. Instead, he spent the evening with a woman he ended up marrying.”
Double whammy. While my heart ached for her, I was lost in her story. This was the truth from Aspen. Real. Raw. Honest.
“Anyway,” she continued. “When my master sent in our applications, he left out an intricate part of my background. He failed to mention I’m a writer for an influential sex blog.”
“Wait? A sex blog?”
She nodded. “I’m actually a licensed sex therapist. That’s what he put on my application. Because my license could be verified and since I write under the alias, Cedar Abbey, at least up until now, it was easy to keep my identity concealed.”
“Wow!” I rasped, glancing down at the article. There it was in black and white. In a way, she had given me her name after all. Talk about me feeling like a prick.
She looked down at her hands. “Yeah. Anyway, I hit every room that night, determined to fuck my way through the pain, even though I knew that wasn’t an answer. That’s when I happened upon you.”
I slapped my hand over my face. “How humiliating.”
“On the contrary. I connected with you in that moment. I had to know what kind of man would react the way you did. I’d made a fool of myself when my master cut me loose, yet you pushed Addison out the door into the arms of another man.”
“Because I’m an idiot,” I teased.
She shook her head, her cheeks glistening in tears. “No. Because you’re a good guy and you really care about her.”
“I did.”
“You still do. And it was because you cared so much that I had to taste you.” She crossed her ankles and let out a deep sigh. “I knew the rules that night at the wedding, but when I saw you something in me snapped. I wanted to know what she let pass by. You were everything my master wasn’t. You seemed so innocent, so eager to learn. I couldn’t resist you.”
“But you walked away.”
“Which made me sick, but I was bound. It was bad enough I’d overstep my boundaries. If I stayed with you any longer I would’ve broken my contract. I wasn’t ready to do that. Not then.”
“And last night?”
“I knew as long as I was in that building, I was bound as a reporter, but outside I could tell you everything. I was ready to give up my badge and walk away with you, but then that tramp showed up and I snapped. I saw you as my master and began to relive the pain of last year all over again.”
I rushed my fingers through my hair, aggravated. “If they had just left well enough alone─”
“You have to know they didn’t do this on purpose. Addison was dumped into the high-profile world of Sebastian. He only wanted to protect her. In doing that, they also wanted to protect you.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Shouldn’t they have asked me if I wanted to be protected?”
“That’s not how this world works. Silence is the only protection. One little ember of scandal and the media pounces. I did and I wasn’t even a real reporter. At least not at that time. You see,” she pointed to the phone still resting in my hand, “that article is not only posted on my blog, but it is also live on The Daily Independent.
I swiped the now dark screen and glanced at the top. The website was that of the Independent.
“Holy…”
“My story about you has gone viral. I never expected that when I wrote it. I only wanted to express the truth. I’d lied to you. I’d lied to Sebastian and Addison. Hell, I even lied to myself. This article was me coming clean. We’ve had almost two million hits so far and the numbers keep rising.”
“But why? I’m just a yoga instructor. I’m a nobody.”
“You’re a yoga instructor who knew when to walk away. You were willing to take chances, live in the moment. And while Addison left you, you still gained a fan in me.”
“A fan.” I snorted. “I think I was the fan. I tried to find you. I even tattooed a piece of you on me.”
“I’m honored, but really, I am the fan. You see, you had nothing to go off of. I, on the other hand, had it all. I researched you inside and out. Every nuance, down to how you like your coffee.”
“Black,” we stated in unison.
She chuckled. “Anyway, I wanted you to hear this from me, since my story has gone viral.” She stood up, brushing her hands along her pants. “I know I probably should’ve asked you if writing this story was okay, especially since everyone has gone out of their way to protect you, but I felt like you’d be okay with it. It gets the truth out there.” A little stunned that she already knew that about me, I lifted from my seat and handed back her phone. “Thank you for letting me in, both your life and your house, today. It’s been a real honor, Brix Johnson. I hope one day you find what you’re seeking. You deserve it.”
As we started toward the door, I couldn’t squelch the thoughts running through my head. All of this and for what, anonymity? That might be okay for Indulgence, but it wasn’t for me. Was I still angry with Aspen, Sebastian, Addison, and even Mercy for hiding the truth from me ─ absolutely ─ but that wasn’t going to stop me from doing the one thing I knew deep down was right.
“What do you say to grabbing a cup of coffee and talking?” I blurted out.
Aspen whipped around, her brow furrowed. “You don’t hate me?”
I shook my head and moved in closer to her. “No, I don’t hate you. I may not like you much right now, but I don’t hate you. And I want to know more about you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, but I am going to make a contract of my own with you.”
“How so?”
“From this moment forward, you must declare you’ll never lie to me again. Everything, and I do mean everything, is on the table. We talk. We get to know one another and then we go from there.”
Aspen tilted her head, her dark eyes analyzing me. “So no sex?”
“No sex. If our last encounters have taught us anything, it’s that we’re sexually compatible. But I want to get to know you, Aspen Church. The real you. And I think sex would muddle that.”
Aspen seemed to consider my proposition. After a moment or two, she thrust out her hand to me. “It’s a deal. But you have to be just as open.”
I took her hand and shook it. “Agreed.”
“Agreed.”
After a quick shower and a call to my mother, who was bombarding my phone with messages about the article, and another to Autumn, ensuring she made it home safely, I went out with my bombshell, for the first time, on a real date.
Waiting in line at the coffee shop, I felt every pair of eyes in the place honed in on me. I tried to act cool, but knowing you’re being watched is one of the world’s most uncomfortable feelings.
I glanced at the door then down at my watch. We said we’d meet at four-thirty. She was now five minutes late.
Next in line, it felt as if the whole establishment went silent in hopes of hearing what I was about to order. I stepped up to the counter and requested, “A Grande Pike, please, with extra foam.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth when people began chatting again.
Three days. It had been three days since Aspen’s article hit the newsstands and in just those three days my life had been turned upside down. Aspen did her best to console me, but having my life placed under a microscope was a bit unnerving.
After a random woman marched up to me on the street and demanded I help her find a man just like Sebastian Hawk, I decided it was time to call someone who had been in my shoes and would be able to give me some sound advice. Hence my meeting with Addison George today.
As I took my hot beverage to a table, still keeping an eye on the door, my cellphone rang. I pulled it from my pocket, expecting a call from Addison with an explanation as to why she was late. Much to my dismay, it was my mother.
I contemplated not answering it. Since it was still the beginning of the month, I knew sh
e wasn’t calling for money. That left only one other thing on her wish list ─ meeting Sebastian Hawk. Every day, since the story broke, she’d hounded me over meeting the man and demanding I get her an invitation to the next Indulgence event. I shuddered at the thought of my mother walking around naked and screwing everything in sight.
The phone continued to ring and I noticed several sets of eyes on me. With a huff, I answered it.
“Hey, Brixie,” her nasally voice resounded.
“What can I do for you, Mom?” I droned.
“Why is it every time I call you think it’s because I want something? Am I not allowed to want to talk with my son?”
I took a deep draught of my coffee. The heat blistered my tongue, but I didn’t care. I needed the pick-me-up. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
“You wound me!”
The door opened and I glanced to see who was entering. Still no Addison, but I did have another spectator who seemed all too pleased to recognize me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply─”
“No worries. Now, did you see the news this morning?”
I scratched my head and leaned back into the seat. “You mean about the snow we’re supposed to get today? Yeah, I saw it. I doubt it’ll happen─”
“No! Not that news,” my mother caterwauled over me. “I’m talking about the news that Jennifer Lawrence is to star in the film adaptation of Silent Partners.”
I took another sip of my coffee. “Okay? So?”
“So! You have to help me meet her.”
My cup was to my lips and it was a good thing I hadn’t taken another drink or my table would’ve been covered in coffee. I placed my cup back on the table with a sigh. “Mom, why would you think I’d have access to Jennifer Lawrence?”
“You have access to Sebastian Hawk, dear. I’m sure he’ll be on the set of his movie.”
Oh good grief! It was worse than I’d expected. Now she wanted to use Sebastian’s influence to meet celebrities. I would’ve been better off with her asking for money.
Satisfaction (Taking Chances #2) Page 13
