by Anna Paige
She was thoughtful for a while. “Will there need to be medical staff there for the children?”
“Not in any major capacity, as we intend to focus on kids who are pre- or post-treatment, not undergoing anything at the time of their visit. They’ll require medical clearance before arriving. We have an entire list of volunteers. Nurses, CNAs, and several physicians who are as we speak spreading the word and building us a network of volunteers who we can schedule as far as six months in advance.” I looked over and met her eye, feeling that familiar warmth spread across my chest as she gave me a soft, encouraging smile. “Don’t worry, Talia. We plan to take extra special care of those kids.”
“I never doubted you for a minute,” she told me earnestly, lifting a hand to push her hair behind her ear. “I know you’ll be amazing with those children. You do plan to spend time there, don’t you? I can’t see you being able to stay away, what with how much you love kids.”
The sorrow in her voice tore at my heart.
“I’ll spend as much time there as I possibly can. So will Clay and Brant. Even Clay’s Aunt Vanessa has been recruited.” Vanessa was charge nurse at a hospital in Fredericksburg. “She’s using her medical contacts to help expand our reach. We don’t just need staff, you know, we need the names of candidates to invite to the retreat.”
“How long do you think the build will take?” Her tone was a mixture of eagerness and anguish. It would be amazing to do this for the children and still so heartbreaking that the children were sick.
We couldn’t keep the children from being ill in the first place, but we could give them a place to just be kids for a while.
“Six months is the goal. It’s going to be a grueling schedule to keep but we’re bringing in several additional builders to take care of the satellite houses while Clay, Brant, and myself focus on the main building.” I kept my eyes fixed forward as I admitted, “I think everyone involved is going to give it a hundred and ten percent because we know some of those kids might miss out on the experience if we drag our feet.” My throat closed up at the thought and I reached toward the cup holder for my bottle of water.
Talia’s hand shot out and grabbed it first, opening it and handing it over to me.
I tipped the bottle back and drained half of it before I could find my voice. “Thank you,” I told her.
“No, Spencer, thank you. Thank you for moving forward with this even after what I did to you. Thank you for putting your anger at me aside in favor of the needs of those kids. You really are amazing.” She sniffed softly. “I was too stubborn to say this last week but I want you to know I really am sorry about how I handled things with us. You didn’t deserve to go through that again, not after what your wife did to you.”
“No, she really cheated but no one told me until after the fact. This time was the complete opposite of that,” I said. “I only thought you cheated and found out afterward that you hadn’t. I should never have believed it in the first place. Even at the time, something inside me was screaming that it wasn’t true. I’m sorry I didn’t have more faith in you, sweetheart. Maybe it would have made all the difference.”
She didn’t speak, didn’t confirm or deny that my quick acceptance of her lie had solidified for her that she was doing the right thing.
But we both knew it was the truth. As angry as I was at what she’d done, I knew I was partially to blame for not having more faith in her, for letting my experiences with Ivey color my perceptions. I should have fought harder in the beginning so I wouldn’t have to fight so hard now.
A few minutes ticked by as I drove us closer to our destination, surrounded by the sound of her soft breathing in my ear and the deep rumble of the engine.
Something had to give.
Without a word, I pulled off the road and parked on the shoulder, unsnapping my seatbelt and turning to face her fully.
Before she could speak, I put my hand to the back of her slender neck and pulled her to me, crashing my mouth into hers. The feel of her lips on mine was like a flame igniting a lake of gasoline. My entire body was alight, the last remaining wisps of cold emptiness that had consumed me since the day I thought I lost her fell away, replaced by a heat so strong it threatened to burn me alive.
With my free hand, I caressed her jawline and traced a line down to the curve between her neck and shoulder, thrilling at the way she moaned into my mouth at the contact, opening herself to my tongue.
I slid my hand back around so that I was holding her face to mine on both sides, thumbs idly caressing her cheek as I worked her with my mouth. Jesus, I’d missed the taste of her on my tongue. Her soft moans were enough to make me go half-insane with lust, but I kept my focus on her mouth, nipping at her lips and tangling my tongue with hers until I felt my control start to slip from my tenuous grip.
I pulled back and gave her several small kisses, barely making contact with her swollen lips before calmly and wordlessly sitting back in my seat and pulling the car back onto the road.
Talia sat there in stunned silence for the rest of the trip to Denson, twirling the wide diamond cuff at her wrist and staring out the window. I could tell from her breathing that she was fighting to contain her arousal.
So was I.
If I got any harder, my erection would get caught in the damn steering wheel.
WHEN WE TURNED down the back road that led to Clay’s property, Talia perked up, looking around eagerly as if she might be able to spot whatever I’d brought her here to see before I had a chance to present it to her formally.
No such luck, sneaky girl.
I turned down Clay’s driveway and cringed at the uneven gravel, trying not to think about the possibility of dragging the Chevelle’s undercarriage on some of the larger rocks that had yet to be removed. I hadn’t considered that I might be coming to the property when I drove the car to the wedding.
Oh well, nothing to be done about it now.
Truth was, I’d enter the damn car in a demolition derby if that’s what it took to get her back.
If that wasn’t love, I had no fucking idea what was.
Once we parked, I cut the engine and climbed from the car, circling around to open Talia’s door.
“So, not to sound unimpressed but... I don’t see anything.” Her eyes darted around the empty lot as she took my hand and stood, moving aside so I could close the car door behind her.
I laughed easily, emboldened by the fact that she still held on. “Sorry, precious, but the journey isn’t over.” I pointed to the abandoned shed in the far corner of the lot. “We still have a ways to go.”
She looked confused but followed along without comment, hand in mine as I approached the shed and opened the door. Inside was a bright red ATV, recently washed and ready to carry us to our destination.
She stood aside while I climbed on and started it, backing it out and leaving it running while I closed the shed door.
Her eyes roamed over the machine suspiciously and flicked to me. “I don’t know if I like the idea of riding off into the woods with you on something called a Brute Force.” She tilted her head to the side, expression playful for the first time. “It just sounds sinister, don’t you think?”
I walked over and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her roughly against me. “You know me better than that, baby. I may be forceful, but I’m no brute.” I leaned in and nipped her earlobe, whispering. “And as much as I’m dying to be inside you again, I’m not going to make love to you until we are both on the same page about some things. So there’s no reason not to climb on and ride...” her breath was ragged in her chest as I leaned back and winked. “The four-wheeler, that is.”
She waited for me to retake my spot on the seat and slowly lowered herself behind me, arms gripping my waist. “You better go slow, mister,” she warned as we took off across the field.
My laughter made her huff in my ear, muttering something under her breath that sounded remarkably like ‘shithead,’ which made me laugh even louder.
Her responding yelp was fucking priceless as she practically wrapped her whole body around me, cursing under her breath as I made my way through the gears and tore off down the narrow path I’d traveled almost every day for two months.
When we were almost to our destination, I leaned back into her body and slowed us to a crawl, raising my voice to be heard. “This place, where we’re going, has become sort of an obsession for me. Every time I came here, I felt somehow closer to you, more connected. That’s how I knew what I was doing was the right thing. Not just for you but for both of us.”
She nuzzled against my back, laying her head against me to block the wind.
I spotted the clearing up ahead and slowed a little more, needing to finish what I was saying before she saw what I’d done. “I want you to know that I spent a lot of my time here thinking about what I want out of my life, what I see when I picture myself in five years, ten, twenty. And it’s true that if you asked me that question a few months ago, the first thought in my mind would have been that I would be coaching my son’s little league or attending my daughter’s dance recital. Because that was what I’d always wanted. I had amazing parents who gave me a great life and I wanted to be that for a child of my own someday.”
I pulled to a stop fifty yards from the clearing, switched off the four-wheeler, and turned to look at her, twisting around and lifting her chin so she would meet my eye. “But like you said Talia, dreams change, plans change. That’s just part of life and I’m glad of it because the dream I have now is right in front of me, real and warm and everything I could ever hope for.” Her eyes filled with tears and I quickly kissed her lips. “My life will never be complete without you in it. You’re my future now, my every dream and fantasy, my heart. And nothing else matters to me except that. Nothing.”
“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, Spencer.” She lay her head on my shoulder and cried, arms gripping me like we were still moving at breakneck speed.
And maybe we were, but man what a ride it would be.
Talia
IT TOOK AN embarrassingly long time for me to get myself together after Spencer finished speaking.
Every time I thought I had a handle on my emotions another surge of relief overtook me, and I was swept away again on a river of tears.
When I finally found the ability to speak, I leaned back and met his eye. “I love you, Spencer. More than you’ll ever know.”
He dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine in a soft, sweet kiss that was over all too soon. “It’s a good damn thing, sweetheart, because you’re stuck with me now,” he teased, turning back to restart the ATV.
I pressed my body forward and lay my head on his back, smiling contentedly as we started off again.
A short time later, we pulled to a stop, and I lifted my head to ask if we were finally there when my eyes fell on the scene before me, robbing me of the ability to breathe.
Yellow... everywhere I looked... yellow.
The entire meadow was filled with yellow daisies.
Thousands and thousands of them.
I absently took the hand Spencer offered and climbed off of the ATV, everything else forgotten except the unimaginable beauty before me. There was the slightest shift in the soft breeze, causing the entire field to come alive with movement. The flowers seemed to dance on their stems, swaying rhythmically as if greeting us.
“The drawing you saw at the church showed it as a garden but I thought this was a better fit,” Spencer muttered, watching me as I looked on in awe.
Dammit, I was crying again. At this rate I was going to dehydrate and dry up like a damn raisin. “You did this?” I asked Spencer, blindly reaching for his hand.
His hand enveloped mine and he stepped closer to my side. “I did.” He confirmed, watching me. “I was worried they wouldn’t bloom in time but I guess someone upstairs was looking out for me.”
I bet I know who, I thought to myself, smiling as tears fell from my eyes. She’s been looking out for us both.
He lifted our joined hands to his mouth, kissing the backs of my fingers. “I call it the Yeddow Meadow.”
A giggle pushed its way up my throat and pressed past my trembling lower lip, escaping just as I broke free of his hold and raced out into the meadow, tears streaming and my hair blowing behind me as I danced through the knee-high flowers.
My laughter spilled out in huge waves that felt like a purging of my soul. I laughed so deep and so long I felt myself getting lighter by the minute, as if I might actually float away. I spun and skipped in a way I hadn’t since I was a little girl, smiling so wide my cheeks ached.
When I realized Spencer hadn’t joined me, I stopped long enough to find him standing right where I’d left him, an absolutely gorgeous smile on his already heart-stopping face.
I motioned for him to come to me and he didn’t hesitate, moving carefully through the flowers, stooping slightly and dragging his fingers over the tops as he passed.
When he got close, I moved toward him and pulled him to the ground with me. We lowered ourselves to our knees, careful to crush as few flowers as possible, and he watched me through desire-hooded eyes.
“So, is it safe to assume you like it?” His tone was joking but his eyes were anything but.
I could see the uncertainty that still lingered, fear that this amazing gift somehow wasn’t enough. I loved that part of him, the sweet, fragile boy he kept hidden most of the time.
“I think it’s my new favorite place in the entire world.” I lowered myself to sit on my heels and waited for him to do the same. “I suppose a part of me knew it was here before I ever laid eyes on it.”
He cocked his head to the side curiously. “How so?”
I looked down to the thick cuff on my wrist and slowly slid it off to reveal the ink beneath, only a few weeks old. It was finally healed and looked amazing to my completely biased eyes. I found myself staring at it often as I pondered my future, the one that had changed forever a few months ago and just kept evolving toward greatness as each week passed.
Ali’s mom had been adamant about the tattoo being covered for the ceremony and reception, as if it were something shameful and low-class. I only went along to keep her from making a fuss. And I’d used the suggestion at the Denson wedding, too, since I hadn’t been ready to share it with Spencer.
Until now.
I scooted closer so that our knees touched, I lay my arm in my lap and showed him my newly-exposed wrist.
He blinked down at it and smiled broadly, taking in all of the elements—the bright yellow daisy with the single petal that seemed to float on a breeze as it transformed into a beautiful yellow butterfly—he ran his fingers over each petal before he moved his hand to graze the tiny replica of my stretch mark that served as the butterfly’s ‘body.’
Then he traced the small careful script that made up the ‘stem’ of the daisy.
no love is ever wasted...
It was done in his handwriting, exactly as it appeared in his note to Amelia, captured forever and there on my skin to remind me of the truth of his words.
His eyes flicked back to mine as he stroked my wrist, blinking rapidly. “I never intended for you to see that note. I thought it would be gone by the time you visited again.” There was an apology in his voice, and I wasn’t about to let him regret the amazing thing he’d done. Any of the amazing things he’d done.
“I never imagined I would find someone who loved me enough to do something so beautiful,” I told him thickly, bracing my other hand on my thigh to keep it from shaking. “And I’m not just talking about the note to Amelia or this stunning meadow. The children’s retreat and the visit from Cameron and about a hundred smaller gestures told me how much you cared, how much you loved me.”
I blinked the tears from my eyes. “And you were right, Spencer. No love is ever wasted. Whether the person y
ou love is with you a day, a week, a month,” I ran a trembling finger over the butterfly’s body. “Four short years, or a lifetime; the love is never wasted. I know that now. Love feeds us, sustains us, shows us who we really are and what amazing things we are capable of—no matter the outcome, it serves a purpose.” I locked eyes with him, speaking earnestly. “And sometimes it scares us so badly, takes us so unaware, that we forget what’s truly important and make horrible mistakes. Then all we can do is hope for forgiveness. I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. I’m so incredibly sorry that I let my fear and foolishness tear us apart. My heart knew better—knew we were meant for each other—but I didn’t listen.”
“Sweetheart...” he breathed out softly, reaching out to run the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “Please don’t. It’s okay now. We don’t have to dwell on it. We have too much to look forward to—too many adventures ahead—to spend any more time looking back.” His eyes searched my face. “I found an amazing venue in Richmond where you can open a second location.” His voice was hesitant, full of hope. “Unless you’d still rather expand further north, in which case, I guess CBD will have to open a D.C. office so I can be with you. Whatever it takes, sweetheart, I intend to make this work.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “All I want is to make you happy, and not just today, Talia. Always.”
“You’ve given me more happiness than I could ever hope for already, more than you even know… but are you sure you’d be happy? You wouldn’t feel like you missed out on something important to be with me?”
He held my eye and there was no hesitation in his voice when he told me the one thing I’d needed so desperately to hear before we moved forward.
“I’m positive. You’re enough for me.” He frowned. “Scratch that, because it sounds like there’s more out there to be had and as far as I’m concerned, that’s not true. You’re not enough... you’re everything, Talia. Everything. And I know without a doubt that we’ll have an amazing life together, just the two of us.”
