"My God…why not?"
"Frank couldn't handle the idea that we were not going to be rich. Money drove him. Every day he went to work at the mine, there was nothing there. It took him a year and a half to admit that, and when he did he vowed he'd find a way…to make it happen."
"Did he?"
"He tried to jump a man's claim. The man killed him over it." Gabby lamented sadly. "They came to tell me and I didn't even cry for him. I just stood there and nodded numbly. Later I cried for Jimmy. But Jimmy reacted strangely too. He kept asking about him for a while, and then one day he just stopped. I think even he had to come to terms that his father was not much of a father."
"But…at night didn't he come home?"
"Sometimes. By that time he was drinking heavily. Some times, he came home and passed out on the bed. Other times he was mad and hitting me…in front of Jimmy. We fought over his drinking and the mine. I hated that. Sometimes it seemed I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. I told him I hated it. He drank more. But I just didn't know how to stop him. I'll admit I nagged him, and he simply quit loving me, if he ever really did. This is going to sound cold and unfeeling, but his death was a blessing to me and Jimmy." Gabby felt a tear roll down her cheek. "After a while, when he would try to kiss me, I got to where I'd turn away from him. It was my fault as much as his. That's why I don't understand it when Ben kisses me. It's so different. I want his kisses. I don't understand why it's so different. I barely know Ben. It doesn't seem quite fair. Like I cheated Frank somehow."
"Sometimes it's what you feel inside that is important. You see Gabby, love is feeling. Of course, it is different. Ben knows how to gentle a woman. And he wouldn't bother kissing you like that if there weren't some feelings growing between the two of you."
"I'm afraid gentling a man is a mystery to me." Gabby chuckled. "Frank used to kiss me and say nice things to me, before we were married. Afterward, it was as if he forgot how. Like it was no longer a pleasure, but a duty, just as my lying down for him was my duty."
"Not true from what I just saw, you gentle Ben just fine." Helena laughed. "Does Ben know all of this about your husband?"
"About Frank, some of it."
"Good. Have you noticed he hasn't been drunk since you agreed to marry him?" Helena pulled away to look into her tearful eyes.
"You're right. I hadn't noticed." Gabby began to smile. "I should have, but I hadn't…"
"It is good that you two are married. I will pray for that marriage every day." Helena promised. "If it is God's will it will grow stronger."
"I'm so glad you are here." Gabby took her hands and rubbed the top of them. "I can't imagine living here without you. I haven't had a woman to talk to since my mother died, and I was pretty young then."
"Didn't you have friends when you were growing up?" Helena questioned.
"Only one. She used to come over, her name was Olive and she and I could talk for hours. But Pa didn't like it, because it took me away from the work and he needed help."
"What happened to her?"
"She ran off and got married. She was only sixteen. She married a man twice her age and I never saw her or heard from her again. I sure did miss her though." Gabby recalled with sadness.
Helena got up. "Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to work?"
"Of course," Gabby stood up too. "I can't sit idly by while you do everything. We should share everything, unless it bothers you in some way."
"Bothers me, as much as I loved Vera, she never touched a dirty dish, or hung clothes on the line after I came. Neither did her daughter. She was the grand lady, and I think it was that attitude that drove Jason to work twice as hard at ranching. You see she came from a rich family. She'd grown up with maids and servants. I'm glad you are different. I feel we can talk to each other and keep each other company. It will be a good thing." She glanced at her. "So, I have hung the rugs outside on the clothes line, will you beat the dust out of them for me, while I get dinner started?"
"Of course I will." Gabby sighed, glad that Helena didn't feel threatened because she wanted to help her.
"That will save me some time. I want to make a pie today. I think I'm going to like this friendship a lot…" She smiled at her.
Chapter Eleven
"So have you picked out a name for him?" Ben asked Jimmy as they rode toward the crowd of cowboys doing the branding. Butch the sheep dog followed along their side.
"Yeah…I'm gonna call him Sugarfoot." Jimmy beamed.
"Where did you get a name like that?" Ben laughed.
"Mama used to call me Sugarfoot." Jimmy blushed.
"She doesn't call you that any more?" Ben questioned.
"Naw…I'm too big. I'll be five on my birthday."
"A birthday soon, huh?"
"Yes sir." Jimmy grinned, holding the reins like Ben had told him, and trying to keep his boots in the stirrups. However, his legs weren't long enough and they dangled most of the time. Ben noticed how he was sincerely trying to do everything Ben had told him.
"What day?" Ben asked.
"It's in July…"
Ben nodded.
"Do you like my Mama?" Jimmy blurted.
"Well of course I do…why?"
Jimmy shrugged. "'Cause I'd like you to stay my Pa."
Ben glanced at him with surprise and a small thrill raced through him. "You would?"
"Yeah…my real daddy…he wasn't home much. I can't remember him very good. Mama never talks about him. I don't think he liked my Mama much—"
"What makes you say that?" Ben glanced at him, alarmed that Jimmy would think that.
Jimmy looked down at the ground, digging his small boot into the dry earth, then up at Ben. "He was mean. He used to hit her." Jimmy frowned.
Ben stopped in the saddle and turned to stare at him. "Did he hurt her bad?"
"Uh huh." Jimmy hung his head. "One time real bad. He slammed her against the wall, and she didn't get up, she doubled over in pain, and I didn't know what was wrong. The lady next door came over and helped."
"I'll never hurt her Jimmy." Ben's frown grew.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Sometimes. Mama used to cry a lot. But now…she doesn't cry." Jimmy informed him. "She even smiles a little. She's a good Mama, and I don't want to go and live with my daddy's folks."
"You don't?"
"No sir. I don't like them."
"Well, I don't think you are going to have to worry about them, Jimmy." He glanced at him. "You know hitting a woman is the worse thing a man can do, practically. And I'm sorry you had to witness it. You and your mama have had it rough. But all of that is going to change." Ben declared. "And I want to adopt you and give you my name. Would that be alright?" Ben asked gently.
"You mean it?"
"I mean it." Ben smiled.
Jimmy smiled. "So my name would be Wyler too?"
"That's right."
Jimmy looked very happy. "Do you think she'll be proud of me today?"
"I think she will yes. You are doing great on Sugarfoot. I think he must like you. You pay attention, that's good." Ben saw Jimmy beam with a smile. "You keep paying attention and you just might be the best cowboy around."
"I like grandpa too. He tells me stories about stuff."
"Grandpa's are special." Ben laughed. "I remember mine. He did the same thing."
"Where is he?" Jimmy asked.
"He went to heaven." Ben explained.
"What's heaven?" Jimmy blinked hard.
Ben sighed heavily. "It's where we go if we try our best to be good and love each other. Did you and your mother go to church much?"
"No sir, we lived in a dirty town. Mama said God didn't live in that town."
"But you know who God is, right?"
"Sure…he's the one she prays to." Jimmy answered.
"That's right. Maybe we can all go to church together." Ben offered. "Would you like that?"
"Sure…" Jimmy nodded. "If heaven is where the good go
, where do the bad go?"
"It's a bad place, no one likes it there, and they call it hell."
"I guess that's where my daddy went then. For treating Mama so bad."
Ben hung his head. He couldn't argue with that.
Riding slowly it took a while to get to the branding field. But Ben didn't want to rush Jimmy. He wanted him to gain confidence in riding and not be afraid of his horse. Jimmy had taken to the pony easily and he minded so well Ben was astonished. He'd never seen a boy so young do so well, but it had to do with how he was raised.
Today gave him more insight into his wife and his son. Despite his father's insistence, it was getting easier to accept being married. Ben made it easier. Maybe in time, things could work out.
He knew Gabby was skittish and he knew he'd have to go slow so she would learn to trust him. Trust was important. And she had a good reason not to trust any man.
Ben introduced Jimmy to the branding crew, and all the fellas seemed happy to have him there. Cal got on his knees a time or two and talked to Jimmy about his own son, Ford.
"I know I met him at the wedding. He's got a frog. I like frogs. I like most animals."
As they sat around the campfire, Jimmy let bits and pieces of his childhood escape.
"Did you have a lot of friends in Colorado?" Ben asked.
"Naw…we didn't go out of the house much. Mama said it wasn't safe." Jimmy recalled, not bothered by the questions.
Later Ben pulled him aside, "Why didn't you go out much?"
"Mama was scared. She didn't say so…but I'd see her shaking."
"Well, you'll have friends here." Ben assured him.
Cal and Pedro called him over to the fire. "Would you like to brand the new calf?"
"Me?" Jimmy looked shocked.
"Sure…it's not that hard. I'll help you." Pedro smiled.
Pedro put the iron in his hand, and Ben held his hand over Jimmy's. "It's very hot Jimmy, so don't drop it."
Jimmy nodded.
They moved toward the young calf. Jimmy's eyes got big as saucers, as the boys held the calf down.
"I gotta stick that on him?" Jimmy asked, his face screwed up in a frown. "Won't it hurt him?"
"No, he'll hardly feel it. That's what branding is." Ben told him.
"But it will hurt him…" Jimmy cried.
"They have tough hides Jimmy; they don't feel it that much. Come on, let's do this."
Jimmy edged toward the calf. The calf bellowed a bit, but Ben's hand guided him to the hip of the calf and gently laid the iron down, then pressed hard and lifted it.
Jimmy saw the brand and his eyes got big once more. "I did it!" He jumped up and down.
The calf hurried to get up and scramble away.
"Did I hurt him?"
"He's fine now…" Ben drawled softly. Jimmy had a soft heart and somehow he was going to have to be very careful how he taught him about ranching.
Jimmy stared at the calf. The calf was fine, standing close to its mother. Jimmy looked up at Ben. "How come you gotta do that…?"
"So other ranchers know it's our cattle."
Jimmy thought about that for a minute. "Oh…"
"You see each rancher has a different brand."
Jason arrived a little later and called Jimmy over to him. "Hey, have you seen the newborn calves yet?"
"No sir."
"Then come on, let's go." Jason motioned for him to mount his pony and go with him, but Jimmy couldn't get up on him by himself and Ben saw them and came over to heist him up.
"Thanks Pa." Jimmy smiled.
Ben nodded and waved at him.
"We'll be back directly." Jason told him.
"Take it easy, Jimmy isn't read for the gallup yet."
"I think I've taught you before, so I should be able to manage." Jason informed him.
Ben nodded.
Pedro came over to Ben as they were riding off. "He learns fast."
"Yeah, but he sure didn't want to hurt that calf. He's soft hearted." Ben smiled. "I guess he'll get the hang of it as he gets older."
"Sure all kids are skittish about it at first. But he is like his mother, no?" Pedro smiled at him.
"Yeah…" Ben nodded.
"He's young yet. He will get the hang of it if we keep teaching him." Pedro assured him. "So how do you like fatherhood?"
Ben sipped his coffee and watched them brand the next cow. "Better than I thought I ever would. I mean I've always liked kids, just never thought I'd have one of my own."
"And the marriage?"
"That too." Ben smiled.
"Si, she is a beautiful woman. She is also kind and strong. She will make a good wife." Pedro muttered.
"Alright, she's beautiful, she's kind, and she's strong. Now can we get back to work?" Ben sent him an exaggerated frown.
"Sure boss…" Pedro smiled and walked off.
Ben knew he'd neglected his work around the ranch and that it was almost like starting all over with the boys, but none of them complained. He got along good with them all. Ben helped with the branding until his father came back. Jimmy ran to tell him all about the calves he saw and his blue eyes sparkled with life.
"How are you and Sugarfoot doing?" Ben asked.
"He's a good pony." Jimmy smiled.
Pedro heard him and nodded. "Si, he is the best for you."
Jimmy beamed.
As the branding continued, a new crew of cowboys came over to Jimmy and introduced themselves. They talked up a storm and Jimmy was having a great time, from the look on his face.
Jason watched for a short time then he brought out the new irons and let the boys try them.
After a dozen brandings, Cal came back to camp. "They work great."
"Good." Jason nodded and mounted his horse.
Pedro came over. "You leaving?"
"Yeah, looks like you all have it under control. I just came out to see Jimmy and show him the calves. It's getting hot and I'm tired. See you fellas later."
Pedro walked up to his horse. "Ben is taking hold again."
"Yeah, he is, and that's a good thing. I'm getting a little tired of ramrodding all of you men. It's time he was taking over for me." Jason confided his face screwed up into a wadded frown.
"Dad, you got a minute?" Ben asked walking up to them.
"I guess so, what's up?" Jason asked his frown fading. "Joe Hodges wanted you to look at their bull, they are anxious to sell and I told him one of us would ride over and take care of it. Can you?" Ben asked.
"I guess what about you? Why didn't you handle it?" Jason asked.
"'Cause you are a better haggler than I am, any day. Besides, I'm not too anxious to run into Mrs. Hodges." Ben laughed aloud. "She's all over me, and it's all I can do to get lose of her."
"So that's what the lipstick was all about. I wondered. Well, son, you gotta know how to handle women." Jason snorted. "I guess I'll have to, then…All you gotta do is say no son."
"You don't understand, she doesn't take no for an answer."
"And her husband, Joe, hasn't a clue, I guess?" Jason asked.
"No, and I'm not gonna be the one to say anything. It's not just me dad, it's any man other than her husband."
"That's a shame, Joe's a nice fella."
As he rode off Ben watched him. He hadn't realized how much his father had aged since his mother died. Ben shook himself, he was paying attention now. Jason Wyler was an important man, and needed on this ranch. He'd have to find a gentle way to keep his father active and keep himself going at the same time.
However, that kiss he'd shared with Gabby sure got him off to a good start this morning. He never realized a kiss could do that.
The one thing that struck him was what Jimmy had said about living in the dirty town and them never going out. For five years, Gabby must have been a prisoner of that place. He was just beginning to see the hardships that she and Jimmy had faced.
Chapter Twelve
At home, Gabby had beaten the rugs and replaced them, the
n hung a load of wash on the line. She picked the garden too. She was in the garden when Ray Grayson came riding into the yard.
She kept on pulling vegetables, thinking he wasn't there to see her.
He came to stand by the fence.
"Nice to see you again, Gabby."
She nodded. "Ben's out in the north meadow, branding."
"I stopped off to say hello to you."
"That's nice. Helena's got coffee on the stove."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Ray asked coming closer.
Dismayed at his arrogance, she continued to pick vegetables from the garden, almost to the point of ignoring him. "No, I'm just busy gathering food for supper." She turned and looked at him.
He was dressed nicely, in slacks and shirt with a tie.
"Don't you work?" She asked.
"Yes, I work for a bank actually."
"Is it closed today?" She mumbled under her breath.
Not at all taken aback, he leaned on the fence negligently. "I came to see if you'd like to go riding with me one day." He asked staring at her. "Today perhaps?"
"Riding?" she resounded. "Mr. Grayson, I'm afraid there's a lot of chores to do around here. I don't have much time for riding." She excused herself. "And if I did it would be with my husband. I barely know you."
"Has Ben even bothered to show you around the property yet?" He inquired.
"No." She shrugged. "We haven't gotten around to that yet, I'm afraid. But since," she rose up and glared at him now. "Your deliberately being nosey, I guess it's up to me to set you straight. No, I do not want to go riding with you, and it is none of your business what Ben and I do."
He raised one arrogant brow. "Your right to the point of things, aren't you. But you don't know how much property belongs to you?"
"And, I don't really care…" She turned to look at him. "What are you trying to say, exactly?"
Love As Big As Texas Page 12
