He squeezed her once when she told him everything, then he pulled her closer and told her about his day. How he enjoyed watching Jimmy among his men and how he was hesitant to brand the calf. He told her about how Jimmy rushed to go with Jason to see the new calves, and how he felt about Jimmy.
They relaxed so much; they were almost asleep, when he started snoring.
She nudged him in the ribs, playfully.
"I don't snore," he protested when she told him it was loud enough to bring the house down.
"You do too." She giggled, but upon sobering, she defended him. "I'm sure you had a busy day…and you are tired."
"A good day." He reflected enjoying her in his arms.
"I should go to bed…" She glanced at him.
"Thanks for sharing it with me…I want you to share every day with me." He suddenly reached and pulled a ringlet around his finger, then looked into her eyes. "Can I get a goodnight kiss?"
"You are a rascal, Ben Wyler…" She threw a pillow at him. "You can have just about anything you want, and you know it."
"Can I?" His eyes sparkled into hers.
Blinking hard, she rose up, leaned to kiss him on the nose and stood up. "Goodnight…"
Ben sat smiling into the fire long after she left him. He really liked his wife.
Chapter Thirteen
A couple of days later Ben caught Jason standing on the sidelines while one of the mustangs was being broken. He went over to lean against the gate of the corral.
"Dad, would you mind if I take Gabby out to look at the spread on Saturday? She has no idea how much property you own. What will one day be hers. I'd like to show her."
"That sounds like a good idea. No, I wouldn't mind at all. Take a picnic basket, enjoy the day. Helena and I will keep an eye on Jimmy." He promised.
"Thanks…I think she might enjoy it."
"I know she would, son." Jason walked off without another word.
So that next Saturday, Helena prepared them a lunch of fried chicken, potato salad and beans. Then Ben invited her on the picnic.
She agreed, wondering what he had up his sleeve.
Gabby wasn't quite prepared for riding double though. There were plenty of horses and a wagon available. But Ben insisted.
"Oh, but couldn't we take the buggy?" She asked.
"We could, but some of the places I want to take you, a buggy would be a little rough."
"Oh, okay, well, maybe I could ride, Sugarfoot, then."
Ben stared at her a moment. "Afraid to ride with me?"
"No…of course not." She tried to explain. "It's just that…nevermind. It doesn't matter."
She didn't understand the reasoning behind one horse, but she stopped objecting.
He let her get on first, and he climbed behind her. Wrapping his arms around her and tying the basket of food onto the saddle horn.
It was intimate from the moment he put his arms around her. He held her close, against him, and put his cheek beside hers. She held her breath at first, being this close, brought a tension she hadn't expected. Was this the reason he insisted on one horse?
"Comfortable?" He asked.
"Y-yes, I'm fine…" She answered, trying to keep herself away from his warm inviting chest.
"Where are we going?" She asked.
"I want to show you…what we own." He explained huskily.
"Oh…that's nice." She smiled and almost turned to look at him, not realizing his cheek was so close, his lips brushed her cheek and her cheeks flamed.
At least she was reacting to him.
As they rode along, he pointed out things of interest. He even gave her a short history of the area and things that had happened on the site.
She paid attention. Yet when they rode up high on a bluff, and looked down, she found it breathtakingly beautiful.
"It's beautiful…" She gasped. "The hills seem to roll along. I never imagine it was this big."
"Yeah, and it's all ours…" he whispered.
"All of this?" She gasped.
"All of it." He answered.
"I had no idea…"
"I kind of realized that, when you were so hesitant about the clothes. So you see, I really can afford them and want you to have them."
"You're very generous."
"Gabby," He stopped and reached to turn her chin so he could look into her eyes. "This land is yours too. You're a Wyler. You belong here."
"Do I?" She looked into his eyes. Filled with a completeness she'd never known, she yielded to his kisses.
Her quick surrender both shocked and pleased him. When he pulled away she was breathless. Unleashed desire had her reaching for his next kiss. She trembled at her own boldness.
When they came up for air, the both pulled away at the same time, mesmerized by the power of their kiss.
"This is your home, Gabby, I'm your husband, and everything I have is yours…" Including my heart, he thought to himself. Dear God, he was in love with her!
It was too soon, his mind argued. Maybe he needed to slow down.
She turned her head and stared out over the countryside. "It's such a beautiful country." She whispered.
"Helena packed us a lunch; want to eat it up here?" He asked.
"Oh yes, that would be lovely." She nodded.
Getting off the horse and away from him, she moved a good distance as he took the basket and a blanket and spread it on the ground close to the bluff so she could look out at the land.
"Your father had land…" He began.
She turned to look at him, "Yes, but not this much…"
"Do you like it here, Gabby?"
"Yes, very much." She answered; helping him spread the food and sitting down beside him. She handed him a napkin and they ate in silence as she continued to look about her.
She looked at him, "It's a lot to take in…"
When he said nothing she studied him for a long moment. "Ben, something has been on my mind a while."
"Alright, let's talk about it."
"When I first came here. I was under the impression you wanted to just ride off. Did you have a place in mind to go? You had jumped up from the table, angry with your father for offering marriage. You went to the barn, where were you going?"
"I don't know. I thought about just riding out and never coming back."
"What stopped you?"
"You for one. You and Jimmy. And…I knew I was kidding myself. This is home to me. I just felt sort of trapped." He barely glanced at her. "And then repulsed at first that my father would even dream of marrying you."
"I can understand that."
"Can you?"
"Of course. That's what I wanted to find out. Do you feel trapped, because of Jimmy and I?" She asked staring at him. "Because, that wasn't my intention."
He looked out over the land, trying to see it from her eyes. Then a smile broke across his face. "I didn't know you, and all of this was thrown at me pretty quick. I did feel trapped at first."
"At least you're honest. I like that about you." She sighed. "I want you to feel as though you can tell me anything. Because the beginnings of trust comes from honesty. And I want to trust you Ben."
He suddenly laid his head in her lap and glanced up at her. "I've got lots of feelings, Gabby."
Shocked that he would do such a thing, she almost giggled. "And now…"
"Your trying your best to find out how I feel about things, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am…it's important. I don't want to remain here if I am making you uncomfortable in your own home. I realize your father pressured you into this. But…I'm not pressuring you. And if you want to get on your horse and just…ride away…I won't say a word." She explained. "Or if you want us to leave…we will."
"Just get on my horse and ride away, huh?" He looked up at her. "And what would you do if I did?" He asked.
"We'd leave…" She exhaled a sigh, and turned away.
"You'd just release me from it all. No questions asked?"
"That's right.
" She nodded, not quite looking at him.
"And if I wanted to stay…what would you do then?"
"Then we'd stay, and help you build your empire. As long as you wanted us."
"And if I wanted you to stay forever, what would you say to that?"
"We'd stay!" She answered swiftly.
"Kiss me…" he raised up.
"What?" She frowned at him.
"Kiss me!"
"Why?" Her breathing became erratic.
"Because that's why I brought you out here. To be alone with you for a while. No prying eyes. No one to interrupt. Kiss me…Gabby!" He murmured and he raised up to hover just over her.
She reached the short distance to touch her lips to his. But the minute her lips met his, he pulled her fully into his arms and held her.
Obviously she hadn't meant to respond quite so wantonly, but the minute their lips met, she felt like a candle, slowly melting into him. The way his lips massaged hers, coaxing her for a response she was incapable of denying him.
It was a wild coming together filled with the kind of things dreams were made of. She had no control, didn't want or need control.
He rolled her over so she was lying on the blanket underneath him. He raised his head to stare into her eyes.
"Isn't this why you agreed to come with me?" He asked with a knowing smile.
"I…I…"
"Just say it. Tell me straight out…"
"Yes…." she gasped, her face going crimson with admissions she hadn't planned on revealing.
"Good. That's a step in the right direction."
"What do you mean?" Gabby looked at him strangely.
"I mean, I brought you out here to make love to you…" He admitted huskily. "Oh…not completely…just a little. I wanted you to see that love isn't lying down for a man. It's enjoying being with him, it's enjoying kissing, and holding hands, and talking, and confiding. Love is so much more than going to bed with someone. And I want you to get used to being made love to…like this."
"But…you don't love me!" She insisted.
"Are you sure about that?" He asked.
"No…but…it's too soon…" She insisted.
"Time has nothing to do with it?" He insisted, raising a brow. "You're right…I don't know it for a fact either. All I know is…when I kiss you…everything changes. When I'm close to you, I'm happy. When we're apart, I'm thinking about you…"
She closed her eyes.
"Are you shutting me out?" He asked as he lightly touched his lips to hers. "Are you afraid of the feelings we stir in each other?"
She opened her eyes, "No…I'm taking in what you said."
"Good, let's ride." He gathered the blanket and the basket and they packed up and got on the horse again.
But, his love-making didn't stop. Instead, his cheek lay solidly against hers, and the movement of the horse and their closeness brought a new awareness that built a fire between them.
"I want to explore our feelings Gabby. I want you to be honest with me always. Sometimes honesty is hard. But that's what I want. I want to know how you feel about things. I want to know the kind of things you like, and dislike. I want to get to know you, everything about you."
Her breath hitched, when he pulled her unresisting body closer, and her head fell back on his shoulder. It felt so good, being so close, she couldn't move away.
"You make me weak, when I'm around you." She whispered. "My knees shake, my stomach does summersaults. I get these feelings."
"That's good, Gabby, that's very good. I want you to be able to tell me anything, and everything…"
"I feel guilty too…"
"For what?" He questioned pulling her closer, wrapping his arms around her solidly.
"For wanting your kisses…" She whispered, as though it were a secret. "For wanting to be alone with you."
He sighed, a contented kind of sign. "Well at least we feel the same way about that…" He kissed her cheek again.
"But aren't these just physical things?" She shrugged.
"Of course they are, but physical goes along with everything else. It's natural, Gabby. Nothing to be ashamed of."
"I didn't feel this way about Frank…I suppose I should have, but I didn't. I see that now." She admitted. "That's why I feel guilty. I must have been a terrible wife."
"As bad as that sounds, I'm glad…" He sighed heavily.
"You are?" She twisted and he kissed her firmly on the lips this time. He covered her breast with his hand and held it there. He felt her reaction and smiled.
She looked down at herself. "I wish I were voluptuous…"
He sighed again, kissing her cheek. "I don't."
"Why not?" She gasped.
"I don't know…I just like you the way you are." He sighed. "We better get back, because much more of this and I'll be spreading that blanket for something entirely different." He kissed her nose and smiled sexily at her.
"Thanks for bringing me out here." She leaned into him purposely, and felt his arousal announce itself against her. She didn't say anything, she just relaxed against him, but as the trip back was slow, so was the fire he was building between them.
A slow burning blush crept over her cheeks, as a small flame burst through her veins. Caught in the whirlwind of a strange a wonderful kind of lovemaking she sighed against him.
Just before they reached the ranch, he stopped.
"Turn around in the saddle," He told her.
She started to object, but the look on his face was serious. She turned and she felt the arousal against her and groaned.
"That's why." He explained. "I want you so bad right now, I'm not sure I can just let you go. But I will. I just want you to know, you are wanted."
She couldn't say anything. She looked into his eyes and saw the desire she felt staring back at her.
"What are you trying to do to me?" She whispered, her head just under his chin, her hands splaying against his shirt.
She could feel his smile against her forehead.
"I don't know what the name for it is, but it's what comes before the real lovemaking Gabby. It's a wanting. This is what making love is all about. It's the feelings that build between a man and a woman, before they make love. Making love has little to do with just laying down, Gabby. It has to do with what's inside your heart." He covered one breast with his and, gently massaged her there. He pulled her chin up and brushed his lips over hers, several times. Until she was reaching to kiss him back.
He smiled again, "You see, that's making love."
"It's a sweet agony," she whispered.
"Kiss me one more time," He coaxed her. She didn't hesitate to gently rub her lips against his.
He pulled her solidly against him and crushed her with another kiss.
Something inside her seemed to explode and she moaned the ecstasy of it. the kiss made her swoon and draw ever closer.
He held her in the circle of his arms for long drugging moments. When they pulled apart they were both breathing heavy.
She opened her eyes to the wonder of the moment, shocked, delighted, happy for the first time in a long time.
"I can't find the right words." She sighed against him cuddling him to her.
"You don't need any. Someday, we'll come together, as man and wife but until we do…enjoy the lovemaking. Because until we do…I'm going to make love to you like this, so you will want me as much as much as I want you."
"Ben…" she sighed.
He smiled and held her close.
She laid her head on his shoulder, they wouldn’t do anything, but feeling the passion that had built between them. "This isn't laying down for someone. This isn't sex. This is love…" He whispered softly in her ear. "We've been making love all day, and yet…someday…I'll finish what we started today. The day you tell me you want me…"
"Oh God…" she cried and hugged him close. "There really is a difference…isn't there?" she barely breathed.
"Yes darlin' there is…" He reassured her as he helped her turn
around and they rode back to the ranch, his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her safe.
When he rode the horse into the barn, he let her slide down. She was flustered, her cheeks flamed, her lips burned from his kisses and the shadow on his cheek. She had so many emotions clamoring inside her. She leaned against the barn door to steady herself.
She looked at him and the heat nearly consumed her. He still wanted her, she could see it in his eyes. Desire. And the wonder of it all, was that she wanted him too.
"I better go in…" She started to go, but turned to look over her shoulder at him. "Thanks…for the ride."
"Gabby, I had intended to take you over to Jim Barnes and let you visit with Betty today, but…I thought this was more important."
"It was…" she smiled shyly at him.
She held his glance for a moment, then smiled.
She was gone.
What the hell am I doing? But then he knew. He was sure of two things, one he wanted his wife, and two he wanted to make love to her all night long. You dope, your in love with her!
Wanting…was the first step to loving. He knew that. He was falling in love with his wife. And it was a pleasure he'd never imagined. He'd have to use the controls because from her kisses and reactions, she couldn't control the situation. Until they could verbally and physically commit to one another, someone had to be in control, and he was elected.
Damnation! Falling in love could be pure torture. But he smiled to himself. The best part was…she was falling in love with him too!
Chapter Fourteen
Pedro was examining Butch the next morning in the barn before they rode out to the meadow where they had been branding for the past few days. The branding was nearly over, and Ben had several of the men castrating, so they could move on to other things.
"Is he gonna be alright?" Jimmy asked coming up beside Pedro and stooping over the dog. He laid his hand on the back of Butch's head and scratched behind his ears. Butch whined a bit as Pedro examined him, then licked Jimmy's hand.
"Si, but I must doctor him. He got something in his paw and now it's infected. So I need medicine to disinfect it. As soon as I get the medicine he will heal. He'll mend." Pedro pet the dog. "Butch has been around a long time. He's a big help to the ranch."
Love As Big As Texas Page 14
