by Sienna Blake
As the closing credits rolled up, I let out a sigh. “Batman is the best superhero.”
“Absolutely,” Diarmuid agreed. He glanced at me. “Why do you like him best?”
Because he reminds me of you.
I let out a shrug. “Batman doesn’t have superpowers, he’s just an ordinary man who sees all the wrong in the world and makes it his business to make things better. He doesn’t just sit back like most people and let it happen.”
Diarmuid cracked a smile. “Yeah, that’s why I like him too. He’s braver than any other superhero because he doesn’t have super strength or a superpower to fall back on.”
I nodded. “It would be easy to be brave if you had Superman’s powers.”
He nodded. “Batman’s a real hero.”
“Like you,” I said quietly.
The smile on his face could have kept me warm for the rest of the Irish winter.
Soon the pizza box was empty before us and we laid back among the cushions. The movie was good. I found myself getting lost in it, almost forgetting all about Ava and the fact that she was Diarmuid’s girlfriend.
I shuffled closer to Diarmuid, testing the boundaries. When he glanced down at me with a smile, I took that as a good sign and leaned my head on his arm. After a beat he pulled his arm out and wound it around my shoulder, tugging me into his side. A warmth glowed through me. It felt so good.
It felt right.
I decided then I didn’t care if he had a girlfriend. Diarmuid belonged to me. And I belonged to him.
You have my skin.
And you have mine.
26
____________
Diarmuid
Now—Limerick, Ireland
Twenty-three minutes past five next Friday afternoon and Saoirse wasn’t here at O’Malley’s gym like she should have been.
I gritted my teeth. My insides had been bouncing around like a can full of worms all week. I’d been dreading this session with her.
And looking forward to it at the same time.
Go fucking figure.
I grabbed my phone from my bag just as it started ringing. I answered without looking at the screen. “Where are ye?”
“Diarmuid?”
Fuck.
It wasn’t Saoirse’s voice. It was Ava’s.
I rubbed my fingers across my closed lids. I’d managed to avoid Ava’s calls until now. “Oh, hey.”
“I’ve been trying to reach you.” I hated when she got her whingy voice on and boy, was it on in layers today.
“Yeah, I know. Sorry.” Fuck, Brennan, get off the phone. “I’ve been busy. With work.”
She snorted. “You’re always busy, Diarmuid. But it’s about making time for the things that are important. We need to talk.”
Fuck, no.
“About what?” I said, stalling.
“That’s what I want to talk to you about. I thought we could get together sometime this weekend. Have dinner, maybe.”
“I don’t know, Ava.” I silently slapped my forehead. Why couldn’t I just tell her to fuck off like I should. I was perfectly capable of telling everyone else who pissed me off to fuck off.
“Like it or not, Diarmuid, I am still your wife. You owe me this.”
I looked up in that moment. Perhaps I had been drawn to look up because I heard a noise. Or perhaps I just sensed her.
Saoirse was standing in the doorway of the gym in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, fresh-faced, her long blonde locks pulled into a high ponytail. My heart tugged. Would I ever get used to seeing her all grown up? She looked effortlessly sexy even in baggy clothes.
Shit. Not sexy. Not sexy. I could not be calling my seventeen-year-old juvenile assignment sexy, for fuck’s sake.
“Diarmuid? Are you even listening to me?”
Shit on a stick. Ava was still on the line.
“Sorry. The person I’ve been waiting for just arrived. I’ll call you later.” I hung up and turned off my phone before Ava could yell at me.
Saoirse walked towards me like a panther, watching me. I felt an unreasonable flush on my neck, as if I’d been caught doing something wrong.
She strode right up to me until we were toe to toe, her rose perfume curling around me in wisps. The scent sent a stab through my gut. My mother used to wear rose perfume. Saoirse used to favor vanilla scents when she’d been younger.
Saoirse had changed. Matured.
“You didn’t have to hang up on Ava,” Saoirse said. “She is your wife.”
I took a step back, trying to get some space. My mind seemed to go fuzzy at her proximity.
“You’re late,” I said, trying to avoid the subject of Ava.
She tilted her head, her hands fisted on her hips, an aggressive stance if I ever saw one. “And you’re married. So what?”
I almost let out a groan of frustration. This session was not going how I planned it to go. I wanted to drop my face into my hands. But I would not. I’d had difficult assignments before. Saoirse was just another difficult case.
Except…she wasn’t, was she?
“How ’bout we just get started,” I said, wanting desperately to stop talking and start doing. “I wanted to go through some fighting basics.”
She smirked at me. “You wanna fight me, Diarmuid?”
“I want to teach you how to defend yourself.”
Her voice lowered. “I could have used that three years ago. To defend myself from you.”
Through the cracks of her snippy façade was a deep well of pain. It shone as clear as a full moon on a lake.
I had done that to her. Even in trying to do what was right for her, I had failed her.
“Saoirse,” I breathed. “Please…”
“Whatever.” She walked past me, flicked her ponytail over her shoulder, her smell hitting me right in the chest.
I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to whatever deity was listening to give me strength.
“I’ll just get into my workout gear,” I heard from behind me.
I frowned. Her workout gear? Wasn’t she wearing that?
I spun round just in time to watch her pushing down the tracksuit bottoms to her ankles as she stood at one of the benches that lined the wall, her back to me, legs straight, round ass in the air, covered only by a pair of tiny running shorts.
I choked.
Holy shit.
Something tugged in me, something unfamiliar. Something hot and foreign like a blade. Lust. Want. Desire.
Oh fuck.
She straightened and grabbed the hem of her hoodie and pulled it up over her head, revealing her slender waist, those curves, in a tiny fitted workout singlet. She dropped her hoodie on the bench and spun to look straight at me.
I was too shocked to hide my emotions. She caught me, my raw, openly lusty stare.
I was going to burn in hell.
I slammed down my mask as quickly as I could. What the fuck, Diarmuid?
Thank God we were the only ones in the gym and I had no witnesses to my blatant drooling. That’s why I picked Friday afternoon to work out with her. I knew no one would bother us. She and I were alone.
Oh shit.
She and I were alone.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
27
____________
Saoirse
The way he was looking at me…
Like I was a woman, not a girl.
Like I was the most gorgeous creature he’d ever seen.
Like I was dessert and he was starving.
I’d waited years to have him look at me that way. Dreamed about it. Yearned for it.
His stare hit me right in my lower belly, tumbling and twisting into hot knots.
Damn him.
I was just getting over him. I was just learning not to care.
Yeah, right.
I shoved these feelings aside, locking my arms across my chest as if they were armour and could protect me.
Nothing had ever been able to protect me fr
om him.
“Lead the way, oh venerable master,” I said. Yes, sarcasm would totally work as a defense.
Diarmuid cleared his throat and indicated for me to come with him.
I followed him as he strode towards the other side of the gym. My eyes couldn’t help wandering over his hard, fit body, dressed simply in a pair of light grey sweatpants and a tight black sleeveless shirt. His shoulder-length hair was tied back into a small bun at the nape of his thick neck. His muscular arms and rounded shoulders were on display, colourful ink across smooth skin like a piece of art.
He was a piece of art. This sight should be fucking illegal.
He stopped in front of a battered, faded red bag hanging from one of the beams. I stopped beside him.
“I’m, er, going to show you the basics today.” He sounded nervous. Unsure of himself, even. Why would he be nervous? He wouldn’t even meet my eyes. “Neutral stance should be feet hip-width apart, your left foot forward because you’re right-handed.”
I stood how he instructed. My body heating as he gazed over my exposed legs. Why the hell did I think wearing running shorts was a good idea?
“That’s good. Now make a fist.”
“Are you going to let me hit you?”
His eyes snapped to mine, a twitch pulling at his top lip. “Just do it.”
I held up my right hand in front of my face, gave him the finger, then made a fist.
He let out a snort. “Tuck your thumb in.”
I frowned at my hand. Then pushed my thumb, which was sticking out, under my fingers.
“Not like that… Here.”
He grabbed my hand in both of his. His hands were huge, dwarfing mine, rough and warm and calloused, just like I remembered. He gently pulled out my thumb and tucked it under so it was out of the way, totally unaware of how wobbly my knees had just gotten. Or how my heartbeat had quickened.
“Like this. Or you’ll break your thumb when you hit something.” His glanced up and his eyes locked with mine. His thumb brushing lightly across the back of my hand.
Damn him.
I yanked my hand out of his. I wanted to rub it against my clothing to get rid of the residue feeling ghosting the back of my hand.
He turned and faced the bag as if nothing had happened.
“You want to extend your right hand forward, leading with your hips as you go. Start slow.” He moved as he spoke, extending his arm, his muscles shifting underneath his smooth inked skin, his slim hips turning. He returned back to his neutral stance. “We want you to get your technique right before you start adding speed.”
He punched again, this time striking out so hard and fast that his arm was a blur, the bag smacking back as his fist impacted it. The bag never had a chance.
Holy shit.
He was fast. And strong as fuck. I snapped my mouth closed as he grabbed the bag to steady it, then turned towards me.
“Your turn.”
I let out a scoffing noise. “Watch and learn, Brennan.”
I had no idea what I was doing. But it was better than him realising just how impressed I was. I stepped up to the bag, wearing my false bravado around me like an oversized coat, and gave it what I thought was a decent punch.
My fist tapped the bag and it hardly moved. I made a face.
Diarmuid’s face hadn’t changed. “Try again.”
I glared at the bag, pretending it was Diarmuid’s balls. I lashed out.
Diarmuid let out a small sigh. “You have to lead with your hips, selkie.”
“Don’t call me that.” I hit again.
“Lead with your hips.”
I smashed the bag with my fist, frustration pouring out of my hand. “You keep fucking saying that but I have no idea what you mean by it.”
“Here.” He moved around me, coming to stand right behind me, the warmth of him soaking into my back. His right hand grabbed my right wrist and his left hand closed over my hip.
Oh, God.
I froze. “What are you doing?” I asked, my voice a mere squeak.
My body was betraying me. I wanted to lean back into him. To roll my ass against his hard body.
“Just relax.”
Relax? Relax? How the fuck was I supposed to relax when he was crowding me like this.
“Release your arm from your shoulder,” his voice rumbled into my ear as he extended our arms out. “And lead from your hips.”
At the same time his hand pulled at my left hip, twisting us, his warmth flooding into my body.
I might have whimpered. I’m not sure.
I realised we were just standing there, his arms round me, my fist against the bag. I swear I heard him inhale against my hair.
Shit. Fuck. I shoved his hands off me. It pained me to have his hands on me. It pained me to be without them.
I stumbled away from him. “Why are we doing this, anyway?”
“Self-defense. You need to know what to do just in case you ever need to defend yourself.”
I bristled. “You’re the only one I’ve ever had to defend myself from.”
His face crumpled. “That is not true.”
I knew we were both thinking of the last time we’d seen each other three years ago, of the reason he left me.
I shook my head, my insides warring. I wanted to hate him for leaving all those years ago. I did hate him.
And yet, I wanted nothing more than to fling myself into his arms and sob with relief that we’d found our way back to each other. I wanted to give him every hurt and fear I’d saved so he could fold them away, the way only he could. I wanted to make him laugh and laugh to make up for all the happiness we’d missed. The thought of letting him back in made the armour around my heart harden. It made the girl inside of me recoil and hiss with fear. Which led me back to anger.
My emotions tumbled so hard inside me I almost felt dizzy.
There was so much I wanted to let out.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t let him hurt me again.
I wouldn’t.
“Time’s up,” I said.
He opened his mouth as if to speak. I didn’t want to hear it. I was running out of energy to keep him at a safe distance. If I let him back in, it’d be the end of me.
I strode past him to the bench where I’d left my bag, giving him no chance to continue the conversation.
I pulled my sweats and hoodie back on. I almost jumped when I heard Diarmuid’s voice behind me.
“I’ll wait with you outside.”
Either he had the lightest footsteps in all of history or I was too worked up to be paying much attention to my surroundings.
“I don’t need you to wait with me. I’m not a child anymore.” I slung my duffle bag over one shoulder and strode towards the exit.
Damn him. He kept up with me easily, his long legs cutting across the polished wooden floors.
He raced ahead so he could open the door for me. I scowled as I stormed past, refusing to say thanks, then feeling like a bitch. I didn’t want him to be sweet to me. I wanted to hate him. It was easier to hate him.
Then he was beside me as I stopped on the sidewalk, watching me with concern on his face.
Screw him and his concern. Where was his concern for the last three years?
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Leave me alone.”
He frowned, his stance widening as if to make a point that he was not leaving my side.
“Saoirse, this is an industrial neighbourhood and it’s dusk. I wouldn’t let anyone wait out here by themselves.”
“Whatever.” I made a point to roll my eyes, trying to tamp down the little voice inside me that whispered that he still cared about me.
He stood too close to me. Too damn close, it made my hairs stand on end as if he were magnetized and I was metal.
I sidestepped away from him. Not discreetly enough, because I caught the side glance he gave me and the press of his lips.
The air was crisp and the sun was streaking like blood across t
he underside of clouds in the darkening sky. As much as I hated to admit it, Diarmuid was right. There was no one around at this time of the evening. The warehouse next door that had been open when I had arrived was now shut up.
We stood in silence for what felt like hours, the sky darkening, the temperature dropping, making me shove my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie.
I had to fight the urge to glance over. As my anger subsided, I was left with burning curiosity. What had he done in the last three years? Did he have a boy or a girl? Was he happy with his new family? Did he ever wish he was with me instead?
Diarmuid glanced at his watch, my eyes latching onto that movement. He pressed his full lips together.
“My da is coming to pick me up,” I said in defense of an accusation unspoken.
He said nothing. His eyes scanned the empty road as if to say, oh yeah? Where is he, then?
I couldn’t even hear any oncoming cars.
I worried my lip. Then looked at my own watch.
“He should be here…” I trailed off. My da was almost fifteen minutes late.
“Let me drive ye home.”
“He wouldn’t forget,” I snapped. I took out my phone and dialed my da’s number. He answered after five rings. “Da, yeah. Where are you?”
“Out at the farm, pet.”
“Oh…were you going to pick me up?”
“Oh shite, sorry, I got caught up with work, you know how it goes. I can be there in an hour.”
My face fell. I caught Diarmuid’s eye, concern clear on his face. I frowned and turned away, walking a few steps away from him.
“…Oh. Right. No bother, then. I can find my own way home. K…bye.” I tucked my phone in my pocket and let out a long huff. I’d have to call a cab or something.
“Let me drive you home.” Diarmuid’s voice came from behind.
“I’ll just catch a—”
“Saoirse.” I felt his firm hand on my shoulder. He turned me to face him. “I’m driving you home.”
I felt his hand all throughout my body.
He grabbed the rest of his things from inside the building and he closed up. I followed him wordlessly, watching his strong hands deftly move across the equipment as he put it away. He was as sure of his movements as always.
