A Moment of Weakness: Book 2 in the Forever Faithful trilogy

by Kingsbury, Karen

  The next day she checked out of the motel, drove to Portland, and got the directions she needed. At five o’clock she stood on the porch of a man she had never intended to track down.

  “Well, well, well …” Jim Rudolph allowed his eyes to wander lazily over the length of Jade. “What a pleasant surprise. I always knew you’d come to your senses one day.” He leaned against the doorframe. “Tell me … have you changed your mind about my offer?”

  Jade wanted to turn and run back to her car. There’s no choice now. Think of the baby. The voice didn’t seem like God’s, but it was the only one she could hear. She closed her eyes briefly. “Yes. May I come in?”

  Jim opened the door wider, and without hesitation Jade walked inside. She would do anything for the child she carried. Even this. It didn’t matter. What she was about to do would never involve her heart. She would be kind, dutiful, pleasant. Grateful she had someplace to turn.

  In exchange, Jade knew Jim would provide for her, shower her with attention, and treat her well. He would give her child a home and a name. Yes, Jim lacked the depth of character to ever love her the way Tanner had seemed to love her. No, she would never love this man. But she would be indebted to him forever.

  That Saturday the two of them stood before a justice of the peace. And in ten minutes, Jade Conner became Jade Rudolph.

  Eighteen

  THE VIRGINIA SKY STRETCHED LIKE BLUE CANVAS OVER THE Richmond Airport as Doris Eastman waited for her son to return from Hungary. She had missed Tanner. He was such a good, idealistic, young man, just what the country needed, perfect for public office. The way Doris saw it, she was willing to forgive him and move forward. Tanner had sowed his wild oats—first with the Conner girl and then with this trip to Hungary. There was still time between now and graduation to line up a political job. Still time for Tanner to come to his senses.

  His connecting flight from New York was scheduled to arrive in five minutes, and Doris had to admit she was nervous. The issue with Jade would have to be handled delicately; Tanner must never know that his mother lied to protect him. Even so, Doris was worried about how Tanner would react when he heard the news about Jade.

  Thoughts of the girl and her sudden wedding brought a smile to Doris’s face. When she’d first learned about it, she’d been unable to contain her elation. At least she didn’t have to lie to Tanner. Jade had taken care of the problem herself.

  To think she had almost avoided making the phone call.

  It had been two weeks after Jade’s visit, and Doris was bothered by the girl’s anger. What if she tried to find out the truth about Tanner’s background? Doris was plagued by such questions. She knew she’d done a brilliant job of lying that day; Tanner’s older brother’s children looked just like their uncle. Jade had believed every word.

  Still, Doris had been uneasy and so she called.

  An airplane taxied slowly up to the gate, and Doris breathed a sigh of relief. She hated Tanner being in the air. Too uncertain. Too many risks. Now he was here and he was safe—safer than he knew now that Jade was out of his life.

  She remembered the phone call like it was yesterday.

  A man Doris assumed was Jade’s father answered and spoke in short, gruff sentences.

  “What do you want?”

  Doris had been taken aback. “Well … I need to speak to Jade, please.”

  “Jade don’t live here no more.”

  A flicker of concern had rattled through Doris’s bones. “Is that right? Well, would you have a forwarding number for her?”

  “I ain’t plannin’ on keeping in touch with her.”

  Doris struggled to think of the right questions. “All right, then. Could you tell me where she moved? Maybe I can look her up myself.”

  “Listen, I don’t know who you are, lady, but I’ll tell you why Jade left. She got herself pregnant, and now she’s run off and got herself married. They live in Portland somewhere, I think.”

  Doris had been stunned by the man’s revelation. Jade … married? With Tanner in Hungary? Then there had been someone else the whole time. Instantly, Doris regretted giving the girl the money. The brat probably wasn’t even Tanner’s. “Did you say she was married?”

  “What’sa matter, lady? Ya deaf?” Rude, belligerent clod. Doris felt tarnished for even speaking with him.

  “I’m surprised, that’s all. I thought … I didn’t know Jade had planned to marry.”

  “Listen, lady, she’s married, okay? She’s knocked up and she’s married. Married a guy named Rudolph. Jim Rudolph, okay? Listen, who are you, anyway?”

  Jim Rudoloph. Doris had never heard the name before. “Uh … never mind. I’ll try to contact her another way.”

  The man had hung up on her, and in disbelief Doris marveled at her good fortune. She had planned to tell Tanner a lie. Something about how Jade had never really loved him and how she’d disappeared without a trace while he was gone.

  Doris hadn’t perfected the story and was working frantically on making it sound truthful until she’d placed the call to Jade’s home. After the conversation with the girl’s father, Doris’s problems felt as if they’d disappeared completely.

  In the weeks that followed, Doris moved back to Virginia, set up house in a retirement condominium in Williamsburg, and made time for old friends. She was no longer worried about what she’d tell Tanner when he got home. The story was simple. Jade had gotten pregnant and married a man while Tanner was off witnessing to the Hungarian people about God’s love. There was nothing more to say. Once Tanner was able to grasp the truth about the girl he assumed he loved, he would disregard her as a bad seed and be thankful he hadn’t wasted more time on her.

  She stood and stretched and watched the stream of people until she spotted Tanner.

  God, help me sound believable.

  It had been a while since she’d prayed, and the silent words felt strange in her heart—stranger still when they were not followed by any measure of peace or assurance. It didn’t matter. She had the perfect story and was certain Tanner would believe it. If God didn’t want to help her, so be it. She was only acting in her son’s best interests.

  Tanner made his way slowly off the plane, searching for Jade, hoping that she’d gotten his letter and the money he’d sent for a plane ticket. He shook his head. What was he worrying about? Of course she’d be there to meet him. He had so much to tell her, so many stories to share.

  He scanned the faces of those waiting for passengers and saw his mother’s among them. He waved and continued searching until finally he was at his mother’s side.

  “Hey, Mom, have you seen Jade?”

  His mother put her hands on her hips and cocked her head, smiling slightly. “You’re gone to Hungary for two months, and the first thing you say to your mother is, ‘Hey, Mom, have you seen Jade?’ ” She leaned up, pecking him on the cheek and hugging him.

  “I’m sorry.…” Where was she? Why wasn’t she here?

  His mother searched his eyes and looked him over the way she’d done after football games back when he was a teenager. “So, son, you look like you survived. Did you figure out how to save the world?”

  Tanner’s eyes roved the perimeter of the airport. She should be here by now. Could something have happened to her? A plane delay or something. Ignoring his mother’s question, he met her gaze straight on. “I’ll tell you about the trip later. But I’m serious about Jade. Have you seen her?”

  Tanner watched and thought his mother was acting strangely uncomfortable. She cleared her throat as if she didn’t want to speak her next words. “I don’t think Jade’s coming to Virginia, son.”

  Tanner felt his insides unwind, and he was flooded with disappointed. He sighed. “I asked her to come.”

  His mother raised an eyebrow. “You … you talked to Jade?”

  What was that in his mother’s eyes? If Tanner hadn’t known better, he’d think it was fear, but that was impossible. His mother had never been afraid of anything. “Of
course not. I couldn’t make calls from Hungary, Mother. You know that.”

  Doris uttered what sounded like a forced laugh. “I know, dear. It’s just that you said you told her …”

  “I wrote to her. Many times. And I figured based on my last letter that she’d be here.”

  His mother sighed and stared sadly at her hands. It was a dramatic pose, one she often assumed when she was about to be the bearer of bad news. Seeing his mother that way sent a shiver of terror down Tanner’s spine. “What is it, Mother?” He knew he sounded impatient and he felt bad. He’d only been off the plane a few minutes, and already his mother had him on edge.

  Doris linked elbows with him and gently led him toward the baggage pickup area. “Son, I’m afraid we have a lot to talk about.” She hesitated and Tanner saw contempt in her eyes. “Jade wasn’t the person you thought she was.”

  Tanner stopped in his tracks, forcing his mother to stop as well. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Doris looked uncomfortably at the passersby, some of whom were forced to walk around them. “This isn’t the time, dear. I’ll tell you everything when we get home. Besides, I have a nice lasagn—”

  “I want to know now, Mother.” A building panic was causing his head to swim. What does she mean Jade isn’t the person I thought? And where is she, anyway? Why isn’t she here so she can help me make sense of this craziness? He ushered his mother to the nearest seating area and directed her to a seat. He took one next to her and stared at her. “Talk to me, Mother.”

  She licked her lips nervously, and the sense of panic began to spread to the pit of his stomach. “I said, talk to me, Mother. What’s going on?”

  “You’re yelling.” His mother clasped her fingers together tightly and did her best to look proper.

  Tanner lowered his voice, but the anger remained. “I’m waiting. Now, tell me.”

  “I really don’t think this is the place to have such conversations, son.”

  “Mother—”

  “All right, all right.” She put a hand on Tanner’s knee and tilted her nose a degree higher. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this. Especially now … here.” She looked around as though she were afraid someone might be listening. “Jade got married while you were gone.”

  For the briefest moment, he wanted to slap his mother for saying something so cruel. Jade? His Jade? Of course she hadn’t gotten married. Whatever his mother had heard was a big mistake. “Mother, are you trying to say Jade Conner married someone else while I was in Hungary?”

  Doris nodded, her chin tilted, nose higher still. “She was a two-timer. A loose girl, Tanner. She was only after your name … our money.”

  A hundred voices were shouting in Tanner’s head. It was impossible. Jade loved him fully. She had never loved anyone, never kissed anyone before him. His mother must be losing her mind. “Listen, I don’t know where you heard this, Mother, but you’re wrong. Jade’s going to marry me.”

  His mother’s face grew several shades paler. “Well … I had no idea, Tanner.…”

  “We were going to tell you together. This week, now that I’m home. I haven’t even bought her a ring yet.”

  Gradually his mother’s color returned. “Well … it seems it’s best you saved your money.” She looked sadly into his eyes. “It’s true, Tanner. She married someone else.”

  Tanner’s heart was racing, and he tried to think of a way he could stop this nonsense. He stood, pulled out his billfold, and began searching for his phone card.

  “What are you doing? Sit down and let me finish.” His mother remained seated, her voice ripe with chastisement.

  “I’m going to call her. Right now. Before you say another word.” He took his mother gently by the shoulders. “Jade Conner is in love with me. There’s no way in the world she would have married someone else.”

  At his insistence, his mother stood with an exaggerated sigh. “Very well. Where’s the telephone?”

  “What are you doing?” Tanner felt another wave of fear. If his mother was willing to let him make a phone call.

  “I’m coming, too. I want to be there when you see for yourself. Everything I’ve told you is true, Tanner.”

  A volcano of anger erupted in Tanner’s heart, and he silently fumed. He would not let his mother get the better of him. She was mistaken somehow, and he would prove it. He turned without saying another word and made his way to a row of pay telephones. Swiping his card through, he did what he’d longed to do for two months.

  He dialed Jade’s number.

  His mother stood beside him, watching him, studying him confidently, making him feel five years old again. The phone rang three times, and Tanner glanced at his watch. It was Saturday, ten o’clock in the morning in Kelso. Someone should be home.

  The phone rang three more times, and finally Tanner hung up. “No one’s home.” He did not look at his mother, didn’t want to see her smug expression, the surety in her eyes. She would owe him an apology when he got to the truth of the matter. He stared at the phone and racked his brain, thinking who would know where he could find Jade.

  The hospital. Of course. He dialed information and got the number for Kelso General.

  His mother tapped her foot impatiently. “Now who’re you calling?”

  Tanner glared at her but didn’t answer. The phone was ringing at the hospital.

  “Kelso General, how may I direct your call?”

  “Children’s unit, please.” Tanner’s heart was racing faster now. Come on, please. Someone pick up.

  “Children’s unit.”

  “Yes, I’m … may I speak to Jade Conner, please.”

  The woman hesitated. “She doesn’t work here anymore.”

  Tanner’s panic increased and he struggled to speak. “Do … you know where I can reach her?”

  “Who is this, please?”

  Tanner gulped. What is this? Why is everyone acting so strange? “I’m a friend.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m sorry I can’t help you. Jade got married about a month ago. We haven’t heard from her since then.”

  The air around him turned to quicksand, and Tanner felt himself being sucked into a cavernous abyss. My God, why? What’s happened? I loved her, Lord. I thought she wanted to marry me.

  He felt as though his heart might explode. He heard himself thank the girl and watched his hand slowly hang up the phone. His mother’s expression was the picture of arrogance and pity, and Tanner walked past her to the nearest chair. There he sat down, dropped his belongings, planted his elbows on his knees, and hung his head in his hands.

  “I’m sorry, Tanner. I tried to tell you.… Her father doesn’t know where she’s living now. No one does.”

  Tanner wasn’t ready to talk, didn’t want to look at his mother. How had this happened? What had Jade been thinking? As one minute and then two passed, tears filled Tanner’s eyes and began dropping to the floor.

  Why would she marry someone else? Who would she marry? Tanner felt as if he’d been run over by a 747, and though the tears came more quickly, he had only one answer: His mother was wrong. Jade was not a two-timer; she had not been seeing someone else while they were together that past summer. And she definitely was not after his name or their family money.

  Somehow, something had gone terribly wrong, and she had married someone else. Tanner would have to find a way to accept the truth. But he had not been wrong about who Jade was. He knew that much.

  His mother’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Come on, son. We need to get home.” Doris patted his knee, and Tanner knew she was unaware of his tears. She had never seen him cry and wouldn’t think it a sign of strength. But he didn’t care. Jade had taught him to be his own person, and now she was gone.

  He stood like a man who had aged forty years in a single instant, and he realized a part of him had died with the news about Jade. So, Lord, this is what it feels like to have a broken heart. A broken life.

  As he and his mother left the airport, he remembe
red something he’d said as a young boy the first time Jade had disappeared from his life. The words were as true now as they had been back then. He and Jade would be together again one day—even if for only a moment so she could explain what had happened. He would find her. Even if he had to search the world over.

  With that thought firmly in place, he collected his things and took the first step toward a future that was suddenly darker than the winter skies in Kelso.

  PART II

  “You will seek me and find me when you

  seek me with all your heart.

  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD,

  “and will bring you back from captivity.”

  JEREMIAH 29:13–14A

  Nineteen

  Eleven years later

  THE RAIN HAD BEEN RELENTLESS, AND WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9 was no different from a dozen previous Wednesdays. At nine that morning, the women from the Bible study group shed raincoats, umbrellas, and muddy shoes at the door and filed into Jade Rudolph’s living room, where the atmosphere was considerably warmer and brighter. Coffee and fresh-baked brownies filled the table, and a glowing fire crackled in the brick fireplace.

  The women took their seats, and Jade poured coffee as several moms set their toddlers in the next room with a variety of toys. Jade loved the sounds of the little ones. It made her remember when Ty was a baby.

  The Bible study, made up entirely of mothers, had been meeting at Jade’s house for the past year, and she’d gotten close to many of the women. They had students of all ages who attended Portland public schools—specifically three schools on the city’s northeastern boundary: Shamrock Elementary, Woodbridge Junior High, and Riverview High School.

  They met each week and discussed education-related issues, keeping each other apprised about problems that might affect their children. For the most part, they spent the hour in prayer. Deep, heartfelt, fervent prayer. Public schools had taken a violent beating over the past few years. If there was one thing their children needed, it was prayer.