by Amity Cross
I was terribly afraid that I would be leaving at the end of the week or that Tessa would shit all over my life, and I’d never be able to get another screenwriting gig. I didn’t realize until this moment how much this opportunity meant to me…and how much I liked doing it.
Jude, Candy, Maisy, and the crew were all icing on top of a pretty spectacular cake, even if one of those people gave me heartburn on a daily basis.
Running my hand along Jude’s arm, I gently nudged it off me but not before lingering. Touching wasn’t something we usually did. Not in the intimate sense, just the everyday kind. A hug, a gentle nudge, a brush… Touching was too tempting.
He stirred as his arm slipped onto the mattress, and I paused, almost expecting him to wake, but he just nestled deeper into the pillow. Sliding off the bed, I put my shoes on, avoiding the mess of papers on the floor, and grabbed my bag.
Casting one last look at my crush, I tiptoed out of the bedroom and slunk down the hall, making a quick getaway. If he woke up with me like that… It was a bridge too far.
Riding the elevator down to the ground floor, I was confused at the fact that such a small space felt so…ginormous. It was like a black hole had opened up and created a vacuum of space and time that stretched further than any human pea brain could comprehend. What was it about three-by-four metal death boxes?
Outside on the street, I began making my way back to my apartment feeling like I was doing the walk of shame. I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, my makeup was smeared, and my hair was probably all messed up. I ran my fingers through it hastily, thanking everything that was good in the world that it was still early, and the street was still pretty much empty.
With each step, I felt my anxiety growing. Should I go back? No, I couldn’t. The door was locked, and there was no way back in. Even if I could go back, should I? Did I have it in me to be the person who stole another woman’s man?
No, no I didn’t. I didn’t even have enough confidence to admit out loud that I was attracted to Jude. I went over and over it in my mind, but I hadn’t once said it. Not even to myself in the comfort of my own home.
My phone began to ring in my bag, and my heart sped up. Fumbling for it, I thought it was Jude calling to see where I’d gone, and I tried to think up some lame excuse to feed him, but when I pulled it out, it wasn’t him at all. The number on the screen said it was someone from Starscape HQ. I didn’t know which one was worse, but I answered the call because neither scenario was going away anytime soon.
“Hello?” I asked tentatively.
“Lux, it’s Sharon.”
My heart pretty much exploded, and I could see the ashes from my short-lived career in television begin to flutter down in the aftermath of the explosion that signaled my demise.
“Hi,” I replied, trying to sound chirpy. A walk of shame and a looming reprimand. Bad things always happened in threes, and considering my rap sheet with the universe, I wondered what else would happen today to round out the trifecta.
“Are you free this morning?” she asked. “I’d like to have a little catch up with you if you’re available.”
“Sure.” I swallowed hard and wrapped my free arm around my stomach. “I can come by in an hour.”
“Fabulous,” she replied, and I had an awful vision of her sitting behind her desk, sharpening her executioner’s axe. “I’ll see you soon, darling.”
Letting the call disconnect, I stared at my shaking hands, my skin feeling clammy. What was worse? Waiting for the inevitable or the moment it hit?
I guess it didn’t matter. It all hurt just the same.
* * *
The last person I expected to see at the office was Jude. Especially not after I’d left him asleep in his bed about an hour or so before.
He was leaning against the desk at reception, and his head turned away from the pretty girl he’d been talking to as the elevator doors slid open. The moment I stepped out, he was on point like he’d been staking out the place waiting for my arrival.
Straightening up, he ignored the receptionist who was fluttering her eyelashes at him and came to stand beside me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, knowing that there was no real reason for him to be in the office unless there was a table read…and there wasn’t one of those for another two days. My skin began to crawl at the thought that he’d possibly been called in for a character reference for the jury I was about to face.
“Your phone was switched off.”
I shrugged and walked through reception and into the hallway beyond, Jude on my heels. I’d turned it off to avoid him, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Where did you disappear to?” he asked, looking forlorn.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that,” I said quickly, trying to appease him. “It was early, and I didn’t wanna wake you up…”
“I wouldn’t have minded,” he said. “We could’ve gone to grab breakfast or something.”
“Oh…” I could’ve kicked myself right then, but remembering the position I woke up in, maybe it was a good thing.
He leaned against the wall, a little too close for comfort.
“I have a meeting,” I murmured, staring at him.
“What are you doing after this?” he asked, just not letting me go. “I’ve gotta go to the set soon, but we could grab a coffee or something?”
“I—” I bit my bottom lip, which only caused his gaze to drop.
His eyes narrowed, and he pulled in a sharp breath. “Did I do something?”
“No,” I said a little too quickly. “It’s just…” I shrugged.
I wanted to reach out, thread my fingers through his hair, and pull him against me. I wanted to feel his mouth on mine…but… There was always a but.
His shoulders tensed, and he leaned closer. “Just what?” He reached out and curled a strand of my hair around his finger.
So this was the third bad thing. Walking away for the trifecta.
“Can we not do this right now?” I asked.
Dropping his hand away, he lifted his gaze to mine and held.
“Lux?”
At the sound of Sharon’s voice, I broke away from Jude, my heart hammering.
“I’ll see you later,” I said to him, not knowing if there would actually be a later.
He just frowned but didn’t try to stop me. Turning away, I went to face the music.
Episode Seventeen
You Can Roll A Turd In Glitter…
Closing the door to Sharon’s office behind me, I turned to face the music.
She looked as immaculate as always with her sleek blonde hair and clothes that looked like she’d bought them straight off the rack at New York Fashion Week, but it was her expression that had me shitting bricks.
I’d never seen her look so serious, and I felt panic begin to rise along with a slew of tears that I could barely contain. I hated confrontation to the point where I fell apart at the slightest hint of pressure. Right now, I was on the cusp of bursting.
Sitting opposite, I folded my hands into my lap, all the warm and fuzzy feelings I’d had the night before at Jude’s evaporating into thin air.
“So, we’re at the six month mark,” she said, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the desk. “How are things going?”
“I like working with Maisy and the other writers,” I said truthfully. “I’ve learned a great deal. The ratings have been good, right?”
“Yes, ratings have been better than ever…” She trailed off, and I frowned.
“But?” I asked, my bottom lip beginning to quiver of its own accord.
“I’ve been made aware of the fact that there has been some friction between you and Tessa.”
“I don’t seem to be her favorite person,” I said carefully.
“She’s not as popular as she used to be,” she said, and I sat up straighter. “And she can be a little…touchy. However, if she speaks, we need to listen.”
Did she just inadvertently c
onfirm everything that I suspected? That Tessa’s star was fading?
“I know she’s not the easiest to work with,” Sharon said quickly like she was covering up a slip of the tongue. “But she’s on a contract, and with actresses, we can’t just put them on the back bench. Especially not when they have a huge role in the show.”
“I understand,” I replied, not knowing where this conversation was going anymore. I’d expected to be sent home already. They had the rights to my work and didn’t need me here to adapt it, so I was the expendable one.
“Tessa has voiced some concern,” she explained.
Tessa Donahue had told on me. I knew it was coming after what I’d said to her, and I knew I’d be sitting in this exact spot, but actually living through it was a new kind of humiliation.
“I’m sure she has,” I said, my lips curling in distaste.
“I know Tessa pretty well,” Sharon went on. “Well enough to know that she never tells the entire truth. I like you, Lux, but you’re new, and you’re green when it comes to this industry.”
“What’s that got to do with how I’ve been performing in my job? I’ve been getting good feedback from the others and I’m getting better every week… If going to the set is a problem, then I’ve already decided to never go back there, so that can be taken off the table.”
“Lux, we’re very pleased with your performance,” she said, shaking her head. “We have to take any concerns from our talent seriously. That’s all.”
I narrowed my eyes, knowing the answer to my next question was going to sting. “And what are those concerns?”
“She’s made allegations that you’re trying to get her cut from Naturals. That you’ve been fraternizing with cast and crew.”
She’s gone to the producers and told them I was a slut? It was so far from the truth that I began to laugh. Nothing was sacred to Tessa Donahue.
“Lux—”
“Justin Mayweather came onto me,” I spat. “I put him back into his place. I don’t sleep around to get ahead. I’m here because of my writing.”
“We approached you for the position at Jude’s insistence,” Sharon said, her gaze giving away nothing.
The color drained from my face, and I debated on reaching for the wastepaper basket to vomit in it. “Are you implying that more went on in that elevator than what actually did?”
Sharon held out her hands. “You tell me.”
“He took my card that day. That’s all. Whatever happened after that was not in my control, nor was it orchestrated.”
Sharon smiled a wide smile that had the radiance of a nuclear explosion. “I thought as much.”
“Since I arrived here, Jude and I have become friends,” I said, the words feeling like they were shredding my insides. It was more than that for me, but it was a secret that needed to stay locked inside forever or at least until I was no longer working on Naturals. “Just friends and Tessa seems to have taken offence to that.”
“We take the wellbeing of all our employees very seriously,” Sharon said. “If you have anything you’d like to put on record, now is the time to say it.”
If I got fired, I got fired, but I wasn’t going to suffer under the thumb of a bully anymore. I’d changed so much in the last six months it was crazy, and I wasn’t about to let a snake like her take that growth away from me. I was finally becoming the person I wanted to be all my life but was too afraid to let out. This was my time, job or no job.
“Tessa Donahue is a bully, plain and simple,” I said. “From the moment I arrived, she’s been at my throat unprovoked. Up until last week, I’ve let her say her piece and walked away without biting because I believed that was the professional thing to do. But when she insults my credibility and threatens my job, then I’m going to say something about it.” I took a deep breath, barely holding on. “I have not once propositioned, touched, or harassed another member of this cast and crew. I have only been professional and courteous up until the point Tessa Donahue verbally attacked me the day before yesterday. Which was the third time she had crossed the line. I take this job and very seriously, and I am deeply offended that I’m even sitting here having to defend my position.”
“We mean no disrespect to you, Lux, but you do understand that I needed to hear it directly from you and not a secondhand source.”
I nodded, knowing that if I opened my mouth again, I’d be a blubbering mess.
“Here.” She pulled a tissue from the box on her desk and handed it to me. “Take a second. I know it’s not a nice conversation to have.”
Dabbing my eyes, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding onto. “Jude pushed for this?”
Sharon tilted her head to the side. “I thought you knew?”
“I guess it depends on what your definition of push is.” Handing my books to a producer seemed like a nod, but a push? I wasn’t sure it fit the definition.
“Well, he made a fuss. He never mentioned any of it?”
I shook my head. “No. No, he didn’t.”
“Well, regardless of who pushed what, it was a good decision to have you here, Lux. I appreciate the fact that you told me the truth just now. That, my dear, took a lot of balls.”
I frowned, confused that she was congratulating me on a rant well done. “I’m not getting fired?”
“God no,” she said, waving her hand at me. “You have proven to be quite a valuable asset to the show. Tessa will just have to get over it because there’s no way we’re letting you go. You’d have to commit murder for us to negate your contract.”
“That mightn’t be much of a stretch,” I said, widening my eyes.
“Well, hold in your homicidal tendencies until the end of the season.”
I smiled weakly, just wanting to get out of there and take a beat.
“If you have any worries, please let me know,” Sharon said kindly. “I know I can be a hard-ass, but you can talk to me.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“Wait.” She held up her hand. “Mayweather propositioned you?”
“Oh,” I exclaimed. I’d already forgotten about it. “He was handsy, is all.”
“He has the reputation,” Sharon confirmed. “He’s already wrapped, but if you want—”
“No,” I interrupted. “I didn’t let it get very far, and he’s already gone.”
“That man is a sexual harassment case waiting to happen,” she said with a sigh. “It’s a shame you know. He’s a fabulous director.”
“Hopefully, the episode will come out okay.”
“Don’t you worry about that, Lux. I’ve got it covered.” Standing, she rounded the desk, and I rose to shake her hand, but she went for the air kiss instead. “Now, go and enjoy the rest of your day. Write something amazing for me.”
I sighed, a weight lifting from my shoulders. “Thank you.”
“And, Lux? Don’t let this dint your confidence. I’d like to say it’s a one-off kind of situation, but it happens quite regularly in showbiz. Consider yourself fully initiated.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that without sounding bratty, so I just smiled and left her office.
Outside, Jude had disappeared.
I was kind of glad he was nowhere to be found. I needed to walk it off, and he’d probably ask questions I couldn’t, or didn’t want to, answer. The future was a very hazy place for Lux Dawson version two point oh. Actually, it was more like version two point one now.
There was no getting rid of me before the end of my contract, but if I wanted it renewed, I knew I had to keep my friendship with Jude strictly platonic, which meant no more falling asleep and cuddling in his bed, and I had to stay away from the set at all costs. Last night had been frivolous considering I’d thought I was a dead woman walking.
More importantly, I had to keep out of Tessa’s way. The less I saw of her, the better.
The more I thought over it, the more I liked that course of action. After all the doom and gloom that had clogged my head,
I was back at square one. That darn universe was at it again. Two reckless steps forward and two careful steps back.
At least I could take stock in the fact that I had been right about Tessa all along. She was threatened by anything and anyone who tried to take what she believed was hers, and that included Jude. She saw him as a means to an end, a plaything, a step up to the top, someone to be manipulated. She didn’t deserve to have him in her life, and she especially didn’t deserve his love.
I should hate her. I mean, I had enough reason to, but I didn’t. Hate was a strong word, and along with love, it was thrown about with reckless abandon. People should be careful with that word…it had a lot of power behind it.
No, I didn’t hate Tessa. I felt sorry for her more than anything.
You could roll a turd in glitter, but under all the glitz and glamour, it was still a big, steaming turd.
Episode Eighteen
The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get
I wasn’t even sure how I’d gotten myself into this mess anymore.
The most unpredictable part of a human being was the heart. Not in a technical way—it always beat, pumped blood, and did what it was supposed to most times—but more in the emotional sense. Why the heart wanted the things it did was a mystery that was right up there with the Bermuda Triangle and that strange other realm where all the odd socks go during the spin cycle.
The biggest kicker of all was that it was never easy to put up with an unpredictable emotional organ. It felt absolutely everything, and there wasn’t a thing you could do to stop it.
After my meeting with Sharon, I’d pretty much avoided all contact with what was going on with filming. It’d worked out in my favor considering I hadn’t seen Tessa since she’d last threatened me. What was great about that was the fact that she hadn’t had a chance to gloat, which I was sure she was dying to do. Any victory to a bully was a grand one, even though I was still around. The only place I couldn’t avoid her, or Jude, was at the weekly table read.
