“No.”
“No? Why?”
“Because if you talk to them, they will want more. They will always want more. If you say one wrong thing, even something not wrong, if it’s something they can twist, it will only get worse. They will hunt you for any information they can get. They have no morals with how far they will dig into your life.”
“I don’t think so. I mean, I know I don’t know. But it can’t be all that bad. Isn’t there a chance they will get bored and leave me alone?”
“Not a chance. I’m sorry you have to deal with any of this. It wasn’t my intention when I went to your place.”
“Yeah, I’m still not really clear on that.”
Gideon leaned back in his chair. “I wish I knew what to tell you. I have instincts like everyone does. Mine was telling me you needed someone, anyone. I made it my job to be that person for you.”
“I didn’t need rescuing, you know. I was okay. I mean the flu wasn’t planned. But I can do for myself.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t. There’s something about you, some reason you need to be in my life. Or me in yours, I’m not sure yet.”
“So what, I’m supposed to go from dowdy mail clerk to BFF of Gideon of Clan Othala? Is there some kind of badge you get? A club of some sort? Because I’ll be honest with you, I don’t fit in your life.”
“Why not? Why can’t we be friends?”
“Friends who buy each other expensive gifts? Because that is going to be very one-sided.”
“It wasn’t expensive, it was basic necessities.”
“Only someone like you would say that. Did you know Sabrina bought multiple pairs of shoes? Where am I going to wear them?”
“Does it matter?”
“I guess not. It makes us unequal, though.”
“Who’s counting?”
“Gideon, be serious.”
“I’m always serious. We’re friends. You and me. I know things about you that I’m sure a lot of people don’t know. That makes us each other’s confidant.”
“I don’t know anything salacious about you. What are you going to share?”
“You need something for blackmailing purposes?”
“Do you really think that I would do something like that?”
“No, you couldn’t.”
“Thank you for that.”
“I’m not sure what I could share with you.”
“Well I’m certainly not going to suggest anything. Gideon, what will your other friends think about me? What will they think about you befriending a lowly office minion?”
“A lowly worker? What is this a Dicken’s novel?”
“No, but there’s hierarchy in business. In case you weren’t sure, you’re the king and I’m the scullery maid.”
“You’re funny.”
“I’m being serious!”
“Which makes you funnier.”
“Let’s skip the sharing and get to when I’m going home?”
“When Lee says you can.”
“Lee can’t check in on me every day.”
“He can if I tell him to.”
“I think I’m over the hump. I barely have a temperature anymore.”
Faye sucked in a breath when Gideon leaned over and put his hand on her forehead. She knew her eyes got big, but how could they not with Gideon touching her?
“You’re still warm,” he decreed.
“If you say so.”
“I do. We can stay here through the weekend and if you are feeling up to it, we can see about getting you home Sunday night.”
“And until then I’m supposed to sit on your couch eating bonbons and watching your really big television?”
“It’s not that big. Do you need bonbons? I can get you some.”
“No, I don’t need bonbons. I need to go home, get back to work and school. I can’t afford to miss any classes and fail. I’d have to start the semester over and that would set me back.”
Gideon was quiet for a moment, he was watching her, but she could tell he was thinking.
“I can pay for your schooling,” he said suddenly.
Faye sputtered, “No, you can’t!”
“I can. I want to. Then you won’t have to worry.”
“Gideon, you can’t go around throwing money at other people’s problems. And it’s not even a problem. It’s just what I need to manage.”
“Let me help.”
“There’s no need. You’re my boss, sort of. You’ve already done too much.”
“You think this is too much? Faye, I could show you too much.”
Faye groaned. “Please don’t. I’m already in way over my head. I keep checking my own head for a fever because I haven’t come to terms with the fact I’m here.”
“I like you. That’s why you’re here.”
“Not to be rude, and believe me I’m not trying to be disrespectful, but shouldn’t you be looking for your mate?”
Gideon blinked slowly. “I’m always looking for my mate.”
“Don’t you think you should be keeping other women at arm’s length?”
“No.”
“No? Why no? Aren’t you supposed to know your mate?”
“We do. It’s undeniable when it happens.”
“Okay, so wouldn’t your mate be mad to find out you were harboring a plague carrier in your apartment?”
“You don’t have the plague and it’s my apartment. I do what I want. And finding our mates takes effort. It’s not always a bolt of lightning from the sky. People can know each other for a long time before finding the right partner. We still have to live our lives. We date; we form attachments to the extent we can, always knowing that someday someone might come along that breaks that relationship. It’s why most of us are confirmed daters.”
“Fine, but I’m not your mate. So I shouldn’t be making myself comfortable. You shouldn’t be buying me things.”
“I like you.”
“That’s nice.”
“No, Faye, I like you. I’m drawn to you. Take that however you want.”
“However I want? I don’t know how to take that. Do you like to collect damaged goods? Is that your thing?”
Gideon’s eyes went yellow for a split second before returning to green. “You are not damaged goods, Faye.”
“Oh, but I really am.”
“What will it take to convince you that I like you? I want you around. I like having you here.”
Faye shrugged. “I’ll be honest. I’m probably not going to believe anything you say. I can’t figure out your motivation so everything is suspect.”
Faye felt like schmuck saying that. But she hadn’t survived on her own this long by being gullible. She knew how to take care of herself. Having someone else step up and do that would just fill her with false expectations that could leave her hanging.
“Fine,” Gideon said, standing up.
Faye figured he’d seen the light and was going to help her return to her home.
He didn’t, at least he didn’t in that moment. In that moment he leaned over her chair, trapping her against the back of the cushion.
“Faye, I want to kiss you.”
“You do? Why?”
Gideon closed his eyes and inhaled. “You smell like caramelized sugar. Your big brown eyes keep pulling me in and I can’t seem to get enough of your company. I think kissing you would let us both know if there is something here.”
“If there is?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Maybe I kiss you and you hate it. Then you’ll know and I’ll know that I was mistaken. I don’t think I’m wrong here, Faye. I think that kissing you will be another piece of the puzzle.”
“I have the flu,” she reminded him.
“Kindred can’t get the flu. I’ll be fine. Yes or no?”
Faye didn’t know what the answer was. She wasn’t ready for a quiz! She liked to take notes and religiously study them before an exam. Gideon was asking for a kiss. Was she s
upposed to kiss him or was he going to kiss her? There needed to be preliminary hearings for something like this.
Did she even want to kiss him? She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t unaware of his sex appeal. What could be the harm in a kiss? She’d met a young man when she first moved out of her foster home. They’d shared an apartment for six months. It had been a lackluster relationship that didn’t really teach her about what she wanted in a sexual partner or any kind of partner, for that matter.
Oh, gawd. She was thinking about sex in front of Gideon and Kindred had really good sense of smell. This was bad. It was most definitely bad. Those yellow eyes shone at her again.
“Yes?”
“That had a question on the end. Think of it as a scientific study. If we both like it, then we know we enjoy each other’s company and we can move ahead.”
“Move ahead? As in I have to let you buy me more things?”
“As in you’ll let someone you like help you out.”
“And if I don’t like you?”
Gideon inhaled again and she knew she was totally busted.
“For academic purposes I’m saying yes. Though I question your judgment in kissing a person that is contagious.”
“As I said, I can’t get sick.”
Faye forced herself to not lean away from him as his face came towards hers. She didn’t want to close her eyes but would die of embarrassment if she was staring at him.
Closing her eyes, she held as still as she could. Expecting his lips to hit hers, she was surprised when she felt the pad of his thumb brush over her lower lip.
“Faye, open your eyes.”
She did and saw he was very close, his eyes were open too.
“I want you to see me when I kiss you.”
So, bug eyes it was. Faye felt a small tug on her chin from his thumb that made her mouth open the slightest amount. She sucked in a breath just as his mouth closed over hers.
His lips were strong and soft. He didn’t hesitate. He kissed her. He moved, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She responded because he tasted amazing. Faye heard herself moan and she would have been embarrassed until Gideon responded with his own moan.
He deepened their kiss, his hands moving around her waist to pull her to her knees that she’d had tucked under her. One of his hands landed on her lower back and pressed her to his hips. His other hand cradled the back of her head as they kissed.
Faye found herself gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. She was using the material to try and pull him closer, or her closer, she wasn’t sure. Faye just knew that she was being consumed, willingly. It was an all-consuming fire.
Everything in her wanted to rub up against him, make contact with the ache between her legs. It wouldn’t take much. That kiss had shot straight to the core of her and her mind immediately went to those naked thoughts she usually kept to herself. Her mind could easily conjure up what Gideon would look like naked. It would be too much to bear.
There wasn’t an end in sight and because of that she made the move to push away from him. Gideon released her, although it seemed reluctantly.
Faye was panting, the air not filling her lungs fast enough.
She was sure that friends didn’t kiss that way. In her experience no one kissed like that. She knew she was missing out on some information about what was normal, but that didn’t change the experience.
“Faye?” Gideon started.
“We shouldn’t have done that,” she said quietly.
“I think we very much should have. Didn’t you feel it?”
Dear lord, what did he mean by that? “What?”
“Connection, Faye. There’s a reason we were put in each other’s path.”
“So we’re friends that kiss? I don’t think that is how things are done, Gideon.”
“Who’s to say how things are done? Maybe you are my mate. Maybe this is just the future we both need to wait for.”
“And what if it’s not? What if your mate comes along and then what? I’m supposed to just go away?”
“No! I won’t have that.”
“You won’t be able to deny it. I know that once Kindred are mated they’re absolutely loyal. You will fall in love and I’ll be a very unwelcome third wheel.”
Gideon pushed back from the chair and started pacing. He was running his hands through his dark hair. “I don’t know! I can’t deny this. I can’t resist the pull to you.”
“Don’t you see, Gideon? You have to. If I’m not your mate, then you can’t play with my feelings. I can’t let myself feel anything if I know that it can literally be ripped away from me in a moment.”
“Then we go back to friends. I won’t lose you just because it’s complicated.”
Faye laughed sadly. “Complicated. It was complicated before the kiss. Now… it’s a disaster.”
Gideon smirked. “I’m sorry for the situation, but I won’t be sorry for that kiss.” He stalked back to her and leaned in close.
“That kiss was more than physical. It was a connection. I don’t know if I can resist you.”
“You will resist me if you care about me at all. If we’re friends like you say, then you wouldn’t want me hurt, right?”
“I won’t hurt you, Faye.”
“You will, you will hurt me. Gideon, this isn’t my life. This apartment, the clothes. This is how you live. I don’t need all this. If you let me go home, I’ll go back to my plans. I’ll get my certification. I’ll start my new job. I’ll get a pet. It will be all right. You don’t owe me anything.”
“That’s not true!”
“It is. How can you owe me anything? I take that back, you owe me a paycheck when I do my job. And up until this week we have had a functioning relationship of give and take. We can leave it at that.”
Gideon stood again and paced over to the window. “I wish I could. I see that would be best for you.”
Faye could hear the pause in his voice. “I need you here.”
“Why?”
“Would you believe that I don’t know?”
“Yes, I would believe that. I don’t know where that leaves us.”
“Stay, for now. Let me figure out this situation with the media. I’ll keep you as out of it as best I can. No photo and it’s like you aren’t here.”
“What about work?”
“I’ll arrange that. If you trust me, that is.”
“I have no reason not to trust you. I’m worried that we are digging a hole neither of us will be able to drag ourselves out of.”
“I’ll deal with that. Let me take care of you. Room and board. I can figure out how to get you to work and school. I have the resources to make this problem much less inconvenient for you. If you are back home, they will be on you like fleas on a dog. I wouldn’t let you go back without a guard on you. I don’t think you’d like that much.”
“No, I would not like it. So I’m supposed to stay here, go to work from here? People will talk.”
“Not in front of you, they won’t. Does it matter if they talk about you behind your back?”
Faye had to think about that. “No, I’ve always assumed they did anyway.”
Gideon gave her one of those rare smiles. “Then we are both pessimists. I assume people are always talking about me too.”
“They are,” Faye agreed.
“Well then, I won’t feel the effects of this as much as you would. So because of my thick skin, I must do what I can to make sure you don’t suffer for it. I’ll make sure you can live your life like you normally do.”
Faye didn’t want to let on that the idea of people following her or waiting for her at her home made her nervous. It terrified her to think that she wouldn’t know if they were there for a good reason or a bad. She’d lived in her bubble for so long, going unnoticed was a comfort. Now from the sounds of it, plenty of people knew her name. That made her stomach hurt at the thought.
“I’m scared to go home,” she admitted. Faye knew uttering the words only emboldened
his stance on her staying.
“Then stay, Faye. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
Faye chewed on her lip and looked around the room. Maybe she could pretend she was on a long vacation. A vacation that included school and work, but a place that looked like a fancy hotel to her.
“Only if you agree that when everything goes back to normal, when people have moved on from whatever this picture is, that I can go back to my life.”
“I can’t be sure that it will be the same after this. I know you now. I wouldn’t want you to be struggling like you were.”
“Struggling isn’t suffering, Gideon. It means different things to different people.”
“I suppose it does. But friends help friends.”
“And how would I be helping you?”
“By being my company. Teaching me about movies that for some reason you and Lee know all the words to and I’m left clueless. You can teach me about what a veterinary assistant does.”
Faye laughed. “Information you need, I’m sure. I will say yes to you because you are making me feel guilty for some reason at the thought of saying no. I’ll need to move into the other room and I won’t negotiate that.”
“Fine. Any other conditions?”
“Just that I don’t expect you to include me in your life. I can just stay out of your way and we both will be able to go along as we did before we met.”
“Faye, you don’t see yourself at all, do you?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“You are lovely. There’s no way that I will be able to ignore your presence.”
Chapter 18
The last look Gideon gave her before she left the room to move her things made her think that their agreement was not as set in stone as it sounded.
That kiss lingered on her lips. She caught herself running her fingertips over her mouth. Her lips were swollen from a kiss! Faye poked her head into the bathroom on the way to the closet to see if they looked any different.
They did. They were plump and looked bigger than normal. All that from a kiss. She wouldn’t have told Gideon that it had stirred things in her that she never really bothered with. She wasn’t without sexual feelings. Her one and only boyfriend did not make the attempt of gaining another seem that appealing. Her last set of foster parents had drilled into her that touching yourself was a sin. So naturally as soon as she left, she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
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