by Wylie, Jen
His cheeks flushed at the harshness of her voice. "Why are you so angry at us?"
She stared at him, taken aback by his words. Why was she? "Because…because everything hurts...and I'm afraid," she answered in a rush. "All I can see are the men who hurt me. With you all, I keep expecting the fists and hands to start falling. To hurt me. I can't help it. It won't go away. I hate it. And them. I can't stop it. I just want it to stop."
He opened his mouth and then closed it quickly before turning to look solemnly into the fire.
At least he'd stopped talking.
Staring at the fire, she forced herself not to sleep. Avery kept away from her and didn't try talking to her again, but he did occasionally look at her with sad, wounded eyes. She ignored him as the day dragged on and he collected more wood and puttered around their new camp.
She tried not to think about Kei. It was hard to do. She missed him and wanted him with her, but at the same time memories of his transformation and what he'd done to the slavers overwhelmed every other thought of him.
Bo and Cain found them before Prince returned. They greeted her warily as they sat down with weary thuds and pulled off their soaked boots and socks.
She sat wrapped in her fear and pain and stared at the fire. She could hear Avery talking quietly to them, probably about her. She didn't care. Maybe they'd leave her alone.
Prince returned before dark, dirty, scratched, and looking ready to collapse. She stared at him in shock as he stumbled in and dropped down beside her, tossing a knotted shirt in front of her. "Food. Eat it."
She pounced on the bag, her swollen fingers fumbling at the knots. Luckily the thick cloth wasn't tied tightly and she managed to get into the body of the stuffed shirt, finding it full of berries. She started jamming them into her mouth before looking guiltily at the others.
"You eat it," Bo said with a faint smile. "You're skin and bone."
"And you need food to get better," Cain added. "We can't have you slowing us down after all." Even though the words themselves were harsh, it was something she understood.
She glanced down at Prince. "Just eat the food," he snapped.
So she did. She found the arms of the shirt had been filled with various kinds of some sort of root, already scrubbed clean. She ate until she worried she would get sick. "I'm full." She told the men, pushing what remained toward the others. They didn't fight over what remained, but they finished it off quickly enough.
She looked down at Prince. She'd never seen him so exhausted. Or so dirty and disheveled. It caused a different kind of pain in her chest. He'd taken care of her. Again. She wanted, she needed to take care of herself now, but...She looked down at her bruised and swollen hands. Sometimes a person just couldn't, could they? Maybe sometimes, you did need someone. Still, it was hard to speak, hard to keep the anger and fear inside of her out of her voice. "Did you...Did you have some?"
He sat up and regarded her carefully for a moment before he nodded. "I did." He leaned forward and cupped her uninjured cheek in one hand, wiping his thumb gently across her lips and over the corners of her bruised mouth. "You are the messiest eater I have ever seen."
She looked down at her dirty hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
He sighed and removed his hand. "As am I." He tucked some hair behind her ear. "You need to sleep now."
She shook her head frantically and glanced over at him. "I don't want to close my eyes," she admitted. "I see...bad things. When I close them."
He put his arm around her. "I'll be here."
She tensed at first, but then took a deep breath and relaxed. This was Prince. He had never hurt her, and honestly, she didn't think he ever would. She forced herself to relax and curled up next to him. At least now she didn't have to worry about what the men thought. She closed her eyes tightly and allowed herself to consider sleep. The dark images came, but she fought them back thinking of Prince on his black horse keeping them away.
She awoke with a start sometime in the night. She sat up carefully, looking around. All the men were sleeping. She frowned. Had someone called her name? She looked around again and gasped.
A pair of glowing red eyes stared at her from within the bushes.
"Kei?"
The eyes blinked and she heard a rustle of branches before they suddenly disappeared. She sat up for a while more but they didn't return.
The next day they pushed on, now paralleling the road. They traveled slowly, spreading out and foraging as they went. Prince moved amongst them, showing them plants they could eat, teaching them what was poisonous. They stopped early to camp near another small stream.
As it grew dark, she searched the shadows for any sign of Kei but didn't see anything. Staying close to Prince as she slept seemed to keep the nightmares from being too bad, though they still came. She woke again in the night and same as before saw the red eyes watching her, but they again left quickly when she called out Kei's name.
The next morning the men were surprised to find a pile of weapons next to her.
The men went over the weapons, perplexed, and she scowled at their stupidity. "It's Kei." She started digging through the pile. "These were the slaver's weapons. He brought them to us."
They sorted out the weapons, mostly various knives, daggers, and two swords. Cain took one, Prince the other. She felt so much safer having knives again. It bothered her she couldn't smile about that.
The days blurred together. They walked, foraged, and camped by water when they could. There at least seemed to be an abundance of it in the forest. That was one less worry for them. Food remained hard to find, so they all remained hungry.
She watched for Kei. During the day she never saw any sign of him. Any time in the night she awoke she would see his eyes though. He was following them. It made her feel a little better, and disturbed her, too. His eyes had remained red, and she knew they shouldn't have. Avery had said the few times Kei had gone into the fury in the army, he'd always returned back to normal in a few days at the most.
As she curled up beside Prince she whispered a good night to the others. She didn't talk to them much anymore or them to her. She couldn't stand it when they touched her. Her anger and fear wouldn't go away, and any time anyone tried to talk to her she always ended up being mean or snapping at them. Prince seemed to be made of unending patience, or he knew she didn't really mean the things she said. With him she was better. She didn't flinch from his touch at all anymore. He'd saved her, he always did. She had no trouble drifting off to sleep in his arms, her head tucked under his chin.
She awoke and saw the sun hadn't yet risen. As usual she wasn't certain what had caused her to awaken, but she immediately sat up and looked around for Kei. When she saw his glowing red eyes she carefully shifted away from Prince and stood. The eyes winked out, but she hurried in the direction she'd seen them.
Their campsite wasn't surrounded by thick and thorny brush, but she still struggled her way through the undergrowth and around trees trying to find Kei.
It quickly became apparent he hadn't waited for her. "Kei," she whispered loudly. "I want to see you!" She pushed forward and almost stumbled into a small clearing.
She stopped suddenly as the moon broke from the clouds and lit the clearing before her.
Kei stood there facing her, his body tense as if to flee, or attack. The moon shone off his hair and glinted off of the long claws that moved slowly at his sides, quietly clicking together. Once she saw them she couldn't take her eyes of the impossible length of them. They looked so deadly, so sharp.
He looked up at her and blazing red eyes burned from behind the locks of hair that always fell over his face. Even after days he was still angry, still wild.
"Kei…" she whispered, her voice cracking as her heart lodged in her throat.
She took a step forward and one of the clawed hands rose. "Stay there."
She stopped suddenly at the strange sound of his voice; rough, ragged, full of anger and pain.
She clenched h
er teeth then. Why was he angry? What pain did he have? She was the one feeling those emotions, not him. It hadn't happened to him, it had happened to her.
"Are you doing well?"
The absurdity of his question made her angrier. "No," she snapped and took another step forward. "No. I'm not."
She watched his eyes flicker over her. She knew what he saw the green and yellow of bruises still on her face, and a darker spot of purple on her cheekbone. Her hands had become mottled as well, though the swelling had at least receded. They continued to be stiff, but she could at least use them again. She was glad for her shirt as it hid the worst bruises that still ran down her forearms and side.
His head lowered and hands clenched, the claws clacking together again. "I'm sorry. I didn't get there in time."
Her anger, her hatred, had never been directed at Kei. It was starting to now though. "I guess it's your fault then." His head shot up at her harsh words. "Since it certainly couldn't be their fault they did that to me. It's certainly not my fault, for not listening and going off on my own."
"Aro…" He shook his head and turned away. "I'm sorry."
She gritted her teeth again and started walking toward him, but he twisted abruptly and quickly backed away, both hands out. "No! Stay away from me!"
She stopped and watched him for a moment. She saw those red eyes had started burning brightly, noted the sharp, quick breaths he was taking. He reminded her so much of herself.
"I need to go," he said.
"No."
He growled at her, showing teeth, showing canines that were long and pointed. She ignored his warning and glared at him while she strode forward. He jumped back, trying to keep his distance and she stopped. "You will stop that right now!"
He shook his head violently. "You don't understand…"
"No!" As her voice rose her hands clenched tighter at her sides. "You aren't leaving! You aren't leaving me again! You promised you wouldn't and then you did and I've needed you, I've…" She could barely speak because the tears had started again. "They always left, but they came back. But now they aren't. My brothers. You're the last one I have. You can't…you can't leave me, too."
"Aro," he whispered, his voice full of sadness. "I'm sorry. I'm dangerous. I could hurt you." He growled again. "I can't calm down. I can't make it go away." His teeth flashed again. "When I saw what they were doing to you...I've never been so furious in my life. I've never lost control so quickly, so much."
She choked on a sob and rubbed at her eyes. "You won't hurt me," she insisted.
"I will. It's what I am."
Troublesome Fey. He just didn't understand. He was family. He was all she had left, all she would ever have. She knew she'd never see her brothers again. She was all he had, too. They needed each other. Why couldn't he understand that? She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve before taking a deep breath and looking up at him. She stood closer to him now. Only a few steps away. She could see he didn't like that by the way his body had become so very tense, as if it would shatter at any moment.
"Liar," she finally said loudly, making him start.
His brows drew together and his body shifted to spring away as she started closing the distance between them. She jabbed a finger at him before he could move. "Don't you dare move! You will stay right there!" He swayed again and her words snapped out like a whip, "Stay. There."
He froze in place, not moving a muscle until she stood right before him, and then the trembling started.
"I don't want to hurt you." His words came out quiet, choked, afraid.
She reached out slowly, ignoring his flinch, and put a hand on his shoulder. She stared at his face but he wouldn't look at her, keeping his head bowed.
She moved her hand slowly across his shoulder and up to curl about the back of his stiff neck. "You won't hurt me," she told him quietly. "You won't ever hurt me, Kei."
She pulled him gently to her as she slowly moved even closer, drawing his head to her shoulder. "You protect me. You take care of me. You won't ever hurt me." She kept up the quiet litany as she brought her other arm up and held him as she leaned her head against his. "You are my Fey. My Kei. You won't ever hurt me."
His rapid breathing slowed and the trembling subsided as she gently stroked his hair. He still remained rigid in her arms. He did not embrace her back, but kept his arms stiff to his sides.
He turned his face slightly, took a deep breath. "Aro…I can't…"
She kept her voice firm, "You can. You will." She gently pushed him back a little, moving her hands to cup his face, fingers forcing his chin up so he had to look at her. She stared into his eyes, noting they were still red, but not burning as wildly as before. "You are mine, Kei. And I am yours. You will never hurt me. Do you understand? Never."
"Aro…"
"Never," she said determinedly
He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them and nodded.
A faint smile crossed her lips and part of her rejoiced at that. He was hard to get through to, but she could see now he'd given up fighting her. Good. She wasn't done yet. Her hands tightened slightly on his face. "You will never leave me again."
His jaw clenched under her hands, the red eyes brightened.
"I said you will never leave me again. Ever. Do you understand?" She had to make him understand, because she didn't think she could survive being alone without him again. "Even when you are wild, you will not leave me. Because you will not hurt me, you will protect me. You will not leave me," she said again.
He stared at her, fighting something within himself. His body began to tense again.
"Kei," she said warningly. "Don't start this nonsense again. You will stay with me. I can't be alone again. I can't stand it."
His face crumbled at her words and his head bowed again. She moved her hands up his face, pushing back his wild hair as he nodded.
"I understand." He looked up suddenly and she dropped her hands to his chest. "We will stay together. I will stay with you. You will stay with me."
She nodded solemnly. "Yes. Together."
"Forever."
She nodded again as he let out a deep sigh. He surprised her by gently wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. She could feel his claws rest carefully across her back. She wasn't afraid. She believed her own words. She relaxed against him and let him hold her.
This was right. She was safe now. Protected. She closed her eyes and tried to let the fears inside of her go. Only normal darkness greeted her. She smiled against him in relief. Kei had been what she needed. He had brought her back to herself.
"We should go back to the camp," she whispered into his chest.
He stiffened slightly and pulled back just enough so he could look down at her. He shook his head. "I can't. I may be safe with you. But not with the others."
She grimaced. He was probably right. She sighed. An idea came to her and she raised her hands to his face again, holding him steady and looking into his red eyes. "Then we'll make you safe. Understand?"
"I don't–"
"Give it to me," she said firmly, not taking her eyes from him. "Give it to me, the anger, the hate, the rage."
He didn't look away from her, perhaps he couldn't, but he frowned. "I–"
This was right. She could feel it. More than anything, she needed him and would do anything to keep him by her side. "Please, give it to me. I'll take it from you."
His eyes bored into hers, searching for something, and then he nodded. "How do–"
"Just let it go…" she whispered.
Her words had hardly left her lips before she felt him do it. A prickly, buzzing sensation came over her, into her. Anger and rage and fear and hate suddenly poured into her, burning through her and she gasped at the shock of it. Not at the feelings, those she had been living with, but that they were so strong, and came from Kei.
Kei's arms tightened around her, but she didn't mind. His embrace helped, supported her as his wild Fey power flowed i
nto her. It didn't hurt. Much. Once she knew not to fight it, to let just let it flow and wrap itself around everything inside of her. It filled the empty parts before the rest slid away, dissipating inside of her. Strange.
She could see it was working. It wasn't just coming into her, but draining from him. She watched in amazement as she saw his eyes start to change. The red faded into orange, then into yellow, and finally the light itself faded away until only his golden eyes remained.
She gasped. "See?" She still felt dizzy and buzzing from the Fey power that had coursed through her. Was it still inside of her? She had no idea and didn't really care.
He frowned down at her, his teeth worrying his lip. She saw his teeth had returned to normal. She noticed she could no longer feel claws around her either, only his hands. "How are you?" He sounded worried.
She nodded and lowered her head. She was getting a crick in her neck from staring up at him. "Fine."
His hand moved under her chin and forced her face back up and she got worried as his eyes searched hers. She panicked. "What? What is it?"
He let out a breath suddenly and smiled slightly. "Your eyes turned red. But it's starting to fade now."
Her eyebrows visited her hairline. "My eyes?"
"Mm hmm," he said and his smile grew and he hugged her close again. "You're the strangest girl I ever met."
She punched his chest lightly. "Troublesome Fey."
He chuckled and pushed her back, putting his hands on her shoulders and bending a bit to look at her eyes. "Just about back to normal."
"Normal? Who's normal?"
He grinned again. "Certainly not either of us," he agreed.
"Let's go back." She sniffed. "You stink."
He glared over at her and scrunched up his nose. "I'll walk you back, then go and clean up."
They walked hand in hand through the clearing and her mind wandered, peaceful and quiet for once. Kei had come back to her.
"Aro."
She nearly jumped out of her skin. She stopped abruptly to stare at Prince who had appeared suddenly at the edge of the clearing. He looked from her, to Kei, and back again, a slight frown on his face. "Are you coming back to camp?"
