This is my moment. This is the beginning of the makeover.
“Bevin, here’s the thing,” I say in my most gentle voice, patting the chair for her to sit down. “Sometimes we say things that need to be said, because we think they need to be said, but the truth is, if we think a moment before we say them, we realize it’s best to stay quiet.” I pause. “Do you understand?”
Her eyebrows are crinkled. She doesn’t get it.
“Sorry.” She puts her head down on the desk. “No one even wants me here.”
Ugh. Now I need to cheer her up. I can’t just let her go around feeling terrible and not needed. This is the first step to helping her.
“Bevin,” I say. “Come on.”
She keeps sitting there, with her head on the desk, her dirty-blondish hair spread around her like some kind of old-fashioned fan.
“It’s true. I know you didn’t want me here. Even my dad is too busy for me. He thought I would be with my mom, but she had to do some photography expedition in Senegal.”
It’s kind of hard to hear her because her head’s down on the desk. If Anais sees this, she will not be pleased. I should tell her I understand about dads being too busy and dads moving away and all of that. But sometimes it’s hard to admit you’re suffering too. It’s opening yourself up, knowing you’ll never be able to close yourself again.
“And now I messed things up with you and your boyfriend.”
“Bevin,” I say again. “I don’t even know if he’s my boyfriend.”
Her head jerks up. “See! Exactly why I had to say something. You don’t even know. And you want him to be. And you’re just letting the whole summer—the most romantic time of the year—pass by without knowing or not!”
“OK, Bevin.” I fold my hands in my lap. “How would you like to spend the afternoon together?”
“I thought you had Earth Club,” she says.
“It’s optional.” I smile. “And remember the other day when you were complimenting me on my clothes and I said how it’s all about having staple items in your wardrobe?”
She nods.
“Well, I have an idea. Let’s go shopping. We’ll find you a few new things. We’ll have lunch. We can even meet up with some friends of mine.”
Her eyes bulge and she starts clapping. “Really? Really? Really? You mean that?”
“Shh.” I put a finger to my lips. “I don’t need everyone knowing I’m skipping Earth Club.”
“Oh-kay,” she mouths.
Claudia pops her head in after the interview she’s conducting ends. “Ready, Luce?”
“Yup.” I hop up from my chair and motion for Bevin to get up too. “Bevin’s coming also. We’re actually going to the mall for the Earth Club meeting today.”
“Huh?” Claudia makes a face.
“Yup. We’re making sure the food court is recycling all glass and plastic bottles.” I look over at Bevin to make sure she stays quiet. Yes, it’s a total lie, but it actually sounds like a good Earth Club project. I make a mental note to tell Mrs. Deleccio about it later.
Claudia and Bean drop us off at the mall’s main entrance and I quickly look around to see if there’s anyone I know nearby.
I’m half wishing that there is, and half wishing that there isn’t.
Claudia waves good-bye as she drives away and then it’s just Bevin and me.
I take a deep breath. This is really happening. A whole day alone with Bevin, working on her personality-improvement makeover.
“What should we do first?” she asks.
“Are you thirsty?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “I guess.”
“Iced tea!” We walk through the mall to the food court and stop at the Beverage Bodega. It’s a stand that only sells beverages—everything you can think of: milk shakes, coffee, soda, smoothies.
“When meeting new people, it’s good to have a beverage in your hand,” I tell Bevin. “That way if you can’t think of something to say, you can take a sip while you think of it.”
She nods.
“And this iced tea is so delicious, isn’t it?”
“Best iced tea I’ve ever had.” She smiles, and then slurps her drink loudly, gulping it all down and finishing with a huge burp.
My first instinct is to get all frustrated and yell at her, but that won’t help. “You finished it in three seconds. Try to savor it. And also, maybe you don’t want to burp so loud. In the future, take little sips, and make it last longer.”
“OK,” she says, and looks down at her feet. Her shoelaces are untied and one sock is higher than the other, like always. It’s going to be a long day. “Lucy, why are you suddenly, like, hanging out with me and telling me all this stuff? Did my dad pay you to spend time with me or something?”
I laugh and then cover my mouth. “No!”
“Well, then, why?”
I sigh, take a sip of iced tea, and say, “Well, here’s the thing, Bevin. I was lucky enough to have Claudia as my older sister to guide me through life. And you don’t have an older sister. And since I’m three days older than you, I decided that because you’re in Connecticut for the summer, I can at least provide you with a little big-sister guidance.”
She sniffles, then reaches over to hug me. She hugs me so tight, I can’t move, and here we are standing right in the middle of the food court hugging for what seems like three years. Finally she lets go.
“That is so nice, Lucy.”
We spend the rest of the day shopping and picking up what I like to call staples: plain tees and capri pants and hoodies and little white sports socks that will always stay put.
“You have a lot of nice stuff,” I tell Bevin while we’re on line to pay. “But you just need things that go with everything else, so you can change it up sometimes. And also you need new socks.”
She looks down at her feet and laughs. “Yeah, this isn’t even a matching pair.”
“I could tell.”
By the time we’re done shopping, it’s too late to meet up with people, so I decide socializing Bevin will be our next project.
And the truth is, I’m not really sure who I could introduce her to, since Sunny’s away and even when she’s here, she’s always busy with Evan, and everything is so awkward with Yamir and me.
I’m going to need to find temporary friends during this makeover process.
Later that night, my mind races with ways I can help Bevin, and I can’t fall asleep. I decide that since I’m awake I can do some more research for Earth Club. I feel a little guilty that I bailed on the last meeting just to avoid Yamir.
As I’m researching, I come across all these Going Green community groups. They’re basically groups of people who meet every month or so to discuss their Going Green progress. And then I come across all these other groups—restaurant owners’ groups, gardeners’ groups, vegan groups.
There’s basically a group for anything and everything.
It’s kind of amazing that the Internet can bring people together. I bet before the Internet, these people just had to do their own thing and worry about problems on their own. Maybe they knew a few people here or there and discussed issues with them. But they didn’t have this wide-reaching support system, and now they do.
I wonder if there’s an eco-spa owners’ group!
If I found a group to join, it would be the perfect way to show Anais and Gary and Mom and Grandma that I know what I’m doing, that I’m really a part of things and an important member of the team.
I keep looking up eco-spa owners, spa owners’ groups, small business owners, new business owners, all kinds of things, and then I narrow it down to Connecticut. It wouldn’t make much sense to join a group in California, even though it would be kind of fun to go there!
I think I’m getting closer when I stumble upon a message board with business owners from the Newport area. That’s only about an hour from here. Some of them talk about spas and salons, and they’re going through a lot of the same issues we are.
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sp; More research leads me to discover that there’s a southeastern Connecticut and Rhode Island small business owners’ group that is actually meeting a few times this summer! The next meeting is pretty soon, and it’s not even far away. It’s at the Bayberry Cove Library.
Their website says they’re a support group for people opening new businesses or expanding old ones. They share tips and advice on all sorts of issues that come up. I have to go. Grandma’s too busy, and Mom wouldn’t be interested. It’s up to me.
This group might know things we don’t about how to open a new business—they certainly know more than I know! But if I go, I could start to feel like I know what’s going on. I could have something to contribute.
Plus, if I’m going to be a spa consultant when I grow up, it couldn’t hurt to get started now.
I’m about to write in and say that I’ll be coming, when I realize that these people could probably get arrested for talking to a thirteen-year-old online. We had this whole seminar about that in school this year. There are all kinds of cyber rules, and I really don’t want to get these innocent people in trouble.
So I don’t respond. I just e-mail myself the meeting time and some other information. There’s no age requirement for a meeting like this. It’s at a library and anyone can be at a library.
I’m so excited that I found this that I have even more trouble falling asleep.
I’m at the kitchen table thinking about how much Bevin has improved already. Her socks always match, her hair is neat, she wears the clear lip gloss I gave her, and she hasn’t blurted out anything inappropriate since the Yamir incident.
I hate to be conceited, but it could be my influence. She’s getting positive attention from me and it’s going a long way.
We were hanging out at the mall food court the other day and we ran into some kids from Hebrew school. She was totally normal around them—for the most part. I mean, she did ask Elon Rosenberg ten times what his name was because she kept forgetting, but he seemed pretty understanding about it. I think she has a crush on him, but she hasn’t mentioned it yet.
She only tripped once, and in all fairness, it was because this guy left his tray on the floor next to the garbage can instead of putting it on the dirty-dishes cart.
She’s really improving.
I’m feeling pretty pleased with myself and all of my hard work with Bevin as I sip Mom’s fresh-squeezed OJ. And then my mom puts down the New York Times and stares at me.
“Lucy, I have to talk to you,” she says. “It’s about Dad.”
My throat immediately tightens up. My feelings about my dad are always wobbly like a seesaw. I used to secretly wish every night before bed that he’d come back. Then, over time, I sort of just stopped wishing for that. We had a great time when we were together, and life was pretty OK when we were apart too. But sometimes I can miss him really bad, with no warning. And then I get mad at myself for missing him and wishing he’d come back. He left us, and we’re fine without him, really. Plus, I don’t want to wish for something that may never happen.
We never really talked about it, though. Until now.
“Is he sick? What’s going on?”
My mom seems relatively calm. So why does she make everything sound so dramatic?
“He’s fine, he’s fine.” She laughs, but it sounds a little forced. “I know you and Claudia have been wondering when he’s coming this summer, and it’s been up in the air.”
I gulp the rest of the juice. “We know that.”
“Right.” She goes into the pantry and takes out a brown bag that’s greasy on the sides. “Chocolate croissants.” She puts the bag on the table and gives me one and takes one for herself. Since this is pretty much our second breakfast, she must be breaking some kind of bad news. “His contract with Oxford is still being worked out, and he doesn’t have the time this year for his regular two-week stay.”
See? Breaking bad news.
But at least I get a chocolate croissant.
“So when is he coming?” I ask after a bite.
“Well,” she starts, and then picks a few pieces off hers. “Remember our friend Esme? She’s the one who went backpacking across Africa and brought you back that handmade doll?”
“Yeah. I know. The wedding. You already discussed this, remember?” I don’t mean to sound rude, but Mom can get lost on a tangent forever, and I don’t understand what this has to do with Dad coming to Connecticut.
“Oh, right. So yeah, your dad wants to come for the wedding, and then he’ll take you and Claudia somewhere for a few days either before or after. So you will get to see him.”
She smiles and it seems like there’s more to the story, stuff she’s not telling me, but I can’t figure out what it is. It’s almost a mischievous smile, the kind of smile Claudia has when she’s getting away with something she shouldn’t. She had this smile when she told us Bean was staying for the summer.
“OK, so what’s the big deal?” I ask.
“No big deal, I just wanted you to know.” She looks down at her plate, but she’s still got that smile.
As I’m putting the dishes in the dishwasher, it occurs to me that Mom is thinking something she’s not saying. She’s terrible at keeping secrets. And it seems like Dad is just squeezing in his visit with us because he’s going to this wedding. I don’t want to be a squeeze-in. I want to be a priority.
Grandma, Claudia, and Bean are already at the pharmacy. Mom goes down to do the laundry, and then when she’s done we’ll be heading over there too. I try to come up with a game plan for Bevin and me for the day, but I can’t focus. I find myself wandering from room to room looking for something to do.
I decide to e-mail my dad. Maybe I just need to show him that I want to be a priority! I need to take action.
Dear Dad,
Mom said you’re coming for Esme’s wedding. That should be fun. I have ideas for our getaway. Maybe we can go to Cape Cod? Or Nantucket? People always say how amazing Nantucket is. Or we could even go to Fire Island. My Earth Club teacher just went and it’s so awesome. No cars! Let’s come up with an awesome plan. You’ll have to ask Claudia if Bean (her boyfriend) is coming. No, that’s not his real name. Claudia will explain.
Anyway, miss you! I’m excited for your visit.
Lots of love,
Lucy
A minute later, I get a reply.
Lucy dearest!
Fire Island sounds great. I knew you’d have a plan. The dates for my trip are still up in the air. I’ll e-mail you my itinerary as soon as I have it. Do you like Bean? If you like him, I like him. But I love YOU! Let’s Skype this week.
Dad
It’s a short e-mail, but it does make me feel a little bit better. He replied quickly and he’s excited about my plan. At least there’s someone in this family who cares what I have to say!
in the Relaxation Room. She’s wearing the jean shorts we bought on our first shopping trip and a ribbed black tank top. She has her white Converse on with the little ankle socks.
She looks perfect.
“Hi, Luce,” she says. I notice right away that she’s stopped calling me Lucille. The training is working. She gets it.
I sit down next to her and notice Bean and Claudia walking someone out of the spa area. It seems like I haven’t seen them in days—they’re always so busy working on things and not telling me what they’re doing.
Whatever. I don’t need them. I have my own project, and it’s actually more important. I’m helping Bevin. When she gets back to school in September, no one will even recognize her, and they’ll all be so amazed at how much she matured over the summer.
“So what are we doing today?” she asks me.
“That’s a good question.” I sit back on the couch and try to think of something. I need to start introducing Bevin to people. Hanging out with the Hebrew school kids was fine, but I don’t know them well enough to hang out with them all the time. And hanging out with me alone isn’t going to help her much when she ge
ts back to school in the fall. But Sunny is going to a minor league baseball game with Evan and his friends. I think Yamir is going too. And truthfully, I’m not sure it would be a good idea for Bevin to hang out with them again anyway, after her blurting-out episode. She’s better, but she’s not perfect yet.
I try to think about where other people from school hang out in the summer. A lot of kids are away at camp, but I’m not really friends with those people anyway.
Then I remember Annabelle Wilson and her friends, and how they love to hang out on the boardwalk, get hot dogs for lunch at Hotdogger & Co., and try to sneak into the rooftop pool at the Allegria.
They call themselves AGE because their names are Annabelle, Georgina, and Eve. And they are so totally obnoxious, but they’re perfect for Bevin’s training! Georgina is the only one in the group that I like. But she’s the kind of girl that everyone in every group likes.
“Go get a bathing suit, and meet me in front of the spa area,” I tell her.
“Should I change now?” she asks.
“No, just bring flip-flops, a bathing suit, and sunscreen in a bag.”
I run into the pharmacy office to find my bathing suit. Ever since I was little, I always kept an extra bathing suit at the pharmacy. You never know when you’re going to take a spontaneous trip to the beach. It’s just the way things work around here.
My mom and Anais are on speakerphone arguing with someone about their inspection forms, and Grandma’s ordering supplies online. I try to be as quiet as possible, shuffling through the desk drawers looking for my bathing suit, but everyone shushes me anyway.
And the bathing suit is nowhere to be found.
There’s only one thing I can do.
I tiptoe up the stairs to Bevin’s apartment and knock on the door. Bevin comes out with a gym bag slung over her shoulder.
“Bevin, I’m so sorry to do this, but can I borrow one of the bathing suits we bought at the mall the other day?” I ask her in my nicest voice.
“You want to borrow something of mine?” She sounds shocked.
“I can’t find my bathing suit.” I shrug. “And there’s no time to go back to my house and get a new one now, and there’s no one to give us a ride. And those suits we bought you are really cute.”
My Summer of Pink & Green Page 9
