“We could. How long is your break for?”
“About an hour. Once we hang up, I’m going to take a nap. I did a fight scene today and even the motions of trying to hit someone takes a toll.”
“Maybe you need to work out.”
“Haha, you’re funny,” I tell her. I’ve complained repeatedly that the filming schedule has messed up my exercise routine. In the house, I could lift weights and do cardio every day. I felt great, and I was probably in the best shape of my life. Being on set has ruined that. “Are you saying I’m weak?”
Joey laughs. “Not at all. You can easily carry me around the suite.”
“That’s because you’re usually attached to my dick and I don’t want to pull out.”
“Josh …” she warns. We tried the video sex thing the other day and I got caught jacking off by the production assistant. Apparently people don’t knock on set here and she caught me with my pants around my ankles, my hand moving fast up and down my shaft and my wife encouraging me via video chat. As if things couldn’t get any worse, the assistant didn’t even bother to leave the room, instead standing there in shock at what she was witnessing. Joey heard me yelling and she started yelling. It wasn’t good.
“I can always go into the bathroom,” I tell her, hoping she agrees. “Or you can get yourself off and I’ll watch.”
“You’ll just watch?”
I nod and she rolls her eyes.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You’re probably right. I can’t control myself when I’m with you.”
“Same here,” she says, taking a bite of whatever she’s eating. It stupidly makes me long to be that object. Shit, I think I need help. I’ve never been this attached to someone before. It can’t be healthy. I’d ask a friend or two, but most of mine are single, or getting divorced. I don’t want to know that these feelings I’m having will wear off, so maybe living in my magic bubble of bliss is what’s best for me.
I yawn and rub my hand down my face. The last thing I want to do is hang up with her, but sleep is a hot commodity when filming. The fresher I look, the better it is for me.
“Take a nap, Josh. I’ll be here when you get home.”
The word home hits hard. The fact that she’s calling our suite our home sends a jolt right to my heart. Maybe I’ve been worrying about nothing.
“I love you,” I tell her.
“I love you, too. Kick ass today.” She blows me a kiss that I return and we both hang up. As soon as I roll over and close my eyes the pounding on my door starts. I think about ignoring it, but the knocking becomes incessant.
“What?” I yell out, hoping that whoever is on the other side of the door will ask their question and go away. When they don’t say anything I close my eyes again, only for the knocking to start back up.
“You’re seriously pissing me off,” I yell as I get up. My trailer is small, taking only a few steps until I’m at the door. “What?” I shout as I fling it open, immediately regretting answering when I see who’s on the other side.
Jules stands there, shocked by my attitude. I don’t regret yelling at her because she shouldn’t even be here. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail, something I’ve never seen her do before, and it makes me wonder if she’s trying to emulate Joey’s look. She’s also lacking a lot of the make-up she usually wears. Aside from the hair and make-up, everything else is still Jules with ridiculous high heels and a trench coat. Red flags go off that whatever she’s wearing, or not wearing, under that coat needs to stay there.
“What do you want, Jules? I’m busy.” I stand in the doorway, blocking her view from seeing in the trailer. I want her to assume Joey is inside.
“Can I come in?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“We need to talk.”
“No we don’t. I’ve already told you, we’re done and I’ve moved on.” I’d flash her my wedding band, but I’ve taken it off for filming.
“I get that, Joshie, but we need to talk.” That’s when she opens her coat and everything around me stands still. Even being fully dressed there are things I can’t unsee and this is one of them. The Jules I’m used to is not standing in front of me. This new one is standing here with her normal skintight clothes on, but with the added feature of a protruding belly.
“Now can I come in?” she asks again, this time her voice is soft and pleading. I nod in shock and step aside, letting her walk into my rickety trailer. “I love what you’ve done to the place,” she says, laughing, as she walks around the square box. The trailer isn’t much, but while on set it’s mine. It serves as my sanctuary, a place where I can get away from it all.
Except now I want to run from it.
“Jules.” I try to get her attention, but her back is facing me. I’ve played this game with her before. She wants me to touch her, pull her to me, and beg her to tell me what’s bothering her. I won’t this time. I won’t do it.
After a minute, she gives up and turns to face me. I remain in my spot, near the door. If I need a quick escape this is my only option.
“Like I said, we need to talk.” Smiling, she rubs her hand over her belly. Everything from my throat to my stomach bounces, swells, and tries to rip through my body.
“I don’t see how that is any of my concern.” I nod toward her stomach.
“Oh, Josh, I think you know why I’m here.”
Nope. That is what I tell myself. I don’t and I refuse to believe this has anything to do with me.
Jules sits down and makes herself comfortable, although I suppose if she actually wore sensible shoes while carrying extra weight around she might fare better. She continues to run her hand over her belly as if it’s somehow soothing.
“What do you want, Jules?” I ask for the third time. This time she sets her steely gaze upon me, and smiles one of the most sinister grins I have ever seen in my life.
“You.”
“I’m married.”
“Doesn’t matter. Divorces are easy. Besides, we’re going to start a family. Surely your new wife will have an issue with you being tied to another woman for the rest of your life.”
“It’s not mine, Jules. We haven’t been together for months.”
She laughs as if she’s mocking me. “I’m almost six months along, you can do the math. I know you’re smart enough to figure it all out.”
I shake my head, unwilling to acknowledge that this is my fate. I don’t want children, even Joey knows this and has accepted it. Hell, being married is a stretch for me, but with Joey it’s been worth changing my beliefs.
“How come I’m just hearing about this now? Surely the tabloids would’ve picked up on what you’re trying to hide.”
“I’ve been staying at home, waiting for you to come back to me. I tried telling you after I found out, but you must’ve blocked my number. I get it, Joshie, I do. She’s new, exciting, and probably caters to you. But let’s be realistic here, it’s always been Josh and Jules, and now that we’re having a baby we can go back to the way things used to be.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Jules,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m in love with Joey and there’s no room for you in our lives.”
She brushes off my statement as if my words don’t mean anything. “I’m pregnant and you’re the father. I’m fairly certain that cements me in your life whether you and your precious reality TV wife want me there or not.”
Jules stands and walks over to me. My heart races with anticipation of what she might try. For years she’s been my weakness, my go-to when shit was hard and by my side when things were good. If I hadn’t met Joey, I’d probably be back to my on again off again bullshit with Jules.
“You don’t want to be like your father, do you, Josh? The absent dad who never paid attention to his son, until his son made a name for himself? You don’t want to be a father who never sees their child because your current wife doesn’t allow it? How much did you suffer as a child? Are you telling me that you’d do this to your o
wn flesh and blood?”
She has me by the balls, in a tight vise grip. Jules knows everything about my family and how much I hated growing up with absent parents, which is the main reason I don’t want children. Movie sets aren’t a place to raise a family and knowing my wife and child are home without me for months on end would kill me. The fact of the matter is, I’d have to be an absent father or quit my job and the latter isn’t going to happen. That’s one of the reasons why I think it’s best for me to never have children.
I swallow hard and refuse to look at Jules. All I can see is Joey, sitting on the couch while I deliver the news to her. I’ve told her that Jules won’t be a problem in our lives and I meant it. Seems to me that I’m a proven liar. Joey can’t hold this against me, though, because it happened before I met her.
“Here’s the address where I’m staying. You have my number. I don’t want things to get ugly, but the media is about to find out that we’re expecting.”
With that she pushes me out of the way and exits my trailer. Even though she doesn’t slam the door, I still jump when I hear it latch and rush to my small bathroom to expel the contents of my stomach. Everything I’ve worked for, everything that I’ve achieved with Joey is gone. I don’t care how forgiving or accepting she is, Jules has already ruined enough for Joey and this will be the defining moment.
After hanging up with Josh I finally decide to heed his words about getting out of the hotel and enjoying myself. It’s truly easier said than done, but I’m making an effort, even if the alligator pond freaks me the hell out.
Luckily Josh is picked up every day and taken to set so our rental car is free for me to use, otherwise I’d be hoofing it. Walking does sound better because it affords me the opportunity to stop and smell the roses, but it’s unsafe and the last thing I want to do is put myself in danger or upset Josh.
Parking along Main Street, I check out the cute little shops along the road. One is a bridal store that I linger outside the big glass window contemplating whether or not I should go in. I don’t know what I’m afraid of with having a real wedding with Josh. We’re already married and having a ceremony with our friends and family wouldn’t be that big of a deal, except I can’t wrap my head around it. Josh doesn’t have much in the means of family so why is it so important to have a big wedding? Surely a party would be enough. Maybe he doesn’t remember that I planned a wedding before. I was weeks away from getting married, only to have my heart ripped out of my chest. I had the perfect dress, flowers, and location. My honeymoon was planned and apartment ready to move into. Some wounds are hard to get over, but I get where he’s coming from. He wasn’t a part of that. He’s not the one who hurt me.
The door to the store opens and a young woman with her mother come out. In the young woman’s arm is a dress bag, but it’s her expression that catches me off guard. She’s beaming and it’s not an ordinary smile. By looking at her, you can tell she’s happy—that whatever she’s holding in her arms is part of her dream and her mother … well, her smile matches that of her daughters.
Maybe this is what Josh was talking about, the elation that comes with having a wedding. It’s something neither of experienced and something I’ve always dreamt of. I decide to go in and welcome the cool air inside the store. Actually, it’s a reprieve to be in air conditioning.
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“Hi,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “I was walking by and saw the store and thought I’d come in and look.”
“When’s your wedding?”
“We haven’t set a date yet.” I try to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.
“You’re about a six?”
“Sometimes a four.” I don’t tell her that when it’s my time of the month I can push an eight. Thankfully we’re not there yet.
“Have a look and let me know what you want to try on. Is it just you?”
I look around, wondering if people followed me in. I nod. “Like I said, this is a spur of the moment browsing session.”
The clerk seems to buy my excuse and lets me look through the gowns without being bothered. The first set that I come to are so intricate and heavy I can’t imagine that they’re at all comfortable. I think that’s what I’d want; something that’s comfortable yet drastically different from what I had before.
“Cinderella,” I mutter to myself.
“Oh, her dress is over here,” the sales clerk speaks up, causing me to jump. She takes my hand, as if we’re suddenly best friends, and pulls me toward the back of the store. Before my eyes a dress is pulled from the rack and set out before me.
“This is an off white version which I find a bit classier.”
I run my fingers over the beadwork and my hand down over the layers and layers of tulle. I can picture myself being spun around on the dance floor in this dress.
“May I try it on?”
“Of course.” She leads me to the dressing room, which is larger than most, and gives me privacy. Once I’ve stepped into the dress it’s like my world has shifted on its axis. “Let me fix the back for you.” She appears again, out of thin air, to clamp me into the dress before guiding me out to the pedestal so I can see myself in the wall of mirrors.
I gasp at the vision in front of me. My hair is already up with a few tendrils hanging down, framing my face. The make-up I’m wearing is natural and in soft hues, and my already tanned skin is the perfect tone to make the dress stand out.
“Your fiancé won’t be able to take his eyes off of you all night long.”
“He’s my husband, actually. We sort of eloped and now we’re planning a wedding.”
The clerk stands behind me, tugging the dress in places, making sure everything is lined up. “Wait, I know you.”
As my heart speeds up, I do the only thing I can think and continue to focus on the dress instead of meeting her gaze through the mirror. If I act like it’s no big deal, maybe she won’t make it one.
“You guys haven’t been in the news since you said yes during the Helen show. My friends and I thought maybe you changed your mind backstage.”
I shake my head and tell her that’s not the case.
“What brings you to Daphne?”
“We like the laid back life,” I tell her. I imagine people know that movies are filmed here, but maybe not. Either way, I’m not telling her that Josh is here working. The last thing I want is for him to be stalked.
“So you guys are getting married?”
“Again,” I tell her, afraid I’ve already said too much. I can’t take it back now, though. If she had recognized me earlier, maybe I’d have been a bit tighter lipped.
“Well I’m happy for you. I watched the show and was rooting for you guys the whole time. Between you and me, I’m so happy he dumped that harlot, Jules Maxwell. She’s never been anything but trouble for him.”
You and me both, I think, but I can’t say it. Even I know when it’s best not to comment on Jules. What I say about her in my suite is another story. So I smile softly and pretend to examine the dress a bit more by turning to see the side views.
“You’re very beautiful.”
“Thanks. I’ll take the dress.”
“You’ll be stunning. Let me get your measurements and we’ll have it back to you in six weeks.”
“Actually,” I say, grabbing her arm before she leaves, “can I just buy it today, as is? I don’t know when I’ll need it or where I’ll be.”
Her face falls. I’m sure she was thinking that her store would get some media attention. For all I know she would’ve had the media here when I came back to pick it up.
“Yes, of course. Go ahead and change and I’ll have it packaged up for you.”
Once she helps me out of the dress, I give it back to her. Her earlier cheeriness is gone, making me wonder if I’m right about her wanting some attention or whether it’s just my paranoia. After I’m out of the dressing room I head to the counter, lingering around because she’s with another client.
>
“I can ring you up.” Another clerk appears and starts typing in the computer. I give her all my information, using the address that Josh gave me. It belongs to his agent and he says he uses it all the time for all his personal information.
I hand over the credit card that Josh had rushed to the hotel. When he first handed it to me, my fingers danced along my name Joey Wilson. It’s a name I repeated so many times in the house because I only had ninety-days with it. The expiration date was set and it was a name that I’d never write or see in print.
Luckily for me, Josh changed all of that.
The clerk eyes me and I know she’s putting the pieces together. I fiddle with my phone, looking disinterested, and wait for the receipt to print out.
“Sign here, Mrs. Wilson.”
I smile kindly and sign my name. It’s the first time I’m doing so and I hold the pen and paper slightly longer than necessary, trying to capture the moment. If I weren’t in a dress store, I’d be taking a picture of this as a memory.
This new clerk comes around the front of the desk and hands me my dress. It’s heavy, but going to be worth it.
“Thank you,” I tell her. She smiles and wishes me good luck.
Good luck? Isn’t that something you wish someone when they’re trying to win a prize or a game? Wouldn’t best wishes be better in my case?
I look over my shoulder at the lady who helped me, but she’s deep in conversation with another bride-to-be. Apparently my status as Josh Wilson’s wife doesn’t mean much to her. I’m not naïve in how things work, but I do know she should be paying attention to me.
As soon as I step out of the store, there’s a swarm of people that come rushing my way. In an instant, my heart is beating faster and my eyes are calculating the distance from where I am to my car. It’s too far and I’ll never make it in time.
My name is called out as I start down the street, but I ignore them. I’m pushed, shoved, and people step in front of me with flashing cameras and tape recorders. Questions are hurled at me from every direction.
Twisted Reality (Blind Reality #2) Page 6
