"I think we should start a betting pool," Gregory said as he served up the giant-sized hamburgers and foot-long hotdogs. "I say July 11th."
"The 9th," said Mary Ann.
"2001," said the beleaguered Dave to everyone's amusement.
"Today," said Diana, winking at Peggy.
"Ridiculous," said Gregory, handing her a cheeseburger supreme with the works. "You haven't gone through three false alarms. I'm telling you, she isn't even close."
"Believe me, I know when a woman is due," said Mary Ann, suddenly the loyal employee, "and Peggy isn't there yet. I had one of my own and watched my four sisters through eleven pregnancies. The 12th, the earliest."
"Before midnight," Diana said calmly.
"Forget it," said Gregory.
"That's crazy," said Mary Ann.
"I'll never become a father," said Dave.
"I think it's time," said Peggy.
The only sound was the crunch of corn on the cob being devoured by Joey and the curly-haired twins.
"Very funny," said Dave after a long and uneasy silence. "You've made your point. A betting pool was a pretty tacky idea."
"I'm serious, Davey. It's time."
"How far apart are the pains?" Diana asked, putting her plate down at the edge of the swimming pool and approaching Peggy.
"Seven minutes and -- " Peggy stopped and Gregory watched, horrified, as her eyes closed and her face contorted with pain. This was a far cry from watching Daisy deliver her pups and he suddenly felt foolish and unnecessary in the face of such pure drama.
"Ride it out," Diana instructed Peggy, all business. "Time the contractions," she ordered Dave.
"This has happened before," poor Dave said, fumbling through his pockets for his stopwatch. "This can't be the real thing."
"It's the real thing," Diana said as Peggy rode out another contraction. "Her water just broke."
"Omigod," said Dave, sinking back into his chair, the wretched shell of the man he'd once been. "We're going to have a baby."
Chapter Nine
Twenty minutes later they were once again gathered on the patio, eating their delayed supper. Mary Ann had pulled the float from the swimming pool and was now using it as an inflatable cushion. Joey sat at the edge of the pool, his feet dangling into the water. The twins were seated at their own little table and chairs that Gregory carted out from the kitchen, to their squeals of delight. The good doctor, however, was seated on the ground next to the barbecue with plates of food balanced on his powerful thighs.
Diana had a wonderful view of said thighs for she was seated on the back step, midway between the twins and the barbecue, and she didn't know which was the more delicious: her tomato and mozzarella salad or Gregory Stewart. Mary Ann and Gregory were involved in a lively debate on the relative merits of the New York Yankees vs. the New York Mets while Diana merely nodded and feasted on the sight of his beautifully muscular body in repose.
It took Joey to bring them back to the topic that was -- or should have been -- on everybody's mind.
"How long does it take to have a baby?" he piped up, reaching for an ear of roasted corn.
"Depends," said Mary Ann. "Your Aunt Susie had Denise by the time Uncle Frankie backed the car out of the garage."
"My father would have loved that," said Diana. "Talk about efficiency."
Gregory laughed and passed Joey the salt and pepper. "How about you, MA? How long did this guy here keep you waiting?"
Mary Ann groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Twenty-seven hours, eighteen minutes and forty-five seconds -- not that I was counting, you understand."
Diana winced in sympathy. "You're a brave woman, Mary Ann."
Mary Ann gave Diana her first real smile of the day. "Bravery had nothing to do with it. If I'd had my way, I would have grabbed my bathrobe and headed for the hills."
"Hey, Ma!" Joey looked up from his food. "You said I was worth the trouble."
"Oh, yeah?" Mary Ann winked at Diana and Gregory. "Do you have it in writing?" She tempered her words with a tug at the bill of Joey's Yankees cap.
"Can I eat my burger on the beach steps?" Joey asked, grabbing another pickle from the bowl set out on the girls' table.
Mary Ann considered his request. "You won't disappear on me like you did at your cousin's Memorial Day party?"
He shook his head vigorously. "I promise. Just the steps, only halfway down."
"All right," Mary Ann said, "but your bottom better stay in contact with those stairs or you're in trouble, mister."
"Aw-right!" With a grin Joey leaped to his feet, then headed across the backyard toward the beach steps, carrying a plate of food and a can of Pepsi.
"Me! Me!" cried the twins, eager to follow their brand new friend. "Beach!"
"Not this time," said Diana. "You stay here with the grownups."
"No!" cried Jenny, stomping one bare foot down hard on the tiles around the pool. "Me too!"
"Sorry, honey. I said no."
"Yes!" Kath pushed her lower lip out defiantly in imitation of her twin. "Yes!"
The one thing Diana wanted to avoid was being tricked into a yes/no debate with a pair of cranky two year olds. The possibility of losing the battle was too humiliating to even consider.
"Why don't you finish your supper," she coaxed. "Later on we'll have watermelon." Not above bribery, she popped a perfect red cherry tomato onto each of their plates while they eyed their food with outraged suspicion.
"Don't like." Kath pushed the tomato around with her finger. "Bad!"
Jenny spit a piece of hot dog back onto her plate. "Bad!"
Then, as if on cue, the two began to cry at the top of their toddlers' lungs.
"What did I do?" Diana looked over at Mary Ann who'd been watching the whole thing with an air of maternal amusement. "Is this what they mean by the terrible two's?"
"At least you get to give them back when the month is up."
"I've never seen them like this," Diana said as both girls tipped their paper plates onto their laps and shrieked even louder. "It's like Jekyll and Hyde in duplicate."
"Welcome to the wide world of motherhood," Mary Ann said as Gregory -- the traitor -- beat a hasty retreat for the beach steps and male companionship. "Maybe they need changing."
"They're pretty good about letting me know what they want. They used the potty just before Dave and Peggy left."
"You'd be surprised how quickly toilet training can go out the window." Mary Ann put down her plate of food then scooped the squalling Kath into her arms to check the diaper. "Bingo. She needs changing."
Diana picked up a kicking Jenny then struggled to do the same. "I can't believe it. So does she." She grimaced at the streaks of ketchup staining the child's t-shirt. "In fact, they need changing from the inside out. They look like they were rolling around in a condiment tray." Rising to her feet, she held out her hand for Kath. "Come on, girls. We have a little work ahead of us."
Mary Ann stood up with Kath still in her arms. "I'll help you."
"No -- I mean, that's very nice of you, but you're a guest. The last thing you need is diaper duty."
"I'd enjoy it."
Diana arched a brow. "You don't expect me to believe that, do you?"
"Really," said Mary Ann with an embarrassed laugh. "I'd love to fuss over a little girl." She hesitated, then met Diana's eyes. "That is, if you don't mind."
"I'd welcome some expert help. Come on," she said as she hoisted Jenny into her arms. "We're short on furniture inside but long on diapers."
Mary Ann rolled her eyes heavenward. "The story of my life."
Diana led the way up the back staircase to the master bedroom. "The main bathroom is through here," she tossed over her shoulder as she switched on the light. "It's a double vanity. We'll just -- " She stopped in mid-sentence as she realized Mary Ann, with Kath in her arms, was rooted to the middle of the floor.
"My God!" the red-haired woman breathed. "Tell me I'm hallucinating."
; "You're not hallucinating."
"Is that a bed or a high-rise apartment?"
"It's a bed," Diana said, grinning at the expression on Mary Ann's freckled face. "Pretty incredible, isn't it?"
Mary Ann approached the swagged and gilt-trimmed bed with the caution usually saved for midnight trips to darkened basements. She jiggled the ladder leading up to the monster mattress. "Do you get nose bleeds up there?"
"Not yet, but thank God I'm not afraid of heights."
The slot machine in the bathroom made Mary Ann roar with laughter and before long even the twins had been jollied out of their temper tantrums and were soon giggling right along with the two women.
"I like your style," said Mary Ann as Diana fastened a diaper around Jenny's chubby bottom. "You're a downright natural at diaper duty."
Diana inclined her head graciously. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"I meant it as one." Mary Ann patted baby powder on Kath's rear then fixed the diaper in place. "Any plans on having one of your own?"
"Detailed plans. All beginning Labor Day."
Mary Ann's gaze drifted toward Diana's middle then hurriedly bounced up to meet her eyes. "You're pregnant?"
"Not yet, but I will be."
"On Labor Day?"
"In a way. Starting on Labor Day I'm plunging back into the dating world with a goal of an engagement by New Year's Eve." Mary Ann deftly pulled a pair of bright yellow overalls onto Kath's wiggling body. "Do you always set deadlines for yourself?"
"I live for deadlines," Diana said, struggling to get Jenny's legs into her apple red pants. "I intend to be married by this time next year."
"You're kidding!" Mary Ann looked at Diana curiously. "You are kidding, aren't you?"
"You sound just like my sister Paula did when I told her." She tucked Jenny's clean t-shirt into the elastic waistband of the pants.
"You're crazy. Nobody can plan things like that."
"I found my first husband pretty easily; I should be able to find another without too much trouble."
"Good luck," Mary Ann said, smoothing Kath's curls off the toddler's forehead. "It's a cold, cold world out there and good men are at a premium."
"I know," Diana said, undeterred by the woman's pessimism. "But I believe the right one's out there and I'm going to find him."
"Optimists," said Mary Ann, with a rueful shake of her head. "Your type amazes me. Didn't anyone ever tell you that you don't get everything you want in life?"
"A little positive thinking never hurt anyone," Diana offered gently.
"Let me tell you, it's easier on the heart to join a convent."
Diana gestured toward the twins who were making faces at each other in the vanity mirror. "Quite a compensation for risking your heart."
Mary Ann nodded but Diana could see the skepticism in her blue eyes.
"You don't know the half of it," the other woman said softly.
Impulsively Diana reached over and patted Mary Ann's forearm. "Joey's a great kid. You should be very proud of him."
"You do know he has a major league-sized crush on you, don't you?"
"I suspected as much."
"I hope he didn't make a pest of himself down on the beach."
"He's a dear," Diana said. "Clever and funny and very sweet." She wanted to acknowledge that she knew about Joey's illness, but the words wouldn't come.
"Kids," said Mary Ann as Kath wrapped her arms around the woman's neck and planted a noisy kiss upon her cheek. "Heartbreak, pain, and a permanent drain on your bank balance. Change your mind while there's still time."
Jenny, not to be outdone by her sister, threw herself into Diana's arms and gave her a wet and sloppy kiss on the chin. Her already sentimental heart turned to mush.
"Just tell me one thing," she said, meeting Mary Ann's gaze. "Would you do it all again?"
Mary Ann considered the question for an endless moment. "Yes," she said at last, "I believe I would."
Diana shivered as a glimpse of reality crowded in on her dream. I'll be one of the lucky ones, she vowed silently as they finished dressing her nieces. Her whole life had been blessed by the hand of Lady Luck. Even her divorce had been her decision, a result of her desire for a career and not a child. She'd been wrong to think it an either/or proposition. Everywhere she looked, women were combining marriage and career. Everywhere she looked, women her age and older were having babies. She had to trust that Lady Luck, in her infinite variety, wouldn't fail her now.
"You know," said Mary Ann, "I didn't think I would like you, but I do."
"I knew I didn't like you," said Diana, "but I was wrong."
Mary Ann gestured toward the opulent Gull Cottage surroundings and sighed wistfully. "You have everything I always wanted: success, money, great legs. I'm green with envy."
"Don't be," said Diana, pressing a kiss atop Jenny's curly blonde hair. "You have Joey. That's better than anything I can think of."
#
Gregory and Joey sat on the bottom step, watching the setting sun turn the Atlantic into liquid flame. Farther down the beach, a campfire glowed red in the gathering darkness and the scent of hickory mingled with the tang of salt in the air. A few seagulls stood sentinel along the shoreline and every now and again one would follow the tide back out in search of food. At a moment like this it was easy to forget the clog of humanity that blanketed the Hamptons every summer, filling the country air with the smell of exhaust and the sound of city talk and city problems and city dreams.
"How long does it take to change diapers?" Joey asked, picking up a small rock and flinging it toward the ocean a few hundred yards away. "They've been gone a long time."
Gregory peered at his watch in the dusky light. "Not that long, pal. My company's not good enough for you anymore?"
Joey looked down at his bare toes peeking out from the heavy, damp sand. "I thought they'd be back sooner than this."
"Miss your mom, do you?"
The boy shrugged noncommittally.
Gregory grinned. "Why is it I think you kind of miss Diana?" Who could blame the kid? Gregory kind of missed her himself and she'd only be gone fifteen minutes.
"She's okay." Joey continued to search through the sand for rocks to toss.
"Nothing wrong with thinking a lady is okay."
"You better not tell anybody."
"Who, me? You know better than that, pal. It's our secret." Along with the fact that I find her pretty okay myself.
The boy turned and looked over at Gregory. "Do you think she likes me?"
"What's not to like?" Gregory countered, tugging at the bill of Joey's baseball cap. "You're a good kid."
"I don't want to be a kid."
"Afraid you don't have much choice for the moment."
"Being a kid stinks."
"Don't worry. It doesn't last forever. You'll be paying taxes soon enough."
Laughter floated toward them from up the beach, tinkling like the wind chimes hanging over the patio. "Do you like my mom?" Joey asked.
Strange question. "Very much." He waited a beat, then: "Why do you ask?"
"You know what I mean," the boy persisted. "Do you like her?"
"You mean the way a man likes a woman?"
"Yeah," Joey mumbled. "More than the way you like a friend."
Why tonight, Joey? Couldn't you pick another night for this? He wanted to think about Diana, think about the way the sunlight sparkled on her golden hair, think about the sweet inward curve of her waist and the long and luscious length of leg exposed by her shorts.
"Do you like her that way?" Joey persisted.
"I love your mom as a friend, pal, but not as a girlfriend. Do you understand what I mean?"
The boy shrugged his thin shoulders. "I guess."
He had respect and admiration and a deep, abiding affection for Mary Ann, but nowhere in that mixture was the intangible chemical reaction that made the difference between the sexes infinitely appealing. The chemical reaction that had been there for him t
he first moment he laid eyes on Diana. "What made you ask?"
Joey was his mother's son and his answer was as direct as one of Mary Ann's barbs. "I thought if you married my mom, you could stay here."
"You mean, not go away?"
"Yeah...something like that."
He draped an arm around the boy, feeling the bones so palpable beneath the skin. "I'm not going away forever, you know. Do you think I'd let Dave and Charlie take over the hospital? They'd have Daisy and her pups running the place. I'll be back by Christmas."
"That's a long time from now."
"Not when you get to be my age, it's not."
"It is when you're my age," Joey retorted.
"I have to go, Joey. You understand, don't you?"
Joey said nothing, his lower lip set in a stubborn position.
"I've waited a long time, kid. I owe it to myself." He tugged at the bill of Joey's baseball cap, fighting down a wave of pure, unadulterated sentimentality. "One day you'll understand."
"No, I won't," said Joey. "I think you're running away."
"You're right," said Gregory. "That's exactly what I'm going to do and, if you're my friend, you'll try to understand."
Joey turned and met Gregory's eyes. "I'm your friend," he said slowly, "but I don't think I'm gonna understand."
"Will you give it a try?"
"Yeah," muttered Joey. "But I'm not making any promises."
"Deal?" Gregory extended his hand.
"Deal." Joey picked up a stone and tossed it toward the water. "Greg?"
"What, Joey?"
"I still say it stinks."
Gregory's laughter melted into the night air. "So do I, kid," he said after a moment. "At the moment, so do I."
Chapter Ten
"I thought they'd never leave," Gregory said as the Marinos' Hyundai disappeared around a bend in the driveway a few hours later. "I hate people who wear out their welcome."
How on earth had it happened? Diana had disappeared inside the house to make coffee and when she came back out onto the patio, the Marinos were ready to leave.
Diana wheeled and headed back toward the house. "I don't understand it." She glanced over her shoulder as she crossed the foyer with him hard on her heels. "You must have done something to offend them."
Mother Knows Best Page 10
