by Erin Trejo
“Goddamn.” I grab around her waist and pull her up without pulling out of her. I keep my dick in place as her back rests against my chest. We’re both breathless and sated. I kiss the side of her neck as sighs contently.
“I missed you,” I tell her. Ash turns her head and looks over her shoulder at me.
“I missed you too. I hate that this is tearing us apart,” she admits. I slowly pull out of her and turn her in my arms.
“I know it’s hard, Ash. I don’t mean to push you either. I just want what’s best for J.” She smiles and nods her head. I lean in, kissing her gently.
When I pull back, I look her in the eyes.
“I mean it. I don’t want you to go. If you’re in, then that’s where I need you, Ash. The last few days have been shitty without you here.” Ash lays her head on my chest, and I wrap my arm around her tighter.
“I’m just scared, Tic. I’m afraid that I won’t be enough for you two.”
I press my lips into the top of her head and sigh. “You’re more than enough. I don’t deserve you, Ash, but God do I want you. I know I’ve been a bastard toward you, and I’m sorry. All I want is to get this over with and move on. Me, you, and Jameson.”
Ash pulls back and beams up at me. “You mean it?” she asks softly with her eyes shimmering in the light.
“Yeah. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
“Then I’m in.” She smiles and my heart leaps.
Chapter 19
Ashley
“Ok. So, remember, don’t go with anyone you don’t know, and what do you do if a stranger approaches you?” I’m kneeling in front of J on the sidewalk at the school. My stomach is in knots as Tic stands next to me laughing. I don’t think this is funny, though.
“Run and tell an adult,” Jameson says so sure of himself.
“That’s right. Are you ready?” I ask. Jameson nods his head rapidly, but I don’t think I’m ready for this. He’s going to kindergarten. Tic never put him in preschool, so this is his first time being without someone from the club and going to school.
“Ok, little man. It’s time to go in,” Tic tells him. Jameson smiles like crazy but I don’t let go of his hand. I don’t know if I can.
“Babe, he’s gotta go,” Tic says reaching for me.
Jameson laughs before kissing my cheek, “I’ll be fine. I promise.” I release his little hand and stand up watching him run to his teacher with his little backpack on his back. Tic puts his arm around me, holding me tightly but I still feel like I’m going to cry.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I pout.
Tic chuckles before saying, “He’s ready. He’ll be fine.” I elbow him in the ribs before he leads me back to the car.
“What am I supposed to do with my day now?” I whine. I’ve become so used to having Jameson around all the time that I have no clue what else to do.
“I can think of a few things,” Tic says, walking me backward until I slam into the side of the car. His lips claim mine the way they always do, and I let him. He grinds against me until we hear kids laughing and he pulls away. “Not the best place for that.” His smile is infectious.
The last few weeks have been fairly calm for everyone. There has been no sign of Dana but Mystic has been keeping tabs on the MC they think she is in with. It doesn’t make me feel any better knowing that she’s out there somewhere.
“Where’s your head?” Tic asks as we climb into the car.
“I don’t like the not knowing, Tic. It makes me nervous.”
He slides across the front seat and grabs my hand in his. “I know it does, darlin’ but we are keepin’ track of them. I won’t let her get him.”
I nod my head because I know what he’s saying is true. Jameson means the world to Tic. I’ve never met a man that has cared so much for his child.
“I know. I just hate it,” I mumble.
“I do, too. Let’s go back to the clubhouse and see what Mystic has for us today, yeah?” His voice has softened as I nod my head. He leans closer, pressing his lips to my cheek before moving back into his seat. It’s strange to see him in a car. It’s sweet.
“I don’t like him being here alone,” I mumble under my breath. I pull out and drive toward the clubhouse as Tic chuckles.
“He ain’t alone, Ash. The whole school is here, and I’m pretty sure I made it clear to that teacher that no one was to pick him up but us.” He’s right. He did say that and he made very sure that she heard him.
The drive to the clubhouse is silent. I get lost in my own thoughts of Jameson being at school. Anything could happen to him. She could show up. The club could show up there.
We pull into the parking lot and I kill the engine when Tic jumps out. I stay seated letting it all run through my head when he whips the door open.
“Out and stop thinkin’,” he says.
It’s not that easy. I climb out as I mumble, “I don’t know how this isn’t bothering you more.”
Tic grabs me, pulling me against him. “Babe, he’s only at school. It isn’t like he got married and moved away.”
I cock my head to the side and stare at him, ready to kick his ass if need be.
“Not funny, Tic.” I can’t say anything else, his lips are on mine. He kisses me hard and rough and my body comes alive.
“Calm down, Ash. I mean it, everything’s okay,” he says once more when I hear Blu.
“Except it’s not.” We both turn to look at him. His face is pale and he looks pissed.
“She was in your house, Son.”
I shake my head. That can’t be happening.
“When?” Tic growls.
“Last night when you were here. We didn’t check your footage ‘til this mornin’.” Blu crosses his arms over his chest.
I glare at Tic. See, I knew letting J go to school wasn’t a good idea! “Can we go get him now?” I snap.
The two of them look at me but Tic shakes his head. “He’s safe there. They won’t let her get him.” His gaze flicks back to Blu. “I’m goin’ to check the house. Watch her.”
I’m about to protest, but Tic doesn’t even look my way. He storms past me and straight toward his bike.
“Come on. I’ll get you breakfast.” Blu throws his arm around my shoulder and leads me inside.
Chapter 20
Tic
She was in my motherfucking house. Of all the places she could have gone, and she was in mine. I strived to make that place a home for Jameson. When he was first born we lived at the clubhouse. That’s the only place I wanted to be, but when he was one, I moved him into the house. I wanted him to have something normal. Or as normal as it could be.
I drive as fast as I can with my heart in my stomach. It would be a shitty day if I had to kill Jameson’s real mom. Not that I give a shit. She’s the last person I give a shit about. When I pull into the driveway, I don’t see any signs of her or the guys she’s been hanging with. I park my bike and climb off. With my keys in hand, I head toward the door when I see it’s cracked open. That bitch! I step closer, pulling the gun from the back of my jeans before stepping inside. My body tenses. If she’s here, I will not hesitate to kill her. I will shoot first and ask questions later.
“Dana, don’t make me kill you,” I announce as I walk into the living room. I hear a small laugh behind me. When I turn to face the noise, I feel a prick in my neck. Within seconds my arms become heavy, my gun falling to the ground. I’m not far behind it. I hit the floor hard but I can’t move.
“I don’t like threats.”
I look up through my glossy eyes at her.
“What did you do?” I manage to ask. My breathing feels labored, my head is swimming. Dana stands there smiling down at me.
“I warned your little girlfriend. She didn’t listen to me. I’m taking back what’s mine, Tic. You and Jameson are mine,” she says just as if she’s always been here.
“You didn’t want him. Why now?” I ask, my words slow and difficult to get out
. My lids are getting heavier by the second.
“I saw how happy you were. I want it. I want you back. You will give me what I want if you ever want to see him again,” she warns me.
She can’t get to him. Can she?
“Oh I see the look. I can get him, Tic. I am his mother, after all.”
I try to shake my head but I can’t move.
“Just tell me.” I’m losing it. I’m going to pass out at any second. “What you want, Dana.”
“I’m going to have someone look after Jameson until me and you get the ‘us’ part worked out. Then I will bring him home.”
Like hell she will! She can’t take my son away from me.
“You can’t.” My voice is barely coming out now. What the fuck did she give me? I will snap her fucking neck when this is all over with.
“I can. I did. We need to work on our lives together, Tic. When that bitch shows up, you will send her away.” She looks at her nails as she speaks. She has lost her fucking mind.
“Dana.” I try to warn her. It doesn’t work. Her eyes glisten with hate. For me? Why? I didn’t leave her, she left me.
“Shh. Just rest now, Tic. It will all make sense soon.”
I see her flick her wrist at someone I can’t see before I’m lifted from the floor, although I don’t know how. I feel like I’m loaded down with lead. I can’t move my arms or legs, and my eyes are slowly closing. The world around me is slowly slipping away, and I fear that Jameson and Ashley are going to go with it. I can’t let that happen. I have to fight back but how?
As everything starts to fade from sight, the image of Ashley’s face comes into view. The look she had when she said she was falling in love with me. The one she had when we dropped J off at school this morning. She’s everything I could have hoped for and more, and now I may be losing her to this crazy bitch. I won’t let that happen. I don’t care what I have to do or how I have to do it. I won’t let her ruin my life for a second time.
Chapter 21
Ashley
“This is crazy. I’m going over there.” I stomp my foot but Declan just grins like a fool shaking his head. I want to snap. I want to lose my cool but that isn’t going to do any good.
“Mayhem is headin’ over there with Dread. They’ll handle whatever it is,” he tells me.
I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. Brooke laughs and so does Blu. I don’t think this shit is funny. Not in the slightest. I saw the rage and anger in him. I know what he’ll do to her if she comes back there. Jameson needs his dad, and as much as I hate to admit it, I need him too. Tic has claimed a spot inside of my chest that I can’t let go of. I don’t want to. He’s special to me for more reasons than one.
The door opens and my heart leaps, but it isn’t Tic who walks in. I sigh and look away when another guy strolls in.
“What are you doin’ here?” Blu asks stepping around us to go greet the man.
“Nothin’. Took a ride to check some shit out, figured I’d stop by. What’s goin’ on?” the man asks, looking around the room and at all of us.
“Tic’s ex has been comin’ around. Was in his house, brother. He went to check it out and never called in. Mayhem and Dread are headed out there.” The man’s face reddens as his fists ball at his sides.
I’ve never really sat back and looked at all these guys. I know they are all badasses. I know they all care for each other too, but this is different. Watching this one is different. He doesn’t even know the extent of what’s happening, but I can still see the anger in his eyes. It’s really interesting to see that come to light in a time like this.
“What the fuck is she doin’ here?” he growls.
“This is Ash, Tic’s old lady.” Blu interrupts the man’s little rant. His eyes come to meet mine, and I feel a little lost. I don’t know him, I don’t know anything about him yet the look in his eyes tells me that everything will be fine. The man swallows hard, his body slowly relaxing before he steps closer to me with his hand extended.
“I’m Ruger. Don’t worry about your man, we got this.” I take his hand as I let his words slowly seep through me. My man. It’s a strange thing to hear but it feels right.
“Thank you,” I say softly. Brooke appears at my side, her arm wrapping around my waist when Blu’s phone rings. I watch as he answers and barks out a bunch of words but my mind is a buzzing mess. Should I go get Jameson from school? Should I let him stay there so he isn’t involved in all of this? I don’t even know what all of this is at the moment and it’s really starting to weigh on me.
“Fuck!” Blu roars, throwing his phone across the room. I jump and so does Brooke. This can’t be good.
“Church. Now!” He snaps. I watch the guys share a glance before walking toward the office, Blu right behind them.
“What’s going on?” I ask following him. I know I’m not supposed to, but he can’t just walk away and not tell me anything. I need to know what’s happening. Panic takes over when Blu turns to look down at me. My body begins to tremble.
“She has men with her. He’s fucked up. I dunno if he was usin’ again or what, but he is high as fuck.” I shake my head not wanting to believe that. Tic wasn’t doing drugs.
“She did it, Blu. She had to of. He wasn’t doing drugs,” I snap. Blu watches me for a second running his hand through his hair.
“You would know best. He spends a lot of time with you.” His hand lands on my shoulder as I nod my head.
“I’m scared, Blu. I’ve never been scared in my life, not like this.” It’s true. There’s something off in my chest and I don’t like the feeling I have.
“I know, sweetheart but we’ll handle this. Whatever the fuck is goin’ on, we’ll take care of it.”
I nod my head and watch Blu and the guys head into the office before I slowly make my way back into the main room. My heart already feels heavy, but when I see Jameson’s truck on the floor I lose it. I break into tears and fall to my knees. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to do this or what to feel. Everything between Tic and I has happened so fast and now I feel like it’s all being ripped away from me.
Hands rest on my back, but they aren’t Brooke’s. I turn my head and look up to see Kenderly and Prim both standing next to me.
“I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been with you. I’m glad that he has you, Ashley,” Kenderly’s sweet voice says. I know it’s meant to be soothing, but it isn’t. It hurts worse because Kenderly knows him, and I’ve seen the way she looks at him. I never bring I up because I know they are close and have been for years, but I can’t help but wonder if she feels more for him than she’s let on. I wonder if she sees him as more than just a friend. Not that Tic has ever seemed to notice, but I do. She grew up with him, and how can she not – he’s Tic.
As much as I don’t want to accept the comfort, when the tears fall faster, she drops down and I let her pull me into her arms. Putting my suspicions and feelings aside, I find solace in her embrace.
“I know it’s weird, but I love him, Kenderly.” I sob into her shirt.
“I know you do. He’ll be ok. The guys will work it out. They always do,” she reassures me, my pain seemingly echoed in her eyes. I don’t know that anymore. I don’t know anything at all.
Chapter 22
Tic
My head fucking swims. I feel sick to my stomach. Every bone in my body aches. My arms are limp and I can’t sit up. I don’t know how long I’ve laid here, but I know it’s more than a day. Am I even still in my house?
“You’re awake. You slept right through the little issue with your brother.” Dana rolls her eyes as she sits on the bed next to me. Mayhem was here? What the hell is she giving me?
“What the fuck did you do?” I growl, but that isn’t how it comes out. It’s gravely. My throat is dry as fuck, and my tongue feels like it’s ten times the size it should be.
“Warned him. Got rid of him,” she says flipping her hand through the air as if it’s nothing.
�
�Where’s my son?” I ask trying to force my head off the pillow with no luck.
“Our son is being taken care of. Don’t worry about him right now. Worry about us, Tic.” Dana shifts so that she’s facing me. Her hands slowly move up my thighs and against my mind, my dick responds. I’m pissed. At myself for letting this shit happen. At her for doing whatever the hell she thinks it is she’s doing. This is wrong and I know it, but I can’t seem to stop myself from responding to her.
“Why are you doin’ all this? You left, Dana,” I grumble. The room spins and I hate that feeling. It’s one I haven’t felt in years. Not since I stopped using.
“I watched you, you know. You were a wreck when I left.” Her words mean nothing. I know what I felt when she left. I was a mess from coming off all the goddamn drugs and finding my own way with a newborn son. Dana’s hands pull at my waistband, pulling the sweatpants down my thighs. Her eyes blaze with hunger, but I don’t want her.
“I had a kid to take care of. Any decent person would be a wreck tryin’ to get their life together.” I watch her through my heavy lids as she strokes my dick in her hand. The sad part of all of this? I don’t feel a fucking a thing. Not desire. Not the urge to take her. I feel nothing. Whatever the fuck she’s been pumping into my veins is doing its job.
“You missed me, didn’t you? I mean at first. Then those whores came into your life. Did you think I didn’t see how many of them you brought around our little boy?” she asks before sliding her lips over the tip of my dick, and still I feel nothing.
“My little boy. What you are gainin’ out of this? I’ll never love you, Dana. I never did. You were a warm pussy to stick my dick in. Not much different than those whores,” I grunt. This is bullshit. What the hell is she trying to do here? I want no part of her little games that she’s playing.
Dana’s head bobs as she takes the full length of my dick in her mouth. I watch her, wondering what the fuck has to be running through her head when I hear the gasp. My heart kicks up a notch when I look toward the door. I may not be in my right mind here and I may not be able to feel a goddamn thing, but I know my heart nearly exploded when I heard that gasp.
