‘No.’
Hugh did, and he went outside and spoke to Anton for a couple of moments before coming back to Emily.
‘We’re going to get her ready now,’ Lydia said, and Hugh stepped back as they checked her ID and allergies and all the million things they had to before she went under anaesthetic.
And it was then, in that moment, that he got the glimmer he had done the right thing about Gina.
Even if he was wrong, he just couldn’t turn a blind eye any more.
And he’d just have to wear it if he was loathed for reporting her.
He could not live with himself if anything happened to a patient.
He looked at Emily and knew it should have been Gina on this morning.
Yes, it sucked big time, but he’d done the right thing.
‘Can I have two minutes?’ Hugh asked, as Raymond and Lydia arrived to take her up, and he didn’t wait for an answer, just shooed everyone out.
‘Emily.’ He snapped her out of her stupor. ‘We’ll sort this out.’
‘Yeah.’
‘I mean it, you’re not to worry.’
‘I’m not worried...’ She put a hand up to his lovely, lovely face and stared into his gorgeous green eyes. ‘Give me a kiss for luck.’
‘You lush...’ Hugh said.
‘Please.’
‘No,’ Hugh said, ‘because then you’ll accuse me later of taking advantage.’ But he kissed his fingers and pressed them to her mouth. ‘You’ll be fine.’
She would be, Hugh told himself as the hordes then descended.
For Emily it all passed in a bit of a blur. She stared up at the ceiling of a very familiar room. It looked different from this angle.
‘We meet again.’ Rory smiled. ‘I’m fantastic, remember, so you have nothing to worry about.’
‘I never said you were fantastic. I tell the patients you’re amazing,’ Emily said, and then Miriam’s face came into focus.
‘I’m resigning,’ Emily said, as her boss smiled down at her. ‘I was going to resign anyway because I hate Accident and Emergency but there’s no way I’m going back there now.’
‘We’ll talk soon.’ Miriam continued to smile as a very drugged Emily started to tell her exactly what she thought of internal rotation.
‘You’ll feel better soon, Emily,’ Miriam said, and Emily fought to get across her point.
‘You don’t...’
Emily didn’t finish; she was out for the count.
‘Not a happy camper,’ Rory said to Miriam.
‘It would seem that way.’
* * *
A perk of the job was that he was there when she came round in recovery.
‘Dad!’ Emily was very surprised to see him. She didn’t have a clue where she was.
‘Mum’s on her way,’ came a voice, and she could see Alex talking to Hugh.
That’s right, she’d had an operation.
Oh, God, she was pregnant.
Maybe.
‘We’ve made sure you get your own room.’ Louise drifted into focus as Emily was wheeled down to the ward. ‘Give you some privacy.’
There was no such thing as privacy when you worked here, though.
Her mum flew straight down from Scotland and though she was touched that they’d both come it was a terrible strain having both Mum and Dad in the same room, and a huge relief when at eight that night they left.
‘Not now,’ Emily said a little while later, when Hugh walked in.
‘I know,’ Hugh said. ‘I’m heading home. I just wanted to see that you were okay.’
‘Well, I am.’
‘Emily—’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘Fair enough,’ Hugh said. ‘Here’s your phone.’
Hugh walked out and past the cool stares of the ward staff and then to the on-call room, where he’d decided to stay for the night. He knew she’d be okay, he just wanted to be sure.
In a way it was a relief that she didn’t want to speak just yet because, though worried, Hugh was still prickling from her accusations the other night.
Then his phone went off and Hugh took a breath before answering it.
Oh, he needed that breath as a stream of expletives met his ear.
‘It was you, wasn’t it?’
‘Gina.’ Hugh tried to interrupt and was told again what a louse he was, how he’d damaged her career, that she’d trusted him.
‘Do you know what, Gina?’ Hugh said. ‘You call me when you want to talk properly, but right now I’m in no mood for your lies. Sort yourself out, or not, it’s entirely up to you. Just do it well away from patients.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘I HEAR YOU’RE still vomiting?’
Hugh stood at the door on day three post-op.
‘They’re keeping me in again tonight.’ Emily nodded. She wanted to go home and away from all the eyes and just curl up in a ball and heal, but every couple of hours she started retching and they weren’t sure if it was the anaesthetic or morning sickness. So the drip stayed in and apart from a shuffle to the loo and shower she was pretty much still in bed.
‘You’ve lost weight,’ Hugh said.
‘I was going to say the same thing about you.’ He looked haggard and a bit thinner and very, very troubled, even if he was trying to sound upbeat.
‘I know it’s a shock...’
‘Emily...’ Hugh tried to keep his patience. ‘I’ve got a lot on my mind at the moment, but can you please get it into your head that I am not cross about the baby, I am not running screaming for the hills...’
‘You’re not upset?’
‘God...’ He let out an exasperated sigh. ‘I’m pleased.’ She blinked when he said it. ‘I’m actually pleased that you’re pregnant because now, like it or not, we have to talk.’
‘So what are you looking so worried about?’
‘You,’ Hugh said. ‘Surgery at six weeks gestation...’
But she knew there was more. ‘Hugh?’
‘Stuff,’ Hugh said. ‘I’ve just got a lot going on. You don’t need to hear it.’
‘Is Alex angry?’
‘Yeah, there’s that too.’ He turned from the window. ‘I’m not exactly his favourite person at the moment.’ He came and sat by her bed. ‘Your HCG is still rising,’ he said, and watched her face to see if the fact her HCG level was still rising, indicating the pregnancy was progressing, might bring a smile to her eyes, but she just stared back at him.
‘I asked Alex if I could have an ultrasound,’ Emily said. ‘It’s booked in for nine tomorrow. Maybe when I see for myself...’ Emily closed her eyes. It was all numbers at the moment and she could barely remember the brief ultrasound that had been done in Emergency.
‘Do you want to come?’ she offered.
Hugh nodded. ‘When will you be well enough for that row?’
‘Are we going to have a row?’
‘I assume so,’ Hugh said. ‘You weren’t exactly holding back on Saturday night.’
‘Well, it would seem you didn’t either,’ Emily said. ‘I heard you left her room on Sunday morning.’
‘I didn’t sleep with her.’
‘La-la-la-la-la,’ Emily said.
‘Grow up,’ Hugh said, only this time not quite so kindly. ‘I’m crazy about you, Emily, and I have been for a very long time, and if you think I slept with Gina after our row, then there’s really not much point.’ He stood. ‘I’m going to go or I’ll say something I regret and then I really will be the bastard everyone thinks I am.’
‘Hugh—’
‘Nope.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t do this now. I want you to rest and to get better. I’ll be here at nine.’ Then he changed his
mind and revealed a little of what was on his mind. ‘Do you know why I respect Alex so much?’ he asked. Emily just looked at him. ‘Do you remember when Jennifer went into labour and he must have been as worried as hell but he did not miss a beat, he just kept on operating? He knew that Jennifer would be okay without him there. She might not like it, but that was part of their deal...she trusted him. And you don’t trust me.’
He looked down at her.
‘I am going through some stuff right now that I cannot share with you, especially given the extremely tenuous nature of our relationship, but I will tell you this much. I will do my best to be here tomorrow and at any future appointments, and I take full responsibility for this baby and, whether you like it or not, I will be in this baby’s life.’
‘From York!’ Emily called to his departing back.
‘I’ve already pulled the application.’ Hugh turned around. ‘Get used to me, Emily, because I won’t be keeping in touch with my child via Facebook. Don’t ever compare me to him.’
Emily lay there after he had gone.
And lay there.
‘No vomiting,’ the night nurse said. ‘That’s good.’
Was it, though?
What if the morning sickness had faded because she wasn’t pregnant any more?
It was the first time her brain was quiet.
She just stared at the ceiling through a very long night and looked back on the years she had known Hugh.
And then looked ahead to the years possibly with him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HUGH SLEPT FOR about two and half hours and was up at five and at work by seven.
It was the day of his interview but no way was he going to sit through a formality just to be told he was way too immature for such a senior role.
Immature?
He felt about a hundred years old this morning.
There was an email from the head of anaesthetics, asking him to meet at ten, and Hugh wondered if Gina would be present.
Oh, God, he hoped not.
First, though, there was the ultrasound and he was most nervous about that, because for all the HCG was rising, it was a fragile time and again Hugh wondered if he had come down too hard on Emily last night.
Maybe he could put up with it?
Given all she went through with her family, maybe some jealousy and suspicion were to be expected.
‘Morning.’ Alex was less than effusive in his greeting. ‘I want to go up to ICU and check on Mr Hill before we start rounds.’
‘Sure,’ Hugh said. ‘Is it okay if I slip off at nine? Emily’s having—’
‘I know,’ Alex clipped. ‘Fine.’
‘And at ten I have to meet Mr Eccleston...’
‘Mr Eccleston.’ Alex frowned, and Hugh debated whether or not to tell him but, no, not just yet. He decided to see how things were panning out before sharing the burden with Alex.
Mr Hill was extremely unstable when they arrived and they were actually considering taking him back to Theatre when Alex glanced at the clock.
‘Go,’ he said. ‘I’ve got this.’
‘Thanks.’
Okay, Hugh thought, making his way down to the surgical unit. Daddy face on? Happy face on? Worried face on?
He stopped at the vending machine at the entrance to the ward and was just buying a bottle of water when he heard his name.
‘Hugh?’
Hugh swung around and saw Gina. He was momentarily sideswiped, wondering if she was going to beg him to withdraw his accusations, or plead with him that she was getting help, or just scream at him again. Then he watched her crumple.
‘Help me...’ She was in his arms and he actually thought in that moment that if he let her go he might never see her again. In fact, he didn’t think, he knew. ‘I need help, Hugh, now, now, now...’
He pulled her into the patients’ lounge and asked an elderly man to please excuse them.
‘Help me, don’t leave me...’ Gina begged.
‘I’m not going to leave you.’
‘I’m scared.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m scared what I’m going to do...’
‘I’m not leaving you,’ Hugh said, and he looked out of the glass window at the frowning man, who thankfully took his cue and walked away. ‘We’re going to get you some help.’
He unscrewed the cap of the bottle of water and gave it to Gina then fired off a very quick text. But then saw the water spilling over her face.
‘Have you taken anything?’
‘No.’
He checked her pulse and her pupils and, no, it would seem she hadn’t.
‘Help me.’
‘I’ve told you already that I will,’ Hugh said. ‘Talk to me,’ he said, and finally Gina did.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JUST AFTER NINE her phone bleeped, indicating a text had come in, and Emily saw that it was from Hugh.
Held up, sorry, I will get there ASAP, let me know.
Hugh wouldn’t choose to miss this, Emily knew. He must be stuck with something pretty serious if he couldn’t get away for the ultrasound.
She smiled in surprise when Anton came in because she’d been expecting the radiographer, but he gave her a very nice smile back and wished her good morning.
‘You’re much nicer to your patients than you are to your colleagues,’ Emily observed.
‘Of course I am.’
She lay back and tried not to let on just how petrified she was.
Emily wanted this baby.
Accident or not, mistake or carelessness, the possibility she might have already lost it before she truly loved it was terrifying.
‘You’ve had lots to drink?’
‘Lots,’ Emily said.
‘So you have,’ Anton said as he lifted her gown, because her bladder was full to bursting, which helped get a better image.
Some jelly was squeezed on her abdomen and then came the interminable wait. The screen was visible but Emily just closed her eyes but then she opened them and looked and saw a little flicker on the screen.
‘Is that its heartbeat...?’
‘It is, and it is all looking good,’ Anton said. ‘Six weeks...’ He peeled off a tissue and handed it to Emily as she started to cry.
‘Sorry,’ Emily said. ‘I didn’t realise how scared I was.’
‘It is fine to cry.’ Anton smiled. ‘I’m so pleased it’s good news.’
‘I didn’t even know if I wanted to be pregnant.’
‘Well, you know now,’ Anton said, and Emily nodded because she did want this baby very much. ‘It is normal,’ Anton continued, ‘especially when the pregnancy is unexpected, to take a while to get used to the idea. How are things with Hugh?’
She was terribly grateful that Anton didn’t pretend he hadn’t heard all the horrible gossip and she answered him honestly. ‘It’s a big shock to him too, I guess, but he seems okay about the baby, though we’re not so okay right now.’ She looked at Anton, knew there was nothing he could really say.
Except she didn’t know Anton.
Yes, he had heard all the rumours—in fact, he’d just walked past the patients’ lounge and had seen Hugh and Gina sitting holding hands in deep conversation.
Anton, more than anyone, knew what was going on.
‘I’m going to tell you something.’ He actually took Emily’s hand. ‘I am not friendly with staff, for my own reasons. I loathe gossip and I avoid it as if it were poison.’
‘I don’t care about gossip,’ Emily said.
‘Good.’ He gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Keep your own counsel.’
‘I shall.’
‘Then you shan’t go wrong.’ He gave her a smile that had Emily wanting
to reach for her phone and text Louise to climb right up that stethoscope, but she restrained herself and decided to put it down to hormones as Anton spoke on. ‘Right, from this side of things I can discharge you. Your nausea has gone, the ultrasound is fine. But because of your surgery you shall see me for your antenatal care from now on. Normally it is two weeks off work after an appendectomy but I would like you to take three, perhaps more, and then I want you to come and see me before you go back to work. Have some quality time off and relax.’
‘Sounds good.’
Anton left and she was just about to text Hugh or go to the loo when the domestic breezed in.
‘It’s fine,’ Emily said, putting on her dressing gown, deciding she’d use the loo on the ward instead of the one in her room.
And then she’d text Hugh.
Nature was seriously calling.
So much so that when she walked past the patients’ lounge she barely halted as she saw Hugh. She just stood there for a second as she found out the reason Hugh couldn’t be at the ultrasound.
He was deep in conversation with Gina.
And very possibly it wasn’t work they were discussing because he was holding her hands.
He glanced up and she could have confirmed the row they’d had on Saturday by sticking up her fingers or huffing off.
She could have ended it then but she kept her own counsel and instead let him into her heart with a small brief smile and then went to the loo.
Back in her room she sent a text.
All looks good, nice heartbeat. Em
She got back three smiley faces and a row of kisses.
And then she got morning tea.
And then lunch.
Then a brief visit from Alex, who examined her abdomen and saw her temperature was on the edge of normal and said he would like her to stay for one more night and that she could go home in the morning if all her observations were within normal ranges.
And there was still no word from Hugh, though it didn’t bother her. The less she was told the more important Emily knew it was.
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