by Kia
“Where is PJ?”
Her asking that made me remember that I needed to pick him up from Pinky. “With Pinky.”
“So, what did Percy say to you?” Chola asked.
“He just looked at me and smiled. Didn’t say anything. But you better fucking believe that I will make his ass talk.”
“But why Percy out of all people? Why is he trying to get you?”
“Same reason Bishop took Malina and PJ maybe… it has to be for money. Now that I think about it, this nigga been playing all of us,” I said as I thought back on the day that PJ was kidnapped.
This nigga never really put in effort to help us find PJ. Just made excuses. How did I not see that? How did Nyssa not see that? Shit, we all missed it.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but you have a traitor in your crew,” she said, looking up at me.
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that.” It was the only way Bishop and Percy kept knowing so much about my whereabouts.
“The thing about a traitor is most of the time, they don’t know that they’re a traitor,” Chola confessed.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked.
“It’s simple. Someone in your crew is talking entirely too much.”
I didn’t want to admit it to Chola, but this could be Malina or Neiman. Neiman because she was so goddamned weak over men, and being that she’d been secretly fucking Kipp, she probably done told him some shit. Malina because her ass couldn’t stay away from Slick. Many people knew that, so they used it against her. Just like Bishop did.
“That’s crazy,” is all I could say.
“I’m going back to Los Angeles in the morning, but I took care of those cops for you.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
She smiled. “Just know that I took care of them. Now the rest is up to you. Be smarter about how you move.”
“Why are you going back so soon?”
“My father wants to visit our family in Colombia. Want to come?” she asked.
I took a moment to think about it and then decided not to go. “I have too much going on to be way in Colombia.”
“I understand.”
“I feel like everything is just blowing up. People will do some evil things for drugs and money. It’s ridiculous,” I said.
“You have Malina and PJ back. Wasn’t that you reason for selling drugs to begin with?” she asked as she moved closer to me.
“Yeah.”
“Then why are you still doing it?”
I thought about it and I didn’t even have a reason. But I was in too deep now. I had wet up the drought out in Miami, and niggas were now depending on me. “I don’t even know,” I confessed.
“It’s not too late. If you want to stop, I won’t be mad at you.”
“I can’t make a decision right now, but I will let you know when I do.”
Never thought it would be this hard. Now I see how the drug game could be addictive to dealers too.
Chapter Ten
Neiman
“What? You claim I don’t treat you right, so you into the arms of my nigga, Kipp? Out of all people? Really, Neiman?” Glory asked.
For some reason, after the shootout, he asked me to meet him at his condo. Now I was seeing why. Kipp talked too fucking much.
“Now you see how I feel?” I asked when I saw how mad he was. I liked it.
“See how you feel? How you think I feel?” he asked.
“Mad, hurt and emotional.”
He laughed. “Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. You still don’t get it.” He looked at me like I was clueless as we sat in his living room.
“What do you mean?”
“The time that we were spending apart was the time you needed to spend alone and reevaluate fucking life. Not go suck Kipp’s dick. You setting yourself back, Neiman.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you fucking don’t. So a nigga gotta spell it out for you? Damn, girl.” He pulled out a blunt and lit it. After taking a puff, he looked at me and shook his head.
“So you judging me now?” I asked.
“Never. I’m too much of a fucked up person for that. All I’m saying is use your head.”
“I do.”
“Not to suck dick. Like really use it. Remember I said I would help you gain self love?”
“And then you went and fucked Pinky.”
“You did too,” he snapped back with laughter.
“But only because you liked it.”
“Exactly!” He hopped up.
“Glory, what the fuck?” I asked in a state of total confusion.
“You were supposed to sit back and think about that shit after it happened, Neiman. I knew you didn’t like it, so I knew you would turn that hurt into anger. And then maybe you would think like, damn, didn’t nobody tell you to fuck Pinky. You did it at your own free will to please me. A normal fucking person would’ve stood up for they mothafucking self. Not go and fuck my nigga who is ten times worse.”
My eyes started to water as I darted them from him to the floor. “But you didn’t care! If I would’ve stood up for myself and left, we would’ve been over. You didn’t care. You told me.”
“And that’s the problem! You’re so fucking scared of being alone. You think I would’ve left, so you stayed around. But what about you, Neiman? What about your happiness? If you would’ve put your foot down, Pinky wouldn’t even be around, Neiman! Damn! Everything that happened in your life, you allowed it. I don’t want no weak ass woman.”
“But… but… I put you on punishment.”
“Just to go and fuck Kipp… Kipp… out of all people. You just be careful, my nigga. I hope you ain’t looking for love.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I’m just saying.” He shook his head.
“I can put my foot down,” I said, breaking the silence.
“It’s too late now. That shit would be invalid.”
“How?”
“Because I had to tell you to do it. It’s too late.”
“So what happens now?” I asked.
“I think we need some time apart, and I pray to God that you get it together.”
“What?” I asked as the tears finally fell.
“I want you to dig deep inside of yourself and find your fucking dignity. Most importantly, find your self-love. You ain’t noticed yet? That’s why your family looks down on you. You’re so afraid of being alone that you would sacrifice your own happiness. Just for a man.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then show me what it’s like.” He stood up to let me out.
I grabbed my purse and didn’t put up a fight. I was done begging.
Chapter Eleven
Milo
The next day…
“Ay, get them lil’ niggas from in front of the trap. That’s too much attention being drawn,” I said to Pinky as I bagged up some dimes.
Lu Lu had sent me his bad ass lil’ brothers for protection, but all they did was annoy me. Shit, I was a few minutes away from telling them to leave. I had traffic coming in and out, and them niggas ain’t do shit but sit on the porch and smoke weed with the homies. Fuck that.
As soon as Pinky walked outside, Kipp walked in. I rolled my eyes so hard at him.
“What’s wrong now?” he asked. Then he came to sit by me at the kitchen table.
“So you fucking with Neiman?”
“Man, it ain’t nothing like that. Hold up, you mad? Remember I tried to be with you,” he explained.
I really didn’t give a fuck. Was just giving him a hard time. I hope Neiman didn’t call herself giving a fuck, because Kipp was absolutely nothing to give a fuck about.
“Umhmm, whatever,” I said as I maneuvered my way around the kitchen. I didn’t even know why in the hell he was here. I wasn’t his bitch, so why explain to me?
“So Glory finally gave you a trap, huh?” he asked as he followed me to the sink.
&n
bsp; “Glory didn’t give me shit. I’ve been working my ass off, not sleeping, trying to get this shit off the ground.”
He smirked. “Bitch, please. This spot was already jumping.”
“Nah, not when they found out I was running it. I couldn’t even break it in good. I ain’t even been to sleep, and that’s no lie.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m for real.”
“Let me talk to you real quick,” he said.
“Not now, Kipp. I’m busy.”
“Let Pinky handle this shit for a little while. Come here.”
“Kipp, I said no.” I put the pot down and gave him a serious look.
“Damn, is you doing bad or something?” he asked.
“No, but you know my situation. I can’t go back to the club until we find them niggas that tried to kill me.”
Saying that to Kipp made me realize that maybe it was time for me to start thinking about a more serious occupation that I could attend every day without worrying about this stupid ass shit.
Chapter Twelve
Malina
“I heard y’all in Miami getting to that money,” my mother said as she puffed on her cigarette. I still hadn’t left Dallas; I had more business to tend to. But first, I wanted to see my mother.
“Well hello to you too,” I said as I sat on the couch next to her.
She still hadn’t looked at me since I used my key to walk in. I expected her to look broke down and rusty, but she actually looked good.
“Hey. So how’s Miami?”
“It’s coming along.” I took my purse off and set it on the table.
“You look cute,” she said, finally looking at me. But not my face, at my attire.
“You too.”
“So why you ain’t offered mama no money?”
“Did you know that Moe and his friends raped me?” I asked as I thought back on what Bishop had told me that night he killed Nyssa.
He told me that my mother knew I would be raped, and that Moe planned to kill me. I just couldn’t believe it. Not my mama. It had to be an explanation for her actions.
“You alive, ain’t you?” she asked, blowing smoke in my face.
“Did you?”
“You know, I never did like you. Ya ass look like ya daddy all over. You all he cares about, anyway. He doesn’t give a damn about me,” she said, shaking her head.
“What… the fuck?” I asked in total shock. That literally came out of nowhere. I didn’t even say shit about my dad.
“Don’t be so damn slow. I’m sure Bishop told you everything when he kidnapped you.”
“Run it back,” I said as I stood up. I couldn’t have heard her right.
“You heard me.”
“How did you know Bishop had me?” I asked.
“Because he paid me to find you. And when I found you, he paid me. Then he picked you up. At least somebody around this bitch cares enough to pay me.”
“What? So you were the bitch that followed Slick to the airport?” I asked in disbelief.
“Sure did. Thought he would finish what Moe started.”
“Ma, what the fuck is wrong? What did I ever do to you?” I asked as tears ran down my face.
I didn’t understand my mother at all. She was just out to get me for no reason, and it’s been like that since I was a child. Since my dad went away.
“Your dry ass almost got me killed!” I yelled, pointing my finger at her nose.
She pushed it out the way. “Oh, hush, chile. He didn’t kill you.”
“Yeah, but you want me dead? Why?” I asked.
She didn’t answer.
I ran to the bathroom to pull myself together. Looking in the mirror, I splashed water over my face. When I turned the faucet off, I noticed that she still kept her gun under the sink. I emptied all the bullets out and took it into the living room with me.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
I kneeled down and placed the gun in her hands as I held it to my forehead. “You want me dead?” I asked. Now she had tears falling from her eyes. “Do it!” I yelled.
“You not no real daughter. You never loved me. I wasn’t good enough.”
“Do it!” I screamed as tears dripped into my mouth. My heart almost broke when I heard the clicking noise from the gun. Her eyes were closed.
“I hate you!” she screamed.
“You would really kill me?”
“Get out!” she yelled.
This visit didn’t go as planned. I never knew she hated me this much. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. Before I could leave, I turned around to look her dead in the eyes.
“You’re dead to me. You hear me? You don’t have a fucking daughter,” I said before leaving.
“So fucking what!” I heard her scream over and over until I got into my rental.
What was life?
Before I headed back to the airport, I took my ass to the District Attorney’s office. Divine was around here ruining my life while she was living well with Chola, but I had something for her ass. This next move I had up my sleeve was sure to dismantle her ass, and I would sit back quietly and watch it all unfold.
Chapter Thirteen
Divine
“I just really wanted to thank you for how you had my back yesterday. I really appreciate it,” I said to Milo as I sat on the couch.
“No problem, boss.”
I laughed. “Please don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” she asked as she finally sat next to me on the couch and sparked a blunt then passed it to me.
“It feels funny. I don’t feel like I’m there yet to be called a boss. You know?”
“I feel you. So what you wanna be called?”
“Divine.”
“Duh, Milo,” she said to herself as she laughed.
“But is everything okay? I just had to check on you to make sure shit was going steady. You know? Us women have to stick together,” I said.
“It’s cool. I’m surprised Chola isn’t here.”
“She had to go out of town.”
“Excuse my language, but that bitch is crazy,” Milo said.
“She’s just misunderstood. That’s all.”
“Seems like the only person that understands her is you.”
“You might be right. But Chola means no harm.”
“Well, I guess I just have to get to know her.”
“Yeah. So what’s there to do around here for fun?” I asked.
I had been in Miami for a few months and had yet to find out where it be jumping. I didn’t wanna go to no ratchet clubs. I wanted some elegant shit.
“Like what?”
“Like… some mature shit where it won’t be no disrespecting or shooting going on, just fun. You know?”
“Yeah, I get it. I got the perfect place for you. We all can go if you like.”
“Who?”
“I’m just saying, if you want to invite your cousins…”
“Absolutely not. I can’t take them anywhere.”
“Why not?”
“First of all, Neiman got her head so far up Glory’s ass it’s crazy. And Malina… I just can’t.”
“Well, it can just be us two,” she said and passed the blunt back to me.
Chapter Fourteen
Neiman
As I lay in bed, I cringed at the thought of calling Glory. Though I was tempted, I just couldn’t. I was tired of being the dumb one. Hell, I was smart too. I though back on what Glory said about Kipp, and it was all starting to make sense. I see why he was mad. But what Glory failed to realize is I didn’t take Kipp serious. He was nothing more than some dick to me. Glory was who I loved.
“Fuck this,” I said to myself as I grabbed my keys and PJ.
I had sat up my whole life doing right by niggas who dogged me out, and I wasn’t about to stand for it anymore more The more I thought about Glory, the more pissed off I became. This nigga built me up just to break me down again. And then called me weak when he was t
he fucking one that made me this way.
Just as I opened the door, Kipp was standing there with puppy dog eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?” I asked as I rolled my eyes.
“I know Glory hit you up.”
“Yeah. And?”
“I didn’t tell him.” He walked in and shut the door.
“Well, who did?” I asked.
“Man, Divine was looking for you after that Percy nigga tried to kidnap her. She asked me in front of Glory, so that nigga was like… what the fuck?”
“Wait… who?”
“Glory.”
“No, who tried to kidnap her?”
“Some nigga name Percy. Why?”
“You sure?” I asked.
PJ started crying when he heard Percy’s name.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Bye, Kipp. I gotta go,” I said as I stood up and pushed him out the front door.
“What’s going on? What?” His dreads were swinging from left to right as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
“I’ll call you,” I lied as I slammed the door in his face.
Then, I picked up the phone and called Divine.
“Hey, Neiman,” she answered.
“Yo, Percy did that?” I asked in shock.
She sighed. “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“For what? What were you going to do? Besides, I have it under control,” she said. I heard music in the background.
“You can’t keep trying to handle everything alone, Divine. It’s okay to ask for he—”
Click.
“I know she didn’t just hang up in my face,” I said to PJ since he was my only audience at the time.
I tried to call back, but she didn’t answer. Then I sat back, like damn… why would Percy be doing all of this? And then, I thought about the obvious. He knew all along that PJ wasn’t his baby.
Chapter Fifteen
Milo
Later that night…
“I’m sure. Glory sent someone to work the trap for me for a few hours, so we’re good,” I assured Divine as she picked me up from in front of my trap.
