Three days later I was driving down the freeway with my family on our way to dinner when a sports car came out of nowhere and passed me at a very high rate of speed. He had to be going at least 100 mph and he barely missed the front of my vehicle as he changed into my lane. I was in the middle of three lanes and another car was slightly ahead of me in the left lane. How that sports car fit in that small gap still escapes me, especially at that speed. The margin for error was razor thin and his dangerous actions infuriated me. If he had clipped the front of our vehicle at that speed, I would have most likely lost control of the car, and God only knows what could have happened.
The vision in my mind of my vehicle swirling out of control and my family possibly being hurt activated the warrior instinct in me that wants to protect my family at all cost, so I lost it. I floored the gas pedal, the engine roared and I began screaming at the driver of the sports car. I made a few aggressive gestures with my fist and repeatedly motioned for him to pull over as I tried to catch him. This went on for about 30
seconds as I weaved in and around cars trying to catch him, but there was no way. It wasn’t long before he was completely out of sight. At that point, I let my foot off the gas pedal, returned to a normal rate of speed, and began to regain my composure. I was still breathing heavy when Clay, who was sitting in the farthest seat in the back yelled out, “Dad, is that bringing honor to the family?”
Without saying a word, my head and eyes slowly turned toward my wife, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. With her arms crossed she turned her face towards mine, tilted her head and raised her eyebrows inquisitively as if to say, “Yes Doug, does it? H-m-m-m.”
I looked back at the road in front of me with a blank stare on my face and although I just wanted to ignore my son or tell him to be quiet, my reply was simply, “No son. That does not bring honor to the family, and I shouldn’t have behaved that way.” Then through gritted teeth I added,
“Thanks for bringing it to my attention.” To this day my wife and I both laugh about this shining moment in my past, when my 5-year old son was my teacher. Thankfully, my wife turned a negative into a positive that evening when she told me how proud she was of me and that through humility, I showed great strength.
Here’s my point. If used incorrectly, a To-Be list can leave you feeling shame or guilt, which are two of the most destructive words in the English language. They serve no one and they are always about the past, never the future. You must remember it is a “To-Be” list, not an “Already Doing” list, which means you still have work to do.
Having your own To-Be list will not prevent you from making mistakes.
It won’t make you perfect overnight, but it will help you correct your course much quicker when you veer off track. The goal is progress not perfection. Don’t let your To-Be list be an albatross around your neck.
Use it to help you communicate your desires to yourself and others so you’ll correct your actions when you fall short.
I think you’ll find, like I have, that when you say or do something that is out of alignment with your To-Be list, it will feel like a punch in the gut, which is a good thing because it will serve as a call to action. When you get that feeling all you have to do is immediately walk back to that person and say, “I’m sorry. That does not reflect the kind of person I am or want to be. Can I have a do-over?” You will be amazed at how energizing this is. Everyone can relate to falling short so you will not only be forgiven, you will be admired for being a person that has a clearly defined To-Be list, and for having the courage to admit your mistakes.
About Doug
Doug Hanson is a renaissance man in the world of motivation and business peak performance. His breadth of skills and services position him as a strategic resource for his corporate clients.
He’s been called the Master of Motivation and the Ambassador of Ambition , but he aspires to be a Transformation Coach, because he prefers the lasting nature of transformation. He teaches his clients that for motivation to last it must come from intrinsic drivers, not extrinsic perks or speeches. That everything we do and every decision we make is influenced by our current emotions and patterns of thought. Motivation derived from words or treasure is quick to fade, but an improvement in the quality of one’s thinking and their ability to maximize their emotional state will change their life forever.
Doug is a highly sought-after speaker with a hilarious and engaging style that captivates his audiences. He has done presentations around the world with clients in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Singapore, China, India, and many countries across Europe.
On several occasions Doug has addressed audiences from more than 40 countries in a single event. In addition to his vast list of Fortune 500 clients, Doug was a featured facilitator and speaker at Tony Robbins’ famous Life Mastery University in Hawaii for seven consecutive years, and was sought out by the NFL to energize the 10,000 volunteers involved in Super Bowl XXXVI I at the pre-game rally held in Houston’s Reliant Stadium two weeks prior to the big game.
In addition to keynotes, half-day, and ful-day seminars, Doug helps business leaders create a high-performance culture through a combination of services including assessments, teambuilding initiatives, leadership training, skills workshops, and his one-of-a-kind online employee engagement platform called MetaMorePhosis®. His employee engagement system is easy to initiate and is based on his proven results around what he call s the four pillars of performance: Skills, Mindset, Energy, and Connection.
One thing that separates Doug from other premier speakers and consultants is that he does not force the same canned material across all clients and projects. Doug researches and tirelessly prepares for each engagement to insure his presentations and trainings align with each client’s unique business objectives and event themes.
You can connect with Doug at any of the following websites:
• www.DougHanson.com
• www.MetaMorePhosis.com
• www.PlayFullOutOnline.com
• www.Twitter.com/MoreFromDoug
• www.Facebook.com/DougHansonSpeaker
• www.Linkedin.com/in/DougHanson281
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