by Crowe, Liz
*
He showed up in an amazing 1962 Lincoln Continental convertible, red, with a white leather interior. It was all she could do not to laugh out loud.
“Jesus, Jack, seriously,” she asked as she walked toward the passenger side to let herself in. Her every nerve ending was tingling; New Sara could not wait to be near him again. The little homey, domestic scenarios that had played through her waking thoughts kept intruding. Would it be possible for them to ever take things a step further? She didn’t know after her extreme reaction to that girl’s text messages. She didn’t know if her psyche could take it. Did she even want it? Her brother kept pressing her to go out with Craig — an officially Blake-approved mate.
She slid into her seat, leaned her head back and sighed. The decision suddenly appeared, bright and clear. She’d tell him once more. Give him a chance to accept or retreat. The word “trust” had to play a big part in the conversation whether he liked it or not.
“Nice car,” she said, not looking at him. The radio had been replaced at some astronomical expense with a modern, satellite version, and old 80s college rock poured from the speakers as he held his arm over the bench seat back and grinned at her.
“Thanks, I like it.” He grabbed a beer for her and himself a bottle of water from a cooler in the back seat.
Sara had managed to persuade two different buyers to meet her tomorrow to write offers, and strong-armed a couple of sellers into price reductions. She felt strong, determined to take back the reins of this thing with Jack, not let him hurt her but willing to open up a little again, if he would. She accepted the beer he offered, and drained half of it.
It was a two hour drive out to her parent’s property, which consisted of one small house with three bedrooms right on a lake and one smaller house with a room plus a bathroom they had always used for overflow guests in the summers she spent out here. Jack had great music on, the weather was perfect, and his arm stayed casually draped around her shoulders as they sang along with the Smithereens, The Clash, the Ramones and the Stones.
As they exited the freeway and began the forty-five minute drive out to the lake, she began to squirm, nervous at the thought of strolling into Blake’s party with this man. The one he’d warned her about, rescued her from. Jack’s hand stroked her neck, transferred to her thigh, moving her dress skirt up to allow him better access.
It set off a small fire in her belly but also tipped the scales in favor of what she planned to say to him today. She smiled but her throat clenched at the sight of his grin and moved his hand off her leg and back onto the steering wheel.
“Pull over at the first left,” she held her hands together, fighting the urge to touch him. She had to have her say. Whenever she was this near Jack something in her knew they were a great fit. Her heart lifted at the thought of their night together, the day of her attack, giving her strength. He did as she said, and made his way into a small open space about a quarter of a mile from the road, private and surrounded by tall trees.
“Hey,” he said, turning to her. “Did you lose your virginity here?”
“Maybe.” She shifted in her seat and turned to face him as he shut off the engine. “Wait.” She dodged the hand he extended to pull her close.
“Okay.” He sat back, his eyes darkening. There was a palpable change in the air and Sara gulped once, trying like hell not to lose her nerve.
“I, um, want to talk. Really talk just a minute. I mean, I think that we have potential. I’m not averse to the lifestyle you have, ah, introduced me to. It’s not that. I’m just afraid,”
“Sara, we’ve been through this.”
“No, let me finish.” She bit her lip and forced herself to continue. “I think I could be this…this…submissive for you. I think I might even like it but, from what I’ve read about this arrangement trust is a key component.”
“Yes, it is.” His eyes narrowed, his long finger tapped against the back of the leather seat, distracting her.
“Well, the thing is, Jack, I don’t know that I can. Trust you that is. I don’t think you are ready to let me. No.” She held up a hand against his protest. “I have more. It’s okay. I mean, I wish I could but I have to be honest with myself and engage a little self-protection here, you know?”
He blew out a breath and looked up at the dark green canopy that covered them. “But what if I say I’m willing to try? That you make me want to trust and be trustworthy more than any human being I’ve ever met?” Sara sucked in a breath. This wasn’t what she’d expected. Something along the lines of, “You’re right babe. Now let’s fuck some more,” or something like that would have been more in keeping with the mental conversations she’d had with him in the last few days.
“I’d say that is admirable.” She simply could not resist putting a hand against his darkened cheek. “But is it realistic?”
He wouldn’t meet her eyes. She leaned back, hands clenched tight in her lap. “I would do it you know. I’d live this way with you. It makes me happy, content, turned on, all the stuff it’s supposed to do. But,” she gasped when he gripped her arms, hauled her up and onto his lap, his lips covering hers, his hands fisted in her hair. She straddled him, felt his need press against her. He finally broke the lip lock.
“I have a different proposal for you.” She raised an eyebrow at him, her body on fire, her mind equally ablaze.
“How about you let me prove it? Give me as much as you can, small increments of trust. I need to show you I can do it. I swear,” he broke away. She put her hands on either side of his face and swore, for a minute, she saw deep sadness in his eyes. Her stomach fluttered.
He reached for her then, cupped a hand behind her neck and covered her protests with a kiss that made her doubt anything and everything she had said to him. She tore her lips away with some effort, put her hands on his shoulders and glared at him.
“A trial period, eh? For how long? I’m a busy girl. Gotta schedule things.”
He grinned and cupped a breast under her dress. “Control freak.” He moved her strap aside, leaned into suck a nipple into his mouth. She threaded her fingers in his hair, her heart singing with happiness.
“Yeah, give it a deadline. You know, in case I need to keep my options open.”
He released her nipple, gripped her hair harder, making her gasp with the pleasure/pain sensation so much a part of her relationship with him so far. His normally low, growly voice went down an octave, making her shiver all over. “You don’t need any other option baby. I’ve got everything you need.” She nodded, speechless. This was going to work.
“I need you,” she heard New Sara tell him. He reached for her, but she forced his hands back. Readjusting herself on her knees, she reached in and grabbed his neck, pulling his face to her, demanding a kiss. He gave her want she wanted, yanked her dress up to gain access to her bare pussy and ass. Without another word, she unzipped his shorts and gripped him, making him sigh with pleasure. “Hang on, I brought protection.” She smiled and showed him the condom she’d retrieved from her purse.
“So, Sara is a girl scout,” he muttered, closing his eyes as she rolled the thin sheath down his shaft.
“Yeah a girl learns how to take care of herself.” His cock was so hard it pressed up tight against his lower belly. She straddled him, allowed herself only minimal penetration. She dipped her pussy onto the thick head of his cock, took one of his hands and guided it to her nipple, which was nearly exploding with anticipation.
“Wait.” He held her hips, not letting her envelop him fully. “You have to understand something. This is your choice. Something you can take away anytime. But…” he sighed, releasing her so she could take him into herself, as they both groaned at the sensation. He tugged her chin down, making her meet his eyes. “You scare me Sara. The way I feel about you terrifies me. And when I get scared I act stupid, fair warning.”
She reacted to his voice like an animal, her skin flushed, her clit sensitized in way that made her near
ly mad with need. She wanted him — all of him, all of the time, but if this was all he would give, well, she’d take it. She responded by sitting on him fully, taking his thickness into herself, and gasped from the familiar stretching sensation.
His hands grasped her hips, forced her back up. He looked at her a moment, his gaze puzzled, but New Sara ignored his confusion and lowered herself back down, taking him into her fully, again and again. She closed her eyes and let it happen, felt her orgasm roaring up with every penetration. She shoved his shirt up and ran her hands across his incredibly sculpted upper body. Consciously tightening her vaginal muscles, she watched his eyes, aware of the response she would get.
“Don’t be stupid Jack.” She whispered, nearly breathless. “You can trust me, too.”
When he reached around and grabbed her ass with both hands, and brought his lips back to her nipple she tipped over the edge, moaning and crying out his name as the orgasm embraced her. She brought his face up to hers; wanting to kiss his lips, share it with him. She continued to flex her inner muscles and raise herself up and down on Jack’s magnificent cock, as he reached his own climax, groaning into her mouth.
She remained in place a few minutes, trying to restore her normal breathing pattern. He sighed into her neck. “Okay,” he muttered, “I think I’ve been used and abused, but I liked it,” He shifted as she lifted herself off him.
She laughed. “Let’s go, the party’s started. Might as well face Blake now. That’s part of my deal. He has to know.”
Jack groaned. “Okay but try to keep him from throttling me, will ya?” She leaned over to kiss him, her body sated, her mind clear.
They reached the cabin, its lights ablaze, music pouring out of all windows, people inside and out. Jack started out with his arm around her shoulders, but released her. She figured he was going to grab drinks for them and started across the room to talk with a friend. When she caught sight of an extremely tall and exotic looking woman making a beeline for him, she blinked, still in a slight stupor from her recent orgasm. Her eyes narrowed as the woman whispered something in Jack’s ear, making him frown. Heather. It had to be. She swallowed hard.
Trust him Sara. You have to give him a chance. He’s probably telling her to back off.
She walked up to Blake who stood at the grill turning hamburgers.
“Hey sister.” He glared over at Jack then leaned in to whisper into her ear, “You smell like sex. What the hell is he doing here?”
“Hey Blake,” she put her arm around his wide shoulders. “He’s, ah, my date.” The sudden feel of something cold against her arm made her squeal. She jumped and turned, fully expecting Jack to be standing there with a cold one for her. When she looked straight into Craig’s deep chocolate eyes her skin prickled. He smiled at her, and held out the sweating brown bottle. She closed her eyes at the sound distinct sound of Jack’s laughter across the room, snapped them open and took the bottle, emptying half in one drink.
Blake shook Craig’s hand, and Sara looked around the room pretending not to notice Jack and the woman he claimed was a stalker. As if sensing her glare, Jack turned his head, winked at her, and then turned the full force of his attention to the woman practically panting in front of him. She kept touching his arm, his chest, but to his credit, he would remove her hand whenever it reached him. Sara clutched the bottle tighter, finished it off, and put the empty down before stomping away.
Trust goddamn it. Why was he making so hard?
Sara greeted some friends on her way to the beer coolers, grabbed another one, stood and opened it as she turned. Craig stood at the other end of the long table filled with food, laughing with Jen, the admin girl he’d been linked with through company gossip. Sara’s face flushed.
She attempted to locate Jack without looking around too obviously. Her second beer went down quickly, and she made her way over to Rob, ignoring Craig as she passed him.
“Hey,” her brother’s handsome lover said his back to her as he turned the shrimp and chicken kabobs on the massive grill.
“Don’t,” she demanded. “Just…don’t, okay?”
“You said yourself it was only physical,” he muttered to her. “Why do you expect him to act any different?”
“You know what,” she hissed at him, “You don’t know the whole story. We are together for your information and he has to tell her that,” she nodded over to where Jack and Heather had been standing. They were nowhere in sight. She gulped and clenched her fists as Rob put a hand on her shoulder.
Needing space from him and his unspoken “I told you so”, she made her wobbly way across the large deck to her friends. Passing by an open door, she heard Jack’s low laughter — the sound of him in full on seduction mode was hard to miss since she’d been on the receiving end of it so frequently.
While her brain screeched at her to keep walking, to ignore what she heard, her feet led so she found herself in the gloom of the one main rooms of the cabin. She kept walking until she was in the doorway out to the back deck. The overgrown wisteria vines provided dim corners perfect for secret trysts as Sara well knew from years of experience. The sound of a woman’s giggle and the distinct and recognizable noise of a kiss froze her in place. She sucked in a deep breath and stepped out onto the deck.
“Jack,” she heard a woman’s high-pitched voice stretching his name out to several syllables. “I thought you had forgotten about me.” The woman giggled again, an annoying nails on a chalkboard sound to Sara’s rattled brain.
“No, no. Now, now hang on. I’m here with someone. Cool your jets.” Sara stood and listened, willing to hear his side of the conversation. “Listen, Heather, I’m not…I mean I think I’m, whoa hands off sweetheart.” Sara heard the woman whimper.
“Hang on, aren’t you gonna finish what you started?” Heather’s voice got breathier. “I mean, you found me at this thing even though you came with…” Jack cut her off.
“Actually you found me. Look, I gotta get back. Sorry but you can’t, oh hell, seriously, stop it.” He groaned, making the hairs on the back of Sara’s neck stand up.
Mine.
The woman made a disappointed, whiney sound. Sara finished off the beer and set the bottle down with a clunk, alerting the asshole and the slut with him to her presence.
There was more rustling and a feminine squeal. She took another step out into the sunlight and saw Jack sitting with Heather half draped over his lap. She turned her head and glared at Sara, putting a blatant hand on Jack’s crotch. He shot up, knocking her to the floor, watching Sara the entire time.
Some combination of post Jack-induced orgasm stupor and extreme anger at his bullshit attitude since they hit the party made her body thrum with fury but she forced herself to get real. God, she should know better by now. The guy was nothing but a walking hard on, apparently, without any scruples or emotion whatsoever. His stupid email excuses, and her own willingness to let it slide these past days collided in her brain. She would never, ever trust him, no matter how badly she wanted to. It invited heartbreak and disaster, two things she had no time for anymore.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Sara put a hand on the wall to steady herself. “Don’t stop on my account, Jack,” she hissed at him, ignoring the woman as she sat back on the bench and tugged Jack’s hand. His eyes narrowed, “Since we came together I thought you might need to know I’m leaving. You know, so you won’t wonder where I am or anything.” Sara whirled around before she let tears drop before turning back to him and grinding out. “By the way, your time is up.”
“Wait, Sara. Christ, Heather would you please stop.”
She picked up her pace, able to sidestep the furniture through her veil of tears since Blake hadn’t changed anything from the time they used to hang here as kids. Her brother stood in the small kitchen and caught her arm as she passed by.
“Don’t touch me,” she yelled loud enough for the partygoers outside the front door to stop talking and stare. Blake grasped her arm anyway, and pulled
her close enough to hiss into her ear.
“I didn’t invite him, remember?” He put his arm around her waist. “Now calm the fuck down and don’t make a scene. He doesn’t deserve the attention, okay?” He pulled her close and she melted into this side, nodding her head and wiping her eyes. He gave her a tender kiss on the forehead, brushed one last tear from her cheek and propelled her ahead of him straight into Craig.
Brushing past the handsome blonde man, she marched down the steps to the large front yard, determined to get control of herself before talking to anyone else. She made it as far as the battered wooden swing her father had installed for them in the large oak tree. She grabbed the ropes in both hands, letting the tears drip onto the seat worn smooth by years of use.
I am such a fucking idiot! I do want him. I just admitted that today. He asked me to trust him and if I really thought about what he said to her out there…no. Fuck him. I won’t do it.
She let go of the ropes, and sat hugging her legs, leaned against the giant tree trunk. Her head pounded with unshed tears and too much beer. A band tightened around her chest, choking her, making her heartache and her mouth dry. She kicked her legs out in front of her and snorted in disgust and self-loathing. But yelped when a hand touched her shoulder.
“Sara,” Craig’s soft, musical voice intoned. “Hey, here, drink this,” he handed her an ice-cold water bottle. She ignored him and stared straight ahead.
“Won’t your date miss you,” she said through clenched teeth.
“She’s not my date,” he slid down the tree trunk next to her, dangling his hands between his knees. She grabbed the water bottle from him and slugged half of it back, letting some spill out the side of her mouth, no longer caring how she looked. “Wanna get out of here?” He bumped against her shoulder.
She turned to him. His deep brown eyes were wide and inquiring. He shrugged.
“Or not, whatever.” He studied his fingernails.
She stood, drained the water bottle and looked up on the deck filled with partiers. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jack stride around from behind the house, Heather scurrying after him, trying to keep up. She watched Jack’s eyes scan the crowd, land on his friends Evan and Suzanne, but not walking towards them. He kept looking around, ignoring the woman standing next to him trying to talk until she threw up her hands and walked away. Sara smiled coldly. She turned to Craig.
