“I’m not fragile,” she said, but really hadn’t answered his question.
“Regan, you have to open up to me. I love you, and you’re shutting yourself away from me. There is nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel for you.”
“I’ve only had three lovers before you. I thought I was in love with each of them. I know now I was wrong. I was young with the first two. But I gave myself to them wholeheartedly. With the last, the one who… well, the one who hurt me, I surrendered completely.” She clenched her jaw and shook her head. The tears had stopped, but he could see she was now angry. “He could say all the right things. Do all the right things and make me believe things I never would have believed in. I left a good job for him. I followed him. He was rich, handsome, and persuasive. I was his assistant. We traveled the world, but I was to stand by his side with my notebook open and my mouth shut, and I knew how it was.”
She looked away and took a deep breath. Her hands had clutched into fists, and she shoved back her shoulders as she turned to look at him. “What I didn’t know was that he was abusing me. Mentally. He was tearing down my defenses and building walls with rules and gifts. In the end the walls were so tall I didn’t see the bulldozer. I didn’t see he was keeping me and loving another. That with his influence, charm, and money he had chosen someone else for his wife. In my insecurities I never noticed that I had even helped plan some of the events.” Tears began to fall, and she wiped them quickly.
“He married his woman. The woman chosen for him by his parents and their money. My heart was ripped in two. He was my boss. He used me, betrayed me, and left me. And yes,” she started, then paused, and swallowed hard. “He hit me.”
Zach’s entire body tensed, and he took her hand and gripped it tight. She covered it with her other hand, which was cold and shaking. “I returned to Nashville, lived on my savings, worked small jobs to keep sane, and I survived. Fate brought me to your door, and now I’m afraid it’ll happen all over again.”
He eased back and looked at her. “I’m sorry, Regan.” He skimmed her hair with his hand. If only he knew who the man was, he’d see to him. He’d make him pay for his mistakes. Every part of him wanted to rip him apart for hurting the woman he loved and keeping her from loving him. “I cannot promise you that through all this I won’t hurt you at some time. It’s human to make mistakes. But I will promise that I will never lie to you. I will never do wrong by you or harm you. If you or I choose to go our separate ways, we do so honestly. And just for the record, I’m not ashamed of what we have. You’re not just my assistant. You are a vital part of my life at the office and away. I meant what I said. I love you.”
She fell into his arms and nestled her face in his neck. “I haven’t decided if you’re the most wonderful man to walk the earth or the craziest.”
“A fine line between the two.” He smiled, but his it felt like his heart was being wrung by the hands of the man who’d hurt Regan and kept her from trusting him. “What I am is crazy about you. And if I have to fire you to love you, I’ll do it.” He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “But I don’t want that. I want us to love each other and to work side by side. I think we make a good team.”
She watched him as she let her shoulders fall, and a smile formed on her lips. “So do I.”
Regan stood to the side and watched Zach, along with twenty others in hard hats and suits, lift dirt with shiny silver shovels in the ground breaking ceremony of the Dallas Empire Building. She couldn’t help but scan the crowd and look for faces that were familiar to her. It wasn’t the first time she’d stood to the side and watched the man she loved bask in the glory of something he was building.
No one looked familiar, except for Rebecca, who still kept an eye on her as though she knew all her secrets.
Among those who attended, there were introductions and handshakes. Zach kept his professionalism, as did Regan. Both wanted the same thing—success for Benson, Benson, and Hart and a speedy trip back to the hotel.
They spent one more day in Dallas as tourists and lovers before returning to work. And work was what they did.
The Dallas project was officially underway. The Kansas City project had almost caught up to schedule without going over budget, and John Forrester was making things easy in Nashville so he could be relocated to Los Angeles for the project there. The build was going to take Zach’s very best man, and that man was John Forrester.
On Thursday, Regan and Zach drove to the Memphis site, holding hands in the car the entire way, and she sang old country songs that made Zach laugh.
“This is a great work day.” Regan smiled as the wind blew through her hair in Audrey's convertible. “I’m glad Audrey thought of this.”
“She likes you. She wants you to like me so she can marry me off,” he said with a hint of laughter in his voice, but Regan turned her head. Every time she thought she had the man figured out, something else told her to beware. His mother was planning her future. She was already someone who could be forced to do what the rich and powerful wanted her to.
Zach touched her arm. “Regan, I didn’t mean anything by that. All I meant to say was she really likes you.” Regan looked back at him. The crease between his brows told her he was sorry for hurting her with his words, and it killed her that she was so sensitive to every word he spoke.
“I like her too.”
“She would like to think you would be the one I marry. She’s suddenly desperate for a huge wedding at the house and grandchildren.” The conversation wasn’t getting any better. Why was it she couldn’t accept the fact that Audrey Benson was genuinely kind and liked her for the person she was? Everything inside her said that it was happening again. That she was being controlled. However, if she replayed the past few weeks in her head, there was no evidence to back that up. She was scaring herself and she didn’t know how to stop.
She remained silent for the remainder of the trip and so did he. When Zach parked at the site, Regan grabbed her briefcase and took out her notebook. She checked to make sure she had her digital camera in her bag for visual notes.
Zach walked around the car and touched her. She jerked back, but he grabbed her arm. “Listen, this is all new to me. I chose you. My mother didn’t. I want to see where this goes with or without her blessing. We just happen to have it right now.” She was still looking away. “Regan, I’m not him. Whoever the man was that made you so afraid of commitment, love, and family, I’m not him. I’m not going to break your heart and plan out your life. If you’re going to be part of my life, you’re going to choose that.”
She knew she was being petty, but the pain was still there. Furthermore, she hadn’t been completely up front with him. There was so much more to the story. He’d promised not to lie to her, but she couldn’t be up front with him. She bit her lip and looked up at him.
“I’m sorry I picked a fight. Really, what you said wasn’t so bad. I… I guess I’m just gun-shy.”
“I would be too.” He moved closer to her as she swung her bag onto her shoulder. “I love you. Really, that’s all that matters.” His hands were on her arms, and he dipped down and kissed her lightly on her lips. As his mouth lingered on hers, someone called his name from behind him.
Roger Byers was headed toward them. Zach lifted his head, composed himself, and extended his hand to him.
“Hot day.” Roger’s shirt was sweat stained, and even as he spoke, a bead of sweat ran down his temple.
“That’s why we drove with the top down.” Zach smiled. “Roger, I want you to meet Regan Keller.”
“Oh, so you’re the pretty voice on the phone,” he mused, and she felt her stomach churn.
“Thank you.”
“Well c’mon back. We got sweet tea in the fridge and a ton of paperwork for you to look at.” He started toward the offices and they followed.
Regan sat uncomfortably in the office as the two men went over paperwork and plans. She couldn’t help but feel physically threatened by the way
Roger would look her way when Zach turned his head. There was a hate in his eyes. She’d seen it in Alexander Hamiliton’s eyes the day he struck her and meant to kill.
They went through the items in the office that needed attention. Zach asked questions. Roger answered them with “um” and “well.” Regan took explicit notes. She was very familiar with the fact that they were close to completion, and the job was going to go over on both time and budget.
Zach’s impatience with Roger was becoming obvious to her by the way he paced the floor and raked his fingers through his hair. She was sure it was showing to Roger as well. Roger Byers met Zach's well-mannered questions and concerns with half answers and stories, things she was finding Zach didn’t like.
When Zach excused himself to the bathroom, Roger sat in his chair, kicked up his feet, and scanned his eyes over her. “Some cushy job you have.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“I’ll bet you do your share of begging. I’ll bet you do your share of a lot of things.” He dropped his feet just as Zach walked back into the office.
Regan looked down at her notes and breathed through the hurt his words had caused.
Zach picked up his notebook and handed it to Regan. “Roger, I’m not happy about all this. You should have this building completed in less than two months, and we over budgeted, so to have gone over that is unacceptable. Your labor costs are higher than any other project.”
“C’mon, Zach. We both know how this is business is. Turnover rate, materials, weather, it’s all unpredictable. When have you ever known a building not to go over on time and budget?”
“When it was built by Benson, Benson and Hart. I’ll be back in a week for the walkthrough. I’m too angry to go in now,” he said. He gave Regan a nod. She stood and headed for the door.
Regan walked toward the car as Zach turned back again. “If I don’t see improvements, I’ll find someone else to finish the build.” He let the door shut behind him, and they could hear the curses that Roger Byers flung at him as he walked away.
Regan couldn’t help but keep looking back at the trailer to see if the man was going to come after them.
Zach opened her door and waited for her to climb into the car. When she had, he slowly walked to the other side, got in, and started the engine. He gripped the steering wheel and sat.
“Are you okay?” She wanted to touch him, but she wasn’t sure his reaction would be one she’d welcome.
“I’m just cooling down.” His teeth were clenched as he talked, and he wrung the steering wheel with his hands. “One thing about Benson, Benson and Hart, we get what we want.” He sucked in a deep breath. “That building will be done in my time frame, or he’ll be out and John Forrester will finish it before he goes to L.A. John has the Nashville project, which is still in its infancy, so we have time. I have to send him to Kansas City to do some damage control and now here. It’s all just an awful lot to chew on.”
Finally, he put the car in reverse and they left the lot.
Not one foul word had slipped through Zach’s lips as he drove away from the building site. Even though his sunglasses shielded his eyes, she knew he was deep in thought. A man who could breathe through his anger, and not use abusive words or fists to change the direction of things, was a special man. “Why don’t you send someone else out here?”
“I have lots of foremen on lots of jobs. Unfortunately, some of them are like our friend Roger Byers. But when you need it done right, you send John. Even if he’s only there a few weeks and then turns it over, you’ll be amazed at what gets done.” He gave a thoughtful nod and his shoulders relaxed. “I trust John.”
“I believe that.” Finally, she reached for his hand, and he interlaced his fingers with hers. Whatever anger he’d had over Roger Byers had melted away, and as his thumb grazed over her skin, she knew he’d never take that anger out on her. A giddy burst of joy filled her. “This has been a crazy afternoon. What do you say we finish up at the office and go back to my place? Let me cook you dinner. I have a hot tub on the back porch and Carlos keeps extra swim trunks around.”
He finally smiled and shifted his glance to her. His face had gone gentle, and he lifted his hand to caress her cheek. Even though he’d been angry, she didn’t feel the need to jerk away from him. She was comforted by his touch.
He reached for her hand, pulled it across to his lips, and pressed a lingering kiss on her knuckles. “I’m not one to turn down a free meal.”
“Good. Carlos is away tonight. No one will interrupt us.” She lifted his fingers to her lips and kissed them. “But there is one stipulation.”
He gave her a quick glance then shifted his attention back to the road. “What’s that?”
“We have to stop by the store. If I’m keeping you for the night, I’m not letting you go until after breakfast.”
He gave her hand a squeeze. “You’re sure about this?”
Couldn’t he see it resonate through her whole body? She was claiming back her life one piece at a time. With Zachary Benson, she was claiming back her heart, which had been torn into a million pieces. She was reclaiming the confidence that had been torn away with deceit and lies. And having watched his demeanor change on the ride back to Nashville, she realized she was letting that wall she’d built to protect herself physically crumble to the ground. There was nothing she wanted more than to keep Zach busy and wrapped in her arms all night long. She was now in charge. “That’s my executive decision.”
Chapter Eight
R
egan was completely aware that Zach’s stare was on her as she stirred the filling for the pie she planned to serve with dinner. With every stir, she let her body sway a bit. She liked the way the hem of his shirt, which she’d ripped from him the moment they’d walked through her front door, skimmed her bare thighs. From the few groans echoing into his wine glass as he drank, she was sure he liked the way it looked.
Zach cleared his throat. “You’re sure Carlos isn’t coming home tonight, or your sister won’t be here for some surprise visit?” he asked as he set his glass on the table and walked up behind her, still barefoot and clad in only his jeans after having spent all afternoon in the hot tub on the back porch.
“I’m sure.” She tossed back her hair, revealing her neck. Taking the subtle hint, he trailed kisses from her collarbone to her ear. He slipped his hands up under the shirt and cupped her breasts.
“You’re going to make me spill the filling,” she sighed.
“Sorry for distracting you.” He dropped his hands slowly, skimming his fingertips over her sensitive skin. “You’re sexy when you bake.”
“I’ve never had that compliment. Thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his chin against her shoulder. Regan dipped her finger into the chocolate pie filling and lifted it to his mouth. His breath was warm against her cheek as he sucked the filling from her finger, and it sent tingles through her core.
He wrapped his arms around her waist. “I love you, Regan.” She rested her head on his chest, and he pulled her against him tighter. “I could really get used to this.”
“Me in your arms.”
“Well, that too,” he joked, and she looked up at him and smiled. “Can’t you see it? Kissing in the kitchen and then dessert? What a way to end a day.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“I’ve been kissed for two hours straight. I’m feeling lightheaded.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m not used to this kind of attention.”
Zach stepped back and picked up his wine while Regan went about filling the pie crust with the filling.
“What is that scar on your stomach from, by the way?”
“What?” Her answer snapped and again her body stiffened from his questioning.
“I saw it when we were in the hot tub. Just right above your bikini bottoms.”
“Nothing.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He set his wine glass back down on the table, grabbed her
arm and turned her toward him. “What happened? What is that scar from?”
“I said it’s nothing,” she said again and went back to her preparation of dessert.
He picked up his wine and took a long drink. In a few short weeks, he’d made her forget her promise to herself not to fall for her boss. Thank goodness for that. He’d decided she was the woman with whom he wanted to share his life, but there were still too many walls between them. There were still secrets, and it was killing him. He could wring the neck of the man who had made her so timid around him.
He loved her. He’d said he loved her, even though she’d yet to return the words. In time she’d tell him what it was she was keeping buried inside.
Even though Zach kept his promise to remain professional in the office, he always found a way to sneak in a little romance. He’d leave her a note in her drawer or even on his desk in the morning, knowing she’d find it when she laid out his papers. He’d call her from a job site on her cell phone at lunchtime. Without those around her knowing, he’d speak sweetly to her. Certainly, on the other end her cheeks were flushed and her head hung to hide her emotions. This came through in her voice as she giggled and returned sweet thoughts in a soft whisper.
Whenever they got the chance, they spent the night in one another’s arms. He wondered when she’d open to him and accept him as more than just her boss and more than just her current lover.
“My mother wants us to come for dinner on the weekend.” He intertwined their fingers in the darkness.
“I was hoping we could go to New York and see my sister. She opens this weekend.” She kissed the fingers he’d intertwined with hers. Though her body had tensed beside his, she didn’t sound afraid when she suggested changing their plans to what she wanted. His chest filled with happiness.
“I’ll tell my mother we’ll have dinner another time.”
The Executive's Decision ~The Sweetened Version~ (The Keller Family Series) Page 13
