Seven months ago, she’d even considered giving up the job she loved and moving away then, while she could still have managed. But she hadn’t, because she’d harbored a foolish hope that Ryan would change his mind. That he’d walk back through the doors of the library and ask her out to dinner again.
Foolish, foolish Emma.
With tears in her eyes, she pushed up from the pillow and surveyed her room. Her suitcase was on the floor by the window, still packed, though standing open. Last night the nurse had helped her don her own nightgown. While not fancy, at least it didn’t have gaps down the back, like the hospital gown she had worn.
So, all she’d have to do was make her way to the chair beside her suitcase, get dressed, toss in her nightgown, and leave. Stopping to collect Andrea on the way, of course.
The thought of walking to her car alone was enough to exhaust her. Carrying a suitcase and her baby seemed an impossibility. But she didn’t want Ryan paying any more.
He didn’t want them, either of them.
As she was contemplating what she had to do, the door opened and the nurse entered with a breakfast tray. She raised the head of the bed, then put the tray on the bed table and slid it in front of Emma.
“You’ll feel stronger once you eat your breakfast,” she advised cheerfully. “And Doctor will be in soon to visit with you. He came last night, but you were already asleep and he didn’t want to wake you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she whispered. She barely remembered him from the delivery, but she’d liked him when she’d visited him two weeks ago to ask him to deliver her baby.
“No problem. He thought you getting some rest was more important than him poking around on you. Actually, you’re doing much better than any of us expected. You were in labor a long time. Why, Beth Kirby came in after you and delivered a couple of hours before you did.”
“Beth’s here? She had her baby?” Emma asked, joy on her face. She’d loved Beth almost as much as Ryan, feeling she’d finally found a sister. “Are she and the baby all right? What did she have?”
“Mercy, if I’d known that information would’ve cheered you up, I’d have told you at once,” the nurse said.
Emma blushed, embarrassed by letting her emotions show. She hoped the nurse didn’t tell Beth she’d been so eager for news. It would shock Ryan’s sister after Emma had rejected her offer of continuing friendship.
“I—I know her.”
“Well, of course you do. She’s your baby’s aunt. She had a little boy, and both are doing just fine. You’ve never seen a prouder daddy than Jack Kirby. He hasn’t left the hospital since they came in except to buy the biggest bouquet of roses in town. These daddies, you know how they…” She broke off abruptly, a stricken look on her face.
Emma knew what had caused her to grow silent. There were no flowers in her room. More importantly, there was no proud father watching his daughter through the nursery window, hovering over the mother’s bed.
“I’m so sorry, I—”
“Don’t worry about it, please. When will you bring my baby to me?”
“After you see the doctor.”
Emma nodded, but she was anxious to hold her baby again. “Then I’d better get started on my breakfast.”
The nurse, still embarrassed, tried to respond in a normal voice. As soon as she made sure Emma had everything she needed, she hurried from the room.
Ryan stood at the nursery window, staring at the pink bundle. The baby hadn’t moved or shown any sign of life since he’d arrived. When a nurse entered the nursery, he rapped on the window and pointed to the baby girl.
The nurse smiled and moved the baby to the front row of the window. Wouldn’t she have noticed if something was wrong? Ryan wanted to be reassured that the baby was breathing.
Just as he decided to knock on the window again, one little baby fist, clenched, moved to the rosebud mouth and the baby made some sucking motions.
Maybe she was kin to him. Dinnertime had always been high on his list. A small smile slipped across his lips, until he heard footsteps in the hallway.
Steve Lambert joined him. “Little miracles, aren’t they?”
“Uh, yeah. I don’t see Beth’s baby.”
“He’s probably in the room having breakfast with his mom.”
“Isn’t Emma—I mean, it—the baby seems hungry.”
“Emma indicated she wanted to breast-feed, but I had them give the baby sugar water until this morning. Emma will probably try today.”
“What did she say when you told her last night she was going to the ranch with me?” That question had filled his mind even as he and Billy set up the nursery last night. He didn’t think she’d easily agree.
“I didn’t talk to her. She was already asleep when I got to her room last night.”
“You were here that late? What happened?”
“An emergency. Barney Landers cut himself and had to have stitches. I got to Emma’s room by seven-thirty. But she’d already had her dinner and gone to sleep. I decided not to wake her. The nurses said she was doing all right. She needed the rest.”
“Are you going to see her now?”
“Yeah. Want to join me? We’ll face her together.”
Ryan would’ve liked to say no. He thought she’d agree with the doctor more easily than she would with him there. But it felt cowardly to hide behind his friend. “Sure,” he agreed and walked down the hall with Steve.
He dreaded every step that brought him closer to Emma.
Chapter Three
Emma gathered her strength and shoved back the blanket and sheet covering her. If she kept putting it off, she would never get out of the hospital.
And she’d decided it would be better to leave before the doctor got there…if she could manage it.
The door opened and she snatched the cover back to her chin.
Dr. Lambert caught the movement. “You need some assistance to get to the facilities? I’ll call a nurse,” he said gently and picked up her call button.
“No, I—” she began, but she stopped as Ryan came into view.
“Yes, Doctor?” the nurse called from behind Ryan’s wide shoulders.
“I think Miss Davenport needs some assistance, nurse. We’ll wait outside the room until she’s ready.” The doctor turned and pushed Ryan ahead of him, closing the door.
“What is it, dear? Are you feeling sick?”
“No, I was getting up to dress and—”
“You were what? You’ll do no such thing. I told you you were to stay in bed. Well, I never!” She tucked the covers tightly around Emma, and before Emma could ask her not to mention her indiscretion, she opened the door and announced to the doctor that Miss Davenport was getting out of bed to dress. “I’ll willingly help her, sir, if that’s what you want, but the last instructions I received were for her to stay in bed.”
“Thank you, nurse,” he replied. “Let me visit with the patient, and then I’ll get back to you.”
“Yes, sir.”
Emma lay back against the pillow, figuring she’d blown it. She’d probably receive a lecture with Ryan watching. She closed her eyes and kept them closed, even when she heard the heavy footsteps.
“Miss Davenport?”
She opened her eyes, but she turned her head away, staring at that small window again. “Yes?”
“I gather you’re anxious to leave us.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. Then she said, “I’m not complaining about the service, Doctor, but my baby and I are ready to go home.”
He moved to stand beside her, taking her hand in his. “I think you’d both be better off if you wait a couple of days.”
Emma took a quick glance at Ryan’s chiseled features and then looked at the doctor. “I—I really can’t afford that. I promise I’ll be careful. My baby will be—”
“You can’t go, Emma,” Ryan announced, as if it were his decision.
She refused to look at him.
“Doctor, I’ll follo
w your directions, I promise, but—”
“My directions are to stay in the hospital,” the man said gently, looking at her.
“I paid your bills, Emma,” Ryan announced.
She was glad she already knew he’d done so. “I’ll pay you back,” she said, still avoiding looking at him.
“Emma, you and your baby are my responsibility.”
“No!” she exclaimed, glaring at him. “I and my baby have nothing to do with you!”
“The hell you don’t! Why am I listed as the father if that’s true?”
“Ryan, wait outside.”
Emma stared at the doctor, grateful for his intervention.
“Steve, I need to—” Ryan protested.
“Ryan, wait outside.” His voice was a little more insistent, and he stared at Ryan.
Emma closed her eyes. She heard Ryan’s footsteps leaving the room.
“Tell him I’ll have his name removed. I didn’t mean—”
“Are you telling me he’s not the father of your baby?” the doctor asked calmly.
Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. Then she closed them again.
“That’s right,” she whispered. “I lied.”
“You’re lying now, Emma, and we both know it.”
Emma opened her eyes again and stared at the doctor. “I didn’t want my baby to have to wonder who her parents were. I didn’t intend to make Ryan pay for what he didn’t want. That’s why I need to go home today.”
“How will going home today change anything?”
She tried to sit up and he raised the head of the bed for her. “I see you know him. I know him, too. He’s a good man, but he didn’t want—want me or the baby. I don’t want him paying out of guilt. I’ll manage. I promise I’ll hold to the payment plan. Please don’t let him pay you.”
“Too late, Emma. He’s already paid,” the doctor said with a grin. “Hey, it’s not a problem for him.”
With the tears she could no longer hold back, she muttered, “It’s a problem for me.”
He pulled up a chair and sat down, shaking his head. “We’ve got something more important to talk about.”
The seriousness of his tone immediately frightened her. “Is Andrea okay? The nurse said—they haven’t brought her in. No! No, she isn’t—No!”
The door swung open and Ryan rushed in. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
The doctor ignored him and stood again, putting his hands on Emma’s shoulders. “Emma, your baby is fine. That’s not what I meant. She’s fine. The nurse is going to bring her in in a few minutes to show you how to nurse her.”
“You told her something was wrong with the baby?” Ryan demanded, his voice rising in alarm. “But you said she was fine.”
“You people are crazy,” the doctor said with a smile. “Listen to me. The baby—what’s-her-name—is perfectly healthy.”
“Andrea Leigh,” Emma said, wiping her cheeks, subsiding since the doctor wasn’t alarmed. She felt ridiculous for making such a fuss.
“Leigh?” Ryan repeated, disbelief in his voice. “You named her after my mother?”
She heard the anger rising in his voice. She drew a deep breath. “Yes, Andrea Leigh.”
“Hoping to get my mother on your side?”
“Ryan…” the doctor said in warning.
Emma had regained control, however. She looked at Ryan, really looked at him for the first time, and said, “Yes, I named her after her grandmother. Because she’s the only grandmother Andy will ever have.”
Then she turned away from Ryan. “What did we need to discuss, Doctor?”
Ryan stared at Emma. Two minutes ago, she was almost hysterical. Then she’d stared him down when he asked about the baby’s name.
His mother was going to be upset enough about the situation without discovering the baby was her namesake.
One more problem to deal with.
“No!” Emma shouted, upset again.
Ryan came back to the present to stare at her. “What’s going on?”
Steve sighed. “I explained about your offer to take Emma and the baby home with you while she recovered.”
She turned a stubborn look toward him. “No, thank you.”
Politeness with an attitude.
“Steve said you can’t go home, Emma. You need someone to take care of you.” She’d be reasonable. After all, he was a responsible man.
“No.”
No attitude now. Just an emotionless firm answer.
“Emma,” the doctor said, intervening again, “If you want to leave the hospital, you have to have someone to help you with the baby, to clean and cook for you. Do you have anyone who can do that?”
Emma stared straight ahead, ignoring both men. “I’ll manage.”
“Emma, I don’t want to have to ask Social Services to step in.”
Emma gasped, her hand going to her throat.
“Steve,” Ryan protested, knowing how much that threat would hurt Emma.
Steve held up his hand. “I don’t want to, but I’m not going to let you risk your baby’s health, Emma. Or your own. I don’t want you to lift anything, even your baby, for at least a week.”
It upset Ryan when Emma’s cheeks whitened. “Emma, Billy’s planning on you coming. He’ll take care of everything, and I’ll hire one of the wives on the ranch to help you every day. You won’t have to worry about me bothering you.”
He’d thought his words would help, but she looked even more devastated. Frowning, he tried to think about what he’d said to upset her, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.
“It’s the only way, Emma, if I’m going to let you out of here before at least a week is up,” Steve added.
“Please, couldn’t I—”
“No.”
Ryan wanted to rail at her. She made his offer sound like torture. He was trying to help. What was wrong with her? But he didn’t need Steve’s glare to warn him to keep quiet. Every time he spoke it only made matters worse.
“If I agree to go to the ranch, can Andy and I go today?” Emma asked, her voice trembling.
Steve reached out and covered her hand resting on the blanket. “No, but you can go after I see you in the morning.”
Ryan held his breath, waiting for her answer. It was because it was the only safe thing to do, of course. His tension had nothing to do with Emma…or her baby.
With her lashes lowered, she said, slowly, “All right.”
“Good, I’m glad. Now I won’t have to worry about that beautiful little girl,” Steve said, patting her hand again.
Ryan watched that hand, fighting the urge to tell him to take his hands off Emma. Which was ridiculous. Steve wasn’t that kind of man. Emma was safe with him.
Then Emma turned her gaze on him. “Can Billy take me to the apartment first? I’ll need—”
“We have everything you need. He set up a nursery last night.” That wasn’t quite honest. Billy hadn’t done it by himself, but Emma didn’t seem to want Ryan involved in anything connected to her or her baby.
Not that he blamed her. Ever since he’d seen that tiny baby, with him named as the father, and realized Emma had already been pregnant when he’d shut her out of his life, guilt had filled him.
Damn it, he’d been right, believing he shouldn’t have anything to do with family. His mistake was not explaining that to Emma before he—
“Ryan?” Steve called, interrupting his self-castigation. “I think Emma will be able to leave about ten in the morning. Is that all right with you?”
“Yes, of course.”
Emma said nothing, staring out the small window. The door opened again behind Ryan and he automatically turned to see who had arrived.
The nurse had stepped into the room. But she wasn’t alone. That pink bundle was in her arms. He stepped closer, wanting a better view of the baby. But then he looked at Emma. The panic-stricken look on her face stopped him.
Did she think he would hurt the child? She considered him a m
onster? He might not have chosen to have another child, but he wouldn’t harm the baby.
His features stiff, he stepped away from the new arrivals and noted the relief on Emma’s face. The message was clear. She was coming to his ranch because she had no choice, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Nor did she want him to touch her child.
Steve was standing beside Emma and reached out to pat her shoulder. “The nurse is going to help you start nursing your little girl, but they’re not going to bring the baby to you tonight. The nurses will give her more sugar water. I want you to have one more night of sleep before you leave.”
“Oh, but I can—”
“Not tonight,” he said firmly but cheerfully. “We’ll leave you alone now for your lesson. Goodbye, Emma.”
Ryan didn’t know whether to add his goodbye or not. Maybe it would be best if he just faded from view.
When he and Steve reached the hallway, he walked beside his friend, saying nothing.
“You know,” Steve finally said, “I’m disappointed in you, Ryan.”
Ryan’s head snapped up and he stared at his friend. “What? Why?”
“I thought you’d make a little more effort to support Emma. I think the past few months have been difficult for her.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Ryan demanded, his voice hoarse. “Do you think I haven’t condemned myself over and over again for the way I treated her? But she doesn’t want anything from me. She hardly speaks to me, avoids looking at me. If she had anyone else to turn to, she wouldn’t be coming home with me. That much was clear.”
Steve shook his head. “I’m not so sure. She could be afraid to get close to you again.”
“Yeah, because she hates me.” He started walking again. “I’m doing what I can. She’ll be taken care of, and I’ll keep my distance. That’s the best I can do to help her out.”
This time, Steve didn’t argue with him.
After an almost sleepless night, Ryan arrived at the hospital a little early the next morning. He’d talked to Jack yesterday evening and knew Beth was going home today, too. Jack had arranged for a temporary housekeeper to help Beth during the day when he returned to work as the only local attorney.
Ryan knocked on Beth’s door.
“Come in,” Jack called.
Newborn Daddy (The Baby Secret) Page 3
