It seemed a monumental task but she raised her hand and gently pushed Madame de Laval away. “No, please, Madame. Mr. Arudale—” She couldn’t go on, couldn’t say the words that would solidify his ownership of her.
“Call me Louise.” She backed away with a sigh. “We shall wait for his permission then.”
“Permission?” Permission for what? Sarah was afraid to ask.
“Perry’s permission to fuck you,” Mr. Asher said bluntly.
She whirled around and glared at the man even as her pulse accelerated with excitement. “Mr. Arundale might give you permission, but I do not, sir.”
“You say he has no say in the destruction of the bond between you,” Madame de Laval said in a curious tone. “Yet you clearly agree to his domination over you.”
“I am engaged to be his wife. That gives him some rights, but not over who I—I…” she trailed off, unable to say the words aloud.
“Who you fuck,” Mr. Asher said them for her, amusement in his tone. “You were right, ma cherie. She is completely in love with him.”
“She doesn’t believe he loves her,” Madame mused. “I wonder why. He’s clearly stopped drinking, which can only be because of her.”
“You are mistaken, Madame,” she said quickly. “I understand his health demanded his abstinence. It was no action of mine.”
“Yet you seem to have wrought a great change in his behavior,” Madame said calmly. “He has not been talked of in six months.” She smiled. “And he arrives in London to be married. Would that not be because of you?”
“On the contrary. I was with the Arundales for three years and he never deigned to accept my help. His transformation has nothing to do with me.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her tone. Perhaps he would have suffered less if she had helped him better.
“So you tried to sober him up and failed, is that it?” Mr. Asher said in a sharp tone. “And now that he’s reformed you seek to punish him?”
“That is unfair and untrue,” Sarah snapped.
Mr. Asher’s lips twisted in a parody of a smile. “Is it? He offers his protection but he has offended you so he must pay, isn’t that correct?”
“Cy,” Madame said gently.
Sarah tipped her chin. “Am I to take scraps then? His protection? Assuage his guilt?”
Mr. Asher sneered at her. “I’m sure it will not be enough for a lady with delicate sensibilities.”
“If you mean my desire to be more than a man’s piece of property then yes, you are correct.”
Madame de Laval laid a hand on Mr. Asher’s arm “Enough. She is not your sister.”
“The man is suffering,” Mr. Asher said, and stared accusingly at Sarah.
“It is not her fault,” the woman said. “She is suffering too.”
The twist of pain on the man’s face made Sarah wince in sympathy. Mr. Asher rose abruptly and bowed to Sarah. “My apologies.” Without another word he left the room.
“What have I done to offend him?” Sarah asked, bewildered and confused.
Madame’s gaze remained fixed on the door Mr. Asher had exited through. “Cy once drank much as Perry did, though for different reasons. He was near ruin when he realized his folly and stopped.” She took a deep breath and smiled faintly. “His only remaining family, a sister, never forgave him for his past. You see, he humiliated her many times and she hates him for that. It’s been ten years since he’s had a drink but still she refuses to see him.”
“That’s horrible,” Sarah said in a whisper.
“Yes. He was very young when he began his path of self-destruction and not much over twenty-three when he swore off wine.” Madame shook her head. “I only tell you so that you will know that you can implicitly trust him. He would never betray someone to the talk of the ton. Enough. This has little to do with your circumstances. Now, Perry will return soon and we must get you ready to meet him.”
As Madame and Sarah climbed the stairs to prepare for her wedding she thought about Cyril Asher and his sister. Sarah had not rejected Perry’s claim because of his past but he could not know that.
To be honest with herself, even in her own mind, she had to admit she was hurt that Perry had not Claimed her when he took the innocence she freely gave him. She was aware that he’d done it to give her some choice in her future but there was still a part of her that believed she wasn’t enough for him. In truth she couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d taken her virginity as punishment for her lies. Had they been on an equal footing she couldn’t be sure he’d have courted her at all. Only the bloodline she’d inherited had determined he wanted her. Not her own self.
Why would she regret that he had not Claimed her? After all, Lady North had stated that Sarah could not break the curse if he did. Wasn’t it better that he’d only taken her innocence but left her unclaimed? It should have been. However, her feelings seemed to be at odds with reason.
Madame de Laval helped Sarah to unbutton her dress and gasped at the state of her back. “These are not marks of pleasure.”
“No. I was whipped by the Duke of Kent to torment Perry.” She tightened her lips. “It is ridiculous but Perry believes he owes me a debt for these marks.”
“And you do not?” Madame de Laval’s question held no judgment as she helped Sarah out of her dress and into one that had been laid out for her.
“No woman wants to be married to satisfy a debt,” Sarah said in a quiet voice.
“Sarah, I hope you will let me give you a piece of unwanted advice,” Madame de Laval said as she pinned Sarah’s hair.
“I would appreciate any word from you, Madame.” Sarah met the woman’s gaze in the glass.
“A man’s heart is often clouded by his honor and his pride. A woman of worth will remain faithful to him until he clears away the things that hide his true feelings.” Her expression was sorrowful and her mouth drooped in regret. “It is presumptuous for me to speak of this. My first husband married me because my parents wished it. As a young girl I longed for romance and love, and my marriage did not provide enough for me.” She took a deep breath and released it, the topic clearly difficult for her. “I was a poor keeper of a man’s heart and I hurt him dreadfully. I bore him no children and gave him no comfort. He waited until my selfish behavior was generally exposed, which is a testament to his patience.” The woman brushed some of Sarah’s curls, her focus on the past. “I learned too late to appreciate love, but I learned. That Cy came into my life is God’s blessing on a woman who did not deserve it.”
Sarah turned and gripped Madame’s hands. “That is not true. You were always good to my mother despite the cold reception you received from my family. You helped Perry when he was in trouble. You seem most worthy of God’s blessing.”
Madame clasped Sarah’s hands and smiled. “Perry is right. You are very sweet and passionate. You give me the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you could give him the same consideration.”
Sarah cleared her throat. “When did Perry tell you that I was sweet?” Had Perry spoken about her during some illicit tryst? How could he?
“I’m afraid he was in his cups,” Madame de Laval said with a secret smile. “This was…let me see, Michaelmas last year?”
Before Joshua Arundale had come home. Before the Duke of Kent had damaged her reputation. Her heart froze and she pressed her lips together, so fearful of the words that rose in her mind. She said them anyway. “Madame, I love him so much that my heart breaks. I watched him struggle and fail for years. I will not force an obligation based on a wicked curse on him now.”
“Oh my sweet girl. Every step he takes proves his tender feelings for you.” Madame turned Sarah back toward the mirror and finished her toilette. “Be his wife, Sarah. Love him as you would have him love you.”
“I cannot,” Sarah said quietly. “The curse binds us together, not love. I will marry him, but only as a way to do what must be done.”
Madam sighed and stroked her shoulder. “If he loves you, whether due to
a curse or for your sweet body, it is more than many women receive.”
“I would take less from any other man, Madame. But not from him.”
“I wish I could say I do not understand,” Madame answered. “But I do.” She smiled and lifted Sarah to her feet. “There. You are even more beautiful.”
She stared at her reflection. Madam had loaned her a full-length ivory dress with a high waist and a modest neckline. The sleeves stretched over her arms and gave her a regal appearance. Her red hair, usually completely unruly and kept in a tight bun, was loose and curled in the latest fashion.
Around her neck she wore the only jewelry she had received from her mother, a necklace with a round locket.
She looked like a bride.
Her heart pounded and she couldn’t breathe. What was she thinking?
A knock on the door made her jump, and a maid appeared. “Madam, Mr. Perry Arundale is downstairs for the lady.”
“Time to go,” Madame said briskly. “Come, Sarah.”
She closed her eyes, rose and stepped into the hall. As she went down the stairs she reminded herself that she was doing this to end the curse, that Perry would hasten her travel to France, that this marriage would mean nothing once she’d accomplished her goal.
But in the front hall her gaze met Perry’s. He was handsome in a tailored gray suit and a blue cravat, and all she could see was the man she loved.
Everything else seemed inconsequential. She took her courage in both hands and took Perry’s outstretched fingers.
Chapter Four
Stunning. Beautiful. Perry couldn’t speak when she took his hand, her gaze locked with his. His throat tightened and he resisted the urge to drag her closer, show her exactly how she affected him. “Sarah,” he said, his voice strained.
“Mr. Arundale.” She curtsied and he stared helplessly. He had to take himself to task. He was about to take her to a church and marry her, not take her as he desperately wanted. But the beast within growled and leaped to be free to Claim its mate in the most basic way.
Jaimison handed her the flowers that Perry had bought for her and she took them. Her eyes softened and she smiled at him. “A sprig of heather?”
“It reminded me of home.” He pulled her closer. “It reminded me of you.”
“Mr. Arundale—” She sounded breathless and her eyes widened. “Did you see my brother?”
Perry sighed and loosened his hold. “Yes, I did. He was well aware that Lady North was in town, since he was the one who summoned her.”
Sarah’s face was pinched and bleak. “I wish I could be surprised but I am not.”
“He hoped to begin a bidding war, pitting Lady North’s desire to stop the wedding against my desire to wed.” Perry gave Sarah a steady look. “But I informed him that he could be present today or not but the marriage would go through.”
“He can’t stop it?” she asked, and her voice shook. Did she hope that her selfish brother would save her from him? Maybe she did.
“No, my dear.” He dropped his hand from hers. “I am afraid you will have to resign yourself to being my wife.”
She opened her mouth as if she would say more but pressed her lips together and gripped his arm. “Shall we go?”
He winced at the sad, bitter tone of her capitulation. Part of him thought he should back out and not force her into this union. But he knew it had to be done, that he would have to show her he cared for her while she was unwillingly bound to him in holy matrimony.
As he led her to the carriage, Louise pulled on his sleeve. “A moment.”
Sarah gave Louise a silent, pleading glance, then took Jaimison’s arm to the carriage.
“What is it, Madame?” he asked, his gaze still on Sarah’s back.
“I do not think I will go along with your plan for this evening.” Her voice was serious.
Surprised, he stared at her. “You don’t think physical passion will lead to the connection she seeks to deny?”
“I think physical passion will definitely lead to that connection but not what you had in mind for tonight.” Louise placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I am thrilled that you thought to share her with us but she loves you. Just the suggestion that Cy and I wanted her brought out the passion she felt for you. Take her tonight. Just you.”
“Love me?” He snorted. “You are imagining things. She will reject me, afraid that I will bind her to me in a much more permanent way than words said in a church.” Perry couldn’t stop the fear from coloring his voice.
“Perhaps,” Louise said in a thoughtful tone. She shook her head. “You are probably correct about her sensual nature, but leave it for another time. Tonight, show her she belongs to you.” Louise smiled and patted his cheek. “Now go and get married.”
“Louise—” he started, but she put her fingers over his lips and shook her head.
He climbed into the carriage and looked back. Louise and Cy stood in the door, arm in arm, clearly in love with each other. He envied them. When he turned to his future wife he despaired a little.
Her arms were crossed and her lips were tightened into a disagreeable scowl. She stared out the carriage window and would not look at him.
“What is it, my dear?”
“Don’t you dare call me that you…you monster,” she snapped, and her lips trembled.
Any softness he felt dissipated. “I’m not sure you know what a monster truly is. It does not matter. You will be my wife.”
She tipped her chin and glared at him. “And you can sleep with whomever you wish?”
He stared at her. She thought that he’d— The idea was ludicrous and he couldn’t help himself. He laughed long and hard, the first humor he’d felt in weeks.
Sarah, however, was not amused.
Perry shook his head. “I have never slept with Madame de Laval and have no intention of being her lover.”
Sarah froze. “But she said— She implied that you’d made arrangements,” she said, her blue eyes clouded with confusion.
“I planned an evening for your pleasure.”
She glared at him. “To give me to strangers?”
“When I asked Leo if you had a preference he said you enjoyed watching threesomes.” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m well aware that my partial claiming has left you…wanting.”
The sound of his future bride’s gasp only made him want her more. Her face flushed with color and she was breathless when she spoke. “I require no extra effort on your part.”
“And yet I will be at your service,” he said, the apparent double entendre making her swallow nervously.
For a moment her lips parted and her eyes glazed, and he thought he’d won. But she was made of sterner stuff. “I will break the curse and you will no longer be obligated.”
Did she believe that was why he offered to give her pleasure? If she thought breaking the curse was going to change their bond one iota, she was sadly mistaken. “I promise you that I will keep my word. But I’m giving you fair warning, bride. Once you are mine I will keep you, Claiming or not.”
Her gaze jerked to his face, her eyes wide. “But if I break the curse, you will be free, able to start a new life.”
She was convinced that if it wasn’t for the curse he wouldn’t want her. There was no way to convince her but to show her his devotion. “You are my new life, Sarah Ayers.”
It was clear she didn’t believe him, but the carriage stopped. He exited and helped her down. She seemed small and fragile in the ivory dress and white slippers. Her hand gripped his arm. “Is my brother to see me to the altar?”
“No. I relieved Mr. Ayers of his obligation. Jaimison did a little digging while I was…indisposed.” That was a delicate way to put it. While Perry had shook and trembled, tied to a bed, barely conscious of reality, Jaimison had sought out Sarah’s people. One man had seemed to feel kindly toward a young girl left without mother or father.
They entered the church and Sarah’s hand jumped beneath his, a small sound of happiness es
caping her lips. “Dr. Vanguard,” she said, and rushed forward.
Jaimison had discovered that Dr. Evan Vanguard had been Sarah’s tutor when she was a young girl. He was an older gentleman, near seventy years old, his gait slow and his knuckles gnarled with age.
Sarah rushed to the older man and clasped his hands in hers. “How good of you to come.”
“Your young man was persuasive,” Dr. Vanguard said, giving Perry a sharp glance. “He seemed to think I would be needed.”
“Oh yes,” Sarah said, her voice shaky. To Perry’s surprise, she turned to him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her lips to his cheek. “Thank you.”
Before he could respond she stepped away and locked arms with her old tutor. “Lead the way, Dr. Vanguard.”
Perry watched his future bride stride through the narthex, his hand on his cheek where she’d kissed him.
* * * * *
The ceremony had touched Perry in a surprising way and he found his tenderness toward Sarah increased as they exited the church. She said a tearful farewell to Dr. Vanguard and took Perry’s arm to step into the carriage.
She was his. The sense of relief was incredible. He could protect her now. The beast beneath his skin wanted to howl and the man was elated. Tonight he would show her his passion, his need for her.
Madame de Laval’s residence was dimly lit as they arrived, and Sarah clasped her hands together in that familiar nervous gesture. “It was nice of Lord Alfred to attend.”
Perry stepped down from the carriage and turned to grip her waist to lift her to the ground. “He likes you.”
“What made you think of Dr. Vanguard?” she said a little breathlessly.
“I thought he would be a better choice than your brother.” Perry didn’t mention that Walter Ayers had been more than happy to relinquish the responsibility of walking Sarah down the aisle. Or that it had taken Jaimison almost four months to find the man.
Perry sensed that Sarah was nervous, frightened. He wanted to reassure her but found he was enjoying her plight. He wanted her off balance since he intended to do everything to that sweet body but release his seed in it.
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