by Amber Garr
“Why not?” Vee snapped.
“Because your head’s not in the right place.”
“Well I can’t stay here and wallow in my sorrows,” Vee argued.
“What about Karen?”
“What about her? She’s dying. And I can’t do anything about it.” Tears rimmed Vees eyes.
Sasha stood straight and rested her hands on her hips. She always did that when being challenged. “Aren’t you taking care of her?” Sasha asked.
“Josh can do it.”
Sasha looked past Vee and over her shoulder toward Josh and Karen before she spoke again. “You’re too young.”
“I’m the same age as Zach and I’m a better fighter!”
“Hey!” I shouted. “I’m a strong—”
“Being young is good,” Max cut me off. “If they get caught, they can get out of the draft.”
“We won’t get caught,” Vee mumbled.
Sasha scrutinized Max for several moments. Whatever she saw must have satisfied her, because she focused on Vee again and nodded. “Okay, you can go.”
Vee caught my eye and I knew what was passing through her mind. Sasha had just given her permission like a mother would. And not even Vee’s own mother could control her daughter at all times. Vee didn’t like to ask for permission. I tried to plead with her through my eyes to just drop it and keep her mouth shut. Now wasn’t the time to fight with Sasha. Thankfully, she complied.
“We’ll leave at dawn,” Max said. “Finish making a list of everything we need and let’s hope that we get lucky.”
We’d been dismissed so that Max and Sasha could make a plan. I wanted to argue that we were old enough to be included in the plan making, but decided to take the higher road for once. Mostly because I’d watched Vee stomped away in frustration and I wanted to do anything to make her feel better.
But I only took a few steps before I was accosted by a certain young boy. “Can you teach me now?” Hunter asked.
“Teach you what?”
“How to stab people!”
“Hunter,” I sighed. “You’re too young to have to be thinking about these things.” But even as the words left my lips, I knew that was a lie. Hunter had to learn to survive just as much as we did.
“What if I get chased by dogs again?” he argued.
“Why were you out by yourself, anyway?”
Hunter hung his head and bit his lip. “I had to run away.”
“From your last group?”
He nodded. “We were getting attacked and Lana told me to run into the woods. So I did.”
We started walking toward the flat area where we slept. “Attacked by the government or other deserters?”
Hunter shrugged. “Deserters I think. They came when it was dark.”
I thought back to when I was nine. Football, soccer, and video games completed my life then. It was bad enough Vee and I had lost our chance at college, but Hunter had lost his entire childhood. Damn these stupid wars.
“What are you guys doing?” Vee asked.
I stopped, her voice startling me. “Zach was going to teach me how to stab someone,” Hunter said.
Vee raised her brows. “Oh really?”
“No,” I clarified. “Hunter doesn’t have to see something like that, let alone kill someone.” I grabbed him by the shoulders and bent forward so that our heads were close. “Trust me, Hunter. You don’t ever want to take someone’s life.” My gut roiled in guilt. One year later and I still had nightmares about the soldier I’d killed on the day we’d escaped from the supply station.
“You’ve killed someone?” he asked, once again with too much enthusiasm.
“He has,” Vee cut in when I didn’t answer right away. “And it was awful.”
“So how did you do it?” Hunter asked me.
“I don’t even remember,” I said. “It all happened too fast.”
Hunter looked at Vee. “Just like the dogs, right?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Like the way you sliced that one in half? You didn’t even think.”
Vee glanced at me with a question written on her face. How do we handle this? I didn’t have a good answer for her. “I guess,” she finally said. “It was him or Zach. And as much as I hated killing a dog,” Vee paused and visibly shivered, “it had to be done. To protect you and to protect Zach.”
“Exactly!” Hunter shouted. “That’s why I need to learn. Just in case.”
Vee wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. If you can help Sasha take care of the camp while we’re gone, I’ll show you some moves when we get back. Deal?”
“Deal!” Hunter said a little too loudly.
The sun had almost set and any noise that ricocheted through the woods at night put everyone on edge. Both Vee and I laughed and helped him settle for bed. He insisted on sleeping next to us again. I suppose I didn’t mind, and although I wanted to talk to Vee about her mom, she seemed content to succumb to Hunter’s repeated requests.
****
When we woke in the morning, somehow Hunter had finagled himself between the two of us. His legs pushed against my thighs and his arms were splayed over top of Vee’s stomach. She smiled at me when I met her eyes, the blues in them glowing in the early morning sun.
“What’s this?” I mouthed to her.
She giggled and said, “Beats me.”
For a little while, time seemed to stand still. Vee smiled and even laughed. After everything that had happened that past few days, there was still some hope left in her. I hated seeing her so ready to give up on life just a day ago. While I understood exactly the pain she was dealing with, I really didn’t think I’d survive this world if something happened to her.
Max walked over and looked down at us expectantly. “I know, I know,” I said. “We’re up.”
Just ten minutes later, we’d left our camp behind and started our journey to Pikesville. We expected it to take most of the morning to get to our destination. With mountains, streams, and unknown territory to cross, I figured it would be a miracle if we got to the town before nightfall.
“Tonight’s plan is simply to raid,” Max said after we’d been hiking in silence. “We don’t want to be seen. We don’t want to engage.”
“Do you ever not talk like a cyborg?” I asked. Max turned around to look at me, and even though his narrowed eyes told me that he wasn’t amused, I continued. “I mean, you’re like a machine. And a drill sergeant. A machine sergeant.”
“Really, Zach?” Vee sighed. “Sorry, Max. He doesn’t like long silences.”
I looked over my shoulder and glared at Vee. “What are you talking about?”
She adjusted the bag on her back and smiled. “You can’t stand it when things are quiet for too long. I think your brain just goes into shock. And then you just spit out anything that flies through there.”
“I do not,” I argued.
“You do,” Max said, making Vee laugh.
“Thanks, Max,” she added.
“Whatever. You two can just live inside your boring brains for the next five hours for all I care.” After their chuckles at my expense, they both slipped deep into their thoughts again. And I realized just how right Vee had been. I hated the silence. “So, Max, how did you and Sasha meet?” I asked.
Vee’s laugh carried through the trees like a welcomed breeze. And while I hated that she was laughing at me, at least she was smiling.
Surprisingly, Max answered after a few, long moments. “Boot camp.”
“What?” I asked at the same time Vee said, “Really?”
Max made a noise and suddenly turned around so that he was facing us. Walking backwards, he continued. “A long time ago. In the Army.”
I suppose at some point I’d realized they both must have had some technical training, but I guess I’d never thought much more about it until now. “So you’ve known each other since then?”
“Not really,” he said, and turned back around and continued leading us over the terrain. “We were sent to separate places. We didn’t even meet again until the wars started.”
This was the most Max had ever spoken to us and for some reason I didn’t want it to end. I guess him regaling us in stories helped take our mind off of the real reason we were all traipsing through these mountains together. “How long ago?”
He paused a second. “About two years ago, I guess.” Max shrugged and shifted the rifle on his back. “We’d both already left the military but ironically ended up finding each other again at a supply station.”
Vee raised her brows and made a kissing motion with her lips. I tried not to let Max hear me laugh and covered it with a question instead. “And you two decided that a life pissing in the woods would be a better situation, right?” Vee elbowed me.
“We decided that what we saw happening wasn’t okay. We’d left the job but friends of ours were still serving. And they filled us in on what was happening at some of the facilities down south.”
“What do you—”
Max held up his hand and we both instantly stopped behind him. We’d been following the water, but from above in the cover of the trees. So as I looked around to see what had him on edge, I found that I couldn’t see a damn thing.
“Max—”
His hand motions cut me off again. Swinging the rifle around from its resting position on his back into his capable hands, he slowly eased forward. Vee and I mimicked him, both of us pulling out the hand guns we’d been given “just for this trip” according to Sasha. We’d practiced our aim over the past few months, ever since our fathers disappeared. But neither one of us was a precision shooter at this point. In fact, I still preferred my knives and I was pretty sure Vee would rather have her sword in hand than that gun. Although a gun could be useful from a distance.
A few seconds later, I heard them. Max crouched to the ground, signaling us to do the same. Then we all slowly crawled about twenty feet until we had the vantage point Max wanted. “I feel like I’m G.I. Joe,” I whispered to Vee. “And you could be G.I. Jane,” I suggested.
Vee shook her head and told me to shush. Max gave me the evil eye.
As we got closer to the edge of the embankment that would have taken us down to the water, I heard the voices again. People were…. laughing…and singing. A sound that seemed so rare nowadays, I was surprised how sad I felt all of a sudden. And then I had a whiplash of emotions and wanted to be angry at them for enjoying the day so much. How dare they be happy?
Max crawled forward and aimed his rifle like a sniper. It certainly made me wonder about his military past. “It looks like another deserter camp,” he whispered.
“They don’t have much,” Vee said, looking through the binoculars and pressing her body into the ground as much as possible. I kind of hated how natural she was at this stuff. “Unless they’re hiding a stash somewhere, there’s nothing there worth raiding.”
Max and I both gestured for the binoculars, but Vee passed them to Max. I huffed and hoped that she would understand how not cool that just was. “You’re right,” Max agreed. “Good call.”
Vee smiled at him and I suddenly had to suppress a raging surge of jealousy. “What are you both talking about?” I asked in a hushed voice. “Isn’t that water and aren’t they carrying guns?” I didn’t have the binoculars, but I did have vision.
“Yes and yes,” Vee said. “But there isn’t a lot of water and I only counted two guns. It’s not worth it.”
“It’s always worth it,” I insisted. “We need guns and ammo. We need water and food.” I pointed to the group below. “And they have it!” Max started to crawl backwards and I whipped my head around at him in defeat. “Where are you going?” I snapped.
“To Pikesville,” he said.
“But we need—-Vee where are you going?”
“To Pikesville,” she whispered, but I heard the tone.
“You’re both acting crazy. We should go down there and—”
“And what?” Max interrupted. “And have the three of us fight at least a dozen of them and still come out of it unscathed? No, Zach. We need to pick our battles with our brains.”
“Come on, Zach,” Vee whispered. “Before they see us.”
Vee and Max crawled backward until they were almost out of sight. I stayed put, wondering how I’d been dismissed by both of them so quickly. Looking back down at the people enjoying this pitiful type of existence, I felt the rage growing inside. Max had asked me on this trip and now he ignored me. Vee didn’t know any more than I did, and yet her opinion mattered. And those people were just too happy.
“Zach!”
Max’s voice cut through the trees and incited even more rage. But I couldn’t understand why I felt so angry. Maybe I did need to attack something.
“Zach!” Max said again and waved me over. He was hunched behind a tree, waiting for me to join them. I looked back down over the hill and thought about attacking. “Don’t you dare!” Max hissed, knowing what I was thinking.
With a sigh, I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t say anything. And as I crawled backwards to join Vee and Max, I tried to shake the unexplained rage boiling inside of me.
Zach was an idiot.
I could see it written all over his face. He wanted to defy Max’s orders and I had a feeling it was because I’d been the one to suggest that we leave that camp alone. Ever since we were kids, we had this kind of unspoken competition going on between us. Perhaps it was because we were so close. Or maybe it was just a male/female thing. But either way, Zach needed to grow up and get over himself before he got us all killed.
“What were you thinking?” I asked once he joined us. “They could have seen you!”
He rolled his eyes. “They weren’t going to see me anymore than they would have seen you.”
“You need to listen, Zach. When Max says it’s time to move, we move!”
“Vee, stop—”
“She’s right,” Max interrupted. “You need to listen, no matter what.” He looked down at me with a scowl. “I invited you along because I thought you understood that. But if you disobey me again, I’ll send you home.”
“Disobey?” Zach squeaked.
“When we get into Pikesville, we won’t have any room for second guessing orders. When I tell you to run, you run. And if I tell you to ignore something, you don’t even look at it again. Do I make myself clear?”
I took a step back, a little frightened at Max’s tone. Maybe he had been a drill sergeant. I suddenly fought the urge to protect Zach from Max’s anger.
“Yes,” Zach said with a huff. “But I wasn’t going to attack them by myself.”
“I don’t care,” Max spat. “Now, let’s keep moving.”
As Max started to jog through the trees, Zach and I stayed silent. I did hate how Zach would sometimes make poor decisions, but I still didn’t like it when he felt bad. And from the way his shoulders slumped, I knew he must be hating himself right now. Zach didn’t like to fail, and I had a feeling that making Max angry was not something he would necessarily be proud of.
I, on the other hand, took the time in the silence to think about Max’s leadership style. While Sasha was the more vocal one, Max had a silent strong way about him that I admired. He’d started to train with me after my father disappeared. I didn’t know if it had been because he felt sorry for us or if it just hadn’t been appropriate for him to take that role while my dad was still alive. But I certainly felt like I’d learned a lot from him the past several months. At least I knew how to throw a punch without breaking my thumb and I could incapacitate an attacker in just three moves. Assuming I didn’t panic, that is.
Sometime during my wayward thoughts, we’d finished the rest of our journey. The last of the sun’s rays barely pushed past the tops of the mountains, the darkness swallowing everything else. We’d reached a clearing and could now
see the main highway leading into the town. Abandoned cars littered the side of the road, many of them damaged and covered in dirt.
“We need to get down there.” Max pointed to the western side of the town were a large fence now enclosed this government supply station.
“Wasn’t this a refugee camp?” Zach asked. It was the first time he spoke since Max yelled at him.
“Yeah,” Max said. “Until they started the draft. I’d heard they actually snatched people from their bedrooms and took them away to the government facilities.”
“Who told you that?” I asked.
“An old friend,” he said cryptically.
I wondered if it was one of his military buddies he spoke of earlier. But I also knew that Max was done talking about this by the way he’d shifted his body and grabbed the binoculars. Peering out into the night, Max scanned the fence line back and forth for several minutes while Zach and I waited.
“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Zach asked when Max lowered the binoculars.
“There are several holes cut into the fence over there.” Again, he pointed to the western gates far away from the entrance pointing north. “Probably made from other deserters getting in.”
“Or citizens trying to get out,” Zach said.
“Why didn’t they fix the holes?” I asked, and when they both looked at me I continued. “I mean, the soldiers. Why wouldn’t they try to stop people from coming in?”
“That’s a good question,” Max muttered.
“Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Zach asked. “It will get us inside.”
With a nod, we agreed with him. The “why” didn’t matter as long as it benefited us. “We need to get down to the other side,” Max said. “Let’s go.”
On his command, we ran through the thick meadow of weeds, thankful for their tall height and the cover of darkness. Max led and Zach took up the rear. I knew he did that because he thought he could protect me better that way, but the reality was that I didn’t need protection any more than he did. Plus, I hated hearing his loud footsteps behind me. One day that would surely get him caught.
