“Good night, Dad.”
Kendall stopped, surprised.
Tony looked worried. “Is it okay if I call you ‘Dad’?”
Damn, his heart was going to burst. “Yeah…it sounds good.”
Tony grinned. “Good.”
Kendall backed out of the room and closed the door, then exhaled.
It had been a near-perfect evening with his son—riding four-wheelers up to Clover Ridge to show Tony where he and his brothers had grown up, and explaining how the tornado had blown everything away. Tony had been fascinated by the story of his grandmother Emily and uncle Porter taking cover in the root cellar.
They had visited the cemetery and he’d shown Tony the grave of the grandfather he was named for, and the graves of Amy’s parents. They had trimmed weeds and cleared branches and picked up litter. Then they’d built a small fire pit next to the stacked logs drying for Porter’s house and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Tony had told him all about fantasy baseball, and taught him a few soccer terms.
The only way it would’ve been a nicer evening, Kendall thought as he walked toward Amy’s room, was if Amy had been with them.
He knocked on her door and his pulse ratcheted higher in anticipation of seeing her in her gown and robe.
She answered the door, but opened it only a few inches. “Hi.”
“Hi. He’s in bed.”
“Did you have a good time?”
He nodded. “Tony asked if he could call me ‘Dad.’”
Her lips parted, and the door opened a little wider, giving him a better peek at the gown and robe. “That’s…great.”
“So I guess now we’re Mom and Dad.”
“I guess so.” She bit her lip, then gestured into the room. “I have something to show you if you have a few minutes.”
As if he would turn down an invitation into her room. “Sure.”
He walked in, then closed the door behind him.
Amy had stepped to the closet and appeared to be rummaging through the side pockets of a suitcase. He enjoyed the view of her backside while she stooped and stretched. His jeans suddenly felt a little tighter.
“I remembered something,” came her muffled voice. “Ah, here it is.” She straightened, then turned, holding a small book. Her face was radiant with a happy smile. “When I used to travel more, I always carried a photo album with pictures of Tony. I thought you might want to see some pictures of him when he was younger.”
He smiled. “Show me.”
She walked over to sit on the edge of the made bed, seemingly oblivious to what it did to him to have her and a mattress in proximity to each other. He swallowed hard and lowered himself to sit next to her.
She opened the book. “Here is Tony at five days old.”
His son already looked like him, the eyebrows, the stubborn chin. Kendall studied the background of the picture, then frowned. “He was still in the hospital?”
“He was born with a respiratory problem, so they wanted to keep him a little longer.”
“Was it serious?”
“It was more scary than serious, and he didn’t have any permanent damage. He’s perfectly healthy now.”
His heart gave a squeeze. She’d been young and alone. She must have been terrified.
“Here he is at six months, look how much he’d grown. At that point, he would literally outgrow an outfit before he could wear it twice.”
She’d never contacted him for money, or any other kind of support. How had she worked and put herself through engineering school and taken care of a baby? His mind reeled.
“The rest of these were taken on his birthday, every year up until ten.”
Kendall could’ve been looking at his own baby pictures, Tony looked so much like him at every age. But the props were different—the soccer ball cake, the guitar video game he played. Kendall studied the pictures and saw the loving touches in the photos—friends his age, party favors and always a special cake. Amy had been a devoted mother to his son. To accuse her of anything less was only retaliation on his part.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
She smiled. “You’re welcome. I have more pictures at home, and I’ll have copies of everything made for you.”
“I meant thank you for raising my son and taking such good care of him.”
Her smile wavered. “You’re welcome.” Then she bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Kendall, for not telling you about Tony sooner. It was selfish of me.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me. I can’t imagine what you sacrificed to get by.” He lifted a hand to her face. “I admire you so much.”
Slowly, he leaned forward to kiss her, prepared to stop if she put up the slightest resistance.
But she didn’t. When his lips touched hers, she sighed into this mouth. His senses leapt as he curled his fingers around her neck and pulled her closer for a deeper kiss. He pressed her back into the covers and opened her robe, then skimmed the gown up to her thighs. She pulled his shirt over his head and helped loosen his belt. While he discarded his boots and jeans, she shed the gown. When Kendall came back to her, she reached for him and brought him to near ecstasy with her hands and mouth.
He rolled down the minuscule underwear she wore and tasted her damp folds until she cried out with her first orgasm. Then with the taste of her still on his lips, he sheathed himself, settled between her thighs and drove himself home.
Being buried inside Amy was heaven and torture at the same time. Every movement felt rapturous, but brought him closer to completion, which he wanted to postpone. He pushed his fingers into her hair and whispered encouragement to her and soon, their bodies were rising and falling together in another climax that made his mind spin.
Before his body had quieted, he wanted her again, and began a new, slower rhythm. He clasped her hands over her head and looked into her eyes while he moved inside her. She came apart in his arms, but still he claimed her, pumping into her until she succumbed a second time…then a third. Finally he took his own shattering release, clenching his muscles hard before falling exhausted on her breasts.
Kendall dressed as quietly as he could so as not to disturb Amy. He moved quickly because the sun was rising and he needed to get out of the boardinghouse before anyone saw him. It was Saturday morning, so everyone would be sleeping in a little later than usual, but he didn’t want to push his luck.
He opened the door a few inches. When he thought the coast was clear, he opened the door and stepped out into the hall.
Directly in front of Tony, who was dressed and headed toward Amy’s room.
Kendall froze and watched helplessly as Tony looked back and forth between his mother’s door and Kendall. Suddenly his expression morphed from confusion to clarity.
“You slept with my mom?” Tony cried.
Kendall lifted his hands. “Tony, let me explain.” But words failed him.
Amy’s door swung open and she stood there in her robe, her hair disheveled. She took one look at Tony and her eyes closed. “Oh, no.”
“You slept with my mom!” Tony yelled, going after Kendall with his fists like a windmill. “You disrespected her!”
Kendall let the boy pummel him, then he caught his fists. “Okay, settle down. Let’s talk about this without disturbing the entire house.”
“I don’t want to talk to you!” Tony said, pushing away. He was crying now. “All your dumb talk about responsibility and being a man. You weren’t being responsible when you got my mother pregnant, and you’re not being responsible now! You’re a hypocrite!”
Doors were opening and people were coming out into the hall.
“Kendall, you need to leave,” Amy said. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Now.”
“Let’s talk about this, like a family,” he said.
Amy looked at him, shaking her head. “That’s the point, Kendall. We’re not your family.”
He clasped her arm. “Amy, I don’t want to leave.”
&
nbsp; “Leave my mother alone!” Tony shouted, and started punching Kendall for all he was worth. “Get your hands off her!”
Kendall put his hands up and backed away. “Okay, I’m leaving.” He spoke to people he passed in the hallway. “Sorry for the disturbance, folks.”
He exited the boardinghouse feeling like the world’s biggest ass…and the world’s worst father. He would never forget the look on his son’s face when he realized what Kendall had done, what Kendall had taken. Tony was right—he was a hypocrite.
It was admirable that the boy was so protective of his mother.
And it was shameful that of the two guys in Amy’s life, Tony was the bigger man.
28
Amy felt the condemning stares of the women standing in the hallway of the boardinghouse. A choking sense of déjà vu washed over her. She was back in Sweetness, and being judged. Everyone knew everyone else’s business, things hadn’t changed at all.
“What are you looking at?” Tony shouted at them, putting out his arms to shield her.
They hid their children’s eyes and pulled them back into their rooms. Amy lifted a hand to her wild rat’s nest of red hair and pulled her robe closer around her. Mortified, she clasped Tony by the shirt-sleeve and tugged him into her room.
She closed the door, then panicked all over again by the disarray—her gown, her underwear, condom wrappers. She turned Tony toward the bathroom and marched him inside. “Stay in there until I tell you to come out. I’m going to get dressed.”
When the door closed she took a deep, cleansing breath and held it until her eyes watered, then exhaled, shaking.
This was bad. Her behavior went against everything she’d tried to teach him about intimate relationships between men and women. Heaped on top of his raw emotional state, it could be traumatizing. What had she been thinking to allow Kendall to stay the night?
She hadn’t been thinking, of course, only feeling…
To hide the disheveled, tangled sheets, she hurriedly made the bed and fluffed the pillows that clearly held the imprints of two occupants. She collected her undies and gown and tossed them in the hamper in the closet, then pulled on jeans, a shirt and sneakers in case Tony ran and she had to go after him. She wound up her unruly hair and secured it with a clip. The condom wrappers went to the bottom of the trash can, where her mind raced for the best way to handle this debacle.
She decided she’d have to fall back on what she’d always resorted to when it came to parenting Tony—instinct.
She’d have to wing it.
When the room was back in some semblance of order, she knocked on the bathroom door. “Tony? Can I come in?”
“Whatever.”
She opened the door and found him sitting in the bathtub, his head on his knees. She climbed in to sit opposite him. Her heart broke for him—he deserved so much better than two parents who couldn’t get it right.
After a few minutes of silence, she sighed. “I can’t imagine how confused you must be. Adults do stupid things sometimes, things even we don’t understand. Kids can’t be expected to figure it out.”
“I hate him,” he mumbled.
Her heart gushed. “Don’t hate him, Tony. I’m as much at fault as he is…actually, more, because it’s my job to protect you.”
He lifted his head. “I thought that was a father’s job, too.”
“The way he sees it, he is protecting you. He’s trying to convince me to stay in Sweetness so he can be near you.”
“So why doesn’t he just marry you?”
She smiled. “Because he doesn’t feel that way about me.”
“He wants to have sex with you, but he doesn’t want to marry you?”
She took her time answering. “Sometimes that goes both ways between men and women.”
“You mean you wouldn’t marry him, even if he asked?”
Her chest ached. “That’s right. Your father’s home is here in Sweetness, where it’s always been. The reason I left twelve years ago and didn’t tell him I was pregnant with you was because I didn’t want to live here. And that hasn’t changed.”
“So why did you come back?”
“His brother Marcus found out about you. Marcus asked me to come here to build the covered bridge to give me the chance to tell Kendall myself.” She gave him a pointed look. “But before I could tell him, you showed up.”
He picked at a seam on his jeans. “So…I was an accident?”
She reached forward to comb the hair that had grown long since he’d arrived out of his blue eyes. “The best accident in the whole world.” She lifted his chin. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything, don’t you know that?”
“I’m a lot of trouble.”
“Yeah…but you’re worth it.”
He lifted his hand to chew on his nails. “So now what?”
“We still have a plan. I have to finish the covered bridge and you have to finish school. We’ll go back home to Broadway, and we’ll work out something with your dad so the two of you can see each other as often as you want to see him.”
He scowled. “I don’t want to see him anymore—here or when we get home.”
He didn’t really mean that. “Seeing him while you’re here isn’t an option. You’re still working off your fine, remember?”
He looked down. “I remember.”
“And today’s Saturday, so he’ll be expecting you to spend the day with him.”
“I guess.” He was picking at the jeans seam again.
“Something else on your mind?” she asked.
“Is it his muscles?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is that why you want to have sex with him?”
She pulled back. “That’s an inappropriate question, young man.”
He shrugged. “I’m just asking because you’ve never had any other boyfriend. I thought maybe it was his muscles.”
Amy leaned her chin on her hand and sighed. She supposed it was as good an explanation as any as to why her heart couldn’t break free of Kendall Armstrong.
After the scene at Amy’s room that morning, Kendall was uncertain about coming back to pick up Tony for their usual Saturday of work, dinner on the grill and a sleepover at the bunkhouse. But when he pulled up in his pickup at their regular meet time, Tony was standing out front, with Amy.
Kendall’s stomach clenched. He’d hated to leave Amy alone to deal with the aftermath of such an awkward situation. It was his fault—he was the one who couldn’t keep his hands off of her.
A couple of women and their children exited the boardinghouse and cast a wary glance at Amy and Tony before veering in another direction. Kendall flashed back to the way some girls in high school had treated Amy because she didn’t have the nicest clothes and because she’d spent more than her fair share of time in the principal’s office.
His gut pinched. Amy was already leery of living in a small town. And now he’d single-handedly ruined her reputation among the women in the boardinghouse.
He emerged from his truck as Amy made her way toward him. Tony stayed behind, shuffling foot to foot. It made Kendall ill to know he was responsible for the pinched look on her pretty face, that, in fact, he’d been responsible for most of the trouble in her life. All because he hadn’t scooped her up twelve years ago when he’d had the chance, when she’d still had a light in her eyes for him.
If he had, everything would’ve been different. Tony would’ve had a father and he would’ve had a son. Amy’s life would’ve been infinitely easier.
And he would’ve had Amy.
His biggest mistake, he now realized, was giving her the time and space to learn how to live—and thrive—without him. She didn’t need him. She’d done just fine without him. Other than the great sex, there was no reason for her to be with him. And he knew she could get that anywhere if she were inclined—although the thought of another man in her bed made him sick to his stomach.
Now he’d bungled things so badly, he wasn’t sure where thi
ngs stood with her, or with Tony. Last night his son had called him “Dad” for the first time, and this morning he’d totally blown it. He was sure he’d blown his chance with Amy, too.
“Hi,” she said, offering the tiniest and briefest smile.
“Hi. How bad was it?”
“Not good,” she confirmed. “But Tony and I talked and things are marginally better. I have to warn you, though, he didn’t want to see you today.”
That hurt. “I understand.”
“But he knows he has a responsibility to work off the fine. Try to get him to talk, and answer his questions as honestly as you can.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I have a feeling he’ll have more questions for you than he had for me.”
“Okay,” he said, suddenly nervous.
“Just remember—you’re still his father. Don’t let him disrespect you.”
His admiration for Amy rose even higher. She handled the boy well…and him, too, he realized. She started to walk away, but he put his hand on her arm. “Amy.”
She turned back.
He swallowed hard. “How are we?”
She gave him a sad little smile. “We’re the same, Kendall.”
Remorse washed over him as she walked away. But he had to put on a good face for Tony, who walked over and climbed in the truck without saying anything. The way he slammed the door, though, spoke volumes.
“I guess I deserve that,” Kendall offered. “Do you want to talk about what happened this morning?”
“No,” Tony said, his voice belligerent.
“Fair enough. If you change your mind, let me know.” He put the truck in gear. “I thought we’d give your uncle Porter a hand today. He’s on the land out past the covered bridge clearing off a spot where we’re going to build a laboratory.”
Tony’s eyebrows furrowed. “What kind of laboratory?”
Kendall checked the rearview mirror, then pulled away. “A scientist wants to come to Sweetness to study kudzu.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a vine that grows over things—trees, houses, anything in its path if it’s allowed to get out of control.” He pointed to a copse of trees on the side of the road that had been consumed. “That’s kudzu. Down here we call it the mile-a-minute vine because it seems to grow that quickly.”
Baby, Come Home Page 18
