by Hazel Jacobs
The band cheers when Dash and Tessa come downstairs for breakfast the next morning. Tessa buries her face in Dash’s neck to hide her blush, and she feels his hand curl around her hip, a mixture of possessiveness and comfort.
“Look at the happy couple,” Slate shouts when he sees the pair of them. He and Harper high-five.
All around them, other hotel guests studiously ignore the rowdy table. As far as hotel dining rooms go, it’s not the fanciest one they’ve been in. That was in New Orleans, where each table came with its own chandelier. It’s a nice room full of long tables, each with its own miniature buffet in the center that regularly gets topped-up by the waiters floating around the room.
Dash tugs Tessa around to the table and pulls out a chair for her. “Just ignore them,” he mutters into her ear. “They do this with all the new girls.”
Tessa just bites her tongue and tries to look like she isn’t hoping that the earth will open up and swallow her. It’s taken everything in her not to wince when she sat down, she’s still a little sore from last night.
It’s one thing to tell Dash she loves him while they’re safe and alone in his hotel room, but quite another when she’s confronted with his make-shift family. She has a sudden flash of memory to back when she was in high school, bringing boys home to meet her dad. There was always an edge of anxiety to these interactions for her because it always felt like he was judging them by some standard that she wasn’t even aware of. And that he knew on some level they were kissing her and touching her, doing all manner of things that she wouldn’t want her dad to know.
But as she looks around the breakfast table, she slowly begins to relax. Because yes, the people looking at her are well aware that her relationship with Dash began with sexting. They’re all probably painfully aware of how Dash is in bed because they’ve even made jokes about it on stage for thousands of people to hear.
There’s no judgment in their faces, though. Only joy. Slate and Tommy are exchanging knowing looks and ribbing Dash when he finally sits down.
Sersha examines Tessa’s neck and clicks her tongue over the hickeys. “I’ve got a cream for that,” she says. Her own pale skin looks blemish-free, so Tessa thinks that whatever this cream is must be good.
Harper reaches under the table to give Tessa’s hand a squeeze and a massive smile.
Even Mikayla is grinning widely, as though she can’t even begin to hide it. She even takes her phone out and snaps a picture, as though this is a moment that needs to be documented. As though this is important—Tessa and Dash, and their first breakfast together as a couple.
But no one at the table is smiling wider than Logan. He looks like what Tessa imagines he must have looked like on Christmas morning when he was a boy, like the very thought of possibility was enough to make him burst. He looks at Dash from across the table, and there’s so much pride in his gaze that eventually Tessa has to look away. It’s starting to blind her.
Is that how I’ll look when one of my younger brothers starts dating seriously? she wonders.
Probably.
Dash dishes up breakfast while Tessa gropes for the coffee. He starts piling a plate with toast, jam, and fruit, and Tessa only has a moment to wonder why he’s picking foods that he never eats for breakfast before he plunks the plate down in front of her.
“There you go,” he says.
She wonders if he’d Googled ‘how to be a good boyfriend’ at some point because that shit is textbook.
“Thanks,” she says, kissing him on the cheek.
Tommy, Logan, and Slate all speak at the same time, “Aww, feelings!”
And together, their girlfriends and wife smack them on the backs of their heads.
Tessa thinks that it won’t be long before she, too, joins the strange hive mind that is Black Lilith. It won’t be long before she knows all the inside jokes, before she can banter with the men like a pro, before she can pick the quirks of each of the women. It won’t be long before she knows Mikayla’s favorite ice-cream, Tommy’s favorite song, and Harper’s favorite brand of deodorant. Sure, these things generally take time to learn, but she’s not going anywhere.
She glances over at Dash and, as if he can hear her thoughts, he turns and winks at her.
“So,” Slate says, leaning across Harper’s lap so he can speak to Tessa. “Did you get any interesting calls last night?”
Tessa is confused for a moment. What the hell does he mean by that? Did someone call her or Dash while they’d been together? Had she missed something important?
Then she remembers—the butt-dial that she’d overheard in the bathroom.
“You sneaky bastard.”
Slate doesn’t even look a little bit sorry. “Just be thankful I didn’t have to rent a limo this time.”
“You’re all menaces,” she says.
Her voice attracts Dash’s attention, and she quickly rushes to cover it up. She’ll explain later when they’re not surrounded by his family. And she will explain. There will be no secrets between them ever again if she has something to say about it.
“Hey, Logan… I’ve been thinking,” Dash says, poking at his own plate—eggs and bacon, much more Dash-themed than the one he’d made for her—and attempting to look nonchalant despite the sudden tension in his shoulders. Tessa reaches over to run a soothing hand over his knee, reacting before she even knows what he’s stressed out about. “You know how we’ve got that break from touring and writing scheduled for September?”
“Yeah?” Logan replies. He’s finally started eating again, but he still can’t wipe the grin off his face, so he looks a little bit like a demented Joker when he answers. “Thanks for scheduling that, Mik. We’ve been touring non-stop for nearly a year, it’s time for a break.”
Mikayla waves off the compliment.
“Well, I was thinking… since it’s September and we don’t have anything planned… maybe I could apply to, like, an online course or something?”
Silence falls, and Tessa’s heart immediately leaps into her throat. That’s huge for Dash. To offer such a significant change when he’s felt more and more like the rest of the band—his brother in particular—has been pushing him into it. Tessa half-wonders if this is Dash’s way of capitulating, of giving in, and accepting that the band wants him gone—which, to her mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Dash…” Logan says. He looks around the room, perhaps checking to see if anyone is watching them. Then he leans forward so that only the people at the table can hear him. “We talked about this, man. I don’t want you to leave, I never did.”
It’s a testament to how close everyone at that table is that no one seems uncomfortable. Tessa does, a little bit, but that’s because she’s new. Everyone else looks like they’re just concerned about Dash.
But Dash, thankfully, just rolls his eyes. “I know that, dickhead,” he says fondly. “I said online, didn’t I? As in I can do them from anywhere? I’d never be able to learn on campus with our schedule.” He leans back and shrugs like it’s no big deal, even though the eyes of everyone at the table are fixed on him. “I… uh, I looked up some stuff. Stanford does an interesting MOOC on mathematical thinking and logic. That could be fun.”
Then a lot of things happen at once.
Slate, Tommy, and Logan all push themselves out of their chairs and rush around the table. Harper reaches out and puts her arms around Tessa, hurling her into Harper’s lap with such strength that Tessa is stunned. Mikayla is taking pictures again, as the three men of Black Lilith tackle their youngest member out of his chair and onto the ground, creating a cursing, writhing dog-pile of limbs as they all hug him at once.
“Woah,” Sersha says.
Mikayla nods, though her eyes are a little bit teary as she captures the whole moment on her phone.
“Dash, buddy, I would never want you to leave the band. But I’m so glad you’re doing this,” Logan’s muffled voice says from the pile.
Tessa glances down at the surprisi
ngly strong arm wrapped around her. “Damn, lady, you just picked me up like I weigh nothing.”
Harper shrugs. “You don’t. You should eat more protein… helps build muscle.”
“I’ll remember that.”
The men are still on the ground. Tessa can’t even see Dash from where she’s sitting, he’s somewhere at the bottom, probably. They’re no longer writhing or trying to grab hold of one another. It’s as if the four men, having made themselves comfortable, are content to just lay together for a moment and bask in Dash’s good news.
Tessa can understand why they’re so thrilled. For Dash, college was the change that would mean giving up on something he loved, even if he’d always loved learning and he’d always had a burning curiosity as well. The fact that he’s found a way to go back to school without changing his entire life is fantastic. And yes, some may say that this is a step backward, that Dash’s desire to avoid change was what had led him to choose the online option. That if he’d really wanted to grow, he’d go as an on-campus student.
But Tessa’s still sore from their night together, when he’d thrown caution to the wind and allowed himself to really be present with her. She still had the marks on her thighs from where he’d held her up. She still blushes when she thinks of how he’d told her that he wanted them to be a couple. A real, honest couple. Dash isn’t about hiding from change anymore. But it would take more than the prospect of a college degree to get him to consider leaving Black Lilith.
“Look at our boys,” Sersha says, shaking her head. “Fucking baby men, the lot of them.”
“Speak for yourself,” Mikayla replies. “Mine cooks.”
“Mine can too,” Tessa says excitedly. “With supervision.”
“Mine can’t cook, I just keep him for decoration,” Harper says.
The four women share a moment. Tessa can’t wait to unpack their stories. She wants to learn everything about them. About what had drawn them into this little family that the men of Black Lilith had created for themselves. And all because four boys from Jersey decided to start a band in high school.
Tessa has a sudden spark of creativity, and she quickly wriggles around in Harper’s lap, pulling her phone out and typing the words ‘Butterfly Effect’ into a note.
“Something for the article?” Harper asks.
Tessa nods. “I think so. We’ll see.”
And, just because she can, she takes a picture of the pile of men on the ground and sends it to Jackie.
Tessa: Your heroes. My new boyfriend is somewhere at the bottom. xx
Jackie’s reply is almost instantaneous.
Jackie: Wha
Jackie: What the fuck
Jackie: You have a boyfried
Jackie: It is dash?
Jackie: Is his penis huge??
Tessa considers the questions carefully. Behind her, she hears Harper snort at the screen.
“What’s going on?” Sersha asks.
“Tessa’s sister is malfunctioning,” Harper replies.
Tessa quickly types, yes, yes, and yes.
Jackie replies with the eggplant emoji and a thumbs up.
Eventually, the men on the ground pull themselves out of the pile, red-faced and grinning like idiots. Tessa types out and sends one last message before extracting herself from Harper’s lap and taking her place at Dash’s side.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Mikayla says when Logan joins her. “Dash, if you need help with the research, just let me know.”
“Thanks, sis,” Dash replies. Tessa doesn’t miss the way Mikayla’s face lights up when Dash calls her that.
Dash’s phone pings and he checks the message. His face is still flushed from the crushing weight of three full-grown men, so Tessa can’t tell if the blush he’s sporting is because of that, or because of the message.
Tessa: I love you. xx
Dash quickly types a reply, hits send, and leans over to kiss Tessa on the temple while he squeezes her knee. The rest of the table, apparently satisfied with the recent family-bonding, lets the kiss pass unnoticed. Tessa’s own phone vibrates in her hand and she looks down to see his reply.
Dash: Love you 2 baby ;)
Five Months Later…
“I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous, you’re going to kill it.”
Dash runs his hands lightly over Tessa’s arms, trying to soothe the tension there. She tries to calm herself and enjoy the way his fingers feel on her skin, but at the moment her mind is too busy racing to feel anything beyond slightly sick. She stares up at the tall, ominously-gray building, dreading whatever waits beyond the doors.
“Tess? Hey, stay with me, baby.” Dash kisses her on the cheek.
Tessa forces a smile and turns to give him her full attention. “Sorry,” she says, still feeling a little flustered.
“You wouldn’t be this nervous if you hadn’t insisted on getting here half an hour early,” Dash says, and he looks at her fondly even though there’s a hint of worry in his voice. He seems to be genuinely concerned that she might plummet over any minute. She’s probably really pale beneath the makeup that she and Sersha had painstakingly put on that morning.
It’s been five months since she and Dash became an official couple, but it feels just as surreal every time she wakes up next to him. She wonders if she’ll ever get used to the feeling of him inside of her, or the knowledge that she only needs to reach out and take his hand to let the whole world know that he belongs to her, and that she belongs to him. They’d kept their relationship a secret until the article was published in Rolling Stone this week, but after that Bass Note’s publicists sent out a press release and suddenly Tessa Hunt was hot property. That, and the notoriety of the Rolling Stone article, had landed her the job interview that she and Dash were standing in front of that building for. She shivers when she stares up at the building again, turning away from her boyfriend and gazing skyward.
“You’re right, we shouldn’t have come so early.”
“Ah, it’s no big deal. At least we left time for a flat tire, traffic jam, and alien abduction,” Dash says. He’s wearing his standard slogan tee—the Incredible Hulk today—and sunglasses to avoid being spotted. His bodyguard, Lance, is standing a discrete distance away from them.
Tessa takes Dash’s hand and gives it a tight squeeze. She feels hopelessly overdressed standing next to him in her interview clothes, but she couldn’t help it. Nothing but the best for The New Yorker.
“Let’s get coffee,” Tessa says. “We’ve got time.”
They duck across the street to a coffee shop that’s almost certainly frequented by some of the journalists who work at the magazine that Tessa will be interviewing for in less than half an hour. She tries to avoid eye contact as she and her famous boyfriend sit down in the corner of the room and order a café latte each. Lance orders nothing. He just sits quietly beside them, trying to look inconspicuous in his black T-shirt and jeans.
Whenever Tessa sees Lance, she’s sadly reminded that Jared isn’t on her detail anymore. They’re still good friends, but after she and Dash had gotten together, Dash had started to get a little alpha male whenever he and Jared were in the same room, which was a lot, considering it was Jared’s job to shadow the women behind Black Lilith. In the end, to save Tessa the indignity of having to tear her new boyfriend a new one, Mikayla had discretely reshuffled their deck of bodyguards so that Jared was shadowing the support band, Lost in Time. It had turned out to work in his favor. A couple of weeks after the change, Tessa got a text from Jared to tell her that he and Lost in Time’s petite bass player were dating. Dash stopped his ridiculous posturing after that.
“Hey,” Dash says, kissing Tessa’s cheek to bring her back to the present. She realizes that there’s a steaming mug in front of her that hadn’t been there when she’d zoned out. “Where’d you go?”
“Oh you know, just thinking about one of my exes,” she says.
Dash nods sagely. “Yeah, I feel sorry for th
ose guys, too.”
She grins at him. When it’s just the two of them, he’s still a huge dork. Only now, he’s a dork who shows his affection with lingering, public kisses, and his eyes entirely focused on her. The night they came out as a couple, there were still a few women who’d inundated him with texts trying to coax him into their beds. He’d firmly shut them down in front of Tessa.
When the Rolling Stone article had been published, Tessa had felt a brief moment of panic at the thought of having to return to Chicago. It had been Tommy, of all people, who’d shut that down.
“So when are you moving in?” Tommy had asked over a coffee one morning last week.
“Moving in?”
“To the brownstone?” he’d said. “Just, you know, I need to know when I have to up my gym regimen to burn off the cakes you’re hopefully going to cook for us. You are going to keep making those, right? Because I don’t think I can go back to Dash’s cakes.”
“Woah, slow down,” she’d said, raising her hands. “You think I’m moving in with all of you?”
Tommy had cocked his head at her, looking for all the world like a confused puppy. “I mean, you’re a writer, right? What better place to live than Manhattan?”
“I haven’t even talked to Dash about this.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a given at this point. You’re family now.”
Tessa had been touched, but she’d chosen not to get her hopes up until she’d spoken to Dash. Dash had blushed and sputtered adorably before he’d admitted that he wanted to ask her father’s permission to move in with her—‘to court you’ in his words—and Tessa had nearly died laughing before bringing the subject up.
They’d flown back to Chicago only three days ago. Dash had met her father. And just like that, she’d become a fully-fledged member of the Black Lilith family. She’d tearfully bid her family goodbye in Chicago, only to get a furious call from her dad as soon as she touched down in Manhattan.
