by J. S. Cooper
7:30 pm rolled around and I started to get nerves in my stomach. Nate hadn't arrived yet or texted, and I wasn't sure what was going on. The steak was cold and the roast potatoes had dried out. My excitement had dissipated, but I wasn't ready to get angry yet. Maybe something had happened and he'd got stuck in a chess match or something.
By 8.30 pm, I started to feel angry. I left the food on the table and walked to my room with my phone, knowing I had to text him. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but I was still hopeful that he would have a good reason for his lateness. I wasn't sure what I was going to say if he still wanted to come over. Maybe I'd let him come over, but I wouldn't sleep with him. Not tonight. He needed to make it up to me. I was just about to send him a text message when I heard my phone beep. Hey, so sorry for my late text. I totally got caught up in something. I read his text and my heart jumped. That was understandable. Maybe I would still sleep with him.
No worries. I was worried about you. Are you on the way? I immediately texted back and jumped up to look at my appearance in the mirror. I needed to brush my hair again and reapply my lipstick. I stared at my reflection, happy that I looked pretty and that my hair was cooperating for the day. I looked back at my phone and frowned to see that Nate hadn't responded back to me as yet. Should I start reheating the food? I texted him. Ten more minutes went by, and I still hadn't heard back from him. I could feel my stomach starting to sink as I sat there waiting for him to respond to my text. I could feel myself close to tears when I got another text from him.
Hey sorry, can I take a raincheck? Something came up. :(
I stared at the text for a few seconds before I started crying. I couldn't stop the feelings of hurt and upset from hitting me hard. All of a sudden I was feeling used and let down.
Sure, maybe tomorrow night? I text him back quickly, holding my breath. If he rescheduled with me, it would be okay. Maybe something really had come up. I dried away my tears as I waited for his response.
Sorry, I'm busy tomorrow night.
I stared at the screen and waited for him to suggest another day. If he liked me he would suggest another day.
When are you free? I texted him, mad at myself for not waiting for him to ask me when I was free. I knew I was pushing it. Being too eager and too available. I should wait for him to ask me out again, but my anxiety was taking over. I held my breath while I waited for his response, hoping he would ask me out soon. I sat there for an hour with the phone in my hand and just waited for his reply. Nothing came. I stood up and walked to the kitchen and threw the food directly into the garbage and then went to the shower. I cried as I washed myself. I felt used and stupid. He didn't like me. He hadn't not texted me because he was worried that I didn't think that he was good in bed. I was a fool for even thinking that. I was stupid for actually thinking that he was The One. He wasn't The One. He wasn't anything. I'd been living with my head in the clouds again. I'd always wanted to believe in one true love, and I'd always thought that one could fall in love at first sight, but I was starting to realize that maybe that was all just one big daydream. I walked out of the shower and back to my room and almost screamed when I saw Anabel standing there.
"Hey," she said softly as I walked into my room.
"Hey," I said, surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"
"I saw Nate." She looked sad. "With some girl at the Vietnamese restaurant across campus."
"Oh? Maybe that was his friend?" I asked hopefully.
"They were holding hands." She made a face. "I'm sorry."
"Oh." I could feel my heart aching as I stood there.
"And then they were making out in the booth." She sounded angry, "He's such a jerk. What did he say?"
"He just said something came up." I bit down on my lip to stop myself from crying. "I thought it was chess related.”
“Oh, Janie. I’m so, so sorry.” She hugged me. “Did he say anything else?”
“No,” I sobbed. “He said he couldn’t come over tonight, and when I asked when he could come, he didn’t respond.”
“Oh.” Anabel hugged me even tighter. “He’s an asshole, forget him.”
“I just don’t understand.” I could feel my insides clenching, and I wanted to throw up. Nate had well and truly used me. It was obvious to me now that he didn’t like me at all.
“He’s obviously a player. He and Talissa can go and piss off.”
“Talissa?” I said. “That was her name?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Some friend of hers called out to her.”
“Oh.”
And with the knowledge that he was on a date with the girl he’d been texting to the other day on the phone, all my hopes came crashing down and the tears flowed even stronger.
“I hate him,” I said. “I really hate him.”
***
Two Weeks Later
Beep beep.
I looked down at my phone and saw a text message from Nate.
Hey, Janie, how’s it going? Want to play chess soon?
I looked at the text and felt a stirring of excitement for a few seconds before I deleted the text. I was not going to go there again. Asshole.
One Month Later
Beep beep.
Hey Janie, want to go to the lake this weekend?
The next message from Nate made me laugh. Did he really think I was going to go to the lake with him again? Give him some more free sex, just so he could treat me like a whore?
One Month Later
Beep beep.
Hey, are you mad at me? This is Nate. Can we talk?
Message deleted.
Two Days Later
Beep beep.
Janie, please give me a chance to talk to you. I feel really badly about how everything went down.
Message deleted.
One Day Later
Janie, please accept my apologies if I hurt you. I would love to take you to lunch to explain everything.
This message made me pause. I still had some feelings for Nate. I wasn’t sure why, but I nearly responded. Maybe he was missing me. Maybe he realized I was the one. Finally.
Two hours later
Janie, I would love for us to be friends. Please respond.
Message deleted and number blocked.
I didn’t want to hear from him again. I hated him for what he’d done to me, and I knew that a part of me would always have hope that he would see me as more. His last message showed me that I was wrong to have hope. He didn’t want anything more from me. He didn’t love me. I’d been nothing but a hookup to him. I was done. I never wanted to have to think about him again.
I wasn’t to know what was going to happen next. I wasn’t to know that everything was suddenly about to change. I wasn’t to know that one hookup was going to lead to the most scandalous time of my life.
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