“Agreed.” Madison had a few other disparaging names to call him. But they were missing the biggest clue his behavior revealed. “I actually think that’s more on point. I think he’s scared. On Tuesday night, Knox waded into a new depth of seriousness and caring with me. I think it freaked him out. Remember, he’s a complete virgin at a real relationship.”
Annabeth stabbed her sunglasses to the top of her head to squint at Madison. “Are you actually giving him a pass? For treating you like this?”
“Not a pass, no. I’m saying I don’t think he was mean to me on purpose. I think it was a side effect of his getting emotional flop sweat.” It made her sad for Knox. Despite all her hurt and anger, there was still a part of her that appreciated how panicked he must’ve been to go to those lengths, and wanted to fix it. “I will require one heck of an apology. And even though I frown on him throwing money at women, I think this episode calls for a very large, very expensive bouquet of apology flowers.”
With an approving nod, Annabeth slid her glasses back into place. “That’s a good plan. If you’re willing to forgive him for being a spineless worm.”
Summer spread her arms wide. “The big-as-Texas part that you’re missing? It’s how you’re going to get him back. If you truly want him back after this.”
“That sounds like a bigger conversation. A planning session.” Annabeth shoved her purse higher on her shoulder. “So now can I go to work? Finish sympathizing later?”
Since Madison didn’t have much experience with girlfriends, she only guessed that she was pushing her luck with Annabeth. But she needed to get this all out at once.
Oh, yes. No man was perfect. Heck, nobody was perfect. She’d known going into this that Knox would require a bit of training, molding, and compromising. There was no doubt in Madison’s mind that he thought exactly the same about her.
“Five more minutes? Because that’s the problem. Not the emergency, but one part of the bigger problem.” Madison fell backward onto the grass, continuing her unavoidably dramatic approach to everything about this day. Looked up at the puffy white clouds dotting the perfect blueness and thought how bizarre it was to say this to her girlfriends before saying it to Knox.
“I love him,” she declared in a voice that surprised her with its steadiness. Without bothering to turn her head to look for their gaping jaws or wide eyes. Because she clearly heard a duet of loud gasps.
“Are you sure?” Summer asked.
Fair question. Smart question. It had been just over a month since they met. “I wasn’t one hundred percent sure. I mean, I was sure I’d been falling in love with him. But everything he did Tuesday night—until he disappeared, of course—pushed me over the cliff. I love this man. So if he really just got scared, got cold feet, then heck yes, I want to move heaven and earth to get him back.”
Summer flopped back, too. “If he won’t talk to you, how will you find out?”
“If he won’t talk to you, how will you get him back?” Annabeth circled her arms around her knees.
“I told you, that’s not the emergency.” Madison held up a hand and shooed the question away. “It’s a problem for another day. I’ll come up with a plan. I always do.”
“The man you’ve decided you love ghosts on you, and that’s not an emergency? What on earth is bigger than that?”
Dragging in a deep breath, Madison said, “Logan wants me to visit him.”
“Your brother who blew you off?” Annabeth clarified.
She nodded.
“You really like to tackle a challenge, don’t you?”
“He emailed me today. Considering it took Knox bribing the local police to get him to a phone, I have no idea what Logan went through to find Wi-Fi, but email me he did. Just listen.” She sat up and pulled the printout from her bag.
Madison ~
I’m sorry. I should probably say that about twenty more times, but I don’t know how long I have until this connection craps out. You surprised me. Hell, you dropped an atom bomb of a surprise on my head. Caught me off guard. Nobody expects to get a baby sister at age twenty-eight. I never wanted one. Once I had the ACSs in my life, I never needed one. But here you are anyway.
I get that you didn’t plan this. That you’re stuck with this new reality, too. I don’t know how you feel about our dad. I don’t know how I feel about him, about what he did, right now. Aside from how he cheated on my mother and almost split up our family? I think I’m leaning toward mad. Betrayed. Because it probably would’ve been cool to have a sister. Knox told me that all the guys like you. That’s enough for me. You must be pretty great to win them over.
No matter how I end up resolving this with Dad, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That was a dick move, and I’m sorry. We can’t ever make up for the time we lost. But I would like to get to know you.
I’m just about done here in Kazakhstan. How about you come join me? Not digging wells or anything. We can travel for three months. I was going to hit the beach in Turkey for some R&R, and then Thailand. Search for the perfect pad thai. Then you could pick a country. My treat. I’m guessing that if Dad didn’t share his existence with you, he probably didn’t share his money either. Not fair that I’ve got a whole bunch of it, so I’m happy to foot the bill. Let’s start building memories together. Not boring ones like getting together for three holidays a year. Let’s blow it out and do something amazing. Let’s learn to be a family.
Madison carefully refolded the email. She’d save it for the rest of her life. And count it as the first real contact with her brother. “Well? What do you think?”
“Wow.”
Annabeth pointed at Summer. “I second what she said.”
Accurate, but unhelpful. “Could you perhaps expound on that a little? It’s kind of hard to make a life-changing decision off of just a wow.”
“Shouldn’t you go first?”
Summer lifted her torso and legs into a vee that propelled her back upright. “What do you want to do?”
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be keeping you two from work, now, would I?” Madison sniped. Then she scrunched her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I’m bitchy. Off balance. Anxious. Completely at sea. And I loathe that feeling.”
Shimmying leaves off her top covered with green and black geometric shapes, Summer said, “Let’s start with the obvious. Two days ago, you thought you’d hit a dead end with Logan. Suddenly, he’s lifted the traffic gate, laid down fresh asphalt, and offered you a first-class ride to Siblingville.”
Annabeth gave a wicked case of side-eye. “Don’t ever call it that again.”
“I thought Brotherland sounded too George Orwell and 1984.”
“If those are the only two options, then strike the entire metaphor.”
The topic of her brother was definitely much rosier than it had been forty-eight hours ago. But his willingness to connect—under his generously offered terms—created a big problem. “I’m thrilled Logan emailed. Just making that happen had to be a major effort on his part. I’m touched. I’m relieved. That part of my Grand Plan worked out. Not how I planned, but I can technically still put a check mark next to one of my bullet points.”
“You mean find brother and cultivate instant relationship? Like it’s as easy as adding boiling water to ramen noodles?”
“Yes.” Madison might have sky-high hopes, but her feet were still on the ground. Cultivate, yes. Assume they’d be finishing each other’s sentences in a day? Heck, no. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect us to be like separated-at-birth twins who discover each other forty years later and learn they both stir their coffee counterclockwise and have a secret love of quilting.”
Annabeth snorted. “Good. Because I know Logan pretty well. I’d be willing to put good money on him not quilting. Or even being able to thread a needle.”
See? Madison wanted to know Logan well enough to make teasing put-downs like that. Or maybe, since he fended for himself for months at a time in stark conditions, he could sew buttons back on
in his sleep. Either way, she wanted to know.
“I don’t need us to be besties. I just want the connection. To always know, deep down, that he’ll be there for me. A three-month adventure would cement that bond. Hands down, no questions asked. Travel glues people together fast and furiously. We’d get to know each other in a way that might not happen even after a year of Sunday dinners here in D.C.”
Summer tapped her on the arm. “What if you don’t like him?”
Happily, that wasn’t a concern. “Annabeth likes him. Knox, Griffin, Josh, and Riley like him. That guarantees that Logan’s likable. Plus, he’s dedicated his life to helping people recover from disasters. That makes him selfless and full of interesting stories. And I’m delightful, so obviously he’ll get along with me.”
“Obviously,” Annabeth said dryly.
“When I planned to leave Alaska, I wanted to see the world. Taste things. Try things. I wanted it all. A globetrotting adventure would put a check mark next to a big chunk of that part of the Grand Plan, too. Much, much sooner than I anticipated.”
Summer beamed. “This is sounding like you don’t need to bounce anything off of us. It sounds like you’ve made up your mind already.”
Made up her mind? Madison wasn’t even leaning a little bit to one side or the other. Her inner compass was as straight up and down as the Washington Monument. “Oh, no. Not even close. Because there are two other major parts to the Grand Plan. One of them was landing a dream job. Which I did already. Working at the Library of Congress is amazing. I’ve got a whole, twenty-year career trajectory there. Just…not if I give it up after a month to gallivant around the world.”
“It wouldn’t exactly highlight your dedication. Or responsibility.”
“I think it’s safe to say not only would they not hold my job, but they’d never hire me back. Ever.” And Madison wouldn’t blame them.
Summer shifted to her knees. “You could work at another library when you came back.”
“True. But it wouldn’t be the most important library in the country.”
Annabeth stuck out her tongue. “Overachiever.”
Maybe. But Madison knew what she wanted. Was it overachieving just because she’d aimed high? Or living the dream? “It’s not called the Plan, it’s called the Grand Plan.”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Put a pin in that for now. What’s the other major part?”
“Finding a husband.”
That netted her another eye roll. “Couldn’t you put that off for three months?”
“Or fall in love with a Turkish prince?” Summer suggested. She stood and executed something sinuous that looked like belly dancing.
Annabeth tickled her behind her knees until Summer kicked wildly to escape. “Keep your seven veils on, Salome. I don’t think Turkey has princes anymore.”
Pouting—serious pouting highlighted by deep burgundy matte lips—ensued. “First you don’t like my road metaphor. Now you’re shooting down a perfectly romantic prince fantasy. Annabeth, you need to be less literal.”
“Practicality keeps a roof over my head. And in this instance, it’ll keep Madison from making an idiot out of herself in a foreign country, asking everyone she meets how to hook up with a prince.”
She’d already found her prince, though. Prince Charming. Madison knew it down to her bones. “I could take a short hiatus from my husband search. Except for one key fact—the search is over. I’m in love with Knox.”
Annabeth winged a twig down at the slow-moving water. “Nope. That’s only half the key point. The missing half is the million-dollar question. Is Knox in love with you? And, not to be bitchy, but let’s bookend that question with the reminder that he did walk out on you.”
“What if he did it because he loves me?” The more Madison thought about it, the more it had to be the only logical explanation. The girls had talked her into doubting him before. Not today. Not even though her hurt and worry and fear weighed down her stomach like an eighty-thousand-ton oil tanker. “Because he realized it at exactly the same time I did? And it sent him into a spiral of panic and cold feet?”
“Knox is…” Annabeth tapped a finger against her chin. “Well, come to think of it, he’s a lot like you. He always knows what he wants, and grabs it. That’s been the way he operates since I met him.”
“Great. Similar personality traits are another reason he’d make a good husband.”
Annabeth blew a wet, noisy raspberry. “Not even remotely close to where I was going. I’m saying, as gently as possible, that if Knox loved you, he’d be darn sure to keep you. If he realized that you were the woman for him? He’d move you straight into the rectory. Introduce you to his beloved mother. Get you a security clearance so he could talk about his work stuff. He’d make you his.”
Damn it. As usual, their excellent logic was poking holes in Madison’s carefully constructed doubt-shield. “Maybe he just needs time. Remember, you both said he’d never commit to dating. And we’ve been doing it for over a month. According to you, in Knox years, that’s practically forever.”
“So if, if,” Summer waved her hands, fingers outstretched, “Knox loves you back, and he takes some time to pull his head out of his ass, you think he wouldn’t still love you three months from now?”
“I think—no, I know,” Madison mimicked, “that I’m the first serious relationship he’s ever committed to. He’s made a valiant effort. He’s definitely got it in him to be a forever kind of man. But if I left so soon? Took a hiatus from him? That’d be yanking the rug out from underneath. It wouldn’t be fair. There’s a good chance that he’d move right down the buffet line of women before my plane finished taxiing at Dulles.”
And just like the Library of Congress probably not rehiring her, Madison wouldn’t blame him one bit. If Knox made the effort to be there for her emotionally, she owed it to him to be there for him physically.
Summer stacked pebbles in her hand. “You’re being forced to choose between your new job, your new boyfriend, your new friends and connections here”—she put a single rock in her other hand—“for a single, currently tenuous connection. But one that is guaranteed for life.”
“Correct. Choosing Logan means giving up everything else.” How on earth was she supposed to choose, put like that?
Annabeth cocked her head to the side. “What if choosing Knox means giving up Logan?”
How come getting everything she wanted, all at once, was turning into the worst possible thing that could’ve happened? “I don’t know. I don’t know what will make me happier.”
“That’s how you decide.”
Madison dropped her head to her knees. Realistically, neither man was a sure thing for reciprocal love. Madison knew she loved Knox, right now. Knew she wanted to love Logan. Hoped Knox loved her back, right now. Hoped that Logan would eventually learn to love her back.
So now what?
Chapter 21
Knox tapped a scrap of toilet paper onto the cut on his chin. Forget drones. Maybe he should pivot his attention—and that of his vast knowledge team—to inventing a razor that didn’t turn his chin into human tartare.
A knock sounded on his office door. Finally. He’d been waiting for the courier from Riccardi’s for hours. The upside to being ridiculously wealthy? When you couldn’t go home because you’d been an asshole to your roommates, you could get fresh clothes delivered to you. Although it certainly wasn’t a long-term solution to his problems.
He kicked shut the door to his private bathroom. Thank God it came with a shower. And that his office came with a couch. Although, now that Knox thought about it, checking into a hotel would’ve been much smarter than camping out here. Hotels had room service. Maid service. Actual blankets, as opposed to the terry-cloth bath sheet he’d slept under for the past two nights.
Staying at a hotel wouldn’t have allowed him to wallow as deeply, though. Too much comfort would’ve kept him from processing the enormity of everything he’d done wrong on Tuesday night. An
d, in almost direct opposition to that line of thinking, Knox’s office made him feel safe. His mock-ups and plans, spreadsheets and schematics were soothing. Comforting. It’d seemed like the logical retreat. If only he’d thought to stock it with clothes. And booze.
Knox threw open his office door. No secretary, no courier. Just Lara, who raised an eyebrow at his naked chest. At least, he guessed it was Lara, since he doubted her twin knew where he worked. “What?”
“Hello to you, too.” She pulled Lionel into his view from the other side of the hallway. “Say hello, Lionel.”
“Hi, Mr. Knox.”
“See that? A fourteen-year-old boy has better social graces than you.”
“Sorry. It’s been a hell of a week.” He rubbed his hand across his mouth when Lara frowned at him. “Shit, I didn’t mean to swear in front of the kid.”
“Is this how you actually earned your dough? By flashing your six-pack abs? Then they just rained down money on you like a high-end version of Saturday night at an Atlantic City strip joint?”
“I can’t swear, but you can fill his ears with talk of strippers?”
“Swearing is a vice he could slip into immediately. Stripping he won’t be able to even sample for a few more years.”
If Lara didn’t know that teenagers had heard of the Internet, Knox sure wasn’t going to be the one to break it to her. He had bigger issues. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted you to have some samples of language for the potential videotape addendum to the Naked Men contract. Lionel and I are headed out to a big Friday of museum hopping after this. But I think his seeing your office will be the biggest treat of the day.” She slapped a hand on the back pocket of her skin-tight white capris. “I have to get this. Last time today, I promise,” she said to Lionel before hurrying down the hall.
Great. Now he was left with still no shirt, and a teenage kid who was looking at him with equal parts awe and curiosity. Scratch that. Not him—just the whiteboard behind him, covered with the schematics for the problematic hoverboard.
Wanting It All: A Naked Men Novel Page 24
