by Joyce Alec
“About what?”
She could hear the anger creeping into his voice and felt a small satisfaction. He cared enough for her to be frustrated when his time with her was infringed upon. She suppressed a smirk.
“Apparently Lady Hobbs said something about your sister and her son, and the insinuation has blown out of proportion. Your father asked for you to come and remedy the situation.”
Jane saw Lord Greenshire roll his eyes before he gathered his composure. “Fine. I will be there momentarily.”
The butler bowed low again and hurried away.
Lord Greenshire turned to Jane, taking her other hand up in his. “Lady Jane, I am terribly sorry that I must leave you, and I am afraid that I could be gone for some time. Once my mother is in one of her tempers…”
Jane nodded her head and fixed the most understanding look on her face that she could. “I understand. Go and do what you must do.”
As he walked her over to a chair, he said fervently, “I will return. I promise that we will have that dance.”
With an incline of his head, and a quick kiss on her hand, he disappeared into the crowd.
“My heavens, I thought he would never leave.”
Startled, Jane whirled around.
Leaning against one of the pillars was the baron, Lord Hays.
He had wavy, auburn hair that fell to his shoulders and a closely trimmed beard that made him look ten years older than he was. He was shorter than Lord Greenshire, but he was broad shouldered and had a wide jaw. One eyebrow was arched in amusement, and the ever-present smirk curled one corner of his mouth.
“Lady Jane,” he said, bowing deeply to her.
“Lord Hays.”
He straightened and grinned at her, taking a long stride toward her. “My, you are even more ravishing than the last time we met,” he said. He had a deep, husky sort of voice that made Jane’s face feel warm.
His eyes widened, and his smirk grew. “Have I somehow managed to stun the perfectly eloquent Lady Jane to silence?”
She blinked a few times, coming to her senses. She returned the mischievous look. “You give yourself too much credit, Lord Hays.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “You have wit in that pretty head as well. Good girl,” he said. “Now, I was hoping that we could find a quieter place where we can speak without having to raise our voices in such a manner,” he said.
Before she could protest, he grabbed her hand and pulled her from the room and down a short hall to a drawing room.
She was familiar with the room, and it was not entirely vacant; others who wished to be away from the music in the grand hall had retired in here, sitting closely together on low couches, speaking in hushed voices.
It felt very intimate, and she looked about for anyone that she knew well.
She found no one.
He pulled her to a long, emerald settee and gently lowered the two of them onto it.
“Would you care for a drink?” he asked, noticing a servant walking past with a tray. He did not wait for an answer before deftly pulling two tall crystal flutes from the tray and returning to his seat beside her.
She watched him as she accepted the glass.
He was, in every way she knew, the opposite of Lord Greenshire.
He leaned back against the settee as if he were in his own home, while she perched on the very edge, with her back straight.
“So, Lord Greenshire has taken a liking to you, has he?” Lord Hays asked, taking a sip from his flute.
“It appears that he has,” she answered, but almost regretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth. It wasn’t like her to admit things so readily.
Jane was having a hard time concentrating on his words. He was such a handsome man, that she found joy simply in watching him. Something about his attitude was incredibly attractive, and the way in which he carried himself. He was just so comfortable and confident, and she found it almost admirable.
Part of her spirit scolded her for that.
You’re better than that.
Am I?
Lord Hays shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose I should not be surprised. I believe that most men in all of England have hoped for a chance to dance with you.”
“You jest, Lord Hays.”
“Do I?” he responded, his eyebrow arching even taller. “According to our dear friend Lady Violet, apparently, he is considering asking for your hand.”
A confusing burst of feelings coursed through her. Pride and guilt, as well as fear, and doubt.
She swallowed hard, but Lord Hays simply watched her, waiting for her to give something away.
“I have heard nothing of the sort,” she said, hoping to change topics. The last thing that she wished to discuss with a man as handsome as Lord Hays was another man that she wanted to get to know better.
He grinned, and laughed out loud again. “Perhaps I should do the very same thing, but beat the gentleman to it.”
“What…what do you mean?” she replied, her stomach suddenly feeling as if it were filled with ice.
“Lady Jane, would you marry me instead?”
She hesitated for only a fraction of a second, but in that time, she felt as if a lifetime had passed.
Was he…was he serious? She could not tell. His face was straight, the usual amusement gone. His gaze was steady, fixed on hers, and he was waiting.
Waiting for her answer.
As she opened her mouth to reply, with what, she had no earthly clue, he fell back against the settee cushions and laughed raucously, slapping his free hand against his knee as if it were the most hilarious joke that he had ever heard in his life.
His laughter drew stares from others in the room, and she nervously smiled at them all, hoping that he would quiet down. She felt embarrassed, vulnerable, exposed, and yet…
Would I have said yes? Was I going to say yes?
Soon after, Lady Sarah and Lady Louisa discovered her, and she knew from their looks that she would be berated relentlessly about how she was with both Lord Greenshire and Lord Hays that evening. She made up some excuse about needing to speak with them and left Lord Hays, who was still terribly amused by his own jokes and didn’t seem troubled at her departure.
She told her friends nothing of what he said, for she was deeply troubled by it. Not by the fact that he had said what he said; he was a rather rambunctious, forward man, and that was not what had surprised her.
What had surprised her was that she had wondered if he was serious, and even actually considered his request. Considered saying yes.
What in the world is happening to me?
3
Of Books and Gardens
Three weeks had passed since the ball at the Duke of Kirkland's estate, and fall was in full swing. The leaves were now varying shades of red and amber and gold, and the air smelled crisp and earthy.
Jane and her sisters knew that soon they would be ushered indoors for the long winter months in order to prevent any sort of illness, so they ensured that they were outside any chance that they could get. They were grateful that the warmth of summer was lingering, and even though their father's house was enormous, it became awfully cramped when they were the only walls they would see until the first whispers of spring.
In order to prevent herself from going utterly insane, Jane wrote to some of her friends, requesting to stay with them during the winter. The change in scenery would liven up some of the more dreary weeks.
She also made plans to visit with her brother Robert and his wife Alice. She had a difficult time coming to terms with their relationship, but she loved Robert and wanted to get to know Alice. Her brother sent a letter back to Jane with an enthusiastic acceptance and said she would be welcome to stay as long as she would like. She only intended to stay for a few days as she was passing through, but she would try and say it as politely as possible.
It was a late October afternoon when Jane, who sat on the front porch of the manor with a book in her hands, saw a
carriage pulling up the drive to the house. Curiously, she slid a finger into her book to hold her spot, and she rose to her feet. She did not recognize the carriage, but it certainly belonged to someone of status. Golden filigree adorned the sides and the doors, and the footman was dressed better than some lords she knew. He beamed at her from atop his perch as he pulled the carriage around the front of the manor.
“Ah, that must be him.”
She looked up to see her father standing beside her, and he smiled at her.
“Who is it, Father?” she asked.
He did not answer, but walked down the stone steps to the gravel drive, as dignified as ever.
She felt her eyebrows pinch together, and she pursed her lips. Why did he not answer her question?
She took a step in her father’s direction as he reached the carriage.
The footman hopped down from his seat and, with an elaborate flourish, opened the door.
Out stepped Lord Greenshire.
Jane heard a gasp escape from her own lips.
What is he doing here? She wondered. Why was I not informed of his visit?
It was apparent that her father had expected him, seeing his reaction, but what was he… She felt her ears grow hot and the tips of her fingers grow cold.
Lord Greenshire glanced up at Jane as he spoke with her father, and his gaze held more than words could.
He’s here to ask for your hand in marriage, a small voice somewhere in her mind told her.
She was not sure how it happened, but in a moment’s time, she was in her father’s library, in the back, where she used to hide when she was a child when she was afraid. She must have put her book down somewhere, for it was no longer in her hands, and she was crouched beneath a window that looked out over the front of the estate.
What are you so afraid of? She said to herself, looking up at the window.
Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt short of breath. It was so strange; she had never felt so nervous about something in her entire life, especially being around other people. Especially not handsome men.
She turned herself around and lifted herself up just enough that she could peer outside without being seen.
The carriage had moved, but her father and Lord Greenshire were still conversing out in the drive, the setting sun causing their shadows to look as if they had been stretched.
Lord Greenshire was very handsome, she realized again, and her heart skipped a beat. She swallowed hard. But was she ready for this, for what he was doing?
Why had he not spoken with her about it first? Of course she knew his intentions; they had been clear to anyone who had eyes when they were together. But it all just seemed so sudden.
Why would he discuss it with you? Of course he would go to your father first. He is a proper gentleman, after all. A year ago, this would have sealed the deal for you.
She grimaced. Lord Hays’s flippant offer flashed across her mind, followed by his boisterous laughter.
She peeked out the window again, and her father and Lord Greenshire disappeared.
She slid down the wall to the floor.
“Jane?”
Jane almost cracked her head on the window sill as she jumped to her feet.
Beatrice’s voice carried through the library again. “Jane, are you in here?”
“Yes!” she called back, hoping her voice was far more calm than she felt. She looked around frantically and settled on pulling a random book from the shelf and opening it just as Beatrice appeared around the corner of the shelves.
Jane did not meet her gaze immediately, instead pretending to be engrossed in her book.
“Why are you reading a book about mathematics?” Beatrice asked, pointing at the beautifully bound tome in her hands.
Jane blinked and snapped the book shut, glaring at her younger sister. “What do you want?”
Beatrice arched an eyebrow. “Father is looking for you.” An impish grin spread across her sister’s face. “A handsome marquess has come to pay you a visit.”
“Oh?” Jane asked, sliding the book back onto the shelf and turning calmly back to face her. “That is a pleasant surprise.”
“Is it now?” Beatrice remarked. “Well, I wonder how the baron would feel to hear you say that.”
Anger flashed white hot in Jane’s body, but she merely smirked in reply to her sister’s words. “Why would that trouble me?”
Beatrice rolled her eyes. “You must not be so coy with me. You know exactly what I mean. Come with me. You mustn’t keep the gentleman waiting.”
Jane followed Beatrice downstairs, grateful for the few minutes to compose herself. She did not want Lord Greenshire to sense her anxiety and hoped that she could use the time she was sure she would have with him to make a sound and wise decision.
Sure enough, her father made it clear that he had come to visit her in particular, and Lord Greenshire confirmed it by asking if she would like to take a stroll out among the gardens together.
Fear flooded through her, and she panicked.
“That sounds lovely,” she responded, almost too hastily. “But I would love it if my sisters were to accompany us. They so love this time of year.”
Lord Greenshire was obviously taken aback, but he recovered quickly. “Of course, my lady. Whatever you desire.”
At least now I can delay any sort of proposal that he might attempt, she told herself.
Soon after, they found themselves in the gardens, her sisters following close behind them, snickering and whispering, and Jane could only imagine what they were saying.
They walked in silence for a few moments, and Jane’s mind raced wildly. Why was she so afraid of being alone with Lord Greenshire? Why was she so afraid of what she knew he wanted?
Because of Lord Hays, a sneering voice in her mind reminded her. You fancy him, and you cannot forget that he himself has already proposed to you.
She scowled. That was not a real proposal, she argued with herself.
How do you know that he wasn’t expressing his true desires?
“Are you quite all right, Lady Jane?”
Jane looked up at Lord Greenshire, who was watching her closely.
“Oh, yes, of course.” Jane smiled a pleasant smile at him. “I am, thank you.”
He did not seem convinced.
“How was your carriage drive to Edgefield?” she quickly asked, deterring him from the conversation and where it might have been going.
“Most enjoyable,” he said, relaxing. “I find that this time of year is my favorite. The anticipation of a calm, quiet winter after such elaborate social obligations.”
“I understand.” She cleared her throat. “I had a wonderful time at the ball,” she said, in her most convincing voice.
He smiled sheepishly. “I did as well. I was very pleased that I was able to sort my poor mother out, and that we were able to have that dance.”
She nodded, feeling more comfortable as they walked. “I am as well. It was one of my great joys of the evening.”
“So was spending so much time with Lord Hays!” Margaret called. Beatrice hurriedly shushed her, the two of them dissolving into a fit of giggles.
Jane turned around, horrified that her sister would even dare do such a thing. She glared at her, unable to stop herself.
She heard her own heartbeat in her ears as she turned away as calmly as she could from her sister, and continue to walk on.
Lord Greenshire had stopped as well and fell back into step beside her.
“Curious that your sisters would mention Lord Hays,” Lord Greenshire commented, just quiet enough for her to hear.
Her sisters were still behind them, laughing at themselves. Jane felt as if she might burst with anger and embarrassment.
“It is curious, indeed,” Jane spat, glaring over her shoulder at them.
Why would they ever say something like that when Lord Greenshire was around? What sort of sense do they have if they decide to attempt to sabotage my relationshi
p with him?
She could have screamed out loud in her frustration.
She could feel Lord Greenshire watching her closely, so she composed herself as best as she could, and smile a forced smile.
“What is it?” he asked.
“What?” she asked, still trying to quell her anger. “Oh, it’s nothing. Nothing at all.”
He nodded his head, and they continued to walk.
“So what do you think of this Lord Hays?” Lord Greenshire asked, his voice steadier than she would have expected. “I assume you are acquainted with him?”
“I have been introduced to Lord Hays.”
“And…what do you think of him?”
Something in his tone surprised Jane. It was not anger or sadness. It was curiosity, and it was caution. She could sense that he had tensed up, and his ease of presence had gone.
It was at that moment that she realized that he was not entirely sure that he wished to hear her answer.
“I find him to be an amiable man,” she said slowly, and then quickly added, “for a man in his position in society.”
He glanced down at her. “I have felt the same.”
She felt a slight comfort.
“My parents met his father at a social gathering in London some years ago. Apparently his grandfather had been knighted by the queen for a minor land steading, and his father had spent through a good portion of the inheritance. Lord Hays was given what was left, and he seems to have taken after his father in more ways than just his good looks.”
Jane swallowed hard. She was ashamed at the stab of defensiveness that she felt at Lord Greenshire’s words against Lord Hays. She had not known that of the baron, or his history. She knew that her father did not know much of him, other than he had a bit of a negative reputation. And yet, he was still invited to all of the major social gatherings. Whether or not that was because many of the women fawned over him like bees do honey, she was not entirely sure.
“I found him to be quite humorous,” Jane went on. “I have found him to be both interesting and engaging.”
“My cousin said the very same thing about him,” Lord Greenshire commented, “Right before he decided to go off and begin a new acquaintance with a very pretty young lady from the French royal family.”
