by Joyce Alec
Jane nearly threw her fork across the table at her smirking face.
She had to admit, her sister was right; at least, she was somewhat right. If it was true that Lord Greenshire had turned his attention from her, then she would need to begin the process once more of finding another suitable husband.
She forced herself to be the ever dignified woman that society knew her to be, and pushed her feelings for Lord Greenshire into the very back recesses of her mind, in a very small, protected corner. It was easy to pretend as if nothing happened, and before the week was out, she felt almost as if she were back to normal. At least, she hoped it would appear that way.
A few days later, her brother John and his wife Agnes arrived with her nephew. Their arrival brought great joy to Jane, giving her a wonderful and happy distraction. She did not feel as if she had to force herself to be in the company of others once they had arrived.
John and Agnes shared with the family that soon, their little boy was to have another sibling. With the news of Robert and Alice expecting, the duchess burst into tears from all the excitement. She was to be a grandmother again, and to two more precious children.
Jane found herself alone with Agnes in the sitting room one afternoon, enjoying a hot pot of tea together, with the little one cooing in a soft voice. Jane sat on the floor beside him, holding him up on his feet with her arms around his pudgy waist.
"I had a long conversation with Alice when I went to stay with them," she told Agnes.
Agnes took a sip of her tea, and then looked down at Jane curiously.
"You did? About what?"
Jane rolled her eyes. "Oh, come now, sister. Of course you know."
When Agnes was still perplexed, Jane sighed heavily.
"About that afternoon I almost ruined everything for Robert and Alice. When I barged in on you both and interrupted you and caused all of that trouble?"
Agnes smiled sweetly at Jane. "Oh, Jane, that doesn't matter anymore. I had already forgiven you and moved on." She gently touched Jane's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I know how fiercely protective you are of your siblings. I knew that you and Alice would eventually become good friends."
Jane smiled, but it did not last long. She looked up at Agnes.
"I do not know. I seem to make a mess out of every situation—especially the relationships in my life. I am quite good at ruining those."
Agnes's brow furrowed, and she looked more closely at Jane. "Whatever do you mean?"
Jane shook her head. "You know, Agnes, I was thinking..."
Agnes hesitated, still lingering on Jane's last thought, but Jane wished to move past it.
"All right, what is it?"
"When you have your next child, I would be most pleased to come and help you take care of them both."
Agnes simply stared at her.
"Having one child is difficult enough, I'm sure, but having two may be near impossible for you and my brother to handle without going absolutely mad. I know that you will have help to care for the children, but I would be very pleased to spend more time with my nephew and his new brother or sister."
Agnes studied Jane's face, and she took a deep breath.
Jane did not like the look on her face.
"My dear," Agnes began. "What a kind offer you have made. It is most generous of you. Certainly we could use all of the help we can get when our next child is born, and of course, you will always be welcome to visit us."
She sat down on the floor beside Jane and looked at her very intently.
"But this is not about the children at all, is it? This is about something else."
Jane swallowed and looked back at Jane. She looked quickly away.
"I do not know what you are implying," Jane said rather simply.
Agnes smiled gently. "I think you do."
Jane remained silent.
Agnes sighed. "Beatrice told me what happened between you and Lord Greenshire."
Jane groaned in reply, but Agnes held up a hand to her, stopping her from any further protest.
"She was very kind to you, do not worry. I know how she and Margaret can be, but I think they are sincerely worried about you. Beatrice did nothing but simply retell the events. No personal opinions or attitudes were present."
Jane huffed, and she passed the babe back to Agnes. She stood and relocated herself to her favorite chair by the fire.
Agnes followed and sat down in the chair beside her, allowing the little one to play on the floor.
"Listen, I do not know what she told you..."
"She told me that Lord Greenshire had come to visit. That Lord Hays had come up in conversation, and while the two of you spoke alone, something came up that upset him greatly. So much so that he actually left the estate and returned home."
Hearing it so starkly from someone who had not been there made Jane relive the awful moment when Lord Greenshire walked away from her a second time. Jane studied the hem of her dress, picking at a loose stitch.
“I take your silence as confirmation,” Agnes said, though not unkindly. “Jane, running from your problems will fix nothing. They will not disappear if you simply ignore them.”
Jane glared at Agnes, even though she knew that she was right.
“And that is what I believe you are trying to do by offering to come and help John and I.”
Jane felt her cheeks flush. “It is not as if that is the only reason that I wish to come and stay with you.”
Agnes smiled and nodded her head. “I know that, Jane. I know that you love your nephew, and you love your brother and me, but you are needed here. This is where you can begin a new start on your own life.”
Jane frowned. “You are right, I suppose.”
Agnes said heartily. “I think you would make a fine governess.”
Jane smiled in reply. “I think you are far too kind.”
The door to the sitting room slammed open, and Beatrice and Margaret were standing in the frame, fighting to get inside the room first.
Both Jane and Agnes got to their feet.
“What has happened?”
“Is someone hurt?”
Margaret managed to squeeze in first, and she dashed over to where Jane stood.
Beatrice said exasperatedly from the doorframe. “No, no one is hurt.”
Margaret looked as if someone had just brought Christmas early. “Lord Greenshire! He is here!”
Jane and Agnes looked at each other.
“You must be joking,” Jane said, though part of her wondered why Margaret could be so cruel. “There is no way he would have returned.”
“Unless he believed you,” Beatrice said coolly. She shrugged her shoulders. “You are not a liar, sister. He must have seen that for himself.”
Jane started breathing fast and heavy. She clutched at her chest. “Oh, no. What do I say? What do I do?”
Margaret steadied her.
“Just speak to him,” Agnes advised. “You owe him that.”
As if speaking his name had summoned him, Lord Greenshire appeared in the doorway beside Beatrice.
Beatrice looked up at him, for she barely stood at his shoulder, and shuffled to the side to allow him to see into the space.
His eyes quickly found Jane, who had suddenly felt as if she had been dunked into the frigid lake outdoors. Where her heart had been hammering against her ribs moments before, she wondered if her heart had completely stopped.
“We will give you both some privacy,” Agnes said, as she scooped up her son and ushered Margaret out the door. Jane saw Beatrice’s shadow scurrying off after the others.
For a few moments, they simply stared at one another. Jane did not feel as if she could move her limbs at all, or she might fall over from fright.
The silence was driving her mad, though, so she decided that she should speak first. This was all her fault, after all.
“I…” her voice cracked, and she swallowed away the lump that had risen at the back of her throat. “I thought you were never comi
ng back.”
“I thought the same,” he said, his voice also unsteady. “But I could not allow my own selfish feelings to ruin what could possibly be the very best thing to have ever happened to me.”
At first, she was not sure that she had heard him correctly. She expected him to say that he didn’t wish to come back. She even partially expected some sort of scolding or discussion about how much she had hurt him.
But he…thought that he was selfish?
She gaped at him.
He stepped into the room. “I must apologize for my actions. Storming out on you, twice no less, is the most ungentlemanly thing I could have done to you. Especially this last time. You did not deserve such disrespect. I might have been hurt or angry, but that did not give me the right to walk out on you in order to soothe my own feelings. And for that, I am deeply sorry.”
She could not believe what she was hearing. The way she had treated him, and he was apologizing to her? It simply furthered her belief that she did not deserve him.
“As for my behavior throughout the rest of this incident, I must apologize as well. My reaction was unbecoming. I was a fool to believe I was the only man pursuing you, and surely I was not the first. I had not made my feelings clearly known, and I should not have expected you to have known how I felt.”
“I did know,” Jane replied weakly. “I did know, and I still allowed Lord Hays to pursue me.”
Lord Greenshire shook his head and took a step toward her. “You are not in control of other people’s feelings,” he said plainly.
She shook her head. “No, you cannot take all of the blame for this. I have been insensitive and foolish. How could I have treated you the way I did? How could I not have been…”
“I should have listened to you,” he said. He was standing directly in front of her now. “You were open and honest with me –”
“I don’t know if I would have been if my sisters had not dragged it out of me by teasing me in front of you!”
He smiled at her. “Lady Jane, you did nothing wrong. He approached you, and you spoke to him a few times. Unless…”
She saw fear flicker in his eyes.
“No,” she said immediately. “No, that was it. He did not attempt anything more.”
Thank the Lord.
He said with relief. “See? Then you did nothing wrong. I cannot fault you for falling for the charms of such a man when I had not made my intentions known. I have heard of his reputation, and that is why I was so worried.”
Jane said, “I feel terrible for hurting you.”
“No, I should not have been so sensitive.”
They both laughed softly.
She felt as if she could have flown up into the ceiling and never have come down. It was more than she could have ever hoped for, more than she could have ever wanted as a response from him. She did not know whether she should continue to laugh or to burst into tears.
“I am so pleased that you understand.”
“When you told me about your encounters with Lord Hays, I should have listened to what you wished to tell me. Not every woman would be so forthcoming with the truth. I had time to think about what you said. Lord Hays never deserved my jealousy, and you did not deserve any more pain. I hope that you can forgive me for turning my back to you, as you did not deserve my reaction. I imagine that I caused you a great deal of distress when I left the night I did.”
Jane felt her lip tremble, so she resorted to nodding in reply.
She felt tears well in her eyes. “I had hoped that you could forgive me.”
“Of course I forgive you, my darling,” he replied softly, his hands grasping her shoulders. He squeezed them gently. “Of course. I always will.”
“I had forgiven you as soon as you left. I thought you had every right to be as upset as you were.”
“No, I never have the right to be that upset. And never will I again unless you are in danger or someone has wronged you.”
They looked into each other’s faces, and she wondered, not for the first time, why she had ever looked anywhere else.
“Now,” he said, taking a step back from her, and straightening his jacket. “All of that unpleasantness aside, I have come here with a singular purpose. It was the same purpose for which I came last time, and I do hope that you will allow me to discuss such matters with you.”
His propriety brought joy to her heart. She had spent so many years training and learning how to be a proper lady for this very moment, when a man of high stature would choose her. She squared her shoulders and looked at him with all of the grace and poise she could muster.
“Of course, my lord.”
He smiled. “I had hoped to ask for your hand in marriage. I suppose that my intentions are not a mystery to you, and I dearly hope that you can forgive me for my delay. When I left, I had wondered if it was still the right choice.”
He looked at her in the eye, and held her gaze. “Asking you to marry me was always the right choice. I knew it the moment I walked out of the house, I would still choose you. In every situation, in every way, I shall always choose you, regardless of how I may feel in the moment. I will never be able to forget you, and I shall never be able to move past you. You have been the object of my affections since the moment I met you, and I hope that you know that I have adored the very ground you have walked upon.”
Her body warmed from his touch, as it gave her much comfort. Jane could not take her eyes from his.
“If you will have me, my offer still stands.”
She forced herself to become still again, and she grinned up at him.
“Lord Greenshire, it would be my absolute pleasure to be your wife.”
THE END
Part VI
Impulsive Heart - Book Four
Edgefield Dukedom: Book Four
By Caroline Johnson
1
Pride
“Mother, there is no denying it. I am right, and there is nothing to be done about it.”
Lady Beatrice Stone stood with her back to the room, an open book in her hands, her finger skimming the page.
She heard an exasperated sound from her mother, the Duchess of Edgefield. “Beatrice, listen to me. I was simply saying that—”
Beatrice glared at the wall, but she still did not turn around.
“Mother, it is very simple. I do not wish to marry him, so I made it very clear. I was polite in my response, and I never encouraged him. I did not wish to give him hope where there was none. He seemed to only show affection towards me because my father is a duke.”
She brushed a stray strand of her dark blonde hair from her eyes. A gentleman once told her that her tresses reminded her of spun gold, and she had held onto that compliment ever since. Her green eyes scanned over the same sentence over and over in an attempt to ignore her mother’s words. It was nearly impossible.
The sound of her mother lowering herself onto one of the wooden chairs nearby almost made her turn around, but she held her ground. Beatrice did not want to see the disappointed look on her mother’s face.
“My dear, Lord Richardson would have been a good match. Your father and I have been acquainted with his family for many years.”
Beatrice shrugged her shoulders. “Please, let us not discuss this any further.”
“Your father has also asked me to leave the topic of conversation alone,” sighed the duchess.
“Yes, I did,” the Duke of Edgefield interjected.
Beatrice did turn around now, because her father’s voice meant his presence, and it would not do to ignore him. She put on her steadiest face, and with her book still in hand, turned to see him.
Immediately she could see the sincere empathy in his eyes, and it acted like a salve to her anger.
“I do wish for you to marry a man who will make you happy,” he said simply.
She sighed in response, this time closing the book.
“I promise that I will make a good choice,” she answered.
Her fa
ther shook his head. “I do believe you will, Beatrice.”
“But Lord Richardson…” the duchess said.
“Do not worry, Beatrice,” her father went on, his hand on the duchess’ shoulder. “I am not upset with your choice. Your older siblings chose well, and I believe that when the time is right, you will also choose the right spouse.”
“I have learned much from my siblings,” Beatrice answered. “I shall be able to use my knowledge of their mistakes to avoid so much heartache.”
Beatrice was a clever girl, the cleverest of all of her siblings, who often reminded her of that trait during their childhood. And so because of it, she began to believe it; it was the part of her character that she cherished most.
Her siblings would often ask for her help or advice when they were young about how to get out of trouble, or how to sabotage their other siblings in some way. Jane was especially vindictive, most often to John, the oldest of the siblings and the heir to their father’s land and title. Beatrice knew exactly how to torment each of her brothers and sisters, and as a child, she often found pleasure in outsmarting them all.
As she grew, her cleverness was better used in more profitable ways, such as in games of chess, or in discussions with her governess. It was apparent to her parents that her view of the world was very pragmatic, unlike her other siblings.
Beatrice clicked her tongue at the thought of her siblings and the choices they had made in life.
Her mother seemed confused, and even more upset than before. “Whatever do you mean? What mistakes have your siblings made?”
Beatrice rolled her eyes as she too sat down in a chair nearby. “Mother, please. It is as if you and father have done all you can to forget how my dear siblings have acted in the last few years.”
“Why would you say something like that?” her father asked, his brow furrowing.
“Because I am apparently the only one who sees them for who they actually are!”
“And who, pray tell, do you think they are?” her mother added, her voice cool and concerned.
