by Joyce Alec
"Agnes, where is the coral dress? I specifically requested the coral dress for this evening."
"M'lady. Your mother insisted upon this dress and took the coral dress with her. I couldn't refuse her ladyship. Please don't be cross with me."
"Of course I am not upset with you, Agnes. I guess my only option is the green dress," sighed Lucy.
The dress was breathtaking, and with the vibrant color and the neckline, she was sure to get noticed. Lucy didn't want the attention.
Agnes styled Lucy's hair with intricate twists and beautiful silver combs. The dress accentuated her slender frame and gentle curves. Any hopes of playing down her beauty were shattered.
When Lucy arrived in the drawing room to meet her parents and the duke, she felt all eyes on her. As the duke's fiancé, she would be meeting his friends and family members during their stay. To appease her parents, Lucy would play the part. She would smile, laugh at jokes, and act humble as her mother shared Lucy's accomplishments in music and poetry. She was well-bred and was perfectly aware of how to act as the future duchess.
After being introduced to nearly every guest, Lucy needed time to herself. She excused herself to go outdoors for some fresh air. The duke asked to accompany her, but Lucy politely declined his offer and promised she would be back shortly.
Before reaching the exit, which led to the balcony, Lucy helped herself to a cup of punch that a footman offered. As she stepped outside, she noticed a man gazing off into the garden. Upset that she would have to go back indoors, she sighed and turned around.
The man turned and saw Lucy, "Pardon me, my lady. I did not see you."
Lucy's heart stopped as she recognized the voice. She turned and looked into the eyes of the Earl of Harrogate. At a loss for words, Lucy turned and exited the balcony. What was he doing there? How did he know the duke? Did he recognize her?
The questions flooded Lucy's mind. Standing in front of her was the man she had been dreaming about since that serendipitous day. Lucy returned to the drawing room, just in time for dinner to be announced.
Throughout the meal, Lord Harrogate looked in the direction of Lucy, careful not to stare at her for too long. Nobody noticed the attention he was giving to Lucy, except Lucy. Every time his gaze fell upon her, she felt her body warm, as if they had a special connection. After several glances, Lucy looked in the earl's direction and offered a smile but quickly looked away so no one would notice the interaction.
After dinner, the men rejoined the ladies in the drawing room, much to the dismay of Lucy. The duke treated his own staff worse than he had treated her family's staff when he had visited. Some of his comments were vulgar, but his guests seemed to dismiss his disgraceful behavior because he was the duke.
He was eager to show off Lucy to his guests, almost as if boasting of his good fortune. Lucy was embarrassed, as she imagined the women gossiping behind her back. She knew that some of the women wished they were marrying the duke, and others saw Lucy as a fortune chaser. She wanted to scream that her engagement wasn't her choice, and she had no desire to be the duchess.
Lucy dreaded the moment that she would be introduced to Lord Harrogate. Would he pretend he didn't know her? Would he recount the story of their meeting? Lucy was unsure as to why they had not been formally introduced yet, but she imagined it was her mother's doing. Lucy assumed the marchioness didn't want anything to get in the way of Lucy's marriage to the duke.
When Lucy was sure that nobody was looking, she snuck out of the drawing room. An unlocked door proved to be her escape. She walked inside and quietly closed the door. Lucy shut her eyes and felt her heart racing. The unmistakable sound of a man clearing his throat surprised Lucy, and she opened her eyes immediately to see who had caught her in the act of escaping.
Lucy looked around for the source of the sound and realized she had made her way into the billiard room. Lord Harrogate was looking at her, a questioning look on his face. Lucy remained silent and waited for him to speak first.
"Lady Lucy Fitzwilliam, it is good to see you again."
"Lord Harrogate," she said, curtly.
"Are you all right? You look…frightened," he said, sounding concerned.
"Thank you, Lord Harrogate. I assure you everything is fine."
When Lucy heard footsteps approaching, she panicked and raced behind the billiard table and crouched down by Lord Harrogate.
The door opened, and the Duke of Selby stood in the doorway.
"Harrogate, why are you in here alone? Come join the party! By the way, you haven't seen Lady Lucy by any chance, have you?"
Lord Harrogate looked down where Lucy was hiding. She shook her head.
"No, Your Grace, I have not, but I doubt you will find her in here."
"I do believe you are right," laughed the duke.
The door closed behind the duke. Lucy waited for a moment before she stood up and walked to the opposite side of the billiard table.
"I suppose I should thank you," she said quietly.
"I always seem to be saving you," he said with a smile.
"It seems as though nothing will save me from this marriage," she said as she turned to leave.
After the words had left her mouth, Lucy knew she should have kept them to herself, but she didn't care. After getting a breath of fresh air, Lucy returned to the drawing room to say goodnight to the duke and his guests. She avoided Lord Harrogate, who also avoided her.
That night Lucy stayed in her sister's room. Lucy poured out her feelings to her sister, and with nobody else around to hear them, Margaret consoled Lucy as she cried. Lucy shared the story of meeting Lord Harrogate and Margaret was shocked. Their parents had told Margaret that Lucy was visiting their cousin, the Vicar, and his wife. Margaret had no idea that Lucy had been in such an awful predicament.
When Lucy had no more tears, she asked Margaret about Lord Pearson.
"Oh Lucy, I do not feel that I can share my excitement when your romantic life is in such peril. Please, ask me another time."
Lucy took Margaret's hands in hers, "Margaret, my sadness should never take away from your happiness. I do wish to hear any good news you wish to share. In fact, I could use a good love story to lift my spirits."
"A love story?" Margaret laughed. "But we have only just met."
"I noticed him looking at you all night. And he is quite handsome," beamed Lucy.
"Well, since you asked, Lord Pearson did ask if he could take a walk with me tomorrow. Papa agreed."
Trying to make light of the situation, Lucy said, "Can you imagine if you marry him, Margaret? I will be your mother-in-law."
Both women laughed at the situation.
The following morning, Lucy crept back into her room and dressed without Agnes's help. The men left early that morning for the day's activities, so Lucy was able to avoid the duke. Her stomach in knots, Lucy only managed a cup of tea and a piece of toast for breakfast.
Some of the women were in the drawing room, while others had retreated outdoors for a walk through the gardens. Lucy found solace in the study and made herself comfortable at a desk in a quiet corner of the room. She had told her mother that she had letters to write, but instead she stared out the window.
The door to the study opened quietly, and she looked around for an escape. She was in a corner and with nowhere to run. When Lord Harrogate noticed Lucy, he turned to leave the room but changed his mind.
"Lady Lucy, this is not my business, and I do not want to pry into your private affairs, but you seem to be in trouble."
"Why do you say that, my lord?" Realizing that Lord Harrogate should be with the men, Lucy questioned why he wasn't on the hunt.
"I should enjoy hunting, but I don't, so I chose to stay here. The duke was a close friend to my father, so he continues to invite me to his parties. I have been away, but before that, I typically declined the invitations," said Lord Harrogate. "As luck would have it, I decided to accept the invitation this time around. And because of that, I have been fo
rtunate enough to see you again."
"Fortunate? Why is that, my lord?"
"To be honest, I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met."
Lucy's heart fluttered with excitement, but she knew nothing would come of the infatuation. "You do realize that I am engaged to your host, the duke."
"Yes, I am aware, but I don't understand why. May I speak candidly, my lady?
"Of course," said Lucy.
"When I met you, I believed it wasn't a chance meeting. Your compassion for the poor and your willingness to take them food and provisions on your own accord are remarkable qualities. And then, you almost risked your life for your horse. I didn't believe that a woman like you existed." Lord Harrogate continued, "I enquired about you but heard you were engaged to the duke. I do not mean to speak ill of His Grace, but he does not share the same good nature as you."
Lucy remained quiet for some time before sharing her feelings. "You must know this isn't my choice. I have no say in this marriage. I do not care to be a duchess, but it is important to my family, and I don't want to disrespect my parents' wishes." Lucy looked down and took a deep breath before she said, "And to be honest, I have not stopped thinking about you. Your actions saved my life. For that, I am eternally grateful, Lord Harrogate." Lucy raised her eyes to meet Lord Harrogate's gaze, "But, that is not the only reason I have been thinking about you. I wanted to see you again, as I feel a connection with you like I have never felt with another."
"I wish we had met under different circumstances," said the earl. "If only we could have met before you were engaged."
"I do not see a way out of this, Lord Harrogate, so wishing will not do either of us any good."
"Well, then, I suppose I better leave before someone finds us in here alone."
"Yes, Lord Harrogate, I do believe that's best."
Lucy's heart broke as she watched Lord Harrogate turn and leave. Although she hardly knew him, Lucy longed to run after him and run away with him.
5
Christmastime was Lucy's favorite time of year, and Christmas day was only two weeks away. Lucy's wedding day was fast approaching, but the despair Lucy had been feeling lost its hold over her.
Instead of focusing on her future, Lucy decided to make the most out of her time before she wed. Christmas provided plenty of distractions. The food, parties, games, and music brought her endless joy. The spirit of giving was in the air, and Lucy enlisted the help of her sister to provide food and gift baskets for the poor residents that lived in the surrounding villages.
Lucy's parents were glad to see Lucy's change in spirit, and they believed her positive attitude had something to do with her upcoming nuptials. This wasn't the case at all; Lucy felt as she always did about the duke.
Lucy's joy mostly came from harboring a secret, which she shared with no one. Lord Harrogate had written Lucy a letter soon after she returned from the duke's housewarming party, and since that time, the two had become close friends.
Lord Harrogate signed his sister's name, Emmaline, to all his letters. Lucy addressed her letters to Emmaline, so Lucy's family believed she had developed a close friendship with the earl's sister.
Lucy knew she was being deceitful, as did Lord Harrogate. Through the letters, Lucy and Lord Harrogate had shared their interests, hopes, and dreams. They both had an appreciation for fine literature, loved the opera, dreamed of traveling, and most importantly, Lucy learned that the earl had a heart to help the less fortunate, as she did.
Days had passed, and the duke was set to arrive at Lucy's home the following morning. Lucy had asked to spend one last holiday at her childhood home with her family. The duke and Lucy's parents obliged. The wedding guest list was small, as Lucy did not want a big celebration. The duke was only bringing his eldest son, Lord Pearson, much to the delight of Margaret.
Lord Pearson and Margaret's relationship had evolved into a beautiful romance, and Lucy suspected it was only a matter of time before Margaret was planning her own wedding.
At breakfast, on the morning before the duke was to arrive, the marquess and the marchioness provided the week's schedule to Lucy. They planned several dinners while the duke was visiting. Lucy wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, as the plans did not interest her.
"…and Lord Harrogate will be joining us tonight for dinner," was all Lucy heard her father say, and her ears perked up.
"Pardon me, Papa. Who did you say is joining us for dinner tonight?”
"Lord Harrogate, dear. Apparently, the duke was a close acquaintance of Lord Harrogate's father, and the duke wishes to see him during his visit."
The marchioness interrupted, "I just hope that he doesn't share the story of how we lost the carriage."
Anger welled up inside of Lucy, "I do believe that the most important outcome from that day was that he saved my life, not that you lost a carriage."
"Of course your wellbeing matters more than a carriage, dear. I just don't want the earl to share the story, as I don't want His Grace to second guess his marriage to you."
Lucy remained silent; her feelings were hurt. Lord Harrogate's actions were heroic, not something to hide. Lucy was trying to help the less fortunate and got herself into a predicament. Lord Harrogate saved her life. The ridiculous rules of society could turn a beautiful event into a scandal. To Lucy, this didn't make sense.
Lucy excused herself and retreated to her room.
The duke arrived early in the afternoon and wished to see Lucy right away, but Lucy complained of a headache so she could remain in her room. She wouldn't be able to avoid the duke much longer; she wished to enjoy each minute she had to herself.
Her thoughts led to seeing Lord Harrogate. She hadn't seen him since the duke's house party, but she received several letters from him each week. They both promised to burn each letter after it was read, lest they be found out. Lucy couldn't bring herself to burn the letter where Lord Harrogate first confessed his love.
Lucy reread the letter every single day. The letter that brought her so much joy, brought nothing but sadness on this day. She decided to read it one final time before she placed the letter in the fire. After the wedding, she would have to cut off all ties with the earl. The pain in the pit of her stomach was unbearable.
She read the letter and ran her finger over the words, I love you, Lucy. She placed the letter in the fireplace and watched the flames engulf the one thing that had brought her so much happiness. She gazed out the window and watched as the snow began to fall.
Agnes helped Lucy dress for dinner. Lucy chose a dress that she believed Lord Harrogate would love. The red dress was trimmed with gold ribbon and had beautiful floral embroidery on its hem.
She made her way to the drawing room with her heart racing. Lucy searched for Lord Harrogate, but instead, the duke was the first to notice his bride-to-be. Lucy was polite in her conversation, but her mind was elsewhere. Along with the marquess and marchioness, Lord Pearson and Margaret joined in the conversation.
The butler announced Lord Harrogate, and Lucy locked eyes with him. Margaret cleared her throat to regain Lucy's attention. Lucy realized she had been staring at the Earl and gestured a thank you to Margaret for saving her from the embarrassment of getting caught.
The snow continued to fall, so the dinner guests who were not already staying the night were invited to stay. Lucy tried to work up a plan to sneak out and spend time with the earl, but she just needed to get him alone to share the plan. However, Lucy kept missing her opportunity as her mother kept a close watch on her.
The guests were called to dinner, and Lucy took her seat next to the duke. As she expected, there was no laughter and no engaging conversation. At one point, the duke attempted to hold Lucy's hand under the table. Lucy withdrew her hand and refused to make eye contact with him. When she finally glanced in the duke's direction, Lucy could see the anger in his eyes for refusing his affections. Lucy didn't care.
Towards the end of dinner, Lord Pearson stood up and call
ed everyone to attention. Margaret's cheeks flushed, as she knew what was about to happen. As everyone suspected, Lord Pearson asked for Margaret's hand in marriage. Lucy silently giggled to herself, as she once joked with Margaret that she could become her mother-in-law. The joke came to fruition. However, Lucy was eternally grateful that her sister would be joining her at the duke's estate after her wedding. The company of her sister would make her future existence with the duke much more bearable.
The evening ended, and Lucy never had the opportunity to speak to the earl. She had thought about telling her plan to Margaret, but decided against bringing her sister into her mischievousness. Instead, Lucy succumbed to the fact that her fate was sealed.
Lucy couldn't sleep. She was lying in bed under the same roof as the man she loved. How she longed to go to him, as she had dreamed of kissing him since the moment they met.
As her eyes finally began to close, she heard a loud commotion, which sounded like it was coming from downstairs. It sounded like the duke was screaming at someone. Then, she heard Lord Harrogate's voice. Another loud crash.
Lucy dashed out of bed and put on a robe. As she headed downstairs, she saw other house guests and servants running to see what had caused the uproar. Lord Harrogate and the duke were screaming at each other at the bottom of the staircase. Lucy hid behind a large sculpture so nobody would see her in her nightgown.
Lucy's father ran past her, not noticing that she was watching the scene unfold.
The marquess wasted no time in taking control of the situation as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
