by Andrew Hess
I looked up at James. Knowing how he felt about me made it much more awkward to talk about the dream in front of him. “Just a dream about the shooting,” I replied.
James took a deep breath and got up from the bed. I couldn’t imagine the thoughts going through his head. He was a man taking care of two emotionally destroyed women, one of which he had feelings for but was hung up on another man.
I could see the pain in his eyes as he walked out the bedroom door. It pulled at my heartstrings enough to rip me away from the sheets. “James,” I called out to him. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being there to hold me tonight; for taking care of us for the last week; and for letting us stay here.”
Nonchalantly, he waved me off. “Don’t worry about it, Ali.” I watched him walk back into the living room and resume his spot on the couch.
Returning to the bed, I decided to leave the door open. “You okay, Ali?” Amanda asked.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?” She looked at me as if she read my mind. “Oh, you mean Shawn. You were there. I was a complete mess. I drank myself stupid and prayed I drank enough to not wake up the day.”
“Amanda,” I gasped.
“I hated waking up knowing he died protecting me.” I pulled my arms around my sister and pulled her close to me. “Relax; I don’t think like that anymore.”
“Good, keep it that way.”
“I am, thanks to you for protecting me and kicking my butt until I woke up. I also have Matthew to thank. He was the one who encouraged me to go get help, and brought me to the appointments in the beginning. Now I go see my therapist at least once or twice a week.”
Hearing Amanda talk about her road to recovery, made me realize it was the path I would inevitably need to take. It reminded me of the last mandatory therapy session I had before being placed back on active duty. My therapist reminded me to call her if I ever needed to talk. Now seemed like a good time to me.
“I’ll call Dr. Barron in the morning.”
“Good,” Amanda said in a satisfied way. “Now, go back to bed, or at least let me sleep.” Turning to my side, I turned out the light and curled up with my pillow.
The next morning felt like a whirlwind of emotion. The memories of my dream tried to keep me locked into my depressed mourning state of mind. But knowing Amanda had fought the same battle in her head for months gave me hope to begin my fight. I didn’t want to be the moping, sad woman that barely left the room for anything more than to eat, use the bathroom or take a shower.
The thought to call Dr. Barron was still fresh on my mind. I wanted to book the appointment as soon as I could. When I reached for my phone, I noticed the fifteen missed calls from Rodney. Curious about what was so urgent he called that many times, I decided to listen to the voicemails.
The first two were hang-ups. Then I heard his voice. “Ali, we need to talk. I need you to listen to me.”
The next message was another plea attempt for me to listen to him, and then things got weird. I didn’t hear Rodney’s voice. There was silence at first, but then a stronger male voice came on.
“Fuck you, bitch,” the voice said. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place a name or face to it.
There were several voicemails from three different voices. Each one was a brief message calling me disgusting names and saying how I turned my back on my badge and the force.
Rodney’s voice was the only one on the final voicemail. “Ali, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.” He sounded completely drunk, like he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. “We’ve been partners since you came to the station. We knew every bit of each other’s’ lives. I’ve had your back every step of the way, and done all that I could to protect you and your sister. All I asked was for you to listen to me, and you couldn’t even do that.” His voice got angrier as he continued. “Hell Ali, I would’ve taken a bullet for you and Amanda, but you can’t even give me a minute of your time. Fucking can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt.” He lowered his voice. “Maybe the guys were right. Maybe he meant more to you than us.”
When the last message ended, I collapsed on the bed. Rodney’s words cut me deep. I loved Matthew, but I always had the backs of every officer in the station including his. Knowing they thought I betrayed them hurt, but it infuriated me even more. If they thought for one moment I would take the insults laying down, they were in for a rude awakening.
The station was quiet when I entered. It was weird being back, even though the last time I was there was a week ago. The anger that was bottled up from the voicemails, bubbled to the top and was bursting at the seams to be released. The door slammed shut behind me, causing every officer to turn towards the noise.
Instead of apologizing, I glared back at each one of them until I picked out which voice I remembered. Seeing Officers Davis and Lombardo huddled together with smirks on their face confirmed they were two of the men on the voicemails. I was just about to rip them a new one when I heard the painstakingly familiar voice of my lieutenant.
“Detective Ryan, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to sort out a few things.”
I knew he didn’t like the sound of my voice, especially when he stared at me and folded his arms across his chest. “My office, now,” he commanded. Sulking like a scorned child, I marched into his office. He closed the door behind us and took a seat at his desk. “Now, you mind telling me what this is really about?”
“I woke up this morning to fifteen missed calls and voicemails from Rodney, and three other men. Two of them I believe are Davis and Lombardo.”
“That’s a strong accusation to throw at them.”
I queued up the voicemails and shoved my phone at the lieutenant. He listened to every single message. His face went from amused to annoyed to angry to downright pissed off.
“Can I go now?” I asked.
“No, I will handle those two, and will find out who the third person is. They will be reprimanded immediately.”
“Reprimanded? Seriously? You’ll yell at them. They’ll apologize and swear they won’t do it again. And the moment you turn your back, they’ll laugh their asses off mocking you, and do whatever they want.”
“So what do you want me to do, Detective?”
“Let me deal with it. I’ll knock some sense into them.”
“You will do no such thing.” Lieutenant Esposito stood up and walked around his desk. “Listen to me, Ali. You are to go home and forget about those two. You are on administrative leave. You are not to step foot in this precinct unless I ask you to come back.”
“So you’re punishing me for my boyfriend’s murder?”
“No, I’m giving you time to grieve, and being here won’t help.” He patted me gently on the arm. “Please, just trust me for once, Ali.”
“Fine, but you better make sure you get me back out in the field soon. I don’t want to wait six months like last time.”
“Trust me; the last thing I want is for you to be hanging around my office all day. Now, get out of here and don’t cause any trouble on the way out.”
Opening the door, I saw Rodney entering the precinct. My blood boiled at the sight of him, even more so after the barrage of prank phone calls and his own message of resentment.
“Ali,” he began, but I cut him off immediately.
“Don’t you dare talk to me.” He appeared startled by the venom in my voice. “After what you did, and the bullshit calls last night, I want nothing to do with you.”
“Ali, I didn’t mean it. I was pissed off and drunk.”
“So I’m supposed to forgive you because you were drunk? You accused me of betraying you and the force.” The whole department was focused on us, but I didn’t care. “You fucking shot and killed my boyfriend, and then you expect me to back you up?”
“Enough,” Esposito shouted from his door. “Ali, go home. Detective Johnson, my office; now.”
Withou
t a word, he stepped around me and entered the lieutenant’s office. I waited until the onlookers returned to their desks before sneaking back to the office door. It took a minute to hear what was being said before noticing the Lieutenant’s voice.
“Rodney, I called you in here because I wanted to let you know I.A. has completed their investigation of the shooting. They decided it would be better if the news came from me before they spoke with you directly.”
“Just tell me, Lieu.”
“They decided to uphold your suspension without pay pending the outcome of the outcome of the District Attorney’s investigation. If the D.A. decides to bring up charges against you…”
“I know, I’ll talk to Mia and get her ready.” The way Rodney sounded, it was as if he knew the police and the D.A. would be knocking on his door any day to arrest him.
Despite my hatred towards Rodney’s recent unforgiveable actions, it was like a knife to my heart to hear Rodney’s world come crashing down around him. He was my friend and partner. It was killing me to know he and his family would have to go through this ordeal, but at the same time Matthew deserved justice.
Chapter 5-Ali
My cell rang, startling me from the near comatose state my daily T.V. binge watching put me in. The display showed the lieutenant’s name and number, shocking considering it had been a week and a half since the last time they spoke.
“Ryan, I need you in Kingston today.”
“Okay, but I haven’t been cleared for active duty.”
“This isn’t a new case. Claire Cain’s lawyer is demanding a meeting with the Assistant District Attorney.”
“So why do you need me in Kingston?”
“Since you were part of the arresting team, A.D.A. Reed wanted you and Detective Thornton to be present, just in case she has any questions regarding the case.”
“What time do you need me?”
“I was told to have you meet at the Kingston station by noon.”
Shit, I had a therapy appointment at one. Somehow I doubted I could wrap up the meeting and drive down to Westchester in an hour. Knowing I couldn’t be in two places at once, I agreed to meet the A.D.A. and cancelled my appointment.
Disappointment was the first feeling that hit me. I had successfully attended the last three appointments I scheduled with Dr. Barron. We made some progress during those sessions. We dealt with the mourning of Matthew’s death, and were getting ready to deal with my lingering emotions surrounding the investigation. Unfortunately, that would have to wait until the following week thanks to the lieutenant.
James and I didn’t coordinate a time or place to meet up. In fact, neither of us spoke about going to Kingston at all. So it was no surprise to see the white Audi sitting in the parking lot of the Kingston Police Station. I entered through the doors and flashed my badge.
“I’m here to meet with A.D.A. Reed.”
One of the men brought me to the back by the cells and knocked on the interrogation room door. “Ma’am, I have Detective Ali Ryan here to see you.”
“Send her in,” a woman’s voice said sternly. She greeted me the moment I entered the room. The worrisome lines on her face and graying strands of hair showed the amount of stress Stacy Reed had been under in a short time. “Ali, we were beginning to think you weren’t going to show.”
I looked at the clock at the far end of the room, noting it was twenty after twelve. Okay, so being on time was never a strong quality of mine. “Sorry, I was stuck in traffic on Route 9W.”
“It’s okay, we were just about to begin.” Reed led the way to the table and asked for the officer to bring another chair.
I found James already seated, sitting across from two women. The first one I recognized as Dr. Claire Cain, the woman who was responsible for the deaths of three men and making it look like suicide. The prim and proper doctor was a pale shell of her former self. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there was no makeup on her face. She looked the complete opposite of her lawyer, who was decked out in a designer pant suit and looked like she just walked out of a salon.
“Detective Ryan, you remember Dr. Cain and her lawyer Rebecca Reynolds?” I kept quiet and merely nodded as A.D.A. Reed took her seat. “Ms. Reynolds, you and your client called this urgent meeting. How can we help you?”
“I will cut right to the chase. My client does not feel safe in prison, and would like a transfer.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing. It wasn’t the first time I heard an inmate ask for a transfer or beg to be let out because they couldn’t handle being locked up.
“Ms. Reynolds, your request should be directed at the prison warden, not the Assistant District Attorney’s office.”
“Typically, I would. However, I feel this is a threat on my client’s life. She received a note on her pillow yesterday when she was out of her cell.” Ms. Reynolds handed the paper over. “We intended to call a meeting next week to discuss a possible deal in exchange for my client’s testimony.”
I moved closer to see the note. If you talk to the police and you die.
“I wasn’t aware of any other case Dr. Cain was tied to,” I whispered. Although, I was curious to find out which case she had information on.
“I’m sorry; which case were you referring to?” Reed asked.
Claire and her attorney huddled together before Ms. Reynolds replied. “The information my client has pertains to her case as well as two other cases.”
“And those cases are?”
“Before we discuss that, we need to ensure my client’s safety and arrange her transfer to another facility.”
“I will personally discuss adding extra security around your client for the time being. However, I cannot authorize a prison transfer.”
“No, but you can plead her case to someone that can. Once Dr. Cain is safe, we will happy to cooperate and tell you everything you need to know.”
“Until we know which cases you are referring to or what information your client has, I will not entertain the thought of a deal.”
“You don’t get it,” Claire snapped. “He will kill me if I talk. I am dead if I mention the cases, or his involvement.”
“Who will kill you, Claire?” I fired back. “Tell us who he is and we can protect you.”
Ms. Reynolds tried to keep her client quiet, but Claire ignored her. “I don’t know his name. I just know he’s responsible for everything. He’s the one behind all the killings.”
“You’re not making any sense, Claire.” I was sick of playing games. I wanted answers and didn’t care how hard I had to press her to get them. “What killings? Which cases are you talking about?”
“The Campus Killer.”
My eyes widened at the sound of the case. Nick DeFalco had been given the moniker of the Campus Killer due to his victims being students of New Paltz. Each death was made to look like a suicide. Of course in the beginning, most believed they were a string of student suicides, but something in my gut kept the cases open.
“We already have all the information needed about the Campus Killer,” A.D.A. Reed said. “The suspect was confirmed to be Nick DeFalco who was shot and killed while attempting to flee.”
“He may have been part of it, but I know there was someone else involved.” Claire threw herself back against the chair and quieted down. She must have realized she said too much, because the three sitting on my side were hanging on every word she spoke.
A.D.A. Reed closed her notepad, placing her hands on top of it. “I will look into a possible transfer. In the meantime, I will speak to the warden about having a guard watching you around the clock.” She stood up from her chair. “But I expect your client to fully cooperate with us the next time we meet.”
We exited the interrogation room and proceeded down the hallway. “What do you think?” James asked.
“I think if she’s telling the truth, there’s a very dangerous person lurking around. We need to find out what she knows and verify it immediate
ly.” Reed turned to me. “You worked the case. Was there any evidence that supported another person could be involved?”
“There was nothing we found that would confirm this.” Then I remembered DeFalco telling me why he killed his victims. When I confronted him about my sister, he said it was something between him and someone else. But before he could tell me who that person was, Matthew tackled him. It made me wonder, what would’ve happened if Matthew hadn’t interfered. I mentioned it to A.D.A. Reed, not knowing how much it would impact her decision.
“Let me look into it and will get back to you.” As we walked down the corridor, a large black male prisoner was being led by several officers. I looked up to see Rodney’s red glassy eyes staring back at me.
“What the hell’s he doing here?” I asked.
“You didn’t hear,” Reed replied. “They brought him up on charges the other day. He must be heading down for arraignment.”
My heart sank at the thought of Rodney going on trial. Despite what he did, he was a good man that happened to make a terrible decision that too many people had to pay for.
“Do you wanna go to the courthouse?” James asked.
I could barely speak after seeing Rodney, but I managed a nod. James put his arm around my waist and guided me to the doors.
The courthouse wasn’t far from the precinct. It was close enough for a quick ten-minute drive. Knowing how much I loved his car, James drove with the top down. The smile was slow to return to my face. It was the first time I really smiled in weeks.
When I entered the courtroom, that smile quickly faded. I’ve been a part of many arraignments, but none that involved a close friend or relative. It was the first time I sat with the rest of the men and women waiting for their time before the judge.
My leg bounced up and down while sitting in my chair. James placed his hand just above my knee. He had an instant soothing effect on me.
“Hey, we don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”
“I need to be here.” My eyes were locked on the front of the room as the bailiff called court to order. The judge moved swiftly to his chair and sat down.
