He would be, Justin thought silently, but said, “I would trust Isabelle with such a man, to keep the vows she had taken with me. I would always trust her.”
“There is no question of that,” Hugo said. “Isabelle is eminently trustworthy. But what of the man?”
“I’d kill him,” Justin admitted tautly.
“Ah.”
“It is not the same!”
“Is it not? You should ask Isabelle and see if she agrees.” Hugo looked at him consideringly.
Justin lowered his gaze, staring hard at the ground. “I do not need to ask her. She has been unhappy, and whether there is any cause for it or no, I will send her cousin away. It is unfair that Lady Evelyn should be the victim of such unfounded jealousies, but I love Isabelle, and will not have her suffer for any reason. She is what matters most to me in this life.” He looked at Hugo, daring him to speak against such blatant heresy. “And if God is jealous, then so be it. I cannot stop the love I feel for her.”
Hugo lifted his hands palm up in’ a placating gesture. “I will give you no argument, my brother. Does not God himself command that a man should love his wife? If the Church condemns such a thing, I, at least, do not.”
Justin nodded. “I will speak with Evelyn this night and tell her that she must go.”
“Shall I take her with me to Briarstone, when I leave on the morrow?”
“Nay, I can’t send her to Chris. He hates the woman. He would not even speak with me when he came to see the child buried, he was so angered that she was here.”
“I thought Sir Christian seemed strangely unsettled. Then I must return for Lady Evelyn when I have finished my duties at Briarstone, another ten days during which she must yet remain beneath your care. Have you in mind a suitable place for the woman to go?”
“I do, but first, there is something I must tell you. I promised Lady Evelyn that I would not speak of this matter, and so you must take the secret I reveal and keep it in confidence, as a priest of the Holy Church, and not as my brother. Will you give me your word on this?”
“I will.”
Briefly, Justin related what Evelyn had told him about the rape she had suffered at the hands of the men who’d brought her to Talwar, and of the child she now bore.
“God’s mercy,” Hugo said afterward. “I am sorry for the girl, and honor your kindness to her, but it is well that you send her away now. ‘Twould greatly pain Isabelle to watch her cousin grow heavy with child when her own has gone to heaven.”
“Aye,” Justin murmured. “I have thought on this, also.”
Hugo put his hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “It would be best for Lady Evelyn to be settled in a goodly place where she can be cared for until her time is due. I suppose she must go to Hugh and Rosaleen.”
“That is what I have decided, as well,” Justin said. “But I fear that Hugh will make a mere mouthful of the poor girl. You know what he is. She’ll be the sparrow to his lion.”
Hugo smiled. “I’ll make him behave. Leave our brother, the mad earl, to me. He’ll treat Lady Evelyn as if she were the queen of England.”
Justin made a face. “That’s what worries me. Better to have him treat her like a common whore. He’s ever had a softness for the poor and desolate.”
“Would you rather that I take her to Alex? She’d not last a full minute in Castle Gyer before the heat of his fire burned her to cinders.”
“Nay, nay, take her to Siere,” Justin said quickly. “Surely Hugh will feel some responsibility, as he was the one who chose her for my bride.”
“I will return for her, then, ten days from the morrow. Tell Lady Evelyn to be ready when I come to fetch her. And when I have returned, I will perform the ceremony to sanctify Lady Isabelle. Enough time has passed since she lost the child, and I would have her churched so that she may again attend mass, also so that you may resume your marriage in every way, and make your new beginning together.”
“It is what I desire above all else,” Justin said. “We were content and filled with every happiness before Evelyn came. Mayhap you are right about these matters, Hugo. If by sending Evelyn away, Isabelle and I can regain all that we have lost, then I will be glad to have her gone.”
“You want me to leave Talwar?” Evelyn repeated, staring at him with wide eyes. She clutched the shawl she had brought with her to the smithy more closely about her shoulders. “You asked me here to tell me this? That you want me gone?”
“Aye,” Justin said with a nod. “It is for the best, Evelyn. You have been good to us while you have been here, and Isabelle and I are grateful, but I would ask you to go. My brother, Father Hugo, must journey to Briarstone in the morn, but in ten days he will return to escort you to Siere.”
“You gave me your promise,” she whispered. “You told me that I could remain at Talwar until the child was born, that you would help me to decide what to do.” Her mouth began to quiver, and her eyes grew moist. “You gave me your solemn vow.”
It seemed strange to Justin that he should feel disappointed in her for saying such a thing, for not readily accepting his decision, as he’d expected her to do. He’d spent the evening meal watching Isabelle dabbing at her food, seeing how pale and sad she looked, and the knowledge that Evelyn must leave had gripped him even more firmly. She must go. For Isabelle’s sake, and for his.
“You’ll be content at Siere. My brother, the earl, and his wife, Lady Rosaleen, will see to your every comfort. They will care for you tenderly until the child comes, and then will lend you aid in determining your future afterward. I give you my vow—”
“Your vows!” she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Do not speak to me of vows, when yours have proven to be naught but false!”
“Evelyn.” He took a step toward her, pushing away the desire to take her in his arms and give her comfort. “Do not, I beg you. I will miss you when you have gone, for you have been a dear friend to me.”
“Will you miss me?” she asked, sniffing loudly. “Do you care for me, Justin?”
“Of course I do,” he began, but the next moment she pitched against him, holding him tight with both arms wrapped about his waist.
“I knew you did,” she said, with a tear-filled fierceness that surprised him. “Just as I care for you. Do not make me go away. Please, my lord. I beg you to let me stay with you here. Please do not make me leave Talwar.”
He set his arms about her in a light embrace and thought of Isabelle’s unhappy face. “You must. I am sorry, Evelyn, but that is the way it will be. I would ask one thing of you before you go.” With a finger, he lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. “I would have you tell Isabelle about the child you carry. I know it is much to ask, but I want her to know why I have let you remain at Talwar so long. She has begun to think there is another reason, and I would not let her continue believing any such falseness.”
“I cannot,” she said, shaking her head. “Oh, Justin, do not ask it of me.”
“I wish you could be spared the telling, but Isabelle should have known the truth long ago. I had thought that the babe would make itself known before this. It is only right to speak the truth now. Surely you agree that it is so. You would not leave Talwar letting Isabelle think what she does?”
“I don’t care what she thinks!” Evelyn told him, sobbing. “How can you send me away because of her?”
Justin stiffened. “How could I not?” he asked. “She is my wife, and I love her. You are dear to me, Evelyn, like a sister. But you are not my wife.”
She pressed her face against his chest and wept miserably, and Justin stroked her hair with a gentle hand, waiting patiently for her to master herself.
“Very well,” she said at last, pushing away with sudden anger. She wiped her face and glared at him, and the expression in her eyes made Justin tense with unaccountable unease. For a moment, she looked as if she were capable of committing murder. “I will tell Isabelle the truth. Before I go with Father Hugo, I’ll tell her everythi
ng. I give you my word of honor on it, my lord, Sir Justin, and that is something that I know better than you how to keep.”
Chapter Twenty-One
From her chamber window, beneath the light the full moon provided, Isabelle watched Justin leave the smithy, without Evelyn, whom he had taken there, and stride purposefully toward the manor house. In only a few moments he was entering the front doors, and a few moments later she heard him opening and closing his chamber door. Then she heard very little else. The door that adjoined their chambers was almost always kept closed now; she couldn’t hear him moving about as she’d used to do when it had always been kept open.
With a sigh, she moved to sit on the edge of her bed and waited for Odelyn to come and help her undress. Justin and she had once performed such tasks for each other, but no more. Not since she had lost the babe. He hadn’t touched her since that night a month past. He had been as civil and kind to her as a husband should be to a wife, but he’d not touched her. There were times when Isabelle thought that perhaps only death might be worse.
There had been a few strange nights when she came awake suddenly, thinking that Justin was with her, when she was so certain he was standing in her chamber, or sitting on her bed, speaking to her in his soft whisper, stroking her hands and kissing her face. But each time she’d awaken to find herself alone, her chamber dark and silent, save for the fire in the hearth.
Such dreams and longings were a torment, but worse was his absence from her bed. Isabelle had never before known that a woman could want a man so much, or that it was possible to love so deeply and fully that she didn’t care for anything but to be with him again, even for a small time, just to hear his voice or feel his kiss. But Justin no longer cared to share her bed, or even to be with her if he could instead be with Evelyn. Sometimes, during those few occasions when he spoke to her, he didn’t even bother to look her in the eye. It was as if, she thought sadly, he had come to dislike her so much that he could not bear to see her face.
“I must go,” she whispered softly, hearing the words aloud as she had thought them in silence so many times. “He does not want me anymore.”
If only the child had lived, she thought. How wonderful it would have been. Even if Justin had decided to keep Evelyn at Talwar as his mistress, Isabelle would at least have had his child for comfort, and she yet would have been his wife. Surely he would not have sent her away. Not when she had given him a daughter whom he would not wish to see made illegitimate. And he might have continued to visit her bed in the hopes of conceiving an heir. Now, perhaps, Evelyn would be the one to give him children, if he made her his wife in Isabelle’s stead.
And he would take Evelyn, she thought miserably. Why should he not do so, when he clearly loved her?
“And what will happen to me then?” she said, putting her fingers against her eyes to keep the tears away. She had cried so many tears for her lost babe, and was weary to death of the pain. “And to Senet? Will he send us away? Will he let us go to Sir Alexander?”
Sir Alexander would take them in; he would give them a home if she agreed to labor as his steward.
But, oh, God above, would Justin make her leave? Would he tell her, in that kind way of his, that he had been wrong to take her in Evelyn’s place? That it was Evelyn he wanted now, and not her? Not her…not when he could have a wife so beautiful and clever.
The adjoining door suddenly opened, and Isabelle stood from the bed just as Justin came into the room.
“Isabelle?” he said tentatively, as if seeking her permission to be there. Then, seeing her, he repeated, “Isabelle,” and moved toward her with one hand stretched out. “Are you weeping?”
“Nay,” she said, but his fingers, touching the wetness on her cheeks, contradicted the word.
His hand gently smoothed over her skin, then her hair. His expression was filled with the tender concern that she had come to know in him. But it was an expression he might have held for anyone whom he pitied.
“You are weary,” he said. “And not yet recovered from your illness. Let me help you get ready for sleep.”
“It is not necessary,” she said, her heart aching from the thought that he would perform the familiar task without the desire he had once felt for her. “Odelyn will be here in a moment.”
“Nay, she will not,” he said with a small smile. “I told her that I would attend my wife this night, that she was not to come. I hope you will not be angered with me.” His fingers moved to the laces at the leather belt around her waist.
Isabelle swallowed. “How could I be? You are the master of Talwar, and may do as you please.”
He tossed the belt to the bed behind them. “Aye, and so I am,” he murmured, loosening the laces on the front of her surcoat. “Does it displease you to have your husband perform this service for you?”
Isabelle lowered her head. “Nay,” she said.
“I have missed doing it,” he told her, turning her by the shoulders so that he might more easily pull the heavy wool garment from her shoulders, until she remained clothed only in her chemise. Setting the surcoat beside the belt, he gently pushed her down onto the bed to sit, and knelt before her, reaching his hands up beneath her skirt to unlace her undergarments.
“Hugo will leave in the morn to journey to Briarstone,” he said after an uncomfortable silence had stretched between them. “In ten days, he will return, and many things will change.” He pulled the undergarments free of her legs, and put them on the bed. Still kneeling, he looked up into her face. His hands were warm on her bare legs, gently kneading her calves and ankles, sending pleasant sensations tingling up Isabelle’s spine. “Hugo is going to take Evelyn with him to Siere, but before they depart, he is going to—”
“Evelyn!” Isabelle repeated. “She will be leaving Talwar?”
Justin nodded. “And Hugo will properly church you, so that we may be man and wife again.”
Isabelle was so relieved and pleased at the idea of Evelyn leaving that she barely heard what Justin said about being churched again, fully purified after the loss of the babe and allowed to enter a holy sanctuary once more.
“We cannot lawfully resume our marriage until that time, as you know,” Justin said, his hands warm and caressing. “But, when the time has come, and if it is your wish, I will keep to my own chamber even after you have been purified. You must only let me know what you desire, and it will be so.”
If it was what she desired? Isabelle thought numbly. Was it what he desired? Was he hoping she would release him of his obligations as a husband?
“Justin…” she began, but he stopped her.
“Let me tell you everything, first, before you speak. I’ve been afraid of this moment, so much that I’ve put it off like any craven coward, but now it is here I must speak all that is in my heart.” The words came out haltingly. “There is much for which I must beg your forgiveness, Isabelle. This past month, I have lived in torment, remembering the foul words I spoke to you before you lost our child. They were lies, wicked and untrue. Every word.” He lowered his head. “And by speaking them in my anger, I hurt you badly, and perhaps—” he drew in a shuddering breath “—perhaps I caused you to lose the babe.”
“Justin, nay,” she said gently, setting her hand upon his cheek and lifting his face. The misery she saw written there tore at her heart. “How could you think such a thing? I had no idea that you did so, else I would have put an end to such foolishness. If either of us is to blame, it is me. Never you, my lord. The words I spoke that night were far worse than yours, but to the sin of speaking them I must also add the sin of faithlessness, for never did you deserve that from me.”
“You were unhappy,” he told her, taking her hand in both of his and holding it tightly. “I would not listen to you, nor accept the truth of what was before my own eyes. And now, I am sorry. So sorry.” His kissed her fingertips reverently, keeping his eyes closed as he asked, “Will you forgive me, Isabelle?”
The ache inside her was eased by a rus
h of tenderness and love. “I am the one who should ask forgiveness of you.” She stroked her other hand over his soft hair. “If there was any reason or need to forgive you, my lord, then know that I have done so long ago.”
The taut line of his shoulders relaxed slightly, and he nodded. “It is enough for now. Thank you, Isabelle.”
She smiled and prayed that he would stay with her. If he would lie beside her, holding her through the night, then she would know that all was well.
But he only kissed her hand again and pushed to his feet. “I will leave you to find your rest. I would ask of you, before I go, that you consider in what manner you wish our marriage to proceed once you have been churched, whether we shall go on as before, or if such would be distasteful to you. I beg that you will have no fear in making your decision, Isabelle, for whatever it may be, I will honor your wishes.”
He left her sitting on the bed, staring at the door, which he had closed after him, with a thousand conflicting thoughts whirling through her mind. Had he only come to receive her forgiveness? Because he felt guilty for wanting to put her away, or because he wished to put the past behind them before they went on? He had not spoken of love, nor had he told her what his own desire for the future of their marriage was. He had only been gentle and kind, as he was to everyone, and had asked her forgiveness, just as he would ask it of anyone he felt responsible for.
“I do not care how it may trouble you!” Evelyn told her father hotly, one hand fisting about the reins of the steed as it restlessly pawed the ground. “You’d best be ready to take Isabelle before ten days are gone, or you’ll not be able to take her at all!”
“Calm yourself, Evelyn.” Sir Myles’s calm tone was a stark contrast to his daughter’s. He stood facing her with a composure. that belied their location, as if they were conversing casually in their London home, rather than in the midst of the forest of Talwar and in the dark of night. He pulled his cloak more tightly about his neck in deference to the night’s chill, and cast a glance at his men, who stood a short distance away with their horses. “How difficult can it be to make Sir Justin change his mind? It’s too soon for me to take Isabelle, unless you can somehow make her ready more quickly. She’s to come of her own will, remember, else our plan fails altogether.”
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