by Emily Minton
I left him the next day. I snuck out of our hotel while he was sleeping. I walked through the airport, head down, trying to hide my bruises. My heart pounded with each step I took.
I used most of my savings to fly home. When I got back to Kansas City, I got a hotel room and hid for three days. I kept trying to figure out how to get away from Dean, without telling my family what happened, but came up with nothing. On the third night, Dean found me.
Dean forced me to come home. He beat the living hell out of me for running away. It was way worse than the first time. After he was done, he got out his doctor bag and patched me up. I ended up with two broken ribs and nine stitches. He warned me that it would be worse if I ever tried to leave him again. He then went to work like nothing ever happened.
Dean didn’t promise not to do it again, and he never said he was sorry. He just told me if I was a proper wife, he wouldn’t have to punish me. I did try to run away again; I’ve tried to leave him many times. I did not want Jenny to grow up in a home full of abuse and anger. I pressed charges more than once, but Dean and Bethany’s father is the only judge in our little town. I guess things like domestic violence get swept under the rug when your daddy’s a judge. I finally quit trying to leave, knowing getting away wasn’t an option.
At first, I wondered why he changed so much after we were married. After a lot of soul searching, I have come to realize that he didn’t change at all. He just hid his true self from me until he knew that I couldn’t get away.
Shaking off the memories, I sit up in the bed and push my dark hair behind my ears. “Bethany, can you get me a phone please? I need to call my family. They’ll be worried.”
“I already did that, Jules. Kristen, your Uncle Mack, and Matty are on their way.”
Oh Shit! No, no, no. “What? You didn’t tell them anything, did you?”
Bethany completely ignores me. “Jenny is really excited to see them. She says they always bring her a surprise,” she adds with a sad smile.
I can tell Bethany is feeling guilty again. She has told me a million times how bad she feels that she didn’t tell me about Dean before he and I got married. I’ve told her over and over that this is not her fault, and that she did try to warn me. She is stuck in her own world of pain, all courtesy of Dean and his parents. I know Dean has hurt me, but he has fucked Bethany up in a way that I’m not sure she can ever overcome. Having her parents ignore years of Dean torturing her didn’t help either.
Bethany has never told me everything Dean has done to her, but I know it’s bad. I’ve seen him beat her more than once. I have also seen him look at her in a way that no brother should ever look at a sister. I tried to get her to stay away, but she keeps coming back. She won’t leave me to suffer Dean on my own.
Bethany tugs on my hand. “I’ve got some news.”
I know she isn’t going to tell me what she told my family, so I just nod for her to go on.
“Well, do you remember me telling you about Cynthia Cook?”
“Of course I remember.” She is a big time divorce lawyer from the city. People say she is like a pit bull. She grabs a man by the balls and doesn’t let go until there’s nothing left. She’d be perfect, but I don’t have the $25,000 retainer. Yes, I am a doctor’s wife, but I have no money. None! I do not have access to one cent. I can’t buy a Snickers bar without permission.
I worked as a legal secretary for two years before Dean and I were married. I enjoyed my job, but Dean made me quit as soon as we said our ‘I do’s’. At the time, I thought he did it to control me, and that keeping me from working was part of it. But now, I think he was also worried that my co-workers would see the results of my regular beatings.
Bethany and I have already talked about getting a good lawyer a million times. She keeps saying she will come up with the money somehow, but I know that’s not going to happen. She’s a teacher with hardly enough money to pay her own bills.
I could always ask my family or Pop. Even Matty and Shane would help, but then I’d have to explain what was going on. I can’t do that. I know my guys, and they would hurt Dean. They’d end up in jail, and I refuse to let them pay for my mistakes.
“Well, Ms. Cook took your case,” Bethany says with a true smile, a smile I rarely see.
“What? How? I don’t have the money, and neither do you.”
“It seems that Ms. Cook doesn’t like it very much when a husband abuses his wife, and she hates my father.” She smiles again. “Her sister was in a little fender bender, and she was in the ER waiting room at the same time as I was. I happened to run into her getting coffee. I figured what the heck? I told her everything. She then came back to see you. As soon as she looked at you, she was ready to go after Dean. When she realized who our Dad was, and what he was doing to cover for Dean, she was practically drooling to have a go at him.” Bethany looks at me and giggles.
“Yeah, then what happened?” I have to know what’s going on.
“She said she had some things to do. She left without even getting my number, so I was afraid that we’d never see her again, but she was back in less than three hours. With divorce papers!” She screams the last part before rushing to her purse and pulling out a set of papers.
I break into tears.
Chapter 2
Jase
I’m speechless as I listen to Mack tell me about what Julie has been going through with her fucking husband. I want to kill that bastard for hurting her. “He can’t get away with hurting her. He’s gonna pay for hurting my girl.”
“Julie’s coming home, Jase, but she’s not your girl anymore. You need to remember that, son.” Mack talks to me like I’m still a kid and I can’t stand it.
“Fuck that. I’ve wanted her back since she left. I haven’t changed my mind.”
Matty laughs at that, then adds, “She doesn’t want you, man. And with what you’ve been like since she left, she probably never will, especially with Becca still hanging around.”
“There is nothing going on with me and Becca anymore.”
He just shakes his head.
“What? You don’t believe me?”
“Maybe there isn’t now, but how do you think Jules is going to feel when she finds out the one time she caught you fucking her friend wasn’t the only time you’ve screwed around on her, or about how you kept fucking Becca for months after she left? Do you think you can explain that shit away?” Matty replies.
“Not to mention the fact that you’ve had pretty much every hot chick in the county and a lot of the ugly bitches too. You really think Jules will want you when she finds out how you’ve been spending your time?” Shane asks.
“Or that you’re drinking yourself into an early grave?” Pop adds.
I ignore them all and look at Mack.
“I’m coming with you to get her,” I say to Mack with determination.
“No, son, you aren’t,” he says. “You’re going to leave my niece alone. If she wants to see you or talk to you, she’ll come to you. It’s because of your fuck up that she ran away in the first place. I won’t have you be the reason she runs away again.”
With that, Matty and Mack walk out the door. Julie’s aunt Angie is sitting at the table crying, and Shane is just staring out the window.
I slump down onto the couch. I run my fingers through my hair and let out a frustrated breath. My pop comes over and sits next to me. “Boy, I can see so much of myself in you. I don’t want you to follow in my footsteps. You know how that ended. I did the same thing to your mom. I fucked around on her all the time. I hurt my Chelle every damn day.” He takes a deep breath and adds, “She ran off that night, got in that accident. I know her death is my fault. If it wasn’t for me and my dick, she’d still be here with us. I was never given another chance to make it right with Michelle. You want to make it right with Julie? Give her some time. She’s bound to run into Becca and a few other women you’ve been with, and I can almost guarantee, they won’t make it easy for her.”
Shit, he’s right. Becca was once one of her best friends, and the whole time we were together, she was trying to get with me. She was always trying to leave her mark, or show up where I was, in hopes that Julie would catch us together. I never saw it back then, but I can see it clearly now. How could I have been so stupid? Then there is Brittany. That bitch has hated Julie since they were kids. I know she’ll be rubbing in the fact that she’s had a piece of me in Julie’s face.
“We’ve got to tell him, before she gets here,” Shane mumbles.
“I don’t think now is the right time,” Angie replies, but she’s looking at me.
“It’s time,” Pop agrees.
“But-” Angie starts, but Pop doesn’t give her a chance to finish.
“It’s time,” Pop repeats.
Angie brings her face to her hands and takes a deep breath. Finally, she looks up at me and motions for me to come sit by her.
I’m scared, honest-to-fucking-God scared. The looks on the faces of those around me make the color slip from my face and my heartbeat speed up. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I know I’m about to be all kinds of fucked.
Pop takes out his wallet. He pulls out a picture and hands it to me. My hands shake as I take it. I’m still not looking at it. I’m not ready.
“That’s Jenny, Julie’s daughter. Jennifer Michelle. Look at her, Jase,” Pop says quietly.
Michelle. She named her daughter after my mom. My heart is ripping in two. I can’t fucking look. I can’t look at my Julie’s kid. She wasn’t supposed to have kids with someone else. It should have been us. It should be my baby in that picture.
“Look at her, son,” orders Pop.
I finally stare down at the picture in my hand. My God, she’s beautiful. She has Julie’s blue eyes, but her hair is a lot lighter. Her hair is a lot like my mom’s was and Shane’s is. She’s got a deep dimple on her left cheek, just like Pop and Matty. She’s got a crooked smile, just like mine.
The truth hits me like a punch to the gut. Oh my God, she’s mine. I have a daughter! I drop the picture, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I struggle to breathe as my head starts to spin. I look at Pop. “When was she born?”
He looks nervously to Shane and Angie. Then, he looks back at me. “She’s eight. She’ll be nine at the end of September.”
I can feel a rush of anger coursing through my veins. “Why didn’t Julie tell me?”
They all look guilty as hell, but no one is saying a word.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” I shout, demanding an answer.
Finally, Shane speaks. “Everyone told her not to. None of us thought that you were ready to be a dad. Shit, Jase, you’re ruining your own life. We didn’t want you to ruin hers too.”
My anger boils over, and I rush to him. Wrapping my hand around his throat, I push him into the wall.
“Did you ever think I would have been different if I knew I had a daughter out there somewhere? When did you find out about her?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer.
Shane doesn’t answer. He can’t; my hand is wrapped too tightly around his neck. “Now, tell me why the fuck you knew I had a daughter, but never felt the need to enlighten me.”
“Julie called as soon as she realized she was pregnant. It was my decision not to tell you. I didn’t think you would be able to handle it,” Pop says in a quiet voice as he lays a hand on my arm.
I release my brother and shake off my pop’s hand. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. You didn’t even think I deserved to know my own child.”
Not able to look at them any longer, I turn around and walk out the door.
Fuck them all, every single one of them.
Julie
The door opens, and Kristen walks in, Uncle Mack and Matty following behind her. Kristen runs right to my bed and starts to yell. Her voice is so full of emotion that I can feel her pain deep in my soul. “Oh my God, Julie.” She says, as she sits on the edge of the bed and grabs my hand. “Are you okay?”
Her long blonde hair is tied in a knot on the top of her head, and her deep blue eyes are puffy. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days; probably spent her time crying instead of sleeping. I squeeze her hand. “I’m fine, just a little banged up is all.”
She narrows her eyes. “A little banged up, my ass.”
“You look more like you went ten rounds with a prize fighter,” Uncle Mack says as he grabs my foot and gives it a squeeze. His eyes are sad. Just seeing the strain in them causes me to flinch.
“I’ve had enough of this shit. I don’t care what his daddy does this time. Dean is going to pay, and you are coming home with us,” Kristen says, venom in her voice, before letting go of my hand.
She returned to Cromwell after graduating from college, but she still came to visit all the time. She used to stay with Dean and me, but she started staying with Bethany after witnessing one of Dean and my fights. I forgot to iron his blue shirt. Of course, that earned me a black eye. After that, Kristen begged me to leave Dean. When I explained the situation, she backed off. She never gave up trying to get me to leave, but she let me make my own decision.
“Did you at least press charges this time?”
I don’t even have time to reply to Kristen before the room erupts into chaos. Uncle Mack and Kristen are detailing exactly what they have planned for Dean. Kristen’s version is more gruesome, but Uncle Mack’s is more frightening, mostly because I know he means every word he says. Dean better pray to God that he never sees Mack again.
Jenny is squealing and looking between the three newcomers. Completely oblivious to the drama, she is smiling from ear to ear. I’m sure she’s trying to decide who to go to first, but to do that, she needs to figure out which one brought her the best surprise.
Oblivious or not, I don’t want her in here for this. “Can someone please take Jenny to get something from the vending machine? She asked for a snack right before you came in.”
Mack gives me a look, letting me know we will be finishing this discussion soon, before grabbing Jenny’s hand and leading her from the room.
The moment they’re gone, Kristen starts in again. This time, she is detailing how she is going to un-man Dean with a very dull laugh. I ignore her and look across the room to Matty. I do my best to smile without making my aching face hurt any worse.
“I’m going to kill that motherfucker,” he says as he walks over to my bed. I can only imagine how bad I look.
“I’m okay.”
“Yeah, you’re just fucking peachy,” he replies sarcastically, letting out an irritated grunt.
I reach out and grab his hand, needing him to listen to me. “I’m fine. I promise. I’m gonna be all right.”
“There is nothing fine about having bruises all over your beautiful face.” He runs his free hand through his hair before letting out a muffled curse. “Shit, Jules, you look like you got hit by a truck. What the hell did he do to you?”
Kristen is still loudly cussing Dean, while Bethany tries to calm her down. It’s just too much. I can barely hear myself think, so instead of responding, I just close my eyes and wait for them to settle down.
“You need to quiet down a little, Kris. I don’t want the nurses to make us leave,” I hear Bethany say softly.
Of course, Kristen doesn’t listen, and the room just gets louder. Bethany keeps trying to talk, but Kris isn’t paying her one bit of attention. Now, Bethany is usually as quiet as a mouse, so what she does next surprises the hell out of me.
She puts two fingers in her mouth and blows. I have never heard anyone whistle so loud in my life. Everyone stops talking and looks at her like she’s lost her mind.
The shrill sound causes a pain to burst in my head. Placing my fingers on my temples, I start to rub circles. “Yeah, that’s a good way to keep the nurses out.”
“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. Her cheeks are bright pink, and I can tell she’s embarrassed. “I was trying to get Kristen to calm down, but...” Her voice trails of
f.
“You got her to shut up now, darlin’, so what’s so important?” Matty asks with a shit-eating grin.
“Okay. I was trying to say that Dean has signed the divorce papers.”
“Really?” Kristen asks her before turning to me. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “You’re really free?”
“Well, we have to wait for it to be final, but I’m definitely on my way to being free.”
“Why? What changed? Dean always said he’d never let you go.”
“Seems like Bethany likes pit bulls,” I say with a smile.
Bethany explains about meeting my dream lawyer and all that followed. I didn’t get a lot out of the divorce, mostly just my personal belongings. When it’s said and done, I should have enough to get a little house with some left to get by on until I get a job, but most importantly, Jenny and I are getting a fresh start. We will never have to see Dean again. After a lot of negotiation, and a few threats from the pit bull, he agreed to have no further contact with me or my daughter. I even get to live in our house until the end of July, so I will get a chance to get all of Jenny and my things to take back to Cromwell with us. All I had to do was agree to not press charges against him or go public with what his father has been doing to cover up Dean’s crimes. At this point, I would agree to anything just to get away from him.
“Does this mean my girls are coming home?” Matty says, but it sounds more like a question.
I’m not sure if Tennessee is my home anymore, but it’s the only place I have left to go. I know it’s going to be hard seeing Jase again, but I have no choice. It’s time to go back to Cromwell. It’s time for Jenny to meet her father.
