by Emily Minton
“Come on, sleepy head. Get up. Momma’s got a surprise for you today,” I say, gently shaking her awake. The word surprise has her sitting up and smiling.
“What kind of surprise?” she asks in the sweet sleepy voice that only kids have.
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.”
Her eyes narrow a bit, and a pout forms on her lips. “It would too.”
“I put your clothes in the bathroom. Take your shower and then come down to eat breakfast. I’m going to make chocolate-chip pancakes,” I say ignoring her.
I give her a kiss on the top of her head and go to the kitchen, leaving her to get ready by herself. Before I make it to the kitchen, the phone rings. “Hello?” I answer. No one answers back, but I hear breathing. “Hello?” With my second hello, whoever is on the line has hung up. Looking at the phone confused, I put it back down on the table.
It’s the fifth hang-up I’ve gotten in the last three days. I’m pretty sure it’s Dean, but the number is blocked, so there’s no way to prove it. I shake it off, refusing to let him get to me today.
I’m in the middle of making the fifth pancake when someone knocks on the door.
I look out the window, and Jase is standing on my front porch. I’m not ready for this. No way, no how. I peek up the stairs to make sure Jenny isn’t out of the shower yet. I’m not going to let this day get ruined. I open the door and step out. “What do you want?” I snarl at Jase.
“You said I could see my daughter.”
“I said you could see her if you got yourself straightened out. Don’t tell me you had some big epiphany last night.” Yeah, I’m being a bitch, but I can’t stop the venom from flying out of my mouth.
“Yeah, I guess I did. Everything changed the moment I saw our daughter. Shit, it changed the moment I saw you.” He takes a deep breath. “Come on, Julie. You may hate me, but you know I’d never hurt that little girl. All I want is to get to know her. Please,” he begs, and I can feel my resolve start to crumble. I have to stay strong. I can’t let him into her life if he’s still drinking and whoring.
“Really? How do I know you won’t hurt her? You practically destroyed me,” I hiss at him, my bitch still shining brightly.
“You don’t think that not knowing my daughter destroyed me? How about the fact that everyone but me knew about her? My own father and brothers knew, but no one told me a damn thing. You don’t think that fucking kills me?” he asks through clenched teeth. “Julie, I want to know Jenny. I want to be her dad.”
He’s right. I know he’s right, but I just can’t do this today.
“You do have that right to get to know your daughter, but you’ll have to do it some other time. I’m sorry, but we have plans today. I’m gonna take her to music row for a little shopping,” I say, trying to close the door, but his hand comes out and stops me.
“Could I come with you?” he asks.
“I don’t-” My response is cut short by sounds of footsteps flying down the stairs. When I look behind me, Jenny is standing on the bottom step, staring at Jase like he’s some kind of movie star.
“Oh Momma, this is the best surprise ever.” She runs over and gives me a big hug, then smiles up to Jase. I look at him, and his eyes are wet, but his smile is just as big as Jenny’s. I know what I have to do; I have to try to work past the pain and let him be part of our daughter’s life.
“Well, the pancakes are getting cold. Let’s get inside to eat.” I push Jenny through the door and look back at Jase. He’s staring at me, waiting for my next move. I stand to the side and hold the door open for him.
He looks down at his feet and runs his hand through his hair, then steps through the door. “Thank you,” he whispers as he follows Jenny to the kitchen.
We spend a few awkward moments stepping around each other, while I make more pancakes and finally decide it’s time to call Matty. Excusing myself, I step into the bathroom and pull the phone from my pocket. He answers on the second ring. “Hey, Jules.”
“You want to go to Nashville today?”
“Uhmm…I don’t know. Give me a second.” I hear muffled voices in the background before he answers. “I guess I can.”
I don’t bother explaining things to him, just tell him to get his ass here as quickly as possible, and then slide my phone back into my pocket. As soon as I step back into the kitchen, I smile at Jenny. “Uncle Matty is coming with us today too.”
She runs up and gives me a big hug. “Oh, this surprise keeps getting better and better. Thanks, Momma.”
I smile again before turning her back toward the table. “We won’t be going anywhere if you don’t eat your breakfast.”
After she climbs back into her seat, I go over to the counter to get my plate. A second later, Jase slides in next to me and grabs another pancake. “Are you afraid to be alone with me?” he asks quietly.
“Nope, I just figured you would want some time alone with Jenny, so I figured Matty could keep me company while you two hung out together.”
He smiles and shakes his head. He knows I’m lying, but I will never admit it. “You better eat. Matty will be here soon.”
He winks and heads back to the table. Sliding back into his chair, he ruffles the top of Jenny’s hair. She smiles so brightly that it brings tears to my eyes. In that instant, I know that I should have never kept them apart.
I slowly make my way into the chair opposite of Jase and do my best to keep my tears from falling. We finish up breakfast with Jenny asking Jase every question she can think of. Just as I start to clear the table, I hear Matty come in and turn around to look at him. “Babe, I’m here.”
“He calls you babe?” Jase says in a low tone as he follows me to the sink. His voice is harsh, and the jealousy in it is easily heard.
For some reason, his question and the tone of his voice causes a flash of anger to run through me. Deciding to play up whatever this thing is, I walk over to Matty and wrap my arms around his neck for a hug. “Just play along with me for the day,” I whisper into his ear.
He smiles, and his hands start to move lower on my back, pushing me into his body more. I can feel an electric current fill the room, and I know it’s coming from Jase. He doesn’t have the right to feel jealous or possessive over me, but there is a small part of me that enjoys knowing he does.
I step back from Matty’s arms and tell him our plans for the day. I turn back around to face Jase and Jenny. Jenny is talking to him, but he is looking at Matty and me. He looks furious, and that just makes me smile. I know I’m being a bitch, but I’m enjoying it too much to quit.
I look right into Jase’s eyes. “You and Jenny will do all that fun stuff, while Matty and I hang out at Legend’s Corner. It’s perfect. You two can get to know each other better, and Matty and I can have some adult fun.”
I don’t let anyone answer. I grab Matty’s hand and leave the room, dragging him with me into my bedroom before shutting the door. “I can’t believe he’s doing this to me. I had this whole day planned out for Jenny and me, and he just shows up.”
“Babe, calm down. Jase wants to get to know Jenny. I’m here now. It’s good,” he says with a smile.
“It’s not good. Nothing is good,” I say with a shake of my head. “I just know that something bad is going to happen.”
He ignores me and opens the bedroom door. Walking out into the hall, he looks over his shoulder. “You should have seen his face when you gave me that hug. It looked a lot like it did when you announced we would be having some grown up fun. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.” He finishes using air quotes and chuckling loudly.
“Screw you, Matty.”
Jase
What in the hell are they doing in her bedroom? There better not be anything going on between Matty and Julie. If there is, I’m going to kick my brother’s ass. As that thought passes through my mind, words he said long ago come back to haunt me.
“If she comes back, she’s not yours anymore. You better remember that, because I h
ope like hell that I can make her mine.”
Those were the words he spoke when she left me, but I’ll be damned if they come true. Julie is mine; always has been, always will be. I may not have her back yet, but I will soon. Once I get her, I’m never letting her go. Not even my brother will take her away from me.
“I’m so glad you’re not busy anymore.” Jenny’s words pull me from thoughts of what’s going on in Julie’s bedroom.
“What do you mean, busy?”
“Momma told me why you couldn’t come and see me. You wanted to, but you were busy like Uncle Brandon and Uncle Will. They’re busy being soldiers. They go to faraway places, just to keep little girls like me safe. Momma says she can’t tell me why you’re so busy, that it’s a big secret, but that I always have your heart. I’m not sure how your heart can be with me. Doesn’t it need to be in you, to make you stay alive?” she asks in a serious tone.
I don’t know how to answer her, so I just pull her into my lap and give her a big hug. I’m not sure what Julie has told her about me, but it doesn’t sound like it was bad. Thank God for that. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and make Julie or me look like liars.
“If you’re not too busy anymore, are you going to come see me like other daddies do?”
“Yes, you’re going to see me so much that you’ll get tired of looking at my face,” I promise.
“Oh no, I won’t. You’re pretty,” she says with a smile. I’m fucking beaming now. My daughter thinks I’m pretty. I know the guys at the garage would laugh their asses off if they heard her say that, but I don’t give damn. It’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.
“Daddy, can you call me something?” she asks, making no sense at all.
“What do you mean?”
“All the other daddies call their little girls something nice, like my friend Autumn’s daddy calls her honey bun, and Tracy’s daddy calls her pumpkin. I want you to call me something nice too.”
I think for a minute, trying to come up with a name that’s special enough for my little girl. It has to be something special, something precious, just like her. Then, it hits me. My mom’s perfume.
“Did you know you were named after my mom?” I ask.
She nods her head. “I’m named after my Grandma Chelle. She’s my guardian angel, always watching me from heaven.”
Her words warm my heart, and I feel the urge to go to Julie and drop to my knees, beg her for forgiveness, and thank her for giving me such a wonderful little girl. “Well, my mom always wore this perfume that smelled like a sweet pea flower. It’s a beautiful flower, all small and delicate, just like you, so how about I call you sweet pea?”
She smiles and pulls me in for a hug. “I love it, Daddy!”
“I love you, Sweet Pea.”
Chapter 7
Julie
I’ve always loved coming to Music Row. Kristen, Becca, and I used to come up here all the time. That was before Becca became a bitch. We’d listen to the music, fill up on junk food, and spend all of our money on the tourist crap. It didn’t matter that we lived less than an hour out of Nashville; a Music City tee was still cool as shit!
Some guys are playing their guitars on the street, and Jenny thinks that is so awesome. She throws all her allowance in their guitar case and requests a Taylor Swift song. Seeing these guys playing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is really funny, until I notice Jase looking at me. I give him a look that clearly says you should listen to this song. He just shakes his head and smiles. I have to fight my own smile, knowing he is melting my heart with each look.
I look over at Matty to see him watching Jenny with a smile on his face. It’s sad that he is more of a father to her than her own father. Seeing Jase and her together has really opened my eyes. I now know without a shadow of a doubt that everyone was wrong; I should have told him about her the day she was born. Jase deserved the chance to be her father. More importantly, Jenny deserved the chance to have a dad.
“I think we should head over to the zoo. What about y’all?” I ask with a smile, trying to shake the sadness away.
“Sure, babe,” Matty agrees and places a kiss on my forehead. I know he’s just playing his part of the game I started this morning, but all the attention sure feels good. It’s been a long time since anyone has made me feel special.
For a moment, I wonder what it would have been like if I had been Matty’s girl instead of Jase’s. Would we be married by now? Would Jenny have a little brother or sister? I look at Matty then peek over at Jase. They look so much alike. Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with the reliable brother? I shake my thoughts away. “Come on, y’all. Let’s get to the zoo.”
We start to walk back to the parking garage, but Jenny spies Ye Olde Fudge Shoppe and begs Matty to take her in. It didn’t take much begging. Matty would give my girl the moon if he could. I start to follow them in when Jase grabs my hand and pulls me back onto the sidewalk.
“What the hell is going on between you and Matty? Shit, Julie, he’s my brother,” Jase finishes while shaking his head in frustration.
I look down to my feet and think about what Jase says. He is right in a way. I am being a bitch, and I’m not that type of girl. I’m not so petty that I need to use a friend to make someone jealous, am I? I can explain it any way I want, but that’s what I’m doing. I’m pulled from my thoughts by a woman wearing way too much perfume.
“Jase Gibson, wow! It’s great to see you here,” she says while pushing her body against his. “You never called me back, but I’ll forgive you.” Her voice is flirty. She turns to look at me. She blinks a few times then sneers at me. ”Oh my, if it isn’t Julie Walker.”
That’s when it hits me. Brittany Miller. She was Brandon’s girlfriend in high school. She was always a bitch to me when she was dating my brother. She would call me names and make fun of me to her friends. As soon as Brandon found out, he broke things off with her, but it was too late to undo the damage it caused. She blamed me for losing him, and things only got worse.
Think about all the things that high school bullies do, and I guarantee she did it to me, only she’s a devious bitch. She wasn’t a normal bully. No, Brittany was devoted to it. I swear she spent every waking moment coming up with new ways to torment me.
One time, she even took pictures of me changing in the locker room. She blew the pictures up, wrote cow across my ass, and then hung them all over the school. I spent the rest of the year with everyone mooing at me.
I came home crying nearly every day. I almost quit school just to get away from her, but Kristen and Becca talked me out of it. Jase knew what happened. He used to hate her as much as I did, but I guess his dick didn’t hate her. Seems like his dick doesn’t hate anyone.
“I better head inside. Matty is with our daughter buying some candy, and I wouldn’t want him to get her too much.” I put my hand on Jase’s arm and squeeze. “I’ll go check on our daughter. See you inside?”
Just before stepping away, I look up at Jase and shake my head. I’m angry now; angry at Jase and angry at myself for feeling guilty about Matty.
“Yeah, Jase, your brother,” I say as I walk into the candy store.
Jase
I watch Julie walk into the shop, and my frustration grows. Shit, Brittany just fucked things up even more. I was so close this morning. Her words may have been harsh, but her stolen glances let me know I’m not the only one still feeling something.
“You need to go.”
She gets impossibly closer, rubbing her tits against my arm. “You know you don’t want me to leave.”
I take a step away and glare at her. “Yes, I do. I’m spending the day with Julie and our daughter.” I say, purposely leaving out Matty. I don’t even want to think about why he’s here.
“You have a daughter with her?” Brittany asks, even though Julie just told her about Jenny.
“Yeah, she’s eight years old and fucking beautiful. I messed things up with Julie, but I’m going to
fix it. I can’t do that with you here.”
“Jase…” she starts with a whine, but I cut her off.
“Like I said, you need to go.”
“Well, excuse me. I just thought we could have another go,” she says, purring and rubbing up against me. Before, I would have taken her up on it, but not with Julie back. Even if I never get the chance to have Julie again, my time with bitches like her is over.
“Did you not hear me say that I have a daughter, or did you miss the part where I said that I want to work things out with Julie?”
“Yeah, I heard you, but I don’t care. Becca and I were talking yesterday, and I really don’t think you care either, do you?” She smiles sarcastically. “I know all about you screwing Becca the first time you were with Julie. Why should this time be any different? We just won’t tell her,” she says with malice.
“What is with you stupid bitches? Becca is a cunt, and I don’t want you or anyone else. I only want my family, so fuck off. Tell all your damn friends the same thing,” I say angrily as I walk off.
My mom would beat my ass if she heard me talk to a woman like that, but I had to put her in her place. I can’t have that shit going on around my kid. I don’t want it going on at all. I’m done with all that. My family is the only thing that’s important to me now.
When I walk into the shop, I see Matty laughing with Julie and Jenny. Jenny pulls on his hand, and he bends down to her. She gives him a kiss on the cheek with her fudge-covered lips. Julie laughs and reaches for a napkin. She wipes the fudge off his cheek and kisses him in the same spot that my daughter had just kissed. Matty grabs them both and pulls them in for a hug.
It’s at that exact moment that I realize just how much I have lost. I have to grab the wall to keep upright; the pain in my chest nearly brings me to my knees.
