by E. L. Todd
I didn’t call his bluff. “I’ll take Soldier. You can leave now.”
He continued to linger at the counter. “I know this doesn’t mean anything coming from me, but I don’t like Brutus.”
“You’re right…it doesn’t mean anything.” I was doing bookkeeping on my laptop, but since this conversation was going nowhere, I shut my computer and looked into his blue eyes.
“I’m serious, baby. That guy…is not respectable.”
“Really?” I questioned. “You think he made his billions from bank fraud or tax evasion? You think he’s a cheater and a liar? It’s ironic for you to throw insults when someone could say the same about you.”
“I know I fucked up, but at least I’m honest about the things I fuck up on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He held his silence, staring me down and keeping his secrets to himself.
“Finn? What aren’t you telling me?”
He backed away from the counter. “Just take my word for it.” He walked out of the store and put his earbuds back in his ears. Then he ran past the windows of the store until he was out of sight.
16
Colton
After shooting hoops in the driveway, we went into his living room and opened a few beers while we waited for the pizza to be delivered. The game was on the screen and Finn seemed to be into it, but since I didn’t like to watch sports, I hardly paid attention. “Pepper told me you and Brutus got along well…”
“The guy is a prick.” He kept his eyes on the TV, the bottle resting between his thighs.
“Everyone else likes him.”
“Because he wants you to like him.” Finn had a permanently dark look on his face, carrying his sadness like a billboard. Soldier wasn’t there because he’d let Pepper borrow him, so he was in the house all alone.
I felt bad for him. “He seems like a good guy to me.”
“Trust me, he’s not.”
I turned to him, wondering what kind of legitimate excuse Finn could make up. “You don’t even know him, Finn.”
“You don’t need to know a serial killer to know if he’s a murderer.”
“Well…Brutus isn’t a murderer.”
Finn finally pulled his gaze from the TV and looked at me. “No. But he’s a little bitch.”
“What did he do?” I asked, not expecting a good answer.
“I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you won’t tell Pepper.” He set his beer on the end table beside him.
Now, it was getting interesting. “You know I don’t keep anything from her.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to promise, or I won’t tell you.”
“If you have dirt on him, why wouldn’t you want her to know?” If Finn had something that could bury Brutus, then Brutus would be out of the way and Finn could have a better chance with Pepper.
“Because I thought he would be man enough to tell her himself…and he didn’t.” He shook his head. “A real man is honest about the stunts he pulls, no matter how bad they are. I told Pepper I slept with someone while in Uganda, and she hadn’t even asked. That’s what men do—they’re honest.”
“Honest like when you proposed to Pepper then ditched her?”
His eyes narrowed in hostility. “Honest like when you married her but were attracted to men?” he snapped. “It’s not the same thing at all.”
“Well, don’t put yourself on a pedestal when you don’t belong there.”
“I’m just saying, this guy isn’t as perfect as she thinks.”
“Okay…then what did he do?”
“Are you gonna keep your promise?”
“Are you gonna explain why it has to be a secret?”
He sighed. “Because I don’t want to win her that way. I don’t want her to come back to me because this guy hurt her. I don’t want to win her because I kicked him out of the race. And where I come from…you never snitch. It says a lot more about you than it does them. So, are we going to keep this between us?”
I never kept secrets from Pepper, but my curiosity was getting to me. “Alright, fine. Tell me.”
He walked into the kitchen, got something out of a drawer, and then came back to me. He held two pieces of a ripped check. He put them together then laid them on the couch so I could see.
It was a billion-dollar check made out to Finn. A cashier’s check.
I stared at it then lifted my gaze to meet his. “What does this mean? Brutus wrote you a billion-dollar check?”
He nodded. “Said this check was mine if I left Seattle that night.”
I knew my brother wouldn’t lie about something like that, so I believed him. And that was also a real billion-dollar check. Brutus was the only person we knew who could afford a bribe like that. “When did this happen?”
“He came to my doorstep last week?”
I pulled my eyes away from the check. “He just showed up?”
He nodded. “At like nine in the evening. He told me to leave and handed me the check.”
“Why is it ripped?”
“Because I ripped it in half. I only kept it in case I needed it for proof someday…”
My brother was offered a billion-dollar guarantee, and he said no? He tore up the check and said goodbye to a life of fortune and luxury? He traded all of that in so he could keep fighting for Pepper, even though he might never get him back? I stared at him in disbelief, looking at my brother with new eyes.
Finn held my gaze, his brooding expression dark. “That was low of him. One, it was insulting. And two, he had no right to meddle in a relationship he knows nothing about. Maybe Pepper doesn’t want me to leave. Maybe she wants me to stay. He’s a pussy who makes his problems disappear with his wallet. There’s no respect in that. If he came here and threatened me the old-fashioned way, at least I would have respected him. But this…” He glanced down at the check. “It’s low. And the fact that he thinks Pepper is worth such a small amount is insulting.”
“Small?” I asked incredulously.
“For someone like Pepper, yes.” He grabbed the pieces and folded them in half. “She shouldn’t be with a man who pulls stunts like this. It’s controlling and possessive. Not to mention, it’s also creepy.” He tossed the papers onto the coffee table.
It was a lot to take in, so I was still absorbing it. Brutus tried to bribe Finn to disappear, to take the money and run.
But he didn’t.
He was sitting on the couch beside me, watching the game like any other night of the week. He gave up his position at Doctors Without Borders to live a normal life with Pepper. Then he turned down a fortune to stay here, to keep living a normal life. If that didn’t mean he loved Pepper…I didn’t know what did.
Finn could read my mind. “I really love her, Colt.” Emotion escaped in his voice. “I know I fucked up, but it was a mistake. I’m here now, and I’m never going to leave. This is where I belong. Will you help me?”
“Help you how?”
“You’ve been rooting for Brutus. Now it’s time to root for me.”
“It doesn’t matter who I root for. This is Pepper’s decision—”
“But she listens to you. Stop whispering in her ear and saying how great Brutus is. Start telling her I’m great…that I deserve another chance. Come on, man. I need you right now. I need you on my side. Otherwise, this is going to be a million times harder.”
“So you want me to influence her?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t think she should make her own decision?”
His eyes narrowed. “You told her to stick with Brutus and never give me a chance. How is that not influencing? I turned down a billion dollars, when ninety-nine percent of men wouldn’t. That has to count for something.”
It did…it counted for a lot. “Alright…”
“Thank you.”
“But just to be clear, I’m not doing this because you’re my brother. I’m doing this—”
“Because it’s the right thing t
o do.”
We got lunch in the middle of the day, and Soldier came with us. We sat outside at the picnic tables near the front door of the deli. I got a chicken salad sandwich while she went with a meatball sub, getting sauce all over her face.
“You’ve got shit all over your face.”
She shrugged. “Whatever, it’s just you.”
“You used to be a little cleaner when we were married.”
“But now we aren’t sleeping together anymore, so I don’t care.” She kept eating, the red marinara around her lips.
Soldier whined for a scrap.
Pepper was weak, so she tossed him one of her meatballs.
“You guys are inseparable.”
“He’s such a sweetheart.” She eyed him fondly before turning back to me. “He’s like my best friend. I even talk to him like he’s a real person. Just the other night, I complained to him that my Chinese food took forever to be delivered.”
“Sounds like a free therapist.”
“I swear, he knows exactly how I feel when I feel it. He comforted me the entire time Finn was gone for that one month. I just wish he had been there with me after Finn dumped me.” She stuck her hand in her bag and snaked out a few chips.
That was my opening to say something positive. I wanted to tell her that her boyfriend tried to buy Finn off for a billion dollars, but I’d promised not to. “I’ve been spending more time with Finn… He seems sincere about everything.”
The chips crunched in her mouth as she ate them.
“He’s miserable without you.”
She ignored what I said.
It seemed like my words meant nothing to her. “I know you think Finn is just here for a short while…but I don’t think he is. I think he knows he really messed up, and now he wants to make it right.”
“How much did he pay you to say that?”
Interesting choice of words. “Come on, you know I wouldn’t say that unless I really thought it.”
“Don’t let him wear you down.”
Turning down a billion-dollar check was pretty powerful. I couldn’t ignore it. “I know how much you were hurt by him so you keep your walls up high. I get it. But I don’t think Finn would do that again.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m never taking him back.”
Maybe Finn should have taken the money.
“Because you think he’ll hurt you again?”
“I know he will.” She kept eating her chips. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I’m with Brutus, and I’m staying with Brutus.”
I didn’t know how I felt about the guy anymore. He showed up to Finn’s house late at night to make him disappear. It was a little intimidating…having Pepper date someone with that much power. What else was he capable of? “Do you love him?”
Her answer was immediate. “No. But that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“So what’s your plan? To be with Brutus until you do love him?”
When her bag of chips was empty, she folded it then tossed it on the tray. “When I fall in love with someone, it happens quickly. With you, within a few days, I knew I loved you. With Finn, it happened within seconds. I haven’t felt that way about Brutus…so I don’t think I ever will. But that’s perfect. Without love, you can’t get hurt.”
That sounded boring. “Without love, what are you sticking around for?”
“Well, the sex is good. He’s easy to talk to. He gets along with all of my friends. He wants to have a family.”
“With that criteria, you could have picked any guy.”
“Exactly,” she said. “Which is why it’s easy. If he ever pulls a stunt, it won’t hurt.”
I hadn’t realized the extent of Finn’s damage until now. Pepper openly admitted she wanted to be with a guy without any concrete reason. She wanted to be in a relationship, maybe even have a family with him, but she didn’t love him. “Pepper, you need to listen to me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please don’t let this be the same conversation we’ve already had…”
“Look, it’s fine if Brutus is just some fuck-buddy rebound. But don’t be in a loveless relationship. Don’t give up on the institution altogether. It’s out there. You will find the right guy who you love and who loves you.”
“Well…I already found the man I fell head over heels for. He made me feel things I never felt before. It was beautiful, crazy, and so damn deep.” She spoke with emotion, but her eyes were empty. “And he left. He took back his ring and left. So I’m not looking for another relationship based on love. I’ve done it twice now, and it’s blown up in my face. I’m not ashamed to admit Brutus is easy. I’ve said the same thing right to his face. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“I’m making a big deal because you’re selling yourself short. Be with a man you love—”
“I already love a man, and I’ll love him for the rest of my life.” When she stared at me, she seemed both alive and dead at the same time. “But that doesn’t mean I should be with him. That’s not enough to be with someone who doesn’t treat you right, who doesn’t stick around when you need him most. I could spend the rest of my life trying to fall in love again, but I’ll never love anyone the way I love Finn. It’s the sad and horrific truth. So I’ll find someone I don’t love—but who has everything else.”
I didn’t say a word in response because I was speechless. The whole time I had been pushing Brutus on her, in reality, I had been encouraging this loveless relationship. She just admitted that she was in love with Finn, that he was the only man she would ever love. And I’d been pushing Brutus on her this entire time. “If you really thought Finn wouldn’t fuck up again, would you take him back?”
She rested her arms on the table and considered my question with wet eyes. She shook her head slightly as she continued to think of what she might say. “I don’t know. I really can’t picture a reality where he won’t fuck up again…so I can’t even entertain the question.”
When I got home later that night, I called Finn.
“Hey,” he said in a brooding voice. “What’s up?”
“I had an interesting conversation with Pepper today.”
After a long pause, he spoke again. “Yeah?”
“She told me she’s with Brutus because she doesn’t love him. If she doesn’t love him, he can’t hurt her.”
“Well…I figured that.”
“I kept pestering her about you…and she said she’s still in love with you. She says she’ll always be in love with you.”
He took a deep breath, like those words meant the world to him.
“But she doesn’t trust you not to hurt her…and she never will.”
Finn was quiet for a long time, absorbing my words as he sat in silence. His breathing was barely audible, but it slowly picked up the longer time went on. “Thanks for telling me, Colt. That means a lot to me.”
“You’re welcome. But you still have a long road ahead of you. You burned her bad, man.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I’ll wait as long as she needs me to wait. I’m in no rush.”
17
Pepper
Soldier sat on the floor and stared at me.
My fingers dug into my bowl of popcorn, and I popped a few kernels into my mouth.
He whined and focused those pretty brown eyes on my face.
“Alright…” I grabbed a piece and prepared to throw it.
He got into his pouncing stance.
I tossed it into the air.
He snapped at it with his powerful jaws, eating the piece with a crunch.
“Good job.”
As soon as he had one piece, he wanted another.
A knock sounded on my door.
Once there was an intruder, Soldier went into defensive mode. He walked to the door and started to sniff through the crack. When he got a scent he didn’t like, he growled.
“Soldier, what’s gotten into you?” I chuckled as I headed to the door. I’d never heard him growl since
I’d known him. He was an old police dog, but he seemed too sweet and affectionate to work with crime all day. I opened the door and saw Brutus on the other side. “Hey.”
Soldier growled louder, moving between my legs like he was trying to protect me.
Brutus held a bag of Italian food that he’d picked up on the way over, and he immediately stepped back when he spotted Soldier baring his fangs.
“Soldier, come on.” I kneeled down and rubbed his back to make him relax. “It’s alright. Calm down.” I rubbed behind his ears until he stopped growling, but he still looked at Brutus like he didn’t like him. “That’s weird…I’ve never seen him do that before.”
Brutus was too scared to come in, so he stayed in the hallway with his food tucked under his arm.
“Soldier, come here.” I patted the cushion on the couch until he obeyed. “Be nice, alright? Brutus is a good guy. Don’t worry about him.”
When the coast was clear, Brutus came inside and carried the food into the kitchen. “Still spending time with that dog, huh?” He didn’t sheathe his dislike for anything that concerned Finn, even an animal.
“He’s a sweetheart. I’m not sure why he’s tense around you.”
Soldier started to growl again.
“Soldier, come on.” I scratched behind his ears again. “Be nice.” I left the couch and joined Brutus in the kitchen. “Sorry about that…” I rose on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for picking up dinner.”
“No problem.” He pulled out the containers and helped himself to the silverware in my drawer. “How was your day—”
Soldier snuck up on us, and now he growled at Brutus again, down in his defensive stance with his teeth bared. Then he started to bark, turning into an attack dog that seemed like he was going to bite Brutus’s face off.
Brutus scooted closer to the counter. “Can you get rid of him?”
I didn’t want to kick Soldier out of the apartment, but I clearly couldn’t have the two of them in the same room together…which was strange. “Soldier, what is up with you?” I grabbed his leash and hooked it around his collar before I pulled him toward the door.
