by Beth Rinyu
“Oh…umm…”
“Joey Bean!” Cole shouted before I could even come up with an excuse.
“Daddy!” Her eyes lit up as she hopped out of the chair and jumped in his arms, smothering him with kisses all over his face. “Did you sleep here last night?” she asked, pinching his cheeks the same way my mother would always do to her.
“Umm…” Cole paused.
“Daddy fell asleep on the couch watching the baseball game.”
She creased her eyebrows and wrapped her arms around his neck. “But you weren’t on the couch when I woke up this morning.”
He let out a nervous laugh.
“That’s because he was in the bathroom,” I answered for him.
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too, Joey Bean.”
“Daddy,” she said in a loud whisper, moving closer to his ear.
“Yeah?”
“I know why you really slept here last night.”
My stomach clenched and my widened eyes met his. “Why?” he asked as I held my breath in angst, waiting for her reply.
“Because you drank too much beer and Mommy wouldn’t let you drive home.”
I let out a relieved breath before turning around and pouring a cup of coffee.
“Yup, that’s why,” I shouted.
Joey’s forehead pressed against Cole’s. “Silly boy!” She giggled as he began to tickle her. “Will you stay and have some chocolate puffs with me?”
“Sure.” He went to take a seat, and Joey gasped.
“Daddy! You’re gonna sit on Agnes!”
He picked up the stuffed animal and stared into her button eyes. “Oops, sorry, Agnes.”
Joey bellowed with laughter as I stood there quietly, staring at the two of them. I never thought of the three of us as a family because we had never really spent time all together at once, but this morning, for the first time, it hit me: this beautiful little girl whom I loved more than anything in this world was just as much his as she was mine. Together we had created the most important thing in my life. I had never viewed him as anything other than the guy who’d knocked me up, but as I stood in that tiny little kitchen, watching him and Joey interacting together and replaying last night in my mind, I was beginning to view things differently.
Chapter 3
Faith
“I slept with Cole last night!” I blurted to Natalia as we walked through the outdoor flea market with Joey just a few feet in front of us.
“You what?” She stopped dead in her tracks, and I prepared myself for her wrath that was about to come. I didn’t know why I even told her, but confessing my sins to Natalia in my adult life took the place of confessing to the priests in my childhood.
“Joey, get back here!” I shouted just before Natalia got ready to lay into me.
“Why on earth would you do that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I needed to—”
“Come on, you guys,” Joey whined, stomping back to us and tugging on my hand to move.
“I needed to eat some chocolate.” I began to talk in code, something we did often when Joey was around.
“But, Faith. There are so many other different chocolates out there. Why would you pick that one?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because that piece of chocolate was right there on my couch, and I was drinking some wine….”
Joey looked up at me and gasped. “Mommy! Too much wine isn’t good for you,” she scolded.
“I didn’t drink too much, Joey.”
“Obviously, you did,” Natalia mumbled under her breath.
“Nat, come on, can you cut me a little break here?”
We took a seat on an empty bench by the pond. I reached into my purse and pulled out the baggie full of stale bread that we would bring with us to feed the wildlife each time we would go to this particular flea market.
“Stay right there where I can see you!” I shouted to Joey as she ran off closer to the water to feed her feathered friends. “Would you be a little less mad if I told you the sex was amazing?” I asked Natalia while keeping my eyes on Joey the entire time.
“Faith, I’m not mad…well, actually I am. Look, I know Cole is Joey’s dad, and he happens to be a very good friend of my boyfriend, but I totally lost all respect for him.”
“What? Why?”
She shook her head. “Just because.” She paused and gathered her thoughts. “Ever since Joey was born, he never once stepped up to the plate and acted like the father he should be to her.”
“What are you talking about? He loves Joey and she loves him.”
“I know he does, but, Faith, you shouldn’t be the one working your ass off, cleaning people’s houses and then pedaling smut at night. He should have a job, and not the little rinky-dink part-time one he has at the hardware store…a real job! He should have gotten his degree years ago, instead of becoming a career student and refusing to grow up. He has money to go out partying. Why can’t he be using that money to support his daughter?”
“He gives me money for her...sometimes.”
“Sometimes! Faith, don’t you get it? It should be all the time. You’re always making excuses for him. Joey is just as much his responsibility as yours.”
“I don’t make excuses for him, Natalia!” Sometimes her brutal honesty really pissed me off no matter how right she was. “He’s there for me when I need him.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah…sure. Like that time you were trying to get in touch with him when you had to take Joey to the ER because she was running a raging fever.”
“Natalia! I told you what happened that night. He was at the library cramming for mid-terms and forgot his phone.”
Frustration shrouded her face. “God, you are so naïve when it comes to him!”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.
“He wasn’t studying! He was in his room having a threesome with two bimbos he picked up at the bar.”
“How do you know?”
“Umm…have you forgotten Darius is his roommate?” Sometimes I hated that connection and the fact that my best friend’s boyfriend was such good friends with Cole.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Because it didn’t matter. What mattered was Joey that night, and I didn’t want to upset you even more by letting you know he was blatantly ignoring your calls.”
“Natalia, you shoulda told me!”
“Well, I’m telling you now.”
“Yeah, two years later.”
“I’m sorry, I just…I just didn’t want to upset you even more that night.”
I looked over at Joey, running around, chasing the geese. She was so happy to see her daddy this morning. I was so happy seeing the two of them together. Not to mention, I was still thinking about how great the sex with him was.
“That was two years ago, Nat. People change, and I know he loves Joey.”
“I’m not saying he doesn’t, Faith. Just forget it.” She waved in a dismissing manner.
“Okay, you’re going to think I’m really crazy, but—” I paused. Was I a glutton for punishment or what? Why would I even admit to her how I was feeling? I know why, because she was my best friend and the rational side of my brain when I was being irrational. Funny how two complete opposites could be the best of friends. But something between Natalia and me clicked ever since we had become dorm mates during our freshman year in college.
“But what, Faith?” She tilted her head and waited for my reply.
“It’s just—”
Her eyes began to narrow.
“Please don’t give me that look.”
“What look?”
“The one you’re giving me right now. The one you give right before you turn into a combination of my mother and every single one of the nuns from back when I was in school.”
“I’m not…I’m just waiting for you to finish.”
“Last night was pretty amazing.”
>
Her head was already shaking, and I put my hand up to stop her before she could get a word out.
“Just let me finish. I don’t know, Nat, it was different than all of the other times. I have all of these feelings for him that I’ve never felt before. And then this morning, seeing him with Joey, I think maybe we could be together as a family.”
“Oh my God, Faith! First of all, you haven’t had sex in what? A year?”
“No! More like six or seven months.”
“Okay, same difference. Any guy with a dick would do the trick at that point. There is nothing superior about Cole Hunter’s, okay? You’re a sexual camel who finally got a little to drink and now you think you’ve entered some special little oasis. Do not! I repeat. Do not fall for it! I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I’m sure he just sees you as another girl on his list. The fact that you’re the mother of his child doesn’t mean jack to him. So you need to stop putting him on a pedestal just because he’s Joey’s father.”
“No, Nat…he was so different last night. It was like—”
“Mommy, that stupid goose is following me!” Joey rushed over to us.
“O, no…go away, goose!” I shouted.
“We will finish this conversation when little Miss Ears isn’t around,” Natalia chided.
“Hey, are you talking about me?” Joey crossed her arms with her bottom lip protruding.
“Yes, I am!” Natalia replied before grabbing Joey’s hand. “But I still love ya! Let’s go see if the cupcake lady is here today. I’ll get ya one of those giant strawberry ones you like!”
I lagged behind as the two of them scurried off. What did Natalia know? She wasn’t there last night or this morning. She didn’t feel the connection between Cole and me. She could say he would never change, but I knew differently. Maybe we had waited so long to finally be together because the time wasn’t right. Maybe now it finally was. My thoughts were somewhat validated when I read the text that had just come in.
Cole: Hey, Deenie. Had a great time last night. Let me know when you’re up for a repeat performance. Give my favorite girl a hug and kiss from me.
Okay, maybe I was reading into it a little bit more, but this time it was really different…I knew it.
***
Most girls my age would be spending their Saturday night partying with their friends or on a romantic date with their significant other. Me, I was sitting on my couch with a pint of chocolate ice cream, watching Beauty and the Beast on auto-play while Joey was fast asleep with her head on my lap. I was just about to text Cole after finally working up the courage, only to be interrupted by Natalia’s incoming call.
Damn! Does she have some type of radar on me or something?
“Okay, are we ready for round two?” I answered.
“Have you called him?”
“No.”
“Texted him?”
I paused. “N-o-o.”
“You sent him a text, didn’t you?”
“No. I was going to, and you kinda interrupted it with your call.”
God! Why can’t I lie to her?
“Faith! Ugh!!” she shouted. “Well, that’s not why I was calling anyway. Darius was telling me there’s an opening at his company.”
Suddenly my curiosity was piqued. Darius worked for a software development firm, which meant maybe a chance for me to put my two years of graphic design studies to use. “Okay…I’m listening.”
“There’s an administrative assistant position open and—”
“Oh,” I interrupted.
“Oh? Faith, this may work out great for you. You’d be making a decent salary with health benefits, and once you’re there for a year, they’ll pay for your schooling. You can go back to school and finish getting your degree!”
“I have no experience as an administrative assistant.”
“How hard can it be? And it will be good for you to be out in the working world, meeting new people.”
“Um…hello? I am in the working world. I have two jobs, remember?”
“I know, I know. But with this job you’ll be meeting new people instead of just the senior citizens you clean houses for or the undersexed housewives who book your parties.”
“I happen to like those senior citizens, and I relate quite well to those undersexed housewives.”
“Faith, I just think—”
“And I think you need to stop worrying so much about me…MOM!”
“You’re just impossible, you know that?”
“Love you too, Nat! Goodnight!” I exclaimed before hanging up and tossing my phone on the table as I focused my attention on Belle singing away on my television. She was right…there must be more than this provincial life!
Chapter 4
Faith
The week had gone from bad to worse. Mrs. Lemley, one of my housecleaning clients, had passed away. My daughter walked around constantly with a hooded sweat jacket hanging from her head and rosary beads around her neck because she wanted to be a nun. My car was acting up, and I had slept with Cole…again…twice.
Did I regret it?
Only for a second. Once his hands started doing their magic on my body, all regrets went out the window.
I was waiting anxiously for the mechanic to call me back, hoping that whatever was wrong with my car wouldn’t eat up my savings. Even though I hated driving my mother’s Buick, which fit right in at the senior community I frequented, I was thankful to her for allowing me to borrow it.
“Please let this be the mechanic, please let this be the mechanic!” I shouted over the blaring radio as I dug through my purse with one hand while keeping my other one on the steering wheel. My stomach dropped when I saw it was the school calling. I pulled off into the parking lot of the convenience store that I was just passing by before answering.
“Hello.” I was automatically assuming the worst. Maybe Joey had gotten sick. She was complaining her head hurt this morning, and I brushed it off. I was officially the worst mother in the world. I had sent my sick baby to school and now this was probably the nurse calling to let me know how horrible I was for not listening to my daughter this morning.
“Miss DiNatale,” a stern voice on the other end of the phone summoned.
“Yes, this is she.”
“This is Sister Antoinette.”
Sister Antoinette? Was it possible that she was still the principal of the grammar school? Was it possible that she was still even alive? She was ancient when I was a student there. Not only was she ancient, but she was mean! I made sure to always be on my best behavior just to spare myself from facing her alone in her office.
“Miss DiNatale, we had an incident that was brought to our attention.”
“An incident? Is Joey okay?”
“Yes, Joelle is fine, but I need you to come to my office right away so we can discuss it.”
“Oh…ummm.” My stomach dipped. Sister Antoinette was sequestering me to her office. Suddenly, I was feeling like that scared schoolgirl from all those years ago. “Yes, Sister Antoinette, I’ll be right there.” I hung up the phone and floored it to the school, not even remembering the drive there. My palms were sweaty, my stomach felt sick, and the Catholic guilt filled my body the minute I walked through the doors of that building where I had spent so many years of my impressionable young life.
“Hi, I’m Faith DiNatale. Sister Antoinette just called me,” I said to the older secretary, who looked like she was from a 1950s sitcom.
She adjusted her thick black framed glasses and looked me over before giving me a nod. “You can come on back.” She stood up and led me into Sister Antoinette’s office. My stomach did one final flip before crossing the threshold. I was taken by surprise to find a nerdy looking couple in her office as well. The man had a severe side part and glasses. And was that really a pocket protector he was sporting in his shirt pocket? The woman had her hair pulled back tightly in a bun, so tight that her eyes almost looked crossed. Her skin lacked makeup, and she was in some serious
need of some sun. I gave them a quick smile and when I didn’t get one in return, I silently wondered if they knew what was going through my mind about them.
“Hello, Sister.” My voice shook as I stared into Sister Antoinette’s steel gray eyes that I still remembered from so long ago. Did this woman never age or did she perpetually look like she was one hundred years old?
“Have a seat, Miss DiNatale.”
“Oh, it’s Faith.”
She creased her eyebrows.
“My name is Faith. You can call me Faith. I used to be a student here. I don’t know if you remember me—”
“Please have a seat.” She cut me off. Guess she didn’t care that I was a good girl who didn’t cause any problems when I attended school here.
I sat down in the only empty chair while Gary and Greta Geek stared me up and down. Who are these people anyway?
Sister Antoinette cleared her throat, never breaking her stern demeanor. “Miss DiNatale. This is Roger and Vivian Hutchins. Their daughter, Molly, is in Joelle’s class.”
“Oh, you’re Molly’s parents? Joey talks about her all the time. I would love to get your number so we can get the girls together for a play date.”
The mother raised her un-plucked eyebrow at me then stared straight ahead.
“Miss DiNatale, do you mind telling us just exactly what this is?”
My face was on fire and all the feeling in my legs diminished when Sister Antoinette reached into her desk drawer and pulled out what I recognized right away as a cock ring from the new Bright Days, Brighter Nights Collection. My throat tightened and a familiar mounting pressure began to form in my shoulders and chest as all eyes were on me.
“I-I...” I stammered as I looked at the statue of the Blessed Mother on the shelf behind the sister’s desk. Even she was staring at me. Oh, screw it! I wasn’t going to fess up to this. I’d always been a good girl when I was under this roof, and I wasn’t about to tarnish that reputation now. “Oh, I don’t know, is that some type of pretty bracelet?” I asked, taking it from the sister’s hand and looking it over as if I had never laid eyes on it before.
